That first day Darkness hadn’t come home—
Shortly after midnight, we started picking at the cold food.
Then, straightaway that morning, we pretty much mounted an assault on the Dustiness mansion…
“They’ll just chase us off again,” I said. “We are talking about a serious noble family here. If we try to fight our way in, the best we can hope for is that we all get arrested. Darkness and her dad being who they are, we might avoid the death penalty, but if she doesn’t want to see us, we don’t have a lot of choices.”
Megumin wilted at this.
When we had arrived at Darkness’s home, the guard at the gate had told us simply, “I can’t tell you what’s happening. I must ask you to withdraw,” and then turned us away.
Irritated, I started looking for a replacement box cutter.
“I don’t think you believe what you’re saying, Kazuma,” Aqua said. “You’re still hoping there’s something we can do for Darkness. That’s why you’re working so hard on all this new stuff. You really believe what that useless demon said to you, don’t you? Let me tell you something about demons. They’re all con artists. And they never help someone for free.”
I froze when I heard Aqua give voice to my inner turmoil. “N-no way! You’re so wrong you don’t even know! I just don’t wanna work, so I’m coming up with even more gadgets to sell, that’s all!”
Aqua looked at me very seriously. “What’s with the passive-aggressive act, Kazuma? You don’t have to pretend not to care. Just be honest. Say that you’re lonely without Darkness around. I refuse to acknowledge anyone who tries that ‘I pretend not to care, but I secretly care a lot!’ act but doesn’t have golden twintails! So either get your act together or get some dye and start doing that hair!”
“……”
I grabbed the egg from Aqua as if I was going to go make breakfast with it. That was enough to get her weeping and apologizing for crossing the line.
Megumin just watched us, then murmured sadly, “Even your usual antics are somehow…missing something now.”
4
Megumin pattered behind me, looking displeased, as I went to the Guild. Frankly, I had hoped she would just sit quietly at home today—like Aqua, who was still obsessed with hatching her egg.
“Hey, Megumin,” I said. “I’ll give you some pocket change to blow—so just go home, okay?”
“No, it is not okay. I am a member of this party, and as such I have a right to help choose any new members.”
Megumin had refused to listen to any of my instructions for a while now. And I guess I couldn’t blame her.
After all, the reason I was going to the Guild right now was in hopes of finding a new frontline member to replace Darkness.
The wizard stepped up her pace until she was immediately behind me and said, “I’m appalled. A precious companion, with whom you’ve shared laughter and pain, goes away for just a few days, and you try to replace her? You’re a monster, Kazuma. A true monster.”
Then she jogged backward until she was again several steps behind me.
“Y-you’ve got it all wrong. Darkness asked us to replace her. Of course I would have preferred to have her back. But she’s the one who wanted us to—”
There was a tap-tap-tap as Megumin closed the distance once more. “You’re just putting up a front. You’re embarrassed after what Aqua said to you earlier, aren’t you? You just can’t admit it. You’re trying to act tough. You’re afraid that if you put off getting a new party member, we’ll think it’s because you miss Darkness.”
Then she jogged backward (tap-tap-tap) until she was again several steps behind me.
I can’t believe this!
After that, Megumin tailed me until we got to the Guild, the space between us never changing by a single step.
Geez. She could just walk beside me, but nooo…
Annoyingly, she never fell back far enough that I could try to lose her by running away.
When we finally made it to the Adventurers Guild, Megumin came up and tugged on my sleeve.
“I really don’t think you should go in there, Kazuma. If you do, you will experience firsthand the wrath of the Crimson Magic Clan.”
“What are you gonna do? Try anything, and I’ll stuff that precious staff of yours down the toilet.”
I walked into the Guild with Megumin, who was frowning close behind me. I went over to the LOOKING FOR GROUP board and started going through the posts. There was no point in posting a request for new members myself; our party’s terrible reputation would precede us. I was painfully aware that nobody would answer my request for a front-row tank.
That meant we had to find someone who was already looking for a new party to join. We could strong-arm them a little if necessary…
Ooh!
I actually found someone right away who looked pretty good. A warrior, specializing in one-handed swords. Confident in their defensive prowess, looking to tank on the front row. Eighteen-year-old male.
That sounded just about right. I grabbed the paper and went over to the table where the adventurer was waiting.
“Ahem. Excuse me? About your post?” I said.
The guy looked up at me with a cheerful expression. Maybe he didn’t know who I was. “Oh yes! Pleased to meet you. My name is—”
“Never mind the introductions,” Megumin said, coming up behind the guy.
…This couldn’t end well.
“I don’t want to know your name until I have tested you, to see if you are right for our party. We are, after all, a first-rate operation that routinely goes toe-to-toe with generals of the Demon King. Your test is this: You must defeat a major bounty solo, without any— Ow!”
“There’s no test! Please, just ignore her! I’m sorry—give us a minute, okay?”
“Uh… Sure…”
I gave the jabbering Megumin a smack to shut her up. “Come over here, you.”
“Absolutely not… Oh! Oh! Don’t pull on my hood! I got this robe from a friend! You’ll stretch it out of shape!”
I dragged Megumin over to where we would be out of earshot of the warrior guy. “Don’t you get it?” I said. “If Darkness comes back, all that happens is we have a five-person party. I don’t have the stamina to be our wall. Neither does Aqua. And you are out of the question. If we want to face a bunch of monsters without Darkness, we need someone to block for us, get it?”
“Yes, Kazuma, I ‘get it.’ I am quite intelligent enough to understand the need for front-row muscle. Let us proceed, then.”
There’s no way she really understands. She’s going to sabotage the interview.
“Listen up,” I said to her. “We’ve taken down a bunch of the Demon King’s generals. One of these days we’re going to get the attention of the king himself. Heck, he sent Vanir here because we offed Beldia. We need to have at least a minimum of functioning combat ability at any time, just in case he shows up. We could get that kid to join us on a temp basis. You see? You won’t undermine me, will you?”
“I see. And I won’t. Believe me, I won’t.” Megumin nodded, unusually docile. It was when she was most demure that you could be surest she was planning something. I went back to the warrior’s table, keeping one very close eye on my wizard.
“Okay,” I said, “sorry about that. I’m Kazuma Satou. You can call me Kazuma. And this is—”
Just as I was about to introduce her, Megumin gave her cape a dramatic flourish and, in a voice that carried around the entire Guild Hall, said:
“My name is Megumin! Greatest of the magic-users of Axel and master of Explosion! In this Guild I am known by the nickname of Crazy Explosion Girl! Now, let us together— Ow!”
As Megumin stood there doing a ridiculous self-introduction and attracting the attention of the entire Guild, I gave her a smack—but it was too late. A look of recognition was dawning on the warrior’s face.
“W-wait… I’ve heard rumors about you… I’m—I’m sorry, they were the most terrible thi
ngs. It’s too much for me! Please, ask someone else!”
I was curious what kind of rumors he’d heard. Maybe our reputation was worse than I’d thought. We left the warrior, still apologizing, behind us. Megumin turned to me with a smile that was part satisfaction—but part pain, as if she had lost something important.
“It doesn’t look like he’s a good match for us, does it, Kazuma? All I did was introduce myself. Let’s try the next person. Who is it?”
Self-introduction? More like a suicide attack. I had underestimated Megumin’s commitment. I never expected her to embrace the nickname she loathed so much.
Anyway, who was next?
Megumin and I went back over to the board, but each time we found a likely prospect, they refused to so much as make eye contact. It looked like Megumin had succeeded in fatally wounding our reputation with her little outburst.
Dammit! Usually she just mindlessly exploded things. Why did she have to choose now of all times to be clever?
That was when it happened.
“Hey, Kazuma. You lookin’ for party members? Why not ask me?”
It was Dust. He didn’t seem to be with his usual group today.
“You already have party members, don’t you?” I said. “What happened to the others?”
Dust’s face twisted. “They’re the worst! Get this, Kazuma—just listen to this! They made all that money in the battle with the hydra, so now they tell me they don’t plan to work for a while! I didn’t get any reward, and I need to make some cash. But everyone’s so loaded right now that they aren’t even looking for temp party members. And warriors like me are an eris a dozen… That’s my story. If you’re looking to fill out your front row, why not let me do it?”
Megumin was glaring at Dust as if he were a very inconvenient bug. Okay, so he had a reputation as a punk, but he was also known as someone who could get a job done. Megumin and Aqua had actually partied up with him at one point, so he was sort of a friend.
I didn’t have any reason to turn him down, so Dust joined our party on a trial basis.
What we needed now was a way to make sure the whole party gelled, temporary member and all, so we grabbed a random quest and headed for a big farming area on the outskirts of town.
It was the rainy season, and while in Japan that brings out cute little toads, around here it meant something much more dangerous.
“Deadeye! Deadeye, Deadeye, Deadeye! …This isn’t working. I can’t damage it with my arrows. Its skin is too tough!”
“Swords and arrows won’t work against an Adamantropod! Just try to slow it down with magic, Kazuma! Help protect the fields from that thing until Little Miss Jailbait gets her magic ready!”
“Hey! Exactly whom do you think you’re referring to as jailbait?!”
Dust, Megumin, and I were out in the fields along with several other adventurers who had taken the same quest to get rid of these pests. The rainy season brought a pestilence of Giant Snails, which liked to eat the crops—and then there were these Adamantropods.
Behind us, at that moment…
“Hey! One of those summer bamboos got Joseph right in the ass! He’s wounded! He can’t work in the fields like this! Get him out of here!”
“A wild boar! It must think all this confusion is its chance, because it and other crop eaters are showing up in droves!”
These shouts were coming from the farmers trying to harvest the crops.
Harvesting was a labor-intensive project in any world.
“Freeze! Freeze, Freeze! Freeze!!” I used ice magic to lower the Adamantropod’s body temperature and slow it down. It didn’t have the prefix adamant- in its name for nothing—not just its shell but its entire body was exceptionally tough. Buying us time like this was the most I could possibly do.
In the fields, Dust had already dispatched several monkeys and now stabbed another one with his sword, bracing himself with the hilt while he brought up the shield in his left hand.
A wild boar was about to charge, and Dust was getting ready to meet it.
“Come at meeeee!” Dust dropped into a low stance and ran forward, gripping the hilt of his sword even tighter. If anyone could face down a wild boar without flinching, it would be him. He had survived a violent attack by a hydra, after all.
But that would be a lot to expect, even from Dust. The boar, as big as a cow, went charging straight at him…
“Gwah?!”
The monster’s attack flung him through the air. The pig, however, wasn’t unscathed from its collision with Dust and his full suit of metal armor; it tottered around, dazed, and stopped charging. I went over to the boar and cut it down with my sword. I had managed to defeat the creature without actually having to fight it. I took a look back to see how things were going.
Monkeys had gotten past the defensive efforts of several adventurers and into the fields. Damn! I temporarily ignored Dust, still blinking from his encounter with the boar, and started sniping monkeys with my arrows.
“Kazuma! I have finished chanting my Explosion spell!” Megumin called.
I pointed at the retreating band of monkeys and said, “Do it, Megumin! Blow ’em away!”
That prompted shouting from the other adventurers: “No! Wai—”
“Explosion!!!”
Megumin’s magic took out the monkeys, and the boar, and the Adamantropod. And all the fields, and all the crops, and all of us.
5
Threat eliminated, we headed back to the Guild. The reward was twenty thousand eris for each adventurer who participated. We were dealing with Adamantropods and some other pests—other than the wild boar, nothing life-threatening. Twenty thousand seemed like a pretty good deal…
For everyone else anyway.
“Right, then, Mr. Kazuma Satou, Miss Megumin, Mr. Dust. Five thousand eris each.”
Blowing away the crops took a chunk out of our reward. That was on me; I had given Megumin the order without thinking it through.
I apologized, but Dust said to me, “Hey, it happens. At least this’ll cover the booze for tonight. Don’t get all bent out of shape. Without the big boom, those monkeys would’ve gotten away, and we would’ve failed the whole quest!”
Then he laughed and immediately put his money toward the order of a nice cold mug.
“You know,” Megumin said, “given that neither Aqua nor Darkness was present, I think the three of us did quite well together. There weren’t too many other adventurers, either. I would have expected more participants in that quest.”
Megumin seemed happy enough that we had completed the quest successfully, but it still seemed like her mind was elsewhere. And I knew where: She was thinking about Darkness.
It wasn’t fair to compare Dust with Darkness, but if there was one thing that crazy masochist was good at, it was soaking up damage. Dust had done himself proud, getting rid of some of the monkeys and being an all-around decent front-row fighter, but still… Darkness might never have hit anything with her attacks, but she could have absorbed that boar’s charge without flinching. Again: not fair, I know, but I couldn’t help thinking about it.
Well, what was the point of comparing Dust and Darkness now? Dust was the one we had in our party, and we would just have to see how things went.
The day after we had acquired this provisional party member, the front door of our house flew open without so much as a knock, and a man came dashing in.
“I know I said yesterday that, since you had joined our party for the time being, you should stop by the house and I would formally introduce you to Aqua—but you don’t have to be in such a rush. What’s up?”
The new arrival, Dust, was still breathing hard as he said, “Kazuma, this is bad! You gotta help me! I’m begging you—come with me!”
This was the guy who had charged right in to finish off a hydra. Whatever had him this upset, it had to be big. I looked back at Megumin and Aqua. “I don’t know what this is about, but I’m going to find out.”
Then I left th
e mansion, Dust practically dragging me along.
As we went, Dust explained to me just what it was that was so terrible. When he finished, I suddenly stopped short.
“All right, hang on a minute. Let me get this straight. This awful situation you’re so worried about…is that Rin got a guy?”
“Yes! Surely you can see how serious this is?! But all Keith and Taylor had to say was, ‘Oh, huh’!”
Sorry, buddy, that’s…pretty much my reaction, too.
Dust, however, raised his fist and proclaimed, “My dear and treasured companion is getting all lovey-dovey with some dude from who knows where! Kazuma, wouldn’t you be worried if one of your good female friends took up with some weird guy?!”
I guess if I, you know, had any good female friends… And if she went and got a boyfriend…
“I sort of get what you’re saying. I think.”
“Right?! That’s my Kazuma; I knew you’d understand!”
Practically manic now, Dust went on with his story. From what he told me, Rin had grown colder and colder toward him recently. Suspicious, Dust had started tailing her twenty-four seven and had spotted her going to an inn with a guy he didn’t recognize.
“Y-y’know, you really need to stop with the—”
“And that means this no-account rando has turned Rin into his arm candy! I’m worried about my dear party member. I want to find out who this guy is. Please, Kazuma, I can’t count on the others. You’re the only one I can trust—please help me!” He put his palms together in supplication.
I stopped and thought. It wasn’t cool to interfere in other people’s love lives, but could I really pretend I didn’t know how he felt? If Darkness suddenly announced one day that she had a boyfriend, I would want to know who he was. Though, granted, that was because Darkness had…strange taste in guys.
“All right,” I said after a moment. “I don’t quite feel right about it, but if I were in your place, I might want the same thing. I don’t think Rin is likely to get herself into any trouble, but we did go on an adventure together once. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to know what kind of guy she’s involved with.”
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