6. The Lovers
I always find it interesting that most people presume that the Lovers card is about bringing someone else into their lives, and that this card symbolizes a certain stage of maturation that dictates a time of matchup or joining with another to carry on to the next phases of life. I will admit this is one way of looking at the Lovers, but I do find it a very limiting and narrow way to view this card. For me, the story of this card lies more in its number allocation than in its title. The number six is focused more on the idea of relationships and commitments, sometimes with other people, but mostly with ourselves. In many respects, this card tests our resolve to walk a certain path, to be and act a certain way, and to think about who and what we interact with as we continue on the journey we started back at the Fool card. The Lovers asks us who and what we are committed to. This question needs to be answered honestly.
The longest relationship we have is with ourselves. It is the one relationship we should be constantly fostering, nurturing, and deepening. So how is your relationship with you? Are you on good terms with yourself, or are you committed to beating yourself up and setting yourself up for failure? Repeating destructive patterns of behavior generally lets us know we are committed to making life difficult for ourselves, and in turn difficult for those around us. Choosing to be committed to a joyful, loving, and peaceful path generally means your life flows pretty well, and you find yourself supported by loving, joyful, peaceful people in return. Your life is a commitment, but what you have committed to will be showcased here in the Lovers card. Good or bad is irrelevant, as you can choose to change your journey, change your commitments, and deepen your relationship with the one person who matters the most: you.
Pathwork
Intentional
For this exercise, you are going to write up a self-care regimen and make a commitment to follow through with it. Self-care is an expression of self-love. When we learn to put ourselves first, we are acknowledging that we matter and that we see ourselves as important. If our relationship with our self is solid, committed, and filled with love, then so too are all of our other relationships. In essence, this is using the Lovers card in the most intentional and deliberate way.
Most times people will say they have a wonderful self-care regimen in place, so I ask them to describe it. This is where things tend to unravel, mainly because most of us don’t really make a firm commitment to self-care. Most of us, myself included, tend to see self-care as a luxury; it’s something that there isn’t always time, money, or space for. The truth is, self-care is the one thing we should be making our number one priority. Self-care doesn’t have to be all bubble baths and massages, but if that is yours, fabulous! Self-care is also having quiet time alone, when you won’t be distracted or interrupted. It can be taking yourself out for a morning walk and letting your body and mind relax. It can be a yoga class, a daily salad, a ten-minute meditation, or a mani-pedi. It really doesn’t matter what you do, just how consistent you are in doing it. This is the commitment part, the follow through, the point of accountability, the real intentional lesson of the path of the Lovers. Commit, show up, follow-through.
Intuitive
For something totally different, turn your Lovers card upside down and purposely put this card and the energy that surrounds it in a protective bubble. Close your eyes and allow yourself to go back in time to immerse yourself in a period when you first met your spouse or significant other, when you first realized you were part of a family, or that very first moment you decided you were going to be best friends with someone. Really put yourself back into the shoes of your former self. While you are there, take note of what type of person you were at this time. Who was the person who formed all of these relationships that your present self has to live with?
Sometimes when I do this exercise with my private clients they don’t even recognize the people they see back at the moment of their relationship conceptions, which, to be honest, is to be expected as we all grow, change, and evolve. But the real question is, have your relationships done the same, or are you still trying to have the same relationship you had back when you were all different people? Use all of this information as a point of meditation. Allow yourself to really go deep with this exercise, especially if one of your current relationships is having problems or seems off track. You may find plenty to journal about later, but for now just meditate. Go back and follow the threads. See what has gone well and what perhaps may need some healing, love, and possible mending. Stay in reflection until you feel you cannot focus anymore, then grab your journal and dump your findings onto its pages.
Wandering
For this exercise, pick one thing you are currently working on manifesting. It might be a new job, a new creative project, a new house, or even a new lover. Hold it in your mind’s eye and then fast-forward to the moment after you have manifested your heart’s desire—where your future self is basking in the glow of the Lovers energy coming together. Now, let that future self take your current self for a walk backward in time. Your future self, the self that is already living the life you are only currently dreaming about, is going to show you what happened to make your dream into a reality. Do not try to control this journey, just let it unfold in your mind’s eye like a movie.
Right now you are purely an observer, collecting information that you will use to shore up your commitment to seeing this goal or dream through. When you are working tirelessly on a dream or goal and aren’t really seeing big changes around you, it is easy to become despondent, to stop your self-care, and to question your choices. By using this process with the Lovers card you are reconnecting your heart energy back to your goal or dream, as well as reenergizing your commitment to it. When we start from the end and remind ourselves just how amazing life is going to be when we pull this dream or goal off, we get a new burst of energy and a new sense of purpose. So go on, let your future self be your guide and go take a walk on the manifestation side of the street.
7. The Chariot
If we are to view the Chariot in the order it lands in the major arcana, we could say that this card represents the idea of moving out of your parents’ house and heading off into the world to start your own family or your own adventure. The Chariot card comes after the Lovers card, which can sometimes, but not always, show a coupling. Only a few cards before it we were learning from mother (Empress), father (Emperor), Auntie (the High Priestess), and Uncle (the Hierophant). If we view the first seven cards of the major arcana as what happens to us as we grow inside a family unit, when the Chariot rolls up, we know it’s time to pack our things and leave the security of the family home behind to head off into the world and make our mark. Given the time when the tarot was created, around the middle of the fifteenth century, this is exactly how life would have been, not to mention this point in our lives would have happened sooner rather than later, probably around fourteen to sixteen years of age. It is hard to imagine in today’s world being sent off at such an early age to start a family and provide for yourself financially. Leaving home is our first taste of life-altering change. We are literally moved out of our comfort zone and placed in situations that have tremendously sharp learning curves. Some take to these new conditions quickly and easily while others struggle and stumble.
Can you remember what it was like when you left home, how that movement changed all the aspects of your life? How did you manage it? Was it something you flowed with or something you really struggled with? The need for upheaval, the need to change and move away from where you are, is not something everyone jumps for joy about. Leaving one’s comfort zone can create fear in some, and fear makes for a terrible navigator. It is hard to think about the road you need to travel and the best route to get you from where you are to where you need to be when fear is yelling in your ear. Just know the Chariot doesn’t really care how you get to where you are going, and it doesn’t even really care what condition you are in when you arrive at your destinati
on. All it knows is that you are going, whether you like it or not.
Pathwork
Intentional
What areas of your life do you need to move on from, or, alternatively, what areas of your life do you need to drive toward? Trying to stay tethered to something while driving in the opposite direction is a fabulous way of totaling your Chariot, so stop, take a breath, close your eyes, and concentrate. What direction do you really need to be heading and how long is it going to take you to reach your destination? Now consider what you will need to leave behind, what you need to untether from so you can have forward movement. We don’t often think of loss when we see the Chariot card, but loss and gain go hand in hand. Moving is not always easy, nor is the road paved with guarantees, but sometimes we have no choice, and oftentimes the move is worth it in the long run. Use the answers to the questions in this exercise as points of meditation and dig deep to find out what really lies behind all of those fears and doubts that keep you tied to the very thing you are trying to drive your Chariot away from. Keep in mind that this won’t be the last change you see in the major arcana, as this movement here is only the first of many to come, so it is better to find those pesky excuses now and start weeding them out.
Intuitive
The Chariot is associated with the watery sign of Cancer. Those born in the sign of Cancer can be restless, always looking to the next adventure, even though they do tend to be homebodies. Travel, in many respects, keeps a Cancer’s water flowing. Go and pull your Chariot card from your deck and place it picture side up somewhere you can see it. Then gather some magazines, scissors, paste, and a sheet of cardboard (recommendation: 8.5 x 5.5 inches). For this exercise, you are going to use your Chariot to help you create a mini vision board for your dream vacation. Before you begin ripping, cutting, and pasting your pictures onto your cardboard, close your eyes just for a minute and conjure the vision of yourself having this amazing vacation. Hold the vision for as long as you can, then start on your mini vision board. This exercise is just as good as going on the vacation, as far as your energy is concerned. This very hands-on act will let the Chariot work through you, moving blocks and getting all four of your wheels firmly back on the path of your life. Once you have finished your vision board you can put it next to your Chariot card and light a candle, saying a simple prayer of gratitude for the journey, the adventure, and the trip of a lifetime, ramping up the manifestation energy both the Chariot card and your mini vision board provide.
Wandering
Let’s just say for a minute that you have crashed your Chariot. The wheels have fallen off and there is no way it can possibly be driven. You have one choice: leave it where it is and start walking. As your feet hit the path, which way are they headed? Knowing which way you’re headed is important, as each direction comes with its own meaning. So stop for a moment and notice which way your feet are instinctually pointed, as this direction has a message for you. North is the direction of inspiration and enlightened expression. South is the direction of passion, driven adventure, and movement. East is the direction of new opportunities and beginnings. And west is the direction of past issues and things coming to an end. Sometimes the most powerful lessons are the ones that are created out of things gone horribly wrong. So look at your feet, see where they are pointed, and move toward this new direction in your life.
8. Strength
This card could very well be called courage, for strength and courage seem to be only separated by the slightest of degrees. Just like courage, Strength comes in varied forms and means different things, depending on the context in which it is being used. Strength could be physical, emotional, intellectual, or spiritual. It could also be compassion and kindness, which are other elements of courage. We all require different facets of strength, depending on the challenges we face, what problems we wish to solve, or what new and scary dream we wish to pursue; and of course, where there is strength, courage, and compassion, there will be fear, doubt, and anger. It is as if one cannot get to Strength without first having to walk through one of its opposing gatekeepers. They are, for the most part, mutual allies, even though it may not seem that way initially. Often we don’t even know how strong, courageous, or compassionate we are until we come face-to-face with our darkest fears or our most dreaded circumstances. Perhaps this is why the Strength card comes right after the Chariot, and after we experience our first real life change within the journey of the major arcana.
There are many obstacles and challenges that your current journey will bring. Some will terrify you and others will reveal parts of yourself that you never knew existed. The Strength card lets you know that in many ways, your current set of circumstances is shaping you as a person. It is molding you into the person you will become, so it might be a good idea to see if this process is forming a future for you that is aligned with your dreams and goals, or if you are just recreating the same person you have always been. This is what walking with the Strength card is all about. It is a slow and gradual transformation and one that will change who you are forever. Once you move on from this card there will be no going back to the person you used to be. Instead you will forge on ahead as the person this card shaped you to be.
Pathwork
Intentional
Go ahead and pull the Strength card from your deck and lay it down faceup in front of you. Keep the remainder of the deck in your hands and shuffle it gently as you ask the Strength card a question. Your question is this: How might I best use you today? Once you have asked your question and feel you have shuffled your cards enough, hold the deck close to your chest in between your closed palms, fingers pointed up. Take three nice deep breaths and then open your hands and split your deck. The card that is on top and facing you is the answer to your question. Place it down next to the Strength card. These two cards will be your guiding energy today. Keep them somewhere you can see them as you move about your day; maybe even take a picture of them and make them the lock screen of your phone if you have to work or travel and can’t take your tarot cards with you. Each time you see these two cards, remember that the card that answered your question is the path to service today.
Intuitive
The Strength card in the Animal Totem Tarot was created to show what happens when strength is seen as a burden. The ox is strong, but his strength is used not for himself but in servitude to others. This idea that strength itself is not something favorable may seem to go against the grain of how most people think, as we often believe that courage, fortitude, and might are positive traits. But how many times have your gifts been a burden? This burden is exactly what we are going to meditate on today. Take some nice deep breaths and bring to mind the last time someone asked you to use your gift or your strength in a way that felt heavy or uncomfortable to you. Bring it to your mind’s eye and see it in full color. Take another nice deep breath and simply observe the feelings that come up as you watch the scene over again in your mind. Don’t make any judgments, just let the movie play along. Take another nice deep breath and now repeat this mantra: “My gift is not a burden and I am sorry for making it feel unloved. I love it and I am grateful I have it in my life.” Again, do not force anything; just keep breathing and reciting your mantra. If it feels more comfortable to close your eyes, please do so. Continue with this meditation and mantra until you feel complete. Take another nice deep breath and ground your energy back into your body and the room you find yourself in. If you want to explore this deeper, pick up your journal and write your findings in it. If not, just know you shifted a lot of energy in that small meditation, and it will make you stronger and more confident moving forward.
Wandering
How often do you think about this card in reverse or upside down? There is something very liberating about starting your quest for strength backward. In other words, take time to lean into all of the excuses, all of the fears, and all of the doubts that stop you from doing things you claim you want to do. Human
s are highly creative beings, and the number of excuses we make or reasons we give on a daily basis is quite staggering. Today, stop and pay attention every time you hear yourself saying “I can’t,” for at the core of all these “I can’t” statements are two very powerful emotions: fear and doubt. These two emotions tell a story. Every time you find yourself saying no to something, it is your upside down Strength card story playing out. Each time you listen to your story, ask yourself if what you are listening to is based on fact and if you have any real evidence that the story has merit. This exercise is not so much about facing your fears, or even overcoming them, but more about seeing them for what they are: a story you have created to stop you from moving out of your current situation.
9. The Hermit
Guide, teacher, and keeper of the path, the Hermit can represent the need to go on a spirit or vision quest. I am not speaking of the type where you take mind-altering drugs, but rather a period of deep meditation, inner reflection, and a shadow walk along all the small paths that have led you to this place, or this moment. The Hermit knows how this work is to be conducted and he also knows the places in the mind you will need to go. This is why he holds the lamp and acts as your guide. He knows where to take you, when to leave you to your own thoughts, and when to come back and get you. It is comforting to know that you will not be forgotten or abandoned on your quest, and to know that someone else will be holding space and watching over you as you do your cleaning and clearing work. In this respect, the Hermit may represent one of your personal healing guides, like an angel or ascended master, or even a totem animal. It doesn’t matter how you see the Hermit or what he or she shape-shifts into, just as long as you have the Hermit with you as you embark on your journey. The best quests have a specific intention, specified start and finish points, and a desired result in mind. Although you don’t have to share this information with the Hermit, it may be beneficial for you to do so. Let’s start with the most important question of all: What is it you seek? Clear the chatter and distractions from your mind and allow space for the question to present itself. Just know this: once your quest has begun, the only way out is to complete it. You can take as much time as you want, for physical time has no meaning in the Hermit’s world, and even when you think you are rushing, you are probably still taking more time than you could possibly imagine.
Pathworking the Tarot Page 4