“Don’t cry, Tor. He’ll never get close to you again,” I promise her.
The door opens behind us, and Kyla steps out. Walking around us and down the steps, she stops in front of Victoria.
She raises her brow as she looks at my arm wrapped around her daughter. Kyla’s about as scary as a stone.
“It’s time to go,” she murmurs, focusing on Tor.
Removing my arm from around her shoulders, Tor gets to her feet.
“Where are you going?”
“Into town. I’ll see you later, maybe.”
Her reluctance bothers me. I don’t like it one bit.
I remain on the steps, feeling uneasy as they drive away from the club, tailed by two prospects.
“Where’s my brother?” I ask Tal.
“He’s with India.”
Fucking great.
Walking toward the room at the far end of the clubhouse, I open the door to find him sitting on the floor beside the freezer.
“Leo, come on, brother.” This isn’t healthy, and it’s not right.
Kneeling in front of him, I murmur, “It’s not good for you to be in here. She’s not here anymore. Not her soul.”
“What do you know about souls?”
“I know I liked hers, and it wouldn’t be trapped in a fucking freezer with her lifeless body.”
Anger has replaced the emptiness in his eyes, and he snaps, “I’m not leaving her.”
“She’s not here anymore, but your daughter still is. Mom and Dad want you focused on Ellis so you have someone to channel your rage and pain on, but that’s not what you have to do. Do what you want to do, for you and for your daughter.”
“I want…” He lets the sentence die there.
“What? Tell me?”
Taking in a deep breath, he lets it out slowly. “I want to be alone. I want to sit next to my frozen fucking fiancée and finish this bottle. You want to help me? Pass me the smokes I know you hide from Dad on account of his cancer.”
I don’t hide shit from him. I’m pretty sure he’s seen me smoking all around the club.
Tossing him my pack, I set the lighter down on the floor beside him. He takes a hard enough hit to burn half the cigarette down.
“When you were younger, you’d try to follow me everywhere. These days, I struggle to remember the last conversation we shared.”
“That’s because your head is so far up your own ass, and mine is just as far up mine. You had India, and I had… my own distractions.”
“Victoria? She’s your distraction, isn’t she?”
“She… distracts me from certain things. She makes these plans, though. I don’t mean to hurt her, but she doesn’t listen.”
I keep the news of the baby to myself. It’s the last thing he’s going to want to hear.
“I tell her we can’t be together, and she hears we’re together.”
“I’d say she’s young, but I don’t know anything anymore. I’ll tell you now, though, if you don’t want to be with her, don’t mess her around. Being with one of us will get them killed in the end.”
“That’s the thing. I don’t want her being with anyone else, and trust me, I know I’m a prick.”
“There you go, little brother. You’re together. You just need to stop fighting it.”
It certainly doesn’t mean that. It just means she feels more for me than I do for her.
“He shot her, Luca. He killed her without so much as a thought for who she was.”
“I know. And to be honest, I don’t know how you’ll get through this. I just know you will someday.”
I rise off the floor while he stays on his ass.
“I’m going to check on Tor. She’s still shaken up from it all. Did you know he poured a bottle of whiskey over her and held a lighter next to her face? She thought she was going to burn alive. And after what he did to India, the fucker was more than capable of doing it.”
“At least she’s still alive, little brother.”
“Are you going to be okay if I leave you here?”
He nods, and by the time I’m at the door, he’s back to drowning in his grief.
Slipping out the back, I light a cigarette, embrace the silence out here. The moon catches my eye, and I find myself wondering what it is that attracts Tor to it? It’s just the moon. It comes out every night, and it’s boring as fuck.
She wants me to commit to her for the baby, and I realise there isn’t anything in my way. Sara’s long gone. Perhaps she is meant to be in the past. Everyone has a story about their first love. This would be mine.
Leo’s future is unclear. The club’s future may be on shaky ground, but mine doesn’t have to be.
I could grow to love Tor. She’s not exactly a chore to be around, and she’s a great fuck. We could take shit slow and see where it leads us.
Taking the last hit on my smoke, I grind it out under my boot and head for the main house. I heard the twins telling Ricky that Kyla and Victoria had returned from town a couple of hours ago, so I head up unnoticed to the room she’s staying in and creep inside.
She’s curled up in bed, breathing softly. I cross the room and sit on the edge of her bed.
Her face is make-up free, but her eyes are blotchy. She’s been crying again. Ellis has so much to pay for, and guilt sets in deep enough for me to feel the cut of not being there for her.
Stroking her hair, she stirs, and her eyes flutter open. She jumps back, as if fearing that I’m Ellis clear on her face, until she focuses and realizes it’s me.
She doesn’t say a word. Completely uncharacteristic for her.
“You don’t want to talk about the baby, but I have something to say, and I want you to listen. I don’t want you to twist it, or come up with your own conclusions. What I’m about to say, I mean, and I don’t want it dissected and thrown in my face. You get me?”
She nods, her lips pressed in a firm line.
“Sara was my best friend. She would’ve been my girlfriend if she didn’t have the problems she did. She’s been the only one I’ve ever wanted to be with, and when she left, I thought I’d never feel a thing for anyone else ever again. I can’t tell you that I’m crazy in love with you, but I can say that I feel something for you. I don’t want you with anyone else. I hated every second you were trapped with Ellis, and I like it a hell of a lot when you’re on my dick.”
Her lips stretch into a small smile.
“I’ll make you mine, Tor. We’ll raise this baby together, and I’ll be at your side every step of the way. What I’m trying to say is, you were right. Shit’s changed over the last few days, and I see everything differently.”
“Luca…”
Sitting up, she shuffles back and leans against the headboard. I assumed she’d jump on me, but it’s the complete opposite.
“You don’t believe me?”
“I do, but—”
“This is what you wanted, babe.” Rising from the bed, I look down at her, clenching my fists in frustration. “I’m not playing games, and I’m not having you change the rules every time I catch up. Tell me now, do you want me or not?”
Her mouth open and closes, but nothing comes out.
“What is your fucking problem? All I hear from you is that you want me. That you’d only have this baby if we did it together. I’m giving you me. I’m giving you the fucking lot. What. Do. You. Want?”
Shuffling onto her knees, she grabs me by my cut and pulls me close.
“Would you claim me if there wasn’t a baby?”
This time, my mouth opens and closes, but not a single word comes out.
“You wouldn’t, and you’re too late. I had an abortion in town this afternoon. There’s no baby anymore.”
The leather on my cut creaks as she releases me and she falls back onto the bed.
There’s no baby?
She wouldn’t talk to me last night about the baby, then went behind my back less than twenty-four hours later to get rid of it?
I should be
backing away, getting out of here, but I prowl forward, lean on the bed, and push her back until she’s under me.
Running my hand down her hair, I grip her chin, my fingers digging into her cheek.
“Fuck what I said.” My voice is too low, too cold. I barely recognise myself. “You don’t exist to me anymore. You see me, walk the other way. You see me in a room, you leave. Don’t you ever talk to me again.”
“Deep down, that’s what you’ve wanted all along. If you could’ve fucked me and never spoken a word, you would’ve been happier.”
Climbing off the bed, I glare down at her.
“You’re a cunt.”
Not caring who sees or hears me leaving her room, I slam the door on my way out. The moon mocks me as I cross the lot and jog up the stairs to my room.
Once inside, I slam my door shut and slam my fists against it over and over. I don’t give a fuck about the sting when my knuckles split open.
Staring at the traces of blood on the wood, I fall back on the bed. She fucking killed my kid, and still tried twisting it back on me.
I’m so fucking done. It was easier to deal with life when I avoided everyone. Fuck this. I don’t need Victoria, and I’m not going to hide away.
Throwing open my door, I head down to the bar and fall into a chair in the corner. My veins are thrumming, feeling like snakes slithering through me. The bar is crammed with brothers, but I don’t hear a thing. A violent ringing is drilling between my ears. My knee is bouncing in agitation. I can’t see anything but the rage consuming me.
A warm hand lands on my knee, and it takes a moment to clear my vision and see Mom has pulled up a chair beside me.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
Blinking, my mouth opens and closes, but I can’t find the words, so I say, “Nothing.”
She narrows her eyes. “Something’s clearly wrong. Talk to me, Luca. What’s happened?”
I can’t tell her the truth, so I opt for a lie. “Just all this shit going on with Ellis and the Crows.”
It’s believable, and I sigh in relief when she accepts its.
“The one thing I’ve learned over the years is, people always get their just desserts. We’ll track down Ellis, and when we do, he’ll pay for every sin he’s committed against us.”
I don’t doubt the club’s ability to find and deal with him. However, for tonight, it’s not even on my radar.
Victoria is, and since I can’t do anything to her, I have the perfect substitute—Lily. Jumping to my feet, I lay a kiss on Mom’s cheek and mutter, “See you later” before heading out. No one’s bothered as I drive out of the club and head for town. Pressing my foot down on the gas, I make it to Lily’s street in good time.
Seeing a light on in one of the rooms upstairs, I grab my gun from the glove compartment. Shoving it into the back of my jeans, I climb out of the truck and head for her house. She’s leaving town tonight, whether it’s her catching a ride to who cares where or buried in the ground. Either way, my mood is perfect for dealing with her once and for all.
I circle the house, finding no one about downstairs. Leaning down, I pick up a large rock and smash the back door window, cringing at the noise, and quickly let myself in.
Once inside the kitchen, I close the door behind me and freeze. Hearing the floor creak above me has me smiling from ear to ear.
“Lily,” I drawl out, loud enough for her to hear.
Silence greets me, and I move slowly to the hall. “I know you’re awake. Come down and we can talk.”
“Luca?”
The upstairs hall light switches on, flooding half the downstairs hallway in light. I step out from behind the wall and stand at the bottom of the stairs. I almost laugh when I see her at the top of the landing, holding a bat.
“You won’t need that. Toss it to the side and make your way down here. I ran out of patience a long time ago, so I wouldn’t keep me waiting.”
“Just leave!”
Sighing, I whip my gun out and aim it at her. Her gasp is music to my ears.
“Like I said, I’m out of patience. You wanna live, get your ass down here.”
On shaky legs, she takes her time, making her way down each step slowly.
“What are you going to do? Shoot me?”
Once she’s in reach, I grab her arm and slam her against the wall.
“That’s exactly what I’m gonna do. But it’s not like I can dig your grave in the back yard, what with the neighbours and all.”
She physically trembles in front of me. I can taste her fear, and it’s delicious.
“Please, don’t do this,” she pleads. Unlucky for her, I don’t have a conscience for it to fall on.
Clicking the safety off, I press the barrel to her temple. “I warned you what would happen, but you chose to ignore it. What happens now is on you.”
“I haven’t done anything to you. Please, Lu—”
“Shut up. I don’t want you in this town. And since you won’t leave, I have to go with other means to get rid of you.”
Grabbing her nightshirt, I shove her into the living room and down onto the couch, where she lands with a yelp.
“All you had to do was listen.”
“I-I’m listening now, I swear.”
Scratching my hairline with the barrel of the gun, I laugh. “You’re full of shit, Lily. I don’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth.”
“Let me leave, and I promise I won’t come back this time. I have a cousin down south.”
“I think I’d prefer to kill you. That way, I’ll know for sure I won’t have to see your fucking face ever again.”
Snatching up the cushion beside her, tears start to stream down her. “Don’t worry, I’ve heard a bullet to the head is a quick death.”
I’ve barely moved when she says, “Luca, you don’t want to do this. It’ll be murder. Can you live with that for the rest of your life?”
Stepping back, I lower the gun. “Why do you think you know me?” I ask, genuinely curious.
“You’re like your father. He doesn’t kill because someone’s pissed him off. He only kills for the safety of the club.”
“You don’t know shit about it. My mom is the only woman in my life who is straight up a fucking angel, doing everything for everyone else. But since you dropped your secret on my dad, she’s been closing in on herself, putting on a front for the sake of others. You never once gave a shit what it did to her.”
“I never meant to hurt your mom—”
“Yes you did! You don’t give a fuck about anyone. You’re a shit mother, a shit sister. You’re just an all-around shitty fucking person. Your death would be a courtesy to everyone in your life.”
She has nothing to say in her defence.
“Slade doesn’t deserve to lose anyone else. Whatever you say, he loves me, and he won’t stop until I’m found.”
Backing up, I fall onto the armchair, dropping the cushion as Slade’s face appears in my mind.
Dad was right. Brothers families are out of bounds. I can’t kill her.
“How about this. I don’t shoot you tonight, and you leave. But if you ever come back, I’ll shoot you in front of Slade and deal with the fallout after they’ve dragged your lifeless body away.”
Leaping off the couch, she shouts, “Deal!”
For a moment, she just stands there, like she’s waiting for me to say something else.
“Go pack your shit, then. Don’t forget anything.”
Listening to her run up the stairs, I lean back in the chair. I have no idea if I was really going to shoot her tonight, but I came real fucking close.
Chapter Twenty
Victoria
Days pass, turning into weeks. Everything in the club has changed. India was laid to rest, Harper returned home, and the brothers are angry with Cas for killing Ellis behind their backs.
None of it affects me, so I spend most of my time in the greenhouse. Luca has avoided me since the night I lied to him and told him I’d
aborted his baby.
It’s easier for him to hate me than let him live, knowing Ellis took more from his family than they originally thought. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s easier for me this way too. My lie has caused him to hate me, and with him cutting off all contact between us, it’s made everything clear to me, especially how he feels about me.
Yet the little voice in the back of my head keeps replaying him offering to go all in. He opened up to me for once, and while I knew it was pointless, I still craved that future with him.
Mom’s kept her word. She hasn’t told a soul about what happened that night, and we’ve quietly decided not to talk about it.
I told her I wanted to move on, and she accepted it. The few times I’ve been to the club, Luca’s walked out. One time, Alannah had him drop something off for my mom, and when I opened the door, I found it sitting on the porch, and him nowhere in sight.
“Are you ready, sweetheart?” Dad asks, waiting at the front door.
We’re spending the day at the club, because Alannah thinks all of us celebrating Thanksgiving will help with moral, but the nausea in my stomach says otherwise. Today isn’t going to end well.
I collect the pies from the counter and look around, making sure I haven’t forgotten anything, and head out. Mom and Dad talk during the drive to the club, leaving me to run over my plan of keeping myself sane for the day by avoiding Luca at all costs.
The old ladies are already over in the bar, setting up the food tables. Following Dad across the yard, I hand the pies over to my mom.
I can’t help but scan around for Luca, needing to know where he is so I can stay clear of him. When I don’t see him, I sigh in relief and take a seat next to my Grandpa. He’s tense today. Now that I think about it, everyone is.
I haven’t slept soundly or through the night since I thought I was going to die. And the guilt over lying to Luca has been building to a crippling point. There’s so much darkness in me, I want to scream.
I once told Luca lying was bad for the soul, that it rots you from the inside out, and I was right.
His Twisted Heart : Sons of Lost Souls MC Series Book Nine Page 12