by J Q Anderson
“If you wanted to know, you should’ve asked me,” I murmured. An awkward silence went by. I finished my drink.
“So you and Panty Hose Boy. It didn’t work out?”
“Panty Hose Boy?”
He smiled sardonically. “It suits him. So, what happened? Please tell me he sucks at sex—it would make my day.” His tone was humorous, but I still saw the pain in his eyes.
“Why do you want to know.”
He roughed an anxious hand over his jaw. “I just want to know. I know I have no right to ask you.”
“You don’t.” I let the seconds pass, debating if telling him was a good idea. He didn’t look away, his intense gaze waiting.
I sighed. “We were only together once.”
A flash of hurt crossed his eyes, and he nodded. “Just once?”
“Yes, okay? Now drop it. I’m not discussing this with you.”
“Why just once?”
“Sebastián!”
“I won’t ask again, I promise. Why just once?”
“Because he wasn’t you, okay? Now drop it.”
His expression softened. “Okay. I’m sorry. It was eating me up. I know you said it was a show for the papers, but from where I sat, it looked very convincing. I needed to know.”
“And now you know. It’s in the past.”
He interlaced his fingers with mine, and we both watched our hands fusing together. I swallowed the lump in my throat. What was this? Where did we go from here? Maybe it was just too late. Too much had happened. We were strangers now.
“Dance with me,” he said, tugging on my hand. “Please.”
I followed him in a sort of trance, to a quiet spot by the window, away from the party. For the first time in months, I felt out of my depth. I had sworn nobody would ever put me through what he had again. I wouldn’t allow it. His arms wrapped around my waist, and all at once, the memories of the past thrashed in my mind. Dread filled me and I thought of Juliet. I felt her loneliness. Sebastián’s world and mine would never mix. I inhaled him and pressed my face to the lapels of his tux, relishing in that fleeting moment that would soon become a new wound. Every second I spent in his arms pushed the knife deeper, and I knew the new memories would rip me apart later. I took a long, deep breath as my throat swelled painfully. I needed to go.
“I’ve left my family’s businesses,” he said, as if he’d heard my thought, but in my foggy mind, the words barely registered. He took my face in his hands so I would look at him. “All of them,” he said. “Except for my studio. I’ve finally cut all business ties with my father.”
I blinked. “What?”
“It took a while. It wasn’t just about a separation from my father’s businesses. It was complicated, lots of interests at stake. You can’t simply walk away from the Families. But it’s done.”
I frowned. “You gave it all up? Seriously?”
“It cost me every penny I had.” He gave a small shrug. “But my studio is all I need…That, and you.”
My chest tightened, the walls around my heart thickening protectively. I opened my mouth and closed it. It wasn’t this simple. It couldn’t be.
“I’ve missed you,” he said, so close I could almost taste him. “So damn much.” His mouth found mine, and everything south of my navel coiled. His lips were soft, laced with vodka and mint. His arms tightened around my back, bringing me closer. My emotions thrashed through my chest like a tornado. When we broke away, we were both breathing hard.
“Why are you here, Sebastián?”
“I’m here for you.”
“It’s been too long,” I said, fighting the tears. “And it’s been hard, but I’m finally okay.”
“Camila,” he said, taking my face in his hands. “A single moment hasn’t gone by when I stop thinking about you. I’ve never lost hope.”
A stray tear rolled down my cheek, and his thumb wiped it.
“My beautiful, crazy girl. I’ve never stopped loving you.”
I gripped his hair at the nape and kissed him hard, and in that moment, the past faded. Was this my revenge? Having him one more time? Whatever it was, I didn’t care. I wanted this. Him. The rest could wait.
We took a cab to his hotel, a quaint boutique remodel a few blocks from Central Park. I wondered idly if he had chosen that location to be close to where I worked.
Inside, the building was quiet, the faint sounds of the city distant. He led me to an old elevator that looked like an antique birdcage. As soon as he slid shut the door, I gripped the lapels of his tux and kissed him, ravaging his mouth. His arms closed around me and lifted me, pressing me tightly against him while his tongue explored my mouth. I tasted the urgency on his lips, the longing, and I was sure he tasted mine. I was out of breath but couldn’t break for air. I didn’t want to let go. I was afraid that if I blinked, it would all vanish. I would wake up back in my room and throw a pillow at my roommate, Julia, for snoring and tearing me from this incredible dream.
He pinned me against the elevator wall, the ping of the passing floors muffled by our desperate breaths, the sound of lips crushing.
“God, I want you,” he groaned against my jaw. The elevator finally came to a stop, and he opened the door behind him without breaking away from my mouth.
In his room, I took off my coat and draped it over the back of a chair. His lips curved, amused, as he undid his tie. Facing him, I pulled off the spaghetti straps of my dress: first one, then the other. The silky fabric slid down, pooling around my feet. Sebastián’s eyes traveled slowly down my body as if he were memorizing every inch of me.
“Holy shit.” He shook his head slightly. “Do you have any idea how sexy you are? You’re even more beautiful than in my dreams.”
I helped him unbutton his shirt and kissed the rippled muscles of his chest. He smelled like heaven, Ralph Lauren, home. He clasped my chin and kissed me hard while his other hand moved to my ass and lifted me. I had to hold on to his shoulders and wrap my legs around him. The skin-to-skin contact unleashed a chemical frenzy inside me, my dormant hormones couldn’t keep up.
I clenched his hair between my fingers, devoured him, our teeth clinking together in desperation. We wanted everything at once. He threw me back on the bed, and I crawled backward, my eyes trained on him, my mouth half open while my chest heaved up and down with panting breaths. He stood at the foot of the bed, a six-foot-five Adonis. He was hard, and his boxers did nothing to hide it. He watched me with hooded eyes, and I bit my bottom lip, admiring him. My insides ached with need. His open shirt fell to the ground, unveiling a pale line that followed his ribs from the center of his chest to the back, disappearing under his arm. I inhaled, bringing the tips of my fingers to my lips as I winced. He gave me a sideways smile, assessing my reaction. Our eyes met and I smiled back at him. Somehow that scar made him more beautiful. It marked the new man he now was, a self-made man who went after what he wanted.
Without taking his eyes off mine, he finished undressing. Climbing onto the bed, he crawled over to me, sauntering like a predator about to devour his prey. My breath accelerated, desire soaking my panties. Dear God. This was happening.
His fingers grazed my leg up to my knee while both my palms splayed against his sides, sliding up. My fingers met the rough surface of the scar, tracing it.
“Does it hurt?” I said against his mouth.
“No. It’s just ugly.” He smiled.
“It’s not. It’s beautiful.” I pressed my hands against his chest to take a better look. Rolling him over, I sat astride him, examining the scar as the tips of my fingers followed it. Sliding down, I pressed my lips against it, tracing kisses along the slightly rougher line of patched skin. I felt powerful, in control. God, he was beautiful. His chest heaved up and down in broken breaths while my mouth and my tongue traced this new part of him, a new part I had already fallen in love with. Then his fingers tangled in my hair and brought my mouth to his. I melted in his hands.
He rolled me over and his knees separat
ed my legs. He kissed my neck sensually, moving down to my breasts, then down to my stomach, trailing the familiar path. My skin combusted. Closing my eyes, I threw my head back, savoring the sensation of his hot lips against my navel. His thumbs hooked on my panties and pulled them down, his breath mixing with the warmth between my thighs. I clenched my teeth, watching him through squinted eyes.
“God, how I’ve missed you,” he said, kissing the most intimate part of me. I bit my lip till I tasted sweet rust. His tongue circled around, teasing my clit. I lay back and clenched the sheet at my sides, moaning while my body turned to melted iron with a mind-blowing orgasm.
I groaned and he smiled, his breath brushing my wetness, teasing my control. He lifted his head to look at me. His eyes were the color of steel, his eyelashes dark and endless, his expression almost boyish. Placing his palms on each side of me, he pulled himself up, the rippled muscles of his chest sliding over me, pinning me down against the mattress. I welcomed his weight, almost smothering me, and caressed his hair, smiling at him.
“My turn to be on top,” I said. He raised a curious eyebrow, then slid his arm underneath me, and with one move, sat up, bringing me with him. I hugged his back with my legs, squeezing him, my arms loose around his neck. His cock was hot against my thigh. I wanted him so much, desire was now an ache deep in my belly. I felt powerful. I loved letting my body surrender to Sebastián, but it felt good to take control.
“You’re mine now,” I said.
He smiled seductively. “At your service.”
I readjusted so he would slide into me, and then I lowered myself slowly, so slowly it was torture, but I made myself wait, savor it. His breath was heavy and hot against my neck as he struggled with his own control. My mouth was slack and he kissed me, biting my bottom lip between his teeth. I let myself sink so his whole length was inside me, filling me completely while I moaned out loud, my skin sizzling, my blood singing. His hands gripped my waist, and we danced to a slow rhythm, sliding up and down. I panted against his face, our foreheads pressed together. We didn’t kiss, we both relished the moment, it was too intense. I moved faster, digging my nails into his shoulders, our bodies slick with sweat and sex. I closed my eyes as the heat expanded inside me, the tension coiling, building.
“Sebastián. God…” I exploded as I came hard around him, a long, blinding flash of light that left me breathless. His pelvis slammed against me, and he groaned, gripping me hard as he buried himself deeply inside me, riding the spasms of his orgasm.
My hands made their way to his hair, raking it back, and I finally kissed him. There was no desperation; it was soft, gentle. My mouth tasted like his and his like mine. Our tongues played, caressed. It was soothed, patient. It was love.
He rolled me down onto the bed and lay beside me. Our hands found each other. Our fingers tangled. The minutes passed in silence, our slowing breaths the only sounds filling the room.
“I want to feel like this every day,” I said. “Even if this is just a dream.”
He turned to look at me. “It’s not a dream.”
I propped myself on my elbow, letting out a long breath. He brushed a loose strand of hair off my forehead.
“What’s wrong?” he said softly.
I shook my head, searching for the right words. “It’s just… seeing you here...” I sat up. “Forget my French, but it’s a major mindfuck. You still have a hold on me. I don’t know what this means or why you’re here.”
“I told you, I’m here for you. I love you, Camila.” He smiled shyly. “My heart is still yours if you want it.”
I shook my head, appeasing my racing pulse as I summoned all my strength.
“I’m not going back to Buenos Aires with you, Sebastián. I’m not that girl anymore. There was a time when I would have done anything to be with you. Anything. But letting you go… coming here... It changed the way I see some things. My life is here now, and I—”
He pressed his fingers against my lips. “I wouldn’t ask you to change one thing for me. I knew you loved me when you left Buenos Aires. What we had was real. And as hard as it must have been for you, you did it. You left it all behind and came here. I had a lot of time to think about things when I was in the hospital. My own life, what I wanted.” He propped up on his elbow. “It was your strength, the courage to follow your dreams, that inspired me to finally go after mine. I want to be with you, Camila. If this is where you are, then this is where I want to be too. I love you.”
“You would leave everything behind and move here. For me?” I said incredulously.
“Yes,” he said without hesitation. He leaned over, and his lips brushed mine gently. I let out a stuttering breath.
“But your studio, all your clients are in Buenos Aires.”
“We can make it work.” He pulled away to look at me, his hand stroking my cheek. “Do you still love me? Do you want me here?”
“I…Yes, but…”
He grinned. “Then I’m staying.”
Chapter 48
That week we hunted the city for an apartment. After seeing over a dozen overpriced tiny places with no view, we settled on a month-to-month rental on the second floor of an old building in Little Italy. The apartment was no more than a small studio, and the rent was scandalous, but it had a window to the street and lots of light, and it was all we could afford. Life in Manhattan was beyond expensive, and after covering a full rent, my salary wouldn’t allow for extravagances. But I didn’t care about any of it. It was our new chance at a life together.
“Kind of feels like home, doesn’t it?” I said to Sebastián as we ate sandwiches at the scanty kitchen bar of our apartment. I leaned over and kissed him. “Thank you for doing this. It means so much to me.”
“It will be an adventure,” he said.
“I’d say…” I picked at the crust of a ham and cheese that was a sad emulation of Marcél’s version. “Going from an estate in San Isidro and your own studio in Puerto Madero to a one bedroom in a shabby part of town.”
“Are you trying to talk me out of it?”
“No! Of course not. But I know that this ‘adventure’ comes at a high price for you.”
He leaned over and kissed me. “Stop worrying. We’re okay.”
“Are we? Your clients must want you there.”
“Cami, stop. It’s my decision to be here. Can you just tell me I’m awesome and go with it?”
“You’re awesome,” I said. “I’ll go with it.”
“That’s better.” He kissed my forehead and moved to clear the dishes.
“Speaking of Buenos Aires and your connections…There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while.”
“What’s that?” he said from the kitchen sink.
“Do you remember my dad’s hospice project? The one the mayor was threatening to close?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, this was over a year ago, but the mayor changed his mind overnight and decided to completely fund the project.”
“That’s great,” he said without looking at me as he filled the sink with water.
“Sebastián…did you have anything to do with that?”
He shook his head. “Your dad asked me not to get involved, remember?”
“Look at me,” I said. He turned to me and I searched his face, but his expression gave nothing away. “I know it was you.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. And if your dad asks you, you tell him that.”
“I will.” I smirked. “But off the record, thank you.”
He glanced over at me, suppressing a smile.
I watched him from my seat as he rinsed the last of the dishes and I couldn’t help a smile. Back in Buenos Aires, I had never seen him do domestic chores. There would be no more Marcél or five-star lounges now, no fancy cars or expensive restaurants, or people opening the doors for him because they knew who he was. Here, there wouldn’t be privileges of any kind. Period. Just a studio apartment with no AC and a hefty re
nt. All for a girl who could only offer to love him back with her whole heart.
One morning, after going on an early run, I quietly snuck back into the apartment so I wouldn’t wake him. But as I closed the door behind me, I stilled at Sebastián’s voice coming from the bathroom. Without making a noise, I sharpened my hearing and stepped closer. The door was ajar and Sebastián was shaving. He had the phone on speaker, and the other voice was distinctively Julián’s. They were arguing.
“I need you here. There’s a shit pile a mile high and all the other architects are up to their neck in projects.”
“I can be there in a few days. We’ll sort it out.”
“Give me a goddamn date, Sebastián.”
“I don’t have a date. I’ll let you know once I have my flight.”
“For fuck’s sake, man. How in the hell is this going to work for you? You’ve spent every last penny you had on this shit with the Families. Your father’s still pissed that you’re gone. He wants to know what the hell you’re doing there.”
“What I do is nobody’s goddamn business,” Sebastián growled.
“Bullshit. You know how things work. You’re a fucking Palacios. You don’t just walk out from all that. No one does.”
“Well, I did. It’s over.”
“Your name is still tied to every transaction that goes through the docks.”
“Every transaction, huh?”
“It was the only way your father could assure the Families that you won’t leak anything to the police or the press.”
“I wouldn’t do that. My father knows it.”
“Well, nobody gives a fuck. The only thing that matters is that you vanished. That makes our clients nervous. So cut me some slack and show your face sometime soon.”
A pause followed. With my heart in my throat, I hurried back to the front door, opening and closing it loudly.
“I’m back. You up?” I called.
“Morning,” he said, stepping out from the bathroom and wiping his freshly shaven face with a towel.