It was a short call. Less than five minutes and she wondered if she were making a big mistake. It didn’t feel like it, but she had never been able to trust her feelings. Not the surface ones anyway.
Bob didn’t show up all day, and Cora was starting to think he wasn’t going to. Maybe he’d gotten her text and just never responded. That was fine by her.
After supper, she helped the kids with their schoolwork while Abner washed dishes with Summer on a chair and Luna sitting on the counter.
It was dark, of course, and the wind howled outside. She felt a little isolated, but in a cozy, her family was all together way. It was an odd feeling, but one she liked. Only the next time, she was going to sit at the other end of the table so she could look up and stare at Abner all she wanted.
She’d just finished giving Andrew his spelling words and was about to send the older boys to get showered when, above the wind, there was a knock at the door.
She lifted her head and turned to look at Abner, who was already looking at her. His brow lifted in question.
“I don’t know,” she said in response, assuming that he was asking her if it was Bob.
He didn’t say anything but grabbed Luna off the counter and went to the door.
A blast of icy air swept through the room as Abner opened the door and Bob walked in.
Cora’s body stiffened like the frozen ground outside.
“Hey, Uncle Bob!” Andrew jumped up and ran over to him.
As he usually did, Bob reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a candy bar. “Hey, kid. Long time no see.”
It was the candy bar that did it. All her other kids, the five that could walk, anyway, went running to Bob.
Abner looked at her, his expression saying, “Are you really going to let the kids eat candy now?”
She pushed back and stood, thinking she would walk to him and make sure he understood that she’d texted Bob about not coming after all.
His eyes widened as she walked to him, like he was surprised. Maybe he expected her to be all over welcoming Bob.
But the surprise turned to wariness. And when she reached out to put her arm around him, pressing her body to his and lifting her head, he was as stiff as a statue. His brows had lowered, and his eyes narrowed.
“I’m going out for a while,” he said abruptly, pulling away so quickly she almost lost her balance.
He shoved his feet in his boots and disappeared out into the night without taking his hat or coat.
She managed to keep the kids from eating the candy, promising they could have it in the morning; hopefully it didn’t make them hyper for school.
“I need to put these guys to bed,” she said to Bob.
“That’s fine,” he said smoothly, his grin easy. “I can hang out here at the table until you’re done.”
She nodded, taking the little ones into their bedroom and sending the boys to brush their teeth and shower.
She’d gotten used to Abner helping her. The kids missed him too. Bob was easy to look at, he was a nice guy, and he’d make some lucky girl a great husband, but she really wanted him to leave. She had a man who was better than all the Bobs in the world, and she’d hurt him. Not intentionally but she knew she had nonetheless.
Probably if things were fine between them, Bob being there wouldn’t have been that big of a deal. But because of what she’d asked of him and because of how she’d not straightened things up between Abner and her, it had worsened everything.
Finally, she had the children all cleaned up, changed, and tucked in. She closed their door softly and walked into the kitchen where Bob was still sitting at the table and doing something on his phone.
“Can I get you something to drink? Are you hungry?” she asked.
“No, I’m good. I’ve got a reservation at the next town west of here but figured I’d stop in and say hi.”
“I see.” She hated to mention the text she’d sent.
He shut his phone off but flipped it over and over in his hand.
“I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your emails,” he finally said.
She clasped her hands in front of her on the table and looked at them. So, he had gotten them but just ignored her. Figured.
He put one hand over hers, and she froze. It took her three seconds to think to move out from under it, but by then, he had leaned closer.
“I’m sorry. Really, I am. When I offered you a place to stay, you only had three kids.” His hand squeezed. “Seriously, Cora, I don’t know any man who would be interested in having six kids, even if they were his, living in his house. You do understand this, right?”
His head had lowered, and his eyes were staring into hers.
That’s when the door opened and Abner walked in.
Chapter 20
Abner stood in the barn, the familiar smell of musty hay mixing with the tangier scent of old cow manure. He’d decided while Cora was gone that he couldn’t make her want to stay with him. Of course he couldn’t.
He also realized, quite clearly, at some point he had wanted Cora and her children to be the family he’d always wanted, and maybe he was pushing too hard for what he wanted and not stepping back and allowing her to be what she needed to be. Even if that didn’t include him.
Easier said than done, he supposed, since he couldn’t stand to see her with Bob.
He might love her, but he also couldn’t stand to have her use him again. So when she’d come over and, for the first time, voluntarily put her arm around him, it had taken him a few seconds to realize that it was Stephen all over again, because he wanted it to be real for him.
Yeah, he might love her, but it was easy for that love to feel more like hate when she’d taken everything he’d done and thrown it back in his face.
He hadn’t done anything to make her love him, he’d done it because he loved her, but he had to draw the line at her using him.
Except...
Isn’t that where he got in trouble before? Thinking that he knew everything and not giving her a chance to explain?
He searched back over his memories, but he just couldn’t see any other explanation for this. Everything had to be the way he thought it was.
But that’s what he’d thought before. It’s what had caused all the years of loneliness and longing for him and pain for Cora.
It took him an hour to come to his senses, but when he did, it wasn’t hard to decide what to do.
He opened the door to his home, ready to give his wife whatever support she needed.
But his first look almost made him turn around and walk right back out.
Bob held Cora’s hand on the table, and their heads were bent down together like they were sharing secrets.
He closed the door. “Maybe it’s time for you to leave.” He leveled his gaze at Bob.
Cora stood immediately. “I agree. I wish you the best with everything, and don’t worry, I won’t ask to stay with you again. I never got to tell you that Abner and I are married.”
Bob’s head jerked back. His eyes immediately went to Cora’s bare left hand.
Abner should have made time to offer her the ring he’d bought. It should have been a priority.
“Hey, well, congratulations.” He stood. “Guess some of those kids are his, huh?” He was looking at Cora, but Abner answered.
“All of them are.”
He didn’t feel like it was a lie. They were going to be as much his as he could make them and Cora would let them be.
“Guess I’ll be heading out then,” Bob said in the awkward silence that had descended.
Cora didn’t say anything when the door closed behind Bob. Eventually, they heard his car start. The lights came on, and he pulled out.
Abner shoved his hands in his pockets, knowing he should apologize but not wanting to at all.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry.”
They laughed, a little strained, as their apologies came out together.
He didn’t really wa
nt to sit at the table where she’d just been with Bob and have a serious discussion with her, but there really wasn’t anywhere else.
“Do you have a few minutes?” he asked, feeling more awkward than he wanted to admit to.
“Yes, I really do need to talk to you.”
Oh, that’s right. She’d said she wanted to talk, and he imagined it wasn’t anything good. He could take this. Whatever it was, he could take it.
“Do you want to sit? I can get you a drink.”
“How about you sit. And I’ll get you something.” He went to the sink, trying to keep his hands from shaking, and filled two water glasses.
They clinked as he set them on the table. Even the wind seemed to quit blowing, and silence filled the kitchen.
He pulled a chair out. Not the one that Bob was sitting in. He laid his hand out, palm up, on the table. Asking without words.
She placed hers in it, not hesitating.
Their eyes met. His own uncertainty reflected back to him.
“I did a lot of thinking while I was alone in the hotel room.” She breathed deep then lifted her face to meet his eyes.
“I did a lot of thinking while you were gone too.” He still didn’t know what was going on with Bob and her, but he was encouraged that she didn’t fight for Bob to stay or, worse, to go with him. “I can’t make you stay.”
“You don’t have to.”
“It’s what I want. But I guess I never really told you why.”
“You want a family.”
“I do. It’s one of my dreams. I can’t deny it.” His thumb stroked over her hand. Her skin soft against the callouses on his thumb. “But that’s not the biggest reason.”
“Oh?”
“I...” He wanted to rub his hands over his jeans, felt like they were sweating and his pulse was jumping out of his skin. “I fell for you before. All those years ago, that short time we dated, I fell in love with you.” Her mouth opened, but he continued before she could say anything. “I was too proud to say so, and you’re right, I left, thinking the worst of you, when you didn’t deserve it.” He swallowed against the tightness in his throat and blew a breath out. “I don’t want to make that mistake again. Or any new ones.” He smiled a little, but it faded almost immediately. He’d never been more serious. “I love you. It’s not contingent on what you decide to do, or where you go, or where you live, or even who you live with. I guess I’m just stubborn and persistent. Because I loved you when you were nineteen and I’ll love you when you’re ninety and what you do isn’t going to change how I feel about you, because it doesn’t change who you are.”
Her hand came up to cup his cheek. “That was beautiful.”
That statement felt like it would have a “but” after it, and he braced himself, even as he pressed his cheek against her warmth.
“I love you, too.” She ran her finger over the vein in his hand. “I want to stay. If you’ll have me.”
“Here?” The word came out, almost a squeak. “Wait. Go back to that last.”
“Huh?”
“Where you said you loved me.”
“Oh.” Her brown eyes sparkled. “I love you.”
“Louder?”
She leaned forward. “You want me to wake the kids?”
He had to smile. “I want them to hear it. I want the whole world to hear it.”
“I’m sorry, but no one is going to hear it out here where we’re at.”
He sobered immediately. “Are you going to be able to stay here? You gotta be pretty rugged, and it’s isolated, and—”
“Shh.” She put a finger on his lips. “I want to be where you are.”
Her finger dropped and he missed it immediately.
He tilted his head. “I thought you didn’t want to be dependent on a man again?”
“I didn’t.” She nodded, then sighed. “But when I was at that hotel, alone, I realized that it wasn’t just me. That we’d be dependent on each other.” She looked at him from under her lashes. “I thought maybe you needed me almost as much as I needed you.”
“I’m only half of what I could be without you.” It was so true. “I can do it. I can live without you. And if you get that job in Cincinnati, I know I need to let you go. But everything I am is made better when you’re with me.” He grinned and shrugged. “Plus, life’s just more fun when you’re around.”
“Teasing me does not count.”
“It’s flirting.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. And you give it right back. You know it.”
“Well...” She grinned at him, and his heart turned over, like a dog wanting its belly rubbed. “I got the job in Cincinnati.”
His insides shriveled, and his smile faded.
Her lips pursed. “They called today. It didn’t take me long to tell them I’m not taking it.”
It took three seconds for that to sink in. He laughed. “That was not teasing. That was torture.”
“No. Torture is you, sitting on your hands and only letting me kiss you once.”
“Whoa. I was the one being tortured in that scenario.”
She tilted her head. “I guess we could switch places. Then we’d know for sure who was being tortured.”
“I’d like to kiss you some, wife.” He knew his grin was wolfish. “And I want to touch you while I’m doing it.”
“I’m good with that.” Her eyes twinkled. “Under one condition.”
“I’m not sure I want conditions on this.”
“I don’t want you sleeping in the barn.”
His smile faded. He couldn’t stop the jumping of his heart, but what he wanted couldn’t supersede what Cora needed.
“I don’t want to be like the rest of the men in your life.”
Her hand tightened on his. “There’s no chance of that. I know I’m dumb and slow at times, but I’ve known almost from the first that you weren’t like the other guys. I’d just made a decision and I was so determined not to screw up again. Plus,” her eyes dropped and she studied their joined hands. “I was scared,” she whispered.
“No,” he hissed, his hand going to her face. He stood, pulling her up. “Don’t be scared.”
“I’m sorry.”
He put his arms around her, wishing he could take her fear.
“I know you’re not like them, but I’d made so many bad choices. I didn’t trust myself to make another one, and I was so scared that I’d screw up, yet again. Trusting you and being let down would be even worse because of how I feel about you.”
His heart pushed against his chest with every strong beat.
“Rationally I knew you would do everything you said you would, but emotionally, my heart was just afraid to trust.” Her hands moved over his back and he closed his eyes.
“Was?”
“Yes. I’m not saying I don’t have moments of anxiety, but I know we’re making the right decision.”
“I don’t want there to be any anxiety.” He took her long ponytail and wrapped his hand around it, tugging gently, pulling her head up to look at him.
“I’ve done everything so wrong,” she whispered.
He shook his head. “We have six beautiful children. They’re the silver lining in everything.”
She pulled both her lips in and he knew she wasn’t completely convinced.
“Let’s not look back. We can’t fix anything behind us. But we can go forward. Together.”
Her lips pursed and her jaw jutted out a little. “Just like that?”
He nodded. “We make the choice. Then we stick to it. Whatever comes, we just stick.”
“It sounds easy.”
“If we’re both holding on, and don’t let go, it will be.”
She nodded slowly as though thinking about his words. He could almost see the change as she pushed away the last of her fear and decided to trust them. Her body moved. Just a slight shift, but it yanked his heart and sent a shockwave through his veins.
“I think this is where you kiss me,” s
he whispered, looking up.
He swallowed, wanting to, but, “Are you sure? It’ll kill me to see regret in your eyes tomorrow morning.”
“Then you’d better kiss me, because the only thing I’ll regret is you leaving.”
His lips curved up as his head lowered. “I guess that means I’m gonna wake up beside you.”
Her smile matched his and she tugged his head down. He allowed it, putting his hands around her, feeling her soft curves before his lips touched hers.
It was different than before, more fierce, knowing he didn’t have to hold back or pull away because she’d chosen him.
A long time later he lay in the dark in the bedroom that he’d made to be hers, but had become theirs tonight. Her hair lay spread over his chest and he stroked the soft strands, knowing he’d never get tired of feeling it run through his fingers.
Her head lay on his arm and one of her legs was thrown over his, but she wasn’t sleeping. Her fingers lightly traced over his ribs and he figured she could do that for about ten years and he wouldn’t want her to quit.
He might be sleepy and deliciously tired, but he wouldn’t drift off until she stopped. He’d waited years. There was no way he’d miss a second of her touch.
“Abner?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
Well, it didn’t sound like regret, anyway, but it confused him a little. “For what?”
“Where most people would look at me and see all my mistakes, you looked at me and saw something worth loving. I’m still not sure I understand it, but thank you.”
“We all make mistakes, and we all have reasons for them. You could have hated me forever for walking out on you without giving you a chance to explain.” He ran his hand down the soft skin of her arm. “You figured out a way to love me anyway.”
She grunted.
A LITTLE BODY LANDED on Cora, startling her from a pretty nice dream. She grunted as a sharp knee pushed into her stomach.
“Why is Mr. Abner in your bed?” Summer asked, standing beside her bed and looking down at her while Luna crawled across her to Abner.
Cora blinked once, before sitting straight up, clutching the blanket to her chest. “I never set the alarm. Oh, rats. You guys are going to be late for school.”
Cowboys Don't Marry Their Enemy (Sweet Water Ranch Western Cowboy Romance Book 9) Page 17