The Need in Me

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by Sophie Duncan


  ~*~

  Rob looked down at the over-priced guidebook he had felt obliged to buy when he and Buki had arrived at Tregwyn. He was discovering that he'd never make a good criminal, because, even though he hadn't a clue what they were going to do now they were in what had once been Julian's house, he was suffering from sweaty palms and an overwhelming sense of guilt in case it was anything dodgy.

  They were on the first floor, diligently following the polite set of ropes that guided tourists around the open parts of the house, but Rob came to a sudden halt at one of the red barriers and found himself staring down a prohibited corridor. He didn't so much see Julian as he did feel him and the sadness of the man overwhelmed any guilt Rob was feeling. Reticence gone, Rob stepped over the rope and, Buki in tow, strode in the direction Julian wanted him to go.

  Rob followed the tug on his emotions down the narrow hallway and round a corner. There he found a plain door, and, without hesitation, he grabbed the door handle and pushed it open. As soon as he smelt the musty air from the closed room, Rob's senses began to swim and he staggered forward.

  Again, he did not see Julian this time, but he felt him descend on him once more and the empty room ahead of him dissolved into a darkened bedroom. It was not a fine one, the bed had no drapery on it, just bare struts and beams where the curtains would once have been, but Rob knew it and the man with whom he had entered it was now missing. He was woozy, the effects of whatever had been on the cloth still clinging to his senses, but his alarm at being alone was enough to keep Rob pacing on the echoing wooden floor.

  The door was locked, he had hammered on it repeatedly after waking, but no-one had come. The evening had become night, but no-one had come with a lamp, only a bare candle Rob had found in the bedside drawer gave any light. He was angry and worried and he wanted John so much his chest was aching for him. He spun rapidly on the spot to face the door when he heard the lock being opened. He recognised the figure in the hallway immediately, his Uncle Frederick, and he rounded on the man, charging up to the disdain in him.

  "Where is John? How dare you do this to me!" he charged, stopping short of grabbing the man who had been the bane of his life since his father had died.

  "I dare because I have no wish to see you disgrace this family, Nephew," came the caustic reply.

  "Where is John?!" Rob demanded again, not really caring about anything else.

  "You will mention him no more."

  Rob couldn't believe what was happening, he'd found happiness in his godforsaken life and now it was being taken away.

  "I did what you wanted, I married a woman I did not love, I gave Tregwyn an heir. Now I want John!" he charged back the deal he had made at eighteen.

  "Your dalliances with your school friends could be tolerated, but not with a vagabond," Frederick snapped back and the disgust was in his face.

  "John had more skill in his little finger than any member of this household," Rob defended and, on his toes, he charged, "Where is he?"

  Rob ran then, past Frederick, away from the servant carrying the lamp in the hallway and the heavy set men behind that, anywhere to get away and find John, he had to find John. Bodies chased after him, but Rob had only one need, find John. His head still spinning and the darkness closing around him, Rob did not recognise the corridors of this lonely part of the house and so he just ran, hoping to make his escape. The floor boards became uneven and the walls tightened around him, causing him to stumble into them as he staggered forward, but with the sounds of pursuit close behind him, Rob pushed on, ignoring the grazes of the rough walls on his arms and face.

  His pursuers were faster than him and they were on his heels as Rob was forced up a flight of bent old steps. He kicked out as hands reached for his ankles and someone fell back with a yelp, but the pull still brought him to his hands and knees and he scrabbled out through a door onto the roof on his hands and knees. The world was still not a steady place and Rob staggered sideways as he forced himself to his feet, but he managed to stop himself stumbling over the edge. However, he was cornered and all Rob could do was turn and face his assailants as Frederick and his men forced their way after him.

  Trapped, Rob only had his need to sustain him and, voice echoing out over the dark grounds three storeys below, he demanded, "Where is he?"

  His face lit by his people's torches, Frederick could have not looked more demonic as he regarded Rob with the same mutual hatred they had shared for years. However, a twitch of a smile at the corner of his uncle's mouth made Rob's heart flicker and he knew he was losing.

  "We found this in his clothes," Frederick held out something that Rob had to move closer to see in the gloom. "He was stealing from you, Nephew, a common thief, no more."

  Rob looked down and saw the small card case and his heart fell: there was only one punishment for thieves in their isolated county.

  "He is hanged, Nephew," Frederick told him.

  "I gave him that as a gift," Rob moaned, but his fight was gone, he knew it was too late for John and for him.

  Frederick did not seem surprised by the news and Rob knew he had been deliberately betrayed. The man did show surprise when, defeated and cold, Rob asked, "Where is he hanged?"

  "Forget him, Nephew."

  Life was over, there was nothing else and Rob turned towards the edge of the roof.

  "I have to find John," he muttered and then he ran.

  "No!" Buki yelled in his ear and pulled him down.

  Rob came back to himself on his knees only feet from a low railing at the edge of the roof, Buki holding onto him for dear life. He gasped and tried to shake the remnants of the vision, but he still felt the imperative and he explained it to Buki, "I must find John."

  "Who the hell are you and what are you doing up here?" an annoyed voice interrupted his thoughts and Rob shied away as he saw the shadow of a tall man flanked by two more.

  It took Rob a couple of blinks to realise he was looking up at the person in the guide book, Lord Peter Hellyer, current owner of Tregwyn and his anger at what the Hellyer family had done to Julian and John found a target. He climbed unsteadily to his feet and, reaching into his pocket, walked up to his unsuspecting host. His fingers closed around the card case. He held it out and asked, "Where is John Tavener?"

  From the shock in the other man's face, Rob knew the name had been recognised, even with the centuries in between, so he pressed again, "Where was he hanged?"

  "How do you know that name?" Hellyer asked, clearly uneasy at its mention.

  In response, Rob felt the little box twitch in his hand and so he let go as it was tugged out of his hand. Hellyer staggered backwards as the box hit him square in the chest and his security duo moved forward, but, even though the man had gone white, he held up his hands and stopped them moving forward.

  "Julian wants to know," Rob began to calm down as he saw guilt in Hellyer's face.

  Slowly, Hellyer reached down and picked up the box that had fallen at his feet, he looked at it and Rob gave him time to review it and whatever his family knew of its history. Finally, he looked back up at Rob and he held the box back out to him.

  "Legend says he was hanged and buried on Bodmin Moor where the road from Bolventor to Lewannick crosses the one from Altarnun to North Hill."

  Rob took the box and nodded to Peter Hellyer, the ancient guilt in the modern man was obvious and Rob wondered what happened in this lonely part of the grand house that kept alive the legend that wasn't in any guide book. Yet there was no time for such questions, he had the imperative from Julian and, with only a glance back at Buki, he ran past the security guards and back off the roof.

  ~*~

  Rob knew the moor well, he'd spent many hours cycling around it as a child and he knew where they were heading. The tragedy he had been shown kept him quiet and he let Buki drive with only minimal directions. There was a knot of tension in his chest by the time he recognised the junction where what was now the A30 met with the smaller road where John's scaffold woul
d be.

  "Here," he managed to force out the instruction, but his senses were inside now and he could feel Julian all around him, angry and hopeful.

  Buki pulled up on the rough moorland verge and Rob stumbled out of the car, card box held close to his chest. His senses were swimming with the weight of Julian's presence and he fell to his knees, caring only about the past, not the present. The pain in his possessor was almost as great as his anticipation and he could not stifle a sob as the emotions overtook him.

  Rob looked out across the sunlit moor, lost as he failed to see any sign of a grave in the landscape, let alone where a gibbet could have been. He'd known all the stories from the moor, this was not one of the common locations for hanging, no ghosts were seen here on lonely windy nights. However, then his eyes fell on one bent and broken old tree. It was dead now, but it had once been tall, the only high feature on the flat landscape.

  As his attention focused down onto the gnarled remains of the old tree, Rob felt his world shift again and then he saw him, a tall, dark figure standing close to the tree and his stomach did somersaults as he recognised the face of John Tavener. Rob met gazes with the man who had been murdered for his love of a noble and he was surprised when he saw no anger in that experience-lined, handsome face. Instead, he was greeted with a smile, a wide, open gesture and Rob knew what had drawn Julian to him.

  However, he could not return the smile, because Julian was still with him. Rob could feel the tumult of emotions that had kept the man's presence with the little box for so long and he also felt Julian's overwhelming guilt at being the cause of John's death. The emotion from Julian was staggering and Rob began to shake as it grew too much. His heart was hammering in his chest and he could not move from his kneeling position. Yet, John provided the release valve, he held out his hand to the two men in one body and Rob let out another sob of relief and love and pain as two centuries of torment came to an end.

  Rob felt Julian leave him, the young noble's presence and his emotions swept out of him and he collapsed forward onto his hands as the passing took the wind out of him. Then he saw Julian properly for the first time, standing in front of him, slender and pale, dressed in fine breaches and a loose white shirt that was blowing in the gentle moorland breeze. After being the centre of Julian's attention for so long, Rob was left feeling bereft, but the emptiness was a relief after the weight of centuries.

  As Julian began to cross the scrubland between the road and John, Rob did not need to see the young man's face to know love when he saw it. All the fear and melancholy of the last few days washed out of Rob in a rush of joy as he watched Julian reach the tree. John's hand had barely touched his hip before Julian leant forward and moulded himself to John with a passion that made Rob's heart sing.

  The men kissed, but it was a fleeting expression, because Julian broke it and buried his head into John's shoulder. Even at distance, Rob could see him shaking with the mixture of grief and delight that he had carried in his heart as well. John whispered something then that Rob could not hear and then the image blurred and Rob realised he was crying and then there were arms around him as well.

  Buki pulled him back against his chest and Rob collapsed where he was taken, drained emotionally and physically.

  "I see them too," Buki murmured, somewhere between wonder and fear, and his hold tightened.

  Rob wiped his eyes with his sleeve, but the entwined figures in front of him remained misty and he knew that now, finally united, they were fading away. Part of him didn't want them to go, since the joy after the pain had been so fleeting, but the tumbling emotions that were still ghosting his psyche were too much to sustain, and so, as the couple melted into the background, Rob held the card case in one hand, Buki's arm with the other and let his muscles turn to water.

  As Buki laid a tender kiss on his neck, Rob breathed contentedly, "It's over."

  ####

  Also from Wittegen Press

  http://www.wittegenpress.com/allbooks

  Afterword

  About Wittegen Press:

  Wittegen Press is a small independent publisher of eBooks based in the UK. We publish on many eBook sites. To see our whole catalogue please visit our website.

  http://www.wittegenpress.com

  About Sophie

  Sophie was born with the writing bug in her blood, boring her primary school teachers with pages of creative writing and killing her first typewriter from over use when she was thirteen. She began publishing her work on line while at university where she discovered the internet and fanfiction. It took another decade for Sophie to realise her long-time dream of releasing her own original fiction.

  http://www.wittegenpress.com/sophieduncan

 

 

 


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