by Dawn Brower
“Please have a seat and I’ll pour you both some tea. Excuse my son’s rudeness,” Lady Manchester said. Hannah sat on a nearby chaise and her mother sat beside her. “He has an unruly nature that nothing seems to tame. I do hope he curbs it before he throws himself into this war England’s found itself involved in.”
Hannah frowned. He was going to war? Her heart skipped a beat—no several beats—before she was able to calm herself down. The idea of him going into danger terrified her. He should stay in England where it was safe.
“I hadn’t realized he purchased a commission,” her mother said to Lady Manchester. “You didn’t mention that in your last correspondence.”
Lady Manchester sighed. “He informed us today at the morning meal. He’s been planning it for some time and only held off until now because of the upcoming wedding. He leaves the day after the ceremony. My heart can only take so much stress and that boy will be the death of me one day.”
Lady Lakeville lifted her hand to her chest. “Oh you poor dear…”
“I can’t imagine,” Hannah’s mother said sympathetically. “If I had a son I’d be terrified.”
War was on everyone’s mind, but it didn’t cross Hannah’s. What happened in the world around her had always taken a second seat to her books. She traveled by reading pages of masterful writing. Those places were her sanctuary when nothing else lived up to her expectations. She’d been instantly infatuated with Lord Garrick, but she didn’t really know him. That didn’t mean she wanted him to go off to war. What if he died? Suddenly the war seemed all too real. Lord Garrick was a living breathing person of her personal acquaintance now. It was hard to ignore something when it was thrust in front of you. In a perfect world they’d have the opportunity to learn more about each other. This war would prevent that and possibly much worse. Hannah had a reason to take notice now and she wasn’t likely to be so blasé about it in the future. A world without men such as Lord Garrick in it would be a travesty.
After a short visit Lady Manchester had the head housekeeper show them to their chambers. Hannah was grateful for it. Exhaustion was starting to set in and she wanted to rest before she was undone from traveling. Maybe she would learn how to work her tongue the next time she saw Lord Garrick. If she could manage it she wanted to ask him what made him decide to break his mother’s heart and run off to war.
A Fortnight later
Lord Garrick Edwards walked through the castle committing it to memory. In a short time he’d walk away from it and not look back. In the morning his brother was saying his vows. He’d start a family and they would no longer need the spare. The family line would be grounded in his brother’s children and Garrick wouldn’t have to look back. He would finally have the freedom he craved for a long time. He would be one and twenty in a few short months and he wanted to explore the world. Unfortunately with his country at war with France that was nearly impossible to do. Napoleon had plans to take over the very world he craved to see. So he’d do his duty and fight for the freedom’s Napoleon hoped to take away from so many. The man was a tyrant and must be squashed. So without telling his mother or his brother he’d purchased a commission.
He stopped at the library and entered. Reading hadn’t been one of his favorite past times, but perhaps a good book would help him. He was on edge and riding hadn’t help calm him like it usually did. Garrick stopped short when he caught the sight of familiar dark brown curls. Her gaze was focused on whatever she was reading. Honey flecks sparkled in her brown eyes and her bottom lip was plumped out. Miss Hannah Knight looked entirely kissable and he was the worst sort of cad for thinking so.
He moved to leave her in peace but she glanced up as he was turning to leave. Her gaze locked with his and he couldn’t leave her if he wanted to. His breath was knocked out of his lungs and he fought to breathe. She was a pretty girl but right in that moment she was beautiful and oh so alive.
“I didn’t mean to disturb you,” he said.
“You didn’t,” she mumbled brushing a stray lock of hair back and shifting her gaze away from him.
Why did she always do that? Did he scare her? She was undeniably young and perhaps she hadn’t had much time out in society yet. What made her so shy?
“What are you reading?”
She shrugged. “Nothing of import…”
He lifted his lips into a smile. “It must be interesting to have you so enthralled. Let me see it.” Garrick snatched the book from her hands and read the spine. “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.” He lifted a brow. “Why would you hide that you’re reading this?” Some believed it to be romantic drivel, but it was harmless reading material.
She shrugged. “Some don’t understand why I love to read.”
He didn’t comprehend why. There was nothing wrong with a girl liking books. Garrick personally didn’t like them, but he still read one from time to time. The play by Shakespeare was actually one of his favorites. “Which character is your favorite?”
Miss Knight nibbled on her bottom lip. He found it utterly adorable. “I suppose I’m supposed to like Helena or Hermia—at the very least relate to them on some level since they are young females in love.”
He shrugged. “I don’t see how one has to do with the other. You’re entitled to like whatever character you like.” He winked. “As long as you explain to me why you like them. You’ve peaked my curiosity.”
“I like Puck,” she said sheepishly. “He is so fun and mischievous. I wish that I could be like him in some ways. Not once does he question if he should do something. He does it no matter the consequences. There is a certain bravery in that.” She shrugged. “Or stupidity. Either way it would be lovely to be carefree. He made mistakes but he owned them. In the end he’s the reason the two couples found the love they’d been searching for.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. She was smart and beautiful. It was such a lovely combination. “I rather admire the sprite myself,” he agreed. “He is witty and fun-loving.”
She smiled warmly at him. “People usually don’t like to talk about books with me. Thank you for being kind.”
He frowned. Kindness had nothing to do with it. Garrick handed the book back to her. She’d been quiet the entire time she’d been at Manchester Castle. This was the longest conversation he’d had with her. “If you didn’t hide behind books so much you might discover there is more of the world waiting for you.”
“I doubt it, my lord,” she said. “I’m not noteworthy enough. It’s all right. I’ve accepted that I’m meant to be a wallflower.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Garrick said and set the book on a nearby table. “What makes you think so low of yourself?”
Miss Hannah Knight was a lovely girl and it was a tragedy she believed herself forgettable. He wanted to do something for her so she’d think better of herself. Otherwise once she entered society they would trample all over her and leave her fragile ego even more shredded.
“I speak the truth,” she replied. “No one notices me. It’s rare that anyone even tries. Books are the best friends I’ve ever had.”
That was sad and now he had to do something to change her mine. It was decided, the only question was what. She was exquisite and she shouldn’t put herself into the role of wallflower yet.
“I can see you don’t know how to respond to that,” she said as she stood. “Don’t worry over me. I’m going to be fine I don’t need to marry to find happiness. It is perfectly all right to be the love of your own life. I don’t define myself by what others think of me.” The corner of her lip tilted upward. “Truly I like who I am.”
His mouth fell open with surprise. She was cheeky and he liked her the more he talked with her. “I’m sorry I won’t be here to see you come out in society, sprite.”
“You won’t miss much,” she said sheepishly and glanced up to meet his gaze. “I’ve been told you’re to go to war.”
He nodded. For the first time he almost regretted that decision. Garrick hadn’t been lying.
He was going to be sad not to be around for her come out. “I am. The day after my brother’s wedding.”
She nodded solemnly. “Duty is a hard burden to bear. I pray you return to us safely.”
Garrick wanted her to amend that statement. He wanted to return to her safely. She was an enigma he wanted to solve, and at the same time hoped to never truly figure out. Something in her called to him and he couldn’t put his finger on it. She started to nibble on her bottom lip again. He had to kiss her. It was probably wrong but one little taste wouldn’t hurt.
He leaned downed and pressed his lips to her. A spark lit through him at the touch. She gasped and her breath mingled with his. Perfect—she was everything he never thought he wanted for himself and he would not be able to claim. As much as he would like to he couldn’t make Miss Hannah Knight his. Garrick wasn’t the sort ladies married. He was too restless and had trouble settling down. Being shackled to him would only bring her misery. He’d never do that to her.
Garrick stepped back before he did something even more foolish. What was done wasn’t irreparable. They could walk away from each other, as no real damage had been done. At least none that could be seen by the naked eye—his heart would never be the same again.
“I shouldn’t have done that. Forgive me,” he said.
She brought her hand to her lips and nodded absentmindedly. “Of course.” Miss Knight glanced up at him and smiled. “Please excuse me, my lord. I must go prepare for dinner.”
With those words she brushed past him her scent filling him. He memorized it for the long nights to come. It was a memory that would haunt him for many years to come as much as he cherished it. Miss Hannah Knight would never be far from his thoughts again.
Chapter 1
Ten years later…
Hannah woke up with a start. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest. Something wasn’t right… She stared around her room and made note of everything. Nothing was out of place that she could see. The bed sheets were tangled around her legs. She pushed them away and leapt from the bed. Creaking floorboard echoed in the hallway indicating someone was nearby.
“Who’s there?” she called out.
Her bedroom door swung open and banged hard against the wall. A large figure filled the entrance. Hannah’s breathing became heavier and the pounding of her heart filled her eardrums. She glanced around her room for a weapon. Nothing stood out as useful. She was going to be murdered or worse… A large tome was sitting on a nearby table. With quick movements she grabbed it and swung it at her would-be attacker. He grunted when it hit him in the head and slumped to the floor.
“Gads, Hannah,” the man said. “I always knew that your infernal book addiction would be the death of some unwitting male, but I never thought it would be me.”
“John?” she said confused. “What are you doing in my chamber?”
“Your chamber?” He laughed. “This is my house now. Nothing in it is yours.”
That still didn’t give him the right to enter her rooms. Did it? Oh drat, it probably did. Why did her parents have to leave her alone with such a wretch in charge of her life? Their deaths had left a hole in her life in more ways than one. At least he wasn’t her guardian in truth. The solicitor handled her inheritance and approved what money she had access to until she reached her thirtieth year. Four more years and she could wipe her hands of her cousin.
She would kill for a candle to see better in the dark. John Witt, her cousin and the new Viscount Redding hadn’t thought it was economical for her to have one. He said he’d not waste any unnecessary funds on her. She was already too expensive to feed and asked the solicitor for more funds to feed her. The solicitor had replied with a stern letter and accounting of exactly how much it should be for Hannah’s upkeep. John hadn’t been happy about it and took it out on her in any way he could. Hence the lack of candle… Hannah walked across the room and drew the curtains wide to let light in from the moon. It surprised her to find out the sun was already beginning its rise in the sky. Trust John to wake her at the start of dawn.
She turned to him and lifted her chin. “Did you wish to speak to me about something to wake me so early?”
“Yes,” he rubbed his head. “Today is your last day you’ll reside in my house. Pack your bags and be gone by the midday meal.”
He mouth fell open in shock. How dare he… “But the solicitor already gave you my stipend for this quarter. How am I to live?”
“That isn’t my problem and thankfully neither are you. Don’t be in this house when I return or you’ll regret it.”
The awful, awful man—she hated him so much. Why couldn’t a decent man have inherited her father’s title? She had little choices and no idea where to go. Her pin money wouldn’t last her long and she had three more months until she the solicitor would release more funds. Everything she owned was in her room at Redding Manor. Anything of value had been stripped away when John took over. At least he had no right to her jewelry or clothing. She could sell some of it if she needed to.
“I only regret that we somehow share the same blood,” Hannah spat out. “You’re a rotten man and I’m glad I’ll never have to see you again.”
“You bitch,” he said and slapped her face. “For that I want you gone before we break our fast. I’ll not waste any more food on the likes of you.” He sneered. “The world doesn’t need any more bluestocking wallflowers in it. No wonder you couldn’t find a husband.”
He spun on his heels and left the room. Hannah lifted her shaking hand and wiped her mouth. A drop of blood fell onto her fingertip. What had she done? Her mouth got her in trouble again. Time was of the essence and hers was running out fast. She pulled out a trunk and began to fill it with all her items. She folded her gowns, her extra chemise and undergarments. She had three day dresses and one evening gown. She didn’t entertain often and balls—no one invited her to them anymore. Her jewels and smaller items went in last. She left one of her day dresses out to wear. The last things she added to the trunk was a miniature of her parents and a stack of correspondence. Those were her most treasure items.
Hannah left her hair styled in a long plait down her back. There was no time to do it up properly. It would have to do until she figured out where she was going. She dressed quickly and then lugged her trunk to the top stairs. How was she ever going to manage to get it anywhere outside of the house? She stared down the stairs and chewed on her bottom lip. It seemed so impossible.
“Miss Hannah,” a deep voice filled her ears. “Whatever are you doing?”
Hannah turned to see the butler’s kind eyes. A lot of the staff had quit or been dismissed by John. The only original servant that remained was Grimly. “The new Viscount can’t be bothered with me. I’ve been given my marching orders.”
“That…” His face scrunched up and he whispered something under his breath. Hannah knew better than to ask what he’d said. “Where are you going?”
She shrugged. “I’m still trying to figure out how to take the trunk down the stairs on my own.”
“I’ll handle that for you. Let me order you a carriage too.”
Hannah smiled at him. “He won’t like that. You could lose your position here for disobeying his orders.”
She didn’t want to be responsible for Grimly losing his employment. He didn’t have any place to go and a servant wouldn’t be hired in another household without a letter of recommendation. Society was cruel and ignored those that needed help the most.
“The only reason I’ve stayed this long was to look out for you,” he said. “If you’re leaving so am I. Besides you’ll need someone with you wherever you’re going.”
Hannah smiled sadly. “You’re a dear, but you know I can’t pay you. I don’t even know where I’m going.”
An idea formed in her mind as she said it. There was one place she could go. Lady Manchester would help her if she went to the castle. She was her goddaughter after all. Why hadn’t she thought of it sooner.
“I wonder
if John would miss his carriage for a few days…”
Grimly’s lips tilted upward. “Do you care if he does?”
She shrugged. “Not particularly. Let’s take one of the unmarked ones. I wouldn’t want to take the one with the family crest on it and have it easier for him to hunt us down.”
The butler grabbed her trunk and hefted it over his shoulder. “Where are we going?”
“The wilds of Kent,” she said happily. The last time she’d been there was ten years ago and it had been one of the happiest times of her life. Unfortunately the person who had made it so wonderful wasn’t there anymore, but that didn’t matter. It was her last hope and she’d take it.
Garrick rubbed his thigh with his hand and grimaced in paid. The saber that had sliced through had left its mark and the muscles still burned from time to time. Especially when he rode more than he should… The horse he was on snorted and shook his head. “Yeah I know,” he replied absentmindedly. “I’m tired of this journey too.”
They were close to his ancestral home. He wasn’t especially looking forward to returning. He’d left on a happier note, and was returning on a miserable one. When he’d purchased his commission he didn’t think he’d ever have to take up the responsibilities of the earldom. His brother should have had at least one son in the last decade. Had he? No, of course not. Then the bastard had to go and die on him too. He still couldn’t believe it. Nathaniel was dead and buried. By the time the letter had tracked him down it had been six months and it had taken another half a year for him to return. He’d been injured in battle and had to have time to heal. His mother had written again after that upbraiding him for his tardiness in taking up his responsibilities. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to listening to that same tirade in person.
Garrick kicked the horse’s side with the heel of his foot and the horse started to trot again. A few more miles and he’d be home again. Then he’d have more than he liked to deal with. His body was weary but not as much as his soul was. War had buried its way deep inside of him and hardened him in ways he’d never thought possible.