‘He’s nothing like Daniel,’ I point out.
‘Yeah, but Daniel wasn’t your type,’ she reminds me. ‘Tall, dark hair, blue eyes, abs for days! And those dimples – I know you like those dimples.’
‘Dimples are technically just a genetic defect, you know,’ I tell her, changing the subject with a fact. ‘Amazing, really, that we find them attractive.’
‘Hmm,’ is all she has to say about that. ‘So do you and Dimples have a good holiday planned together?’
‘Sort of,’ I reply. ‘Although now you’re here, I want to spend time with you.’
‘Lila, you spend so much time with me,’ she points out. ‘I’ll be fine if you spend time with Freddie. I’ve got my eye on a few leads.’
‘Promise me they’re single leads,’ I say.
I wiggle uncomfortably in my seat and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m worried about Ali, or because of my dress.
‘I’m sure you used to be more fun,’ she replies through a pout.
Ali being here on Valentine Island is something that never should have happened. My man-loving, head-turning friend, here, where all the men are supposedly happy – and Ali says they’re always happy, until they meet her – no, no, no. She’s a going to be a real fly in the ointment, I can tell.
Normally I would tell her not to shag where she eats – literally, there are restaurants in London we can never go back to – but it’s preferable to her flirting with the married men, even if she’s only doing it for sport.
‘Oh, he’s on the hook already, the poor boy,’ she says, glancing over at the bar.
‘How old do you think he is?’ I ask curiously.
‘Hmm, maybe twenty-five?’ she says.
‘Just a baby.’
‘Just the right age for me,’ she says. ‘The older ones don’t have any stamina, not any more.’
‘Age-appropriate men just aren’t what they used to be,’ I tease.
I look down at my drink, and think about Freddie. His porn star martinis really are something else; none of the ones made by the actual staff even come close. That’s Freddie, though, multi-talented. Listen to me, talking about him as if I know him.
I decided to have pasta tonight, seeing as I had pizza last night, and I didn’t want to seem too predictable – I am, after all, drinking the exact same drinks and eating the same starter.
After a deliciously creamy spaghetti carbonara – which by some miracle I didn’t spill down my dress – I thought I might be too full for dessert, but Ali talked me into sharing cannoli with her. I’ve had cannoli back home, but nothing compares to having it in Italy; there’s just something authentic about it. Sweet ricotta cheese in a crisp pastry shell – Ali suggested we eat an end each, like Lady and the Tramp, purely for theatrics, she reassured me. I told her that I was pretty sure the barman was firmly convinced we were a couple – purely because we’re on holiday, in the most romantic place on earth, together.
After a few more cocktails we decide to make our way home, back up the hill, which Ali isn’t happy about.
‘This is cardio,’ she moans. ‘You’re tricking me into doing cardio on holiday.’
‘We need it,’ I point out. ‘After everything we just ate.’
‘And drank,’ Ali adds, hiccupping right on cue.
We stop to take a breath at the viewing point that looks out over the populated part of the island. All the buildings – the villas, restaurants and shops –sit at different levels, which looks impossibly cute. You can just about make out the beach, down at the bottom. I haven’t been yet, but tonight it looks alive with lights and people and music. I can hear fun in the air and that’s where it’s coming from.
‘We’ll have to check that out tomorrow,’ I suggest.
‘You not seeing Freddie tomorrow?’ she says flirtatiously.
‘You’re obsessed with him,’ I reply. ‘Why don’t the three of us go? Then you can spend more time with him.’
‘OK, sure,’ she replies. ‘We’ll spend the day with him, so I can spend more time with him.’
I don’t think my friend believes that I’m not interested in him, but I’m not. He’s an incredible-looking man with a big heart, but we are apples and oranges. Freddie is like a Ferrari – a beautiful car, but could I drive in it to the Co-op for milk? Would I be happy leaving it parked, unattended, or would I constantly be worried someone was going to bump it or steal it? And then there’s the fact that I couldn’t afford a Ferrari…
‘Right, get me to bed,’ Ali insists.
Finally outside the villa, I can just about make out two people sitting on the leafy, green veranda. I watch as they clink their wine glasses together. They haven’t noticed us, and Ali hasn’t noticed them. If I could think of a way to get inside, without them seeing, or without Ali seeing them…
‘Ali,’ Eva squeaks excitedly. She hurries to her feet, to greet Ali with a hug.
‘Save it, hoe-bag,’ Ali replies. ‘No girl who disrespects Girl Code is a friend of mine. Did you really think we could still be friends?’
Eva’s bottom lip pokes out like a little kid whose parents just told her off.
Girl Code might sound like a dumb teenage-girl thing, and maybe it is, but I don’t mind it. On the surface, it seems like a silly, childish term, but I’m all for anything that makes women be a little kinder to each other. Seriously, we’re up against enough, we can’t go turning on each other – especially not for a man. So, sure, I’ll adhere to Girl Code, if it makes the world a better place. And anyway, who wants a friend who could steal their man? Freddie is only my pretend boyfriend, and Ali won’t look twice at him. That’s a friend – that’s a woman.
‘What’s she doing here?’ Daniel asks about Ali.
‘What’s she doing here?’ she repeats, mocking his Yorkshire accent. ‘What’s she doing here?’
She nods towards Eva.
‘Ali is here on holiday,’ I tell him. ‘She’s staying in the hotel.’
It suddenly occurs to me that saying she’s staying with me will blow the cover right off my Freddie story, exposing the lie I didn’t tell in the first place. More than not wanting to look like a liar, the security of the Freddie tale gives me a confidence I wouldn’t have, if I were just here by myself, with the two of them loved-up next door.
‘I so want the three of us to be able to hang out again, like we used to,’ Eva says. ‘Now that things are all out in the open, can’t we be mature and figure it all out?’
‘We didn’t want to hang out with you before,’ Ali snaps.
Ali wouldn’t normally be so mean, and it’s absolutely not true that we didn’t want to hang out with her, we just didn’t see all that much of her because we weren’t that close – oh, and because she was banging my fiancé, I’d imagine.
It’s hard, seeing them both here together, seeming so in love, having a lovely holiday, all the while knowing what they’ve done and who they have hurt. If someone had done this to Ali I’d be furious too, and there’s no way I’d stay friends with someone who could do that either. If someone is willing to steal a man from someone else, how do you know they won’t do it again?
‘Did you pull some stranger on the plane too, then?’ he asks Ali angrily.
‘Not this time,’ she claps back.
‘Ali is seeing one of the barmen here,’ I say.
‘Since before you arrived?’ Eva asks. ‘How did you meet him?’
‘I stole him off my friend,’ Ali says. I can see the anger consuming her, puffing up her chest beyond anything a Czech surgeon could achieve.
‘She met him on Tinder,’ I say. ‘She likes to set her location to nice places, to see who she can meet.’
This is absolutely true, generally. It’s just not true this time.
‘I can’t believe the nerve of you,’ Ali tells Daniel, inching towards him. His body stiffens with fear. I feel as if he’s just remembered who Ali is. ‘Didn’t I tell you at the wedding, to stay the hell away from my friend?’
‘Yes,’ she says, taking full ownership of the situation. ‘Then. And yet here you are.’
‘Ali, do you want to come in for a quick drink while Freddie is at the gym?’ I ask her as casually as I can. I’m certainly no actress.
I would love to watch her lay into them, tear them apart, obliterate them with her acid tongue – if not her talon-like nails – but I don’t want a scene. That’s the one thing I keep reminding myself: that no matter how much I want to scream at them until I lose my voice and slap and swear and punch and kick, I can’t, can I? I’d only regret embarrassing myself, or posting things online for everyone to see, giving them all the details. I always feel so sorry for people when they over-share online, because people just love other people’s drama, don’t they? These things are fascinating when they are happening to other people.
‘I’d love to,’ she says. ‘So long as it doesn’t hold up your shagathon with Freddie.’
‘Oh, he’ll go all night if I let him,’ I tell her as I unlock the door. ‘A quick drink won’t make a difference.’
Once the door is closed behind us, we fall about laughing.
‘It must feel so good, getting one over on him like this,’ Ali says.
‘It does and it doesn’t. It’s great to show him that I’ve moved on, and that I don’t care… but I haven’t moved on, and I do care.’
‘I get it,’ she says, hugging me tightly. ‘Hey, you want to mess with that barman some more? We could get in bed together, order some drinks, see if he brings them?’
‘I am not going to help you titillate the barman,’ I tell her. ‘You don’t even need to.’
‘Not now you’ve tangled me up in your web, saying I’m seeing him.’
‘You’re welcome,’ I tell her. ‘Now you have an excuse to pounce on him.’
‘I wasn’t planning on it before,’ she lies. ‘But now I’m doing you a favour…’
‘You won’t be moaning when he sweeps you off your feet.’
‘Oh, I will,’ she replies.
I smile. I’m so happy she’s here.
‘So, we’re going to the beach with Freddie in the morning?’
‘You want to?’ I reply.
‘Hmm, do I want to hang out with a movie star?’ she ponders out loud as she falls back onto the sofa. ‘Yep.’
‘Okay, then, we’ll do that.’
‘So long as I’m not intruding on your date.’
‘How many times do I have to say it?’ I sigh. ‘It’s absolutely not a date.’
20
Day 8
It’s hard to say if the water is blue or green – it’s both, depending on when and where you look. No matter what colour it appears, it glistens under the hot summer sunshine. It looks so inviting, like a warm, velvety blanket I want to wrap myself up in.
The beach on this side of the island is massive. At one end it is seemingly deserted and natural, with a stretch of near-white sand separating the sea from the forest. As you walk along the beach, it gradually transforms, eventually unveiling the more resort-looking side. There’s a large building, built into the side of the rocks, which I believe is filled with more restaurants and shops. Just down from there, practically on the sand, there’s a beach bar. Along with the large, well-stocked bar, there’s a large stage and a dance floor, which I think is where all the buzz was coming from last night.
No matter which part of the beach you opt for, it’s busy, with loved-up couples everywhere, sunbathing together looking as relaxed as they would in their own bed, or floating around in the sea holding hands, like a pair of sea otters.
All of the sunloungers are in pairs, but with me sitting with Freddie, and Ali being here alone, it means that we have a spare, entirely redundant seat, which we’ve covered in snacks and drinks.
It’s great having Ali here, if only because I felt comfortable asking her to rub sun cream into the hard-to-reach places on my back. I don’t think I would’ve dared to ask Freddie to do it, and I absolutely need it. Ali has talked me into wearing my bikini – I don’t think I would’ve done it without her pep talk. I keep draping an arm self-consciously across my midriff, but then I realise that I’ll tan with a big white arm mark across my stomach so I move it.
It’s a great vibe here, with people of all ages, shapes, nationalities and sexual orientations. It really does feel like a utopia for couples. If the world ended, and I had someone who cared about me, I could happily hole up here. Plus, with all the big beds and aphrodisiacs, it wouldn’t be long before everyone repopulated the world.
The three of us have been hanging out, enjoying the sunshine, eating and drinking as we listened to the live band playing in the beach bar. We’ve all been getting to know each other too, and by that I mean Ali has been asking Freddie a bunch of personal questions, and she’s been offering up a bunch of unsolicited ‘too much information’ in return.
It feels so wonderful lying here, with the warm sun on my skin, and beautiful music in my ears. And the smells! The sea, the smell of my coconut-scented sun cream – even the smell of the crisps we’re eating – they’re all part of the summer-holiday experience.
Everything is wonderful, until something casts a dark shadow over the day. Literally, even with my eyes closed, I can tell that the sun has disappeared all of a sudden. I open my eyes and see Daniel standing over me.
‘Hello,’ he says.
‘What?’ I ask, making no time for pleasantries with the man who ruined my life.
‘Can we ask a favour, please?’ he starts as Eva steps out from behind him, a cocktail in each hand. ‘Can we have that sunlounger? It’s the only available one on the whole beach, and we’ve got our drinks now – even if we can just use the table…’
I want to tell him to get lost – to go and sit in the sea, for all I care. But they don’t sound like the words of someone who isn’t bothered, do they? I’ll sound very bothered if I say that – or petty at the least. I’m trying to be the bigger person here, or at least seem it.
I glance at Ali. She lifts her sunglasses and narrows her eyes at me, telepathically imploring me to say no. Freddie, on the other hand, gives me an encouraging smile.
‘Sure,’ I reply. ‘Why not?’
‘It’s nice that we can all still hang out,’ Eva says.
If I’m being honest, I think she’s being more of a bimbo than a bitch. She’s always been a bit dim, and a complete lack of understanding of this situation only goes to prove it. If I were her, I’d be mortified, and if I saw the look on Ali’s face, I’d probably fear for my life. Perhaps she finds confidence in knowing me, knowing that I’d never physically hurt her – I’d definitely give Ali an alibi though.
‘Hey, Lila,’ Freddie says to snatch my attention.
I look over at him as he sits up on his sunlounger. He’s wearing a rather small pair of shorts, which have ridden up his legs, over his massive thighs. As he sits forward his rippling torso muscles look even more defined than usual. I move my eyes from his body to meet his gaze.
‘Sit with me,’ he says, patting the space between his legs. ‘Then Daniel and Eva can have a seat each.’
I stare at him for a moment. My God, he’s smart. By suggesting I cuddle up with him, not only is it going to drive Daniel crazy, but with two seats up for grabs, it means I won’t have to watch Daniel and Eva snuggle up together. So smart.
‘Okay,’ I say, trying to sound casual, rather than over the moon and slightly terrified.
I sit down on the edge of Freddie’s sunlounger. As I scoot closer to him, he swipes me up with one of his strong arms, placing me lying on my side between his legs, with my upper body rested on his – cuddled up to his.
Ali is watching like a hawk over her sunglasses. For her, I imagine this is happening in slow motion, with wah-wah pedal-heavy music playing in the background.
Freddie’s body is surprisingly comfortable, given how rock hard he app
ears to be from head to toe. His warm, smooth, coconut-scented skin feels glorious on my body. Between his tiny shorts and my itsy-bitsy bikini, almost every inch of our bodies is touching. He places one hand at the back of his head and plays with my hair with the other. If it weren’t already so hot out here, I’d be roasting.
‘Comfortable?’ he asks me.
I imagine he’s asking me if I’m comfortable with the show we’re putting on, rather than if I’m in a good position.
‘Very,’ I reply, which is the answer to both questions. My first thought, when I lay on top of him, was that I probably look like a walrus slumped down on top of an iceberg, but I feel so at home with Freddie, which I suppose just goes to show what a good actor he is. He’s almost got me convinced and I know it’s an act.
As Daniel and Eva get comfortable on their separate sunloungers, they both stare daggers at me. I understand why Daniel is doing it, but not Eva. I think she’s jealous because she obviously has a crush on Freddie. We might not be a real couple, but she doesn’t know that, and if she tries to steal this one from me as well… I suppose I could let her try, distract her with Freddie while I steal Daniel back. I’m annoyed at myself for even considering it. I do not want Daniel back… It’s just hard to shake off someone you’ve spent four years with.
Am I making him jealous to try and win him back, or just to annoy him? I’m not stupid… but, I don’t know… it’s hard, to throw away someone you’ve been with for so long. I’m angry now, and I don’t even want to look at him, but when the anger calms down, am I going to want him back? It’s easy to look at other people who take back cheating partners and say ‘wow, what a mug, I would never do that’ but when it happens to you…
‘Are you having a good time?’ Eva asks Freddie. Her entire body is pointing in our direction and you can tell she’s just bursting to talk to him. I can’t blame her. Still, I nuzzle into his chest, just to annoy her. I’m sorry, but dating, engaged, married or just plain faking it – she can’t steal every man I encounter from under me.
Honeymoon For One Page 13