by Kent, Rina
As we pass Asher, I roll down the window and flip him off. He freezes, a hand lying inert by his side. I soak in his surprised expression as Jason and I laugh.
“I’ve got to admit, I’m loving the new you,” Jason says.
“Why? What was the old me like?”
“Bitchy? Snobby? Silent, mostly.”
Ouch.
“And you would’ve never flipped Asher Carson the bird.”
I raise an imaginary cup. “To the new me, I guess.”
From today onward, no one is telling me how to live my life.
Blackwood is kind of what I expected from an elite college.
It’s four stories high and has ancient, European-ish architecture. Two huge towers stand tall on each end like a pair of massive guards.
The parking lot is filled with expensive cars, mostly German like Alex’s.
Jason parks the truck outside the college. It’s close enough so I won’t have to walk a long distance but far enough so no one can see him—or us.
I retrieve my bag. “You sure you don’t want to come in?”
His laughter echoes with genuine amusement like I just told the most entertaining joke of the century. “The only time I walk into the Black Devil’s compound is to whoop their asses on their own field.”
I roll my eyes. “Cocky much?”
“We might not have a lot of things going on, but we have ball. No snobby rich boys will take our championship away.”
I guess the rivalry between the Knights and the Black Devils is a real thing.
Still maneuvering my bag around my body, I open the door and slowly get my injured leg out.
“Do you want me to help?” Jason asks from beside me.
“Nope.” I mimic his earlier tone. “I might not remember anything, but I know how to take care of myself.”
He chuckles, the sound easy and cool on the ears.
I pause with my hand on the handle. “What were we exactly, Jason? You and I?”
His chuckle dies and silence hangs between us like a third presence for a moment too long. Finally, he sighs. “Friends.”
“Let me guess. We were only friends when my other friends weren’t around?”
“Something like that.” He grins. “But hey, it worked just fine.”
Well, not anymore.
The old Reina might have had her reason for hiding her friendship with Jason, but I can’t possibly find an excuse for it. True, I agreed not to disrupt my life, but I won’t stand still in front of stupid decisions—like hiding my friendship with Jason.
I’ll fix that part on Old Reina’s behalf.
It takes me several excruciating minutes to climb down from the truck. After I wave at Jason, he retreats and speeds in the opposite direction.
I watch him for a few seconds until he disappears around the corner.
Okay. I’m on my own now.
I mean, it shouldn’t be a problem. After all, I studied at this college for three years. It can’t possibly be that hard…right?
Even as I repeat the pep talk in my head, that gloomy cloud creeps into my brain, filling it with dark thoughts.
No one cares about you.
You’re nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I briefly close my eyes and try my hardest to push those damning thoughts away. They won’t get the best of me.
Not today.
The moment I open my eyes, a black van retreats slowly from around the corner. The windows are tinted black, and there’s no way to see who’s inside.
My shoulder blades stiffen, and my nails dig into my bag’s strap. Are those the people Alex said watched me when I was admitted to the hospital?
The mafia.
How did they know where to find me? Did they follow us from home? Or maybe they were waiting for my return to college.
Sweat breaks out on my forehead as I remain frozen in place. I can’t move or think or come up with an escape plan. Like a deer caught in headlights, I remain there, lips parted and eyes wild.
Don’t stop. Don’t look back. If you survive, I survive.
A familiar voice whispers in my head, and it’s like a shot of adrenaline. Gripping my bag tight, I watch my surroundings looking for anyone. They can’t hurt me when there are people around. The mob’s rule is to leave no witnesses behind.
Wait. How do I know that?
Just when I’m about to make a run for the entrance—or rather, limp toward it—the van suddenly changes direction. The squeak of the tires echoes in the air as it speeds in the opposite way.
My shoulders droop, and I’m about to release a sigh of relief when a familiar Mustang revs toward me at supersonic speed.
Oh, come on. Asher is the last thing I need for my screwed-up mood.
On second thought, did the van leave because he approached? Not that I’d ever be grateful to him or let him know that.
I ignore him and hobble to the entrance. Since it’s still early in the morning, only a few people are scattered around. I wanted to come at this hour to take a small tour and get familiar with the building and the students.
Still, even with so few students, the back of my neck prickles with unwanted attention. I can’t help feeling like a bug being examined underneath a microscope. Every move I make is measured by onlookers, and I have no clue who they are.
Maybe coming back all alone wasn’t the best idea after all. As much as my initial interaction with Bree sucked, I should’ve probably tagged along with her on my first day here.
A strong arm circles my waist from behind. I’m about to struggle free when I feel the familiar coldness.
The freezing body.
Like ice in the middle of summer.
This close, the smell of his aftershave grips my senses in a tight, merciless grip. Sandalwood and citrus. Rich but cold. He smells of fresh laundry right out of the dryer, but also of the darkness of the night.
He’s an enigma that way, Asher.
He spins me around, and I wobble on my good foot so I don’t make the other one worse.
He doesn’t do it by force, though. I don’t know why I expected him to kick me in the shin just to make my injury way more painful.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He stares down at me with a cool expression. Those damn sunglasses block me from getting a read on him.
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going back to school.”
“And you chose Jason for a ride.” It’s not a question; he’s stating a fact, and he’s intimidating me in such a subtle way, no passersby would detect it.
What kind of sorcery does he possess? Or maybe it’s not sorcery at all. This is the face of someone who’s in complete control of his emotions.
The type of demon who probably doesn’t have them at all.
That could explain why he can switch his body language so fast.
But if he thinks I’ll be his willing toy, he must really not know me at all. I might not have memories, but I know I’m not the type who lets others walk all over me.
I jut my chin out. “Jason and I are friends.”
He clutches my arm, fingers digging into my tender skin, and pushes me toward the wall. I gasp as my back hits the solid stone. Both his hands slam on either side of my face as he leans so close I can see his darkened eyes through the aviators.
“You’re not friends with Jason. You’re not friends with anyone unless I say you are.”
“Jeez, controlling much, Ash?”
He wraps his hand around my collarbone. It’s firm, disallowing me any movement, but it doesn’t cut off my air supply.
His mouth hovers inches from mine as he threatens in a deep tone. “For the last fucking time, it’s Asher.”
I’m about to speak when movement on my right catches my eye. A few students pass us by, openly gawking at the scene.
From their perspective, I’m standing on one leg, the other slightly bent. Asher’s front is almost covering mine, and his hand is around my throat. No idea
if it looks flirtatious or threatening.
But then again, Asher only appears threatening to me.
I place both hands on his T-shirt. The hard muscles ripple under my touch as I attempt to push him away.
He doesn’t move. Not even an inch.
“People are staring,” I hiss.
“Since when do you care?”
“Of course I care.”
“No, you don’t. Stop fucking around, Reina.”
“I’m not fucking around.” I lower my voice so no one hears. “I don’t want to be seen being manhandled by you in public.”
The corner of his lips tugs in a smirk. “Oh, but you have no say in that, remember? You’re my property and I touch you whenever and however I damn fucking please.”
The arrogance of this damn man. I’m tempted to punch him in the throat, but with his screwed up personality, he’ll just hurt me tenfold worse.
So I choose a different approach. Swallowing all the profanities, I soften my tone. “You know, those who claim their property in public usually suffer from trust issues. Now, I’m sure that’s not the case for you.”
His expression remains neutral, but I know I got him. Considering the level of Asher’s arrogance, I figured he wouldn’t like to be accused of anything, let alone trust issues. Besides, he’s the type who’d do everything to appear perfectly normal in the eyes of others. His perfect public image is everything he has and he’ll protect it with all his might.
I wait for him to let me go, but his grip tightens.
No, no, no.
What…?
Hot breaths tickle my ear as his lips graze the sensitive shell. “That’s where you’re wrong. Do you know what I’m doing right now? I’m staking my claim in public so no one dares to trample with what’s mine.”
I suck in a breath, digging my fingers into his T-shirt. “People are watching.”
“That’s the point, my ugly monster.”
“Ash—”
My words die at the back of my throat as his lips find the sensitive spot beneath my ear.
His lips latch onto the skin and he sucks it into his mouth. For someone as cold as Asher, his lips are burning hot. It’s like I’m being set on fire and he won’t stop until I turn to ashes.
Something unrestrained and wild grips me by the chest. The bottom of my stomach twists into itself, clawing and contracting as if it’s about to fall.
My senses kick up in intensity and everything becomes heightened tenfold. The rustling of the nearby leaves. The stone of the wall digging into my back. The scent of the earth surrounding us. I can even hear the chirping of a bird in the distance.
My fingers curl into the cloth of his T-shirt. I meant to push him, but my hands remain there, colliding with his heartbeat.
The risk someone might be watching doesn’t even sway me; if anything, it heightens my senses even more, as if that were possible.
Since the moment I woke up in the hospital, I’ve been a member of the walking dead, going through the motions like a robot. That’s why depressive thoughts have been kicking in and dragging me into their merciless clutches.
Right now, as Asher ravishes my neck, it’s the first time I’ve felt a burst of life running through me.
It hurts, you know.
Being dead for so long only to wake up all of a sudden hurts like a son of a bitch.
It’s like a baby taking his first breath. The moment his lungs kick into gear, he bursts out crying.
That’s what I feel like doing right now.
The rush of life is so strong I want to cry.
Asher’s mouth trails from underneath my ear to the lobe. He bites it into his mouth, sucking and nibbling so hard I expect him to break the skin and feast on my veins like some vampire.
My head turns hazy and disoriented. It’s like he’s put me on a staircase and the more I climb, the higher I get.
For the first time since I woke up in the hospital, something feels right and yet so utterly wrong.
Whatever black magic he’s performing on my skin is working. It’s loosening my muscles and turning me into a liberated soul. I would’ve given anything to feel alive after waking up like the dead.
A moan rips from my throat, uncaring if anyone hears.
I feel his growl against my skin before I hear it.
Asher pulls back, chest rising and falling with his short breaths. His jaw ticks before he tucks his reaction away. “Why did you do that?”
“D-do what?” I’m genuinely confused.
“Moan.” He says the word with distaste. “You don’t moan.”
What in the actual…?
“Am I not supposed to moan? Did I miss the memo somewhere?” I sound as perplexed as I feel.
“Who the fuck are you?” he asks with a semi-astonished tone as if seeing me for the first time.
“I’m…” I trail off. How the hell am I supposed to answer that question?
“You’re nothing, Reina. You’re only something when I decide you are.” He lowers his hand to my collarbone in a threatening caress. “Stop playing these fucking games with me.”
“What games?” I’m panting. The skin where his mouth was feels like wild flames. “You’re the one who trailed my ass and cornered me. Stop being so hot and cold, damn you.”
“Hot and cold, huh?”
“Yes. You’re giving me freaking whiplash, dude.”
“Dude?” He tightens his hand around my neck as if he’s pining for patience. “Oh, you’re good. You’ve become so good at this. What will it be next? Spreading your legs for me?”
“You’re the last person on this planet I would ever fuck.” There isn’t much conviction behind my words, but I stand my ground anyway.
“As if I would be interested in a monster like you.”
I try to pretend it doesn’t hurt. I try to ignore the pang creeping under my skin after how good he made me feel seconds ago.
The place he sucked on is turning ice cold all of a sudden. The fire has been extinguished and there are only ashes now.
I’m not the unfeeling monster he paints me as. It hurts, you know. Being this strongly hated and not knowing the reason pains me as much as my injuries.
Tears well in my eyes, but I blink them away. No one will see me weak and vulnerable.
No. One.
Instead, I puff up my chest. “Then why do you keep touching me?”
“I touch what’s mine whenever I fucking please.”
Anger bubbles under the surface, but I strike back in a cool tone. “Well, newsflash, Asher: I’ve decided I’m no longer yours. I’m calling off the engagement.”
I’m surprised I lasted this long. I should’ve ended the whole thing when he called me a monster in the hospital.
This is another one of Old Reina’s wrong decisions that I’m fixing for her.
You’ll thank me later, girl.
True, she was the one who got engaged to him and she has the right to end it on her own. However, I can’t possibly stay with this asshole when all he ever wants to do is hurt me.
I’m not that desperate.
Or fucking stupid.
He laughs, and the sound is as hollow as his soul. “That’s not how it works.”
“This is a free country. I won’t stay engaged to a freak like you.”
He watches me for long seconds as if my words fell on deaf ears. “We’ve been engaged since we were fifteen. It’s a family thing. Shut your mouth and go with it.”
“Or what?”
“Or you lose the glamorous life you love so much.” He tilts his head to the side. “The condition to receive your inheritance is to marry me.” He leans in and brushes his tongue along the sensitive skin he sucked on earlier. “Till death do us part, my ugly monster.”
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
Why the hell would my father do that?
My head becomes a jumbled mess. “But you obviously hate me. Why would you want to do this?”
Goosebumps
cover my skin as he says, “You owe me a life, and I’ll ruin yours as payback.”
Asher left me standing there.
Just like that. No Do you need help getting inside? Or anything remotely human.
Motherfucker.
I have to hobble for fifteen minutes to reach the entrance. Since I don’t remember this place, it takes me even longer. I don’t ask the others for help since that’s the same as admitting weakness.
As soon as I walk through the huge doors, an onslaught of students greets me.
“You’re okay, Reina?”
“How is the leg, Reina?”
“Is it true you were in a fire, Reina?”
“Are you cheering for the Devils this Friday?”
I try to smile, but it’s like my reaction is frozen beyond reach. I don’t know these people, and while I’m glad no one seems to recognize I don’t remember them, I don’t want to sound or appear rude.
After all, this is my college.
The attention in the halls is like having a vicious tongue lap my skin. I can see hatred behind some smiles, envy behind others. There are also eager faces, both male and female, who wave awkwardly as if they’re sure I won’t return them.
I figured I’d be popular considering the stupid-ass cheerleading position, but I never thought it would be this…fake.
So far, I haven’t met anyone who actually sees me, the person inside, not the face or the cheerleading uniform—though even I don’t know who the hell the person inside is.
I focus on my steps instead of the horde of people surrounding me. The halls are large, but I can’t breathe well with the crowd.
It’s worse that I don’t know where to go.
You should’ve planned this better.
Shut up, brain. I know that.
“Out of the way, fuckers,” howls a familiar voice from the other side of the hall.
Students trip over each other to make way for none other than Owen.
He grins from ear to ear, winking at a girl here and smacking another’s ass there. It’s like he thinks he’s a sex god blessing the peasants with his presence.
“Rei-Rei.” His grin turns into a wicked one as he drapes an arm around my shoulder. “I thought you were going to be a zombie for a bit more.”
“And I thought you’d stop being a pig by now.”