Ellie was stunned. Was that the emergency they'd just passed? They'd been stopped near a place called "the cabin." It was a derelict, old home that had been abandoned decades ago. Teenagers used it for any number of illicit activities. It was at the very edge of the county, and the local cops didn't do much to monitor the place unless someone called to report an incident. She choked out her next question.
"Was anyone else involved in the accident?"
"No." Zibby answered. "They're saying she tried to commit suicide by swallowing an entire bottle of her anti-anxiety pills. We didn't even know she had anxiety. I feel so guilty." Another sniffle.
Ellie didn't know what to say. She managed to thank Zibby and to tell her that they might not make the curfew to pick up the girls. She felt a cold, hard lump of her own anxiety settle in the pit of her stomach.
"Don't worry, Mrs. P. There will be someone here to look after the girls. We'll all be here praying. I may not like Tai much, but I don't wish her dead."
A flicker of guilt prickled the back of Ellie's brain as she repeated the news to Julien. Something about his posture shifted. His shoulders fell back slightly, and his facial muscles unclenched. So, he was worried about the girls after all, she thought.
She said, "I know. My first reaction was relief that it had nothing to do with Mel or Bibi. Thank God they're okay." She paused. "And it sounds like they're doing everything they can to help Tai. We'll just have to hope for the best." She added, guiltily.
"Oui," Julien agreed, and they drove to the church as quickly as the detour would allow.
◆◆◆
The following Monday, the entire school was abuzz with the story of Tai's suicide attempt. The tales ranged from her swallowing a bottle of pills to slitting her wrists, but one detail never changed – one that directly affected Ellie.
Although Ellie was unaware of the rumors circulating when she got to school, she knew right away that something was amiss as soon as she entered the building. Instead of receiving the usual sleepy greetings and slow smiles, students avoided her gaze. As she walked down the long hallway, every single student seemed to remember something needed from a locker, an untied shoe, a dropped paper, or an urge to turn around mid-stride and head in the opposite direction.
Ellie didn't have much time to ponder the circumstances of her arrival; she had an attendance committee meeting before first period. She left the meeting and hurried to class but found an empty classroom. Ellie's classroom usually had a dozen students milling about, killing time between breakfast and the bell. When the first bell rang, only three students trickled in. Another four students scooted in at the very last second before the tardy bell sounded. Where was everyone?
Ellie was counting on the class leader, Bristol, to help run lines with a small group while she worked with the rest of the class, but he wasn't there. A good fifteen minutes after class had started, Bristol breezed through the doorway and dropped a tardy pass into Ellie's open hand, nose in the air, without looking at her. He was clearly in a foul mood. Bristol could be quite the diva when irritated.
Instead of sitting in his normal desk up front, he trounced back to the very last desk, as far away from Ellie as possible, and flung his bedazzled book bag down with a flourish and a sigh. When Ellie called on him to rehearse lines with his group, he acted like he didn't hear her. He turned his back to Ellie and started working with another group of actors to avoid her gaze.
Certain that he was being defiant on purpose, not just misunderstanding Ellie's directions, she approached Bristol. She whispered, "What's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing" he answered loud enough for everyone to hear him. "I just really hate bullies." He glared at Ellie. "I'm sick of this place allowing the bullying to go unpunished." He turned to face his classmates and said "But that's okay. Because even if they never face it here on earth, I know that bullies will receive final judgment in the afterlife." He added a head rotation and a snap of his fingers
"Amen, Bristol. You preach it, bruthuh!" A faint echo of Amens and Hallelujahs traveled throughout the class. Ellie gave Bristol an understanding look and shook her head in disgust. It must be hard to be a religious, black, male, gay teenager in Stusa. Someone must be pushing his buttons.
Well, she could overlook his arrogance. Anyone would be upset in his place. Ellie continued to circulate throughout the room.
It wasn't until lunch that she cottoned on. As she was walking to the lounge, she overheard Eve and Eden. They were standing around the corner outside the girls' restrooms and didn't see her coming.
"…Tai said it was because Ellie got mad at her … she'll be in Stony River Behavioral…all Miss P's fault…can't believe still has a job."
They nearly fell over themselves trying to get into the bathroom when they saw Ellie pass by. Ellie walked on as if she'd heard nothing, but her insides squirmed. She continued to the teacher's lounge and entered a bathroom stall as quickly as possible, her heart pounding in her ears, her stomach wadding into a tight knot.
Once inside, Ellie doubled over as everything started to click. She belatedly realized what Bristol must have been referring to earlier. Tai had blamed her suicide attempt on Ellie. He wasn't being vague; he was calling me a bully to my face! He thinks I bullied Tai into suicide! Everyone must have been thinking it, judging from the reactions she got when she walked into school. She imagined the gossip travelling throughout the school. A newspaper headline floated across her vision.
Suicide Attempted Due to Teacher's Bullying
The imaginary headline made her bolt upright again. An intense wave of anger washed over her as Ellie stormed out of the teacher's lounge and back to her classroom. She turned off the lights, then shut the door and locked it. She squatted down on the floor behind her desk.
The more she thought about it, the more it started to click. She had always recognized Tai's desperate plea for male attention. Her entire demeanor shouted, "I have an absent father and would do anything to feel loved." Tai was determined to get out of Stusa, dying to get a lucky break, and craving a friend who wouldn't judge her for her smuttiness.
While Ellie had been fighting with Julien about spending too much alone time with Tai, Tai had been holed up at the cabin, scratching at her wrists, swallowing a bottle of anti-anxiety pills...and blaming it on Ellie. Little drama queen; Ellie fiercely hoped she had to have had her stomach pumped and that it was just as unpleasant as it sounded.
As soon as she thought it, she felt guilty. She couldn't believe the anger that swelled inside her. It twisted and writhed like a snake, and it was threatening to rise up and take control if Ellie wasn't careful. She swallowed, struggling to push it back down.
What exactly had Tai and Julien been up to before Christmas? What could Tai gain from blaming a suicide attempt on Ellie? Was she trying to get attention? Sympathy? Revenge?
Another emotion took Ellie's thoughts hostage as she remembered her most recent hospital stay and the charm she'd uttered and eaten. Her anger swiftly turned to a very different feeling - victory! As soon as she named it, the feeling soared up from her belly as if it had been waiting there for her to release it. It travelled upwards and flooded her limbs and extremities with a moment of pure, unadulterated glee. She was thrilled that Tai would be out of her life for even longer.
The feeling of victory was much stronger than the anger had been. It washed over her in a hot, blinding wave that nearly caused Ellie to black out. She reached over and held onto the underside of the desk to keep from falling over onto the floor as the emotions surged through her in hot waves.
Her charm had worked! Jezebel had been banished.
As soon as she thought it, Ellie heard someone laugh. It was a distant, eerie, wicked laugh full of gloating and devoid of joy. Where was it coming from? Who was in her classroom with her? When she shot up from behind her desk to see who had come into the room, the laughter died instantly.
Ellie gasped aloud. The laughter had come from her.
◆◆◆
At lunch, Principal Danvers and the Reverintendent announced a last-minute lunch meeting. Ellie's stomach lurched as she walked down the hall. She had a bad feeling about the impromptu meeting. Were they going to fire her in front of the entire faculty?
Ellie had no doubt that the Reverintendent would believe his niece's accusations. When had anyone here ever given her the benefit of the doubt? Rumors had sprouted the very instant she had planted herself in Stusa. Today would be no different. It would be easy for everyone to blame the outsider, the newcomer, the stranger.
Ellie stepped into the school library and joined the rest of the faculty. She refused to give in to the shame threatening to creep over her. She had done nothing wrong; she would not allow herself to look guilty or embarrassed. Ellie held her head high and waited for the meeting to start.
She glanced at her watch, glad the girls had music lessons after school with Zibby. Mondays were music days, and Zibby took the girls to the chorus room after school to give them lessons on the school's piano. Zibby would drop the girls off at home after they were done. Ellie would be able to talk to Julien before they arrived.
"Folks, we have some serious news to share." Principal Danvers interrupted her thoughts as he began the meeting. "I'll let the Rev fill you in on the details." He stepped aside and the Reverintendent cleared his throat.
"I come to you with a heavy heart." He sniffled, but Ellie noticed there were no tears in his eyes. "My niece, Tai, has been an inpatient at Stony River Behavioral Health." His voice broke, but still there were no tears. "We've not shared the information for privacy concerns, but this past weekend, as soon as she was dismissed from the center – she may have attempted suicide."
The entire faculty gasped in unison. "Oh no," someone said. "How horrible for you," another voice echoed. Someone touched his arm. Miss Sarka reached over and patted his back.
"That's not the end of it, however," the Reverintendent held up his hands to get their attention, and he stepped back a pace or two. He looked them all in the eye, one by one.
"This requires your utmost professionalism. I do not want to hear the slightest mention of this outside this room. If students get wind of this, you will all deny it vehemently."
Finally, Ellie thought indignantly. He is going to squash these ridiculous rumors about me being the cause of all this! She straightened up a little more, waiting for the explanation that was sure to follow.
The Reverintendent continued, "There is no need to besmirch our family name as Taiteja fights for her mental well-being." He paused and glanced at his feet.
"A vicious rumor has surfaced," Ellie waited with closed eyes for the oncoming vindication, "that Tai was pregnant at the time of the attempt but that she has lost the baby due to the trauma." He glared at them. Ellie's mouth dropped open. "I have no idea why anyone would want to start yet another rumor about my niece – especially at a time like this, but I assure you that it is baseless."
The silence was absolute and awkward. The entire faculty looked away from him. Some turned their heads to the side; others stared at their shoes, and some found the sudden, intense need to pick their nails. The whole room simultaneously felt the need to look away.
The Reverintendent continued. "What is there to gain from such a hurtful rumor?" His question echoed in the silence. "Unless people are attacking me through my niece, I cannot see the motivation or the gain."
At that, his eyes did fill with tears. Afraid she'd roll her eyes at how he'd managed to turn his niece's crisis into a personal attack upon himself, Ellie looked down at her shoes, too.
After a moment, the Reverintendent regained his composure. "I'm sure you understand my position. Again, I do not want this rumor to take root. As her closest relative, I vehemently deny any veracity to the rumor and want it stopped immediately. I will not allow my niece's character, or mine, to be defamed. Is that clear?"
◆◆◆
Ellie spent the rest of the day in shock. The comments about her and Tai diminished as the day went on, but Ellie still felt the icy stares of her students and the sideways glances from the faculty. She went through the motions of teaching on autopilot. When the final bell sounded, she didn't straighten her room, collect papers, or stop by the office. She hefted her book bag over her shoulder and went straight to her car.
On her drive home, she wondered if Tai would be re-admitted to the behavioral health center. If so, perhaps the rumors would die down and Ellie could regain her sense of self. How much time did she have left without Tai?
She felt a moment's twinge of guilt. Could she be the cause of Tai's accident? Not in the way people expected, by bullying, but by reading the verse aloud in the hospital? Surely not – how could reciting a simple poem aloud force another person to attempt suicide? Ellie shook her head to clear her crazy ideas. She was just feeling anxious about everything that had gone wrong.
When Ellie pulled up the long gravel drive to her home, she got instant confirmation that her ill wishes towards Tai hadn't been the least bit effective, for there in the driveway sat Tai's car.
Her anger returned full force, and Ellie fumed. Had Tai's first stop after being released been to rush over to see Julien? Ellie's tires spat gravel as she roared up the driveway and saw Tai walking down it towards her car.
As Tai approached, she didn't make eye contact with Ellie. She simply climbed into her parked car and sat there partially blocking the driveway. Ellie spun past her, slammed the car into park, slung her heavy school bag over her shoulder, and stomped up the steps to confront Julien who stood on the front porch.
He interrupted her with a touch on the shoulder. "Oh, ma petite." He breathed out in relief. "I knew you would get here quickly." He wrapped his arms around her and gave a quick squeeze. "Tai has been worried sick. I thought maybe you could talk to her to calm her down."
Ellie's car keys slipped out of her hands and fell to the floor.
"What?" She sputtered. "You want me to console Tai? What on earth does she have to be upset about? Guilty conscience?" Ellie spun around facing away from Julien, running both hands through her hair. "What is she even doing here? I thought she was admitted into the behavioral health center."
"Non, ma vie." He sighed. "Think for a moment. Her character has been attacked in this fiasco. She wants a chance to explain her innocence to you." He looked into Ellie's eyes. "She cares about what you think of her."
Ellie's hands dropped to her side, and she turned back to Julien. She groaned. "I am sick of this!" She bent over to pick up her keys, and the red and white cookbook fell out of her book bag. She grabbed it and shoved it back inside.
"Just hear her side of the story, ma chère." Julien helped her pick up all the other contents that had fallen onto the porch. "You know what it is like to be falsely accused. Give her the opportunity that you never got – a chance to explain herself. It will be as good for you as it is for her."
Fine! Ellie thought. I'll talk to the little slut. I'll get rid of her so that we can try to fix our glaringly broken marriage.
"Fine," she said it aloud this time. "I'll do it." Ellie rolled her eyes.
"Perfect. I knew you'd see reason. She is waiting there in her car." Julien breezed his way back inside the house.
Ellie halted. The nerve! For him to insinuate that she was being unreasonable, on top of wanting Ellie to go soothe the enemy, was too much. And Tai? She was still parked in the driveway, waiting, because she knew Julien would convince Ellie to talk to her. Ellie didn't know whom she was angrier with – Tai or Julien.
She took a deep breath to quell her rising anger and turned around. Sure enough, Tai's car was still parked at the very end of their long driveway. Ellie stomped down the gravel drive, the sound of the crunching beneath her feet giving her momentary satisfaction. If only she could crush Tai as easily.
Ellie yanked open the door to Tai's car and sat in the passenger seat. "We need to talk." She turned sideways to face Tai. When Tai didn't respond, or make eye contact,
Ellie waited. Finally, Ellie realized Tai wasn't about to apologize or explain herself, so she started a one-sided conversation.
"Julien says you're here to explain yourself, but since you're not talking – I will." Ellie took a long, slow breath. "You are a beautiful young woman trying to find yourself. You're only seventeen; you have plenty of time left to figure it out. I'll give you a piece of unsolicited advice. Start with friends your own age. Hanging around a forty-year-old with a wife and children isn't the way." She paused.
Tai turned her face away from Ellie to look out the driver's window. Huh. I struck a chord there. She feels embarrassed. Ellie decided to close the conversation as quickly as possible.
"Tai, I don't usually talk about my personal life with students, but I'm going to tell you something. Julien and I are having a hard time. Moving here has been difficult, and we need to work on our problems without any interference." She waited a beat. "And I don't think you came here to explain yourself. I think you feel guilty, and you want me to say everything is okay and that we're all friends."
Ellie swallowed. "I'm not going to say that, though. I'm going to protect my family and my marriage." She put one leg out of the car and then turned back to say, "By the way, Julien doesn't require your assistance anymore. I'm sure you'll find another job and another family to latch onto; it just won't be ours."
Ellie finished getting out of the car. She leaned over, shut the door, and said, "Goodbye, Tai." She walked back up the long gravel drive without a glance back. She felt confident that she had done the right thing by firing Tai without telling Julien, but anger still simmered underneath her calm exterior.
Now that she'd dismissed Tai, the next step was to confront Julien. Her mind raced. Tai must have come directly from the hospital to see Julien. That didn't make sense, though. Wouldn't the Reverintendent had to have signed her out?
Crucible Crisis Page 25