by Edie Claire
His expression was extremely strange. He almost looked angry. But at the same time he seemed sad. Ri thought fast. “Does he still feel like a ‘little’ brother to you, even now that you’re both adults? Mei Lin is a year younger than me, but we were always the same size, and we pretty much always thought of ourselves as twins. Even if I had thought of her as a baby sister back then, I probably wouldn’t anymore. After all, she’s been the first one to be fully employed as a professional in her field. And she’ll be the first one to get married.”
Wolf’s color returned to normal, and his voice softened. “I think he’ll always feel like my kid brother, even when we’re old and gray.”
“That’s interesting. Do you feel like you helped raise him?”
Wolf’s gaze shot to Ri, who tried her best to look innocent. All kids helped raise younger siblings to some degree, didn’t they? Even when both parents were in the home? Never mind that she was pretty sure that wasn’t the case with Wolf and Bear. She watched, continuing to feign innocence, as he breathed in deeply and released a slow breath.
“I did raise him,” he said steadily, his eyes holding hers. “Me and my dad, anyway.” Then his gaze moved off into the trees. “Our mother died when I was six. Bear was only three.”
Ri made a split-second decision. “No, she didn’t,” she said quietly. “You were lying just then. I could tell. What happened to her, Wolf?”
His head whipped back around. He stared at her resentfully.
Too far.
Dammit!
“Never mind,” Ri said gently. She gave a casual shrug and kept her smile warm. “You don’t have to tell me anything.”
***
Wolf’s hand brushed against Ri’s as they strolled along the Ka'anapali boardwalk, and the urge he felt to curl his fingers around her own small, delicate ones surprised him. Fortunately, the splint prevented him from doing anything so colossally stupid, even accidentally.
Especially accidentally.
Everything disturbing that happened with Ri seemed to be happening accidentally. It was an accident that he was here, walking with her on a beach at sunset, to begin with. Why was he doing it? What had he been thinking in coming along with her at all?
Damned if he knew.
When Ri told him she enjoyed his company, there was a challenge in her voice that dared him to refuse her invitation, to come up with a good reason why they shouldn’t spend time together. And of course they were having fun, as he knew they would. He couldn’t remember enjoying any woman’s company as much as he enjoyed Ri’s… or for that matter, any man’s. She just seemed to get him. She enjoyed the same things, including the quiet. She knew when to talk and when to listen. She didn’t push.
Well, not usually. She’d come close to it earlier when she’d asked about his mother, but after she’d realized he didn’t want to go there, she’d backed off. He appreciated that. Something about that conversation still bugged him, but he didn’t want to think about that now. He wanted to think about Ri. He wanted to figure out why he couldn’t stop his splinted fingers from reflexively reaching out for hers.
He told himself it was because he wanted her. But as strong as his attraction might be, he couldn’t buy lust as the sole reason for such an odd impulse. He’d never been a hand-holder. Perhaps he was merely picking up on the fact that Ri would like it?
He did feel like he was getting to know her better. Starting to get her, too. She felt the same passion for the ocean that he felt for the earth. He couldn’t walk a new trail without looking down at the rocks, and she couldn’t be near a body of water without wanting to get her feet wet and check out the algae and the fish. Watching her kick off her sandals and frolic on the beach at Honolua Bay was a delight for more reasons than admiring the figure beneath her skintight yellow cami. There was an innate joy in Ri that made him feel joyful as well. He knew other people, other scientists, who were just as enthusiastic about the natural world and about their work. But the rest of them were always so loud about it. So overwhelming. Ri, like him, wasn’t a person who chattered just to fill the air. But nor was she uncommunicative. She had other ways of expressing her feelings.
Like now. The sun was beginning to set over the ocean, and she was looking up at him with those big brown doe eyes of hers as if she wanted to lure him into one of the nearby hammocks and make out like a couple of teenagers. Or perhaps he was projecting?
“Have you had fun this afternoon?” she asked, her low voice silky.
Wolf wondered if she knew how alluring that voice was. His instincts told him she did, but since she was the one who’d chosen “nothing,” perhaps she didn’t.
“Sure,” he answered noncommittally. He was good at that.
“I have, too,” she said with a more innocent smile. “Thanks for coming with me.”
Wolf was baffled again. As much progress as he felt he was making in getting to know Ri as a person, her actions toward him were still maddeningly obtuse. “Thanks for inviting me,” he said in return. What else could he say?
She glanced up from the stone-cobbled path on which they walked toward one of the towering resorts that contributed to the posh Ka'anapali lineup. Here along this sunbaked section of the western coast of Maui, hotel after gleaming hotel stood shoulder to shoulder, joined together by a long, paved walk that gave all their patrons shared access to the public beach as well as upscale restaurants and shops. Many of the resorts were giants of glass and steel, with meticulously manicured lawns and elaborate pools with bridges and waterfalls. “So how much you think a room in this place goes for per night?” she asked, looking at one of the swankier ones.
Wolf looked up with her. He shrugged. “I’d guess at least four hundred and some change.”
Ri made a face. “I don’t guess you’ll ever catch me staying here, then.”
Wolf chuckled. “Me neither. Not if I wind up with the Geological Service. But I’m perfectly happy with our own version of the Hilton. It’s even got an ocean view, on a clear day.”
Ri smiled. “Actually, I like our place fine, too. Even if it is a tiny bit farther from the water.” She looked back towards where the sun was setting, then her eyes scanned the beach. The sun was beginning its rapid descent and would drop below the horizon in a matter of minutes. “This is a nice walkway,” she muttered. “But I can’t believe how crowded it gets.”
Wolf nodded in agreement. They had been trying to walk side by side, but every few seconds they had to drop back to single file to let someone else pass. The path was only wide enough for three abreast, and the resorts held thousands of people. It hadn’t been so clogged earlier when they first started walking the length of it, but sunset was a popular time.
“Over there,” Ri said finally, pointing off the path toward a relatively unoccupied stretch of the public beach. “Let’s go sit.” She made her way toward it, and Wolf followed. Every hammock, beach chair, and inch of sea wall nearby was taken, but Ri plopped down in the dry sand, drew up her knees, and circled her arms around them. Wolf sat down beside her and threw his hands out behind him. The splint made everything awkward, but he could still put some weight on the heel of his hand.
“This is so exciting for me,” Ri said reverently, her voice a whisper. “Rising at dawn to see the reverse in Maine just isn’t the same. It’s beautiful. But it’s cold. And it’s always precipitating somehow or other. Here it’s so warm and pleasant. And the colors… they’re just amazing.”
Wolf said nothing in response. He didn’t need to. The brilliant pinks and oranges reflecting off both the thin layers of clouds in the sky and the shimmering waters of the ocean spoke a language of their own. The giant ball of sun was bathed in fiery color that blazed in all directions, extending high into the sky and seeming to wrap around Wolf and Ri. For a few glorious moments the beauty of that color seemed to block out all the problems of the world, until the bottom of the orb was abruptly cut off by the leading edge of the dark water. Then, way too fast, the ocean simply gobb
led it up. The orb disappeared into the moving blackness, and only a dim legacy of color was left behind in the sky.
Ri sighed with contentment. Only then did Wolf realize that she must have moved gradually closer to him. Because as she sighed, she also leaned back on her hands, with the result being that her side was now pressed up against his.
The effect of her contact was immediate. And beyond frustrating. The woman’s actions were incomprehensible. She had made her position clear enough in the grove, hadn’t she? She’d said she wouldn’t sleep with him without some kind of commitment on his part. Fine. He could respect that. But what the hell kind of commitment could she possibly expect when she knew he was leaving Maui in a matter of days? Just last night he’d booked a flight for Sunday!
Had she changed her mind?
His heart skipped a beat. He sat up a little, testing the waters. Ri immediately snuggled closer into the crook of his arm. She said nothing to him, just continued to watch the sky with a dreamy, contented look on her face.
She must have changed her mind.
His hands practically wobbled beneath him. He couldn’t believe it. He could drive her back to the Hilton right now…
No, actually, he didn’t believe it. “Ri?” he whispered softly into her ear.
“Hmm?” she murmured back, still cuddling.
“What are you doing?” he asked. “Have you changed your mind?”
She didn’t move, but he thought he could feel her stiffen slightly. “About what?”
“You know about what,” he said firmly. “About wanting ‘nothing.’ That’s not the message you’re sending me right now.”
Ri sat up. She turned around and looked him in the eyes. He expected to see some guilt there. He wanted her, and she knew it. He was in no position to dole out friendly affection, and she knew that, too. And if she made some lame attempt to pretend ignorance, he intended to call her on it.
But Ri’s eyes held no guilt whatsoever. The first emotion he saw in them was irritation. Frank irritation, like she was about to tell him off. The second emotion, the sight of which nearly bowled him over, was desire so powerful it damn near equaled his own.
“I never said that’s what I want,” she said sharply.
Wolf stared at her. Dear God, he was lost. He didn’t even know if this was good news or bad. “What do you mean?” he asked, shaking his head.
Ri’s brown eyes flashed fire. She took a quick breath before she spoke, and her voice turned softer. “What I want is a relationship, Wolf. And everything that comes with it.” She shifted and raised a hand to his face. Her finger traced slowly along his jawline. “You think you’re not driving me crazy?”
Wolf was perilously close to grabbing her around the waist and rolling her on her back on the sand in front of hundreds of people. Some principle or other stopped him, but the funny thing was, he couldn’t immediately remember it. It had something to do with protecting himself. Keeping things simple. Avoiding female drama…
Oh, right. No strings or nothing. He felt strongly about that. It was his mantra. It had always made perfect sense in the past. Why it was failing him so spectacularly now, he wasn’t sure. But he was hardly an unreasonable person. Surely they could come to some compromise?
“Ri,” he said gently, “I have a plane ticket for Sunday. I don’t know what you want from me.”
“Sunday?” The word was little more than a squeak. The sparkle drained from her eyes. The corners of her beautiful full lips, almost always tilted slightly up, dropped to a straight line. He felt as if he’d punched her in the gut with a fist. He felt as if he’d punched himself.
He wanted desperately to make her smile again. He brushed a shock of hair over her shoulder, then let his hand linger over the softness of her neck. “It doesn’t have to be ‘nothing,’” he suggested mildly.
Her eyes brightened again. Just a little bit. She leaned forward towards him. His pulse began to race, but she stopped short of kissing him. She spoke instead. “I see. So if ‘nothing’ becomes ‘something,’ then ‘no strings’ becomes ‘some strings.’ Is that right?”
Wolf tried to process her logic. He hadn’t meant that at all. She was being way too lawyerly with his words.
Ri pulled away from him. “I can see that’s not what you meant,” she answered herself. “So as much as it pains me on such a gorgeous evening, I’m afraid I’ll have to stick to my original answer.” She rose and dusted the sand off her shapely rear end.
Wolf wanted to help with that. He also wanted to throw things and yell.
Ri offered him a hand up. He stared at it stupidly for a moment, then realized it was a sort of peace offering. He put his left hand in hers and stood. The touch of her fingers was electrifying. He tried to let go of her hand and was surprised when she wouldn’t let him.
“Wolf,” she said in a more normal voice. “If you should change your mind about that policy, be sure to let me know.”
Her fingers were shooting liquid desire through his veins. He found it difficult to look at her. “I’ll only be here four more days,” he said gruffly, extracting his hand from hers. “Even if I wanted ‘a relationship,’ what’s the point?”
She said nothing. He still hesitated to look at her, but curiosity eventually got the best of him, and he raised his gaze to her face. She stood still and without expression, studying him almost as if he were a museum exhibit. He looked back at her a long time before she seemed to notice his staring. She startled a little, then smiled at him. The seductress was gone. Her expression was subdued, but not defeated. Rather, she was back to the fully self-possessed, confident woman he was accustomed to being around.
“Well, I guess we’d better hit the road,” she said pleasantly. “It’s a long way home, and I want to get an early start again tomorrow.”
She turned and began walking toward the public garage where they’d parked the truck.
He accompanied her without comment.
Chapter 25
Anchorage, Alaska 2005
“Wolf? Can you come here a minute? There’s something I want to talk to you about,” Nels called from the kitchen.
Wolf looked in his father’s direction with suspicion. It was ten o’clock on a school night, and Bear was sprawled on the couch watching some screwball comedy and laughing his head off. Wolf had just gotten back from a friend’s hockey game, so he had an excuse for being out late. But Bear was only twelve. He was supposed to be in bed by now. “What does Dad want?” he asked in a whisper, poking his little brother in the shoulder.
“Go ask him yourself,” Bear answered between chuckles, his eyes never leaving the show.
Wolf dragged his feet into the kitchen. He didn’t think he was in trouble for anything. His grades were fine. He’d been doing his share of the chores, as always. Things had been getting a lot more interesting with the opposite sex since his extreme growth spurt last year — not to mention the cool new beard he’d acquired over the summer — but his dad wouldn’t know about those ventures. So what was the deal?
“Yeah, Dad?” he asked, standing in the doorway.
“Sit down, Wolf,” his dad replied, gesturing to a kitchen chair beside him.
Not good.
Wolf sat.
“I’m hoping this won’t come as too much of a shock to you,” Nels said, smiling. “But I’ve asked Frieda to move in with us.”
Wolf’s mouth dropped open with shock.
Nels looked amused. “I… uh… I guess I’ve miscalculated. Sorry if I caught you off guard, son. But we’ve been dating for nearly a year, now. Your brother wasn’t at all surprised.” Nels’ cheeks reddened a bit. His smile returned, then broadened. “In fact, he asked me why I didn’t go ahead and propose.”
“Propose!” Wolf scooted his chair back and stood up. “Dad, are you—” His heart was racing. His mind was reeling. He didn’t want to call his father crazy. He wasn’t even sure what grounds he’d be basing that accusation on. Of course his father dated. He always had,
although he used to hide the fact from Bear. Nels had been more open about seeing Frieda, but then she owned the barbecue place near the hockey rink, so she was harder to hide. But moving her in? To their house?
“She has her own place, Dad!” Wolf complained, thinking even as he said it how stupid he sounded. But he had to say something. His dad had no sense of self-protection when it came to women. He was a lamb to the slaughter. “Why do you keep doing this to yourself? You know how it always turns out!”
Nels frowned. “Wolf,” he said sternly. “I appreciate your concern. But that’s enough of that.”
Wolf frowned back. His dad didn’t sound the least bit appreciative. “But it’s true!” he pressed. “Every single one of those women you fell for — they all just turned around and stabbed you in the back! If you move Frieda in here the exact same thing’s going to happen, and Bear’s going to get hurt, too! How can you do that to him? Again? And for what?”
Nels' eyes flashed fire. He scooted his own chair back, and as the wooden legs scraped on the vinyl floor Wolf felt a quiver of fear shoot up his spine. His father had never been the physically aggressive type. But still.
Nels stood stiffly. He took a deep breath. Then another. “Sit down, Wolf,” he said finally, his voice strained.
Wolf sat.
Nels sat back down himself. “Now, you listen to me,” he said evenly. “I understand where this is coming from. I do. But you’re out of line. What you’re talking about is ancient history. Frieda and I have been together for nearly a year now, and we’ve known each other a lot longer than that. We want to live together, but there’s not enough room for the four of us over the restaurant, so I’ve invited her to move in here.”
His voice lowered and his eyes caught Wolf’s. “I love her, son. And as hard as this may be for you to believe, she loves me, too.”
Wolf tore his gaze away. His dad was killing him. Nobody had to tell Wolf how crazy his father was about Frieda. Nels always wore his heart on his sleeve. But he’d “loved” all the others, too. There was nothing different about this one that Wolf could see. She’d lasted the longest so far, but what did that prove? It would only make the fall harder when it came.