by Hayden Wolfe
Her question tainted all her memories of their time together. It had probably ruined any of the good ones he’d still managed to retain of her too.
An apology sat on the tip of her tongue. She didn’t bother uttering it. It was better this way. Let him hate her. She deserved his animosity.
Kyle cleared his throat and tugged up his jeans, breaking their connection. He carefully zipped, then yanked off his shirt. With it turned inside out, he stepped behind her and pressed a hand between her shoulder blades, pushing her down. She didn’t resist. She knew exactly what he’d do.
Using his knee, he nudged her thighs. She spread them wider, exposing herself to him. Her breathing quickened. The anticipation of his touch left her as excited as his kisses had.
Seconds passed, maybe longer. She didn’t move, though. She waited. If Kyle didn’t want to relive this memory, she wouldn’t push him for it. Actually, part of her would be relieved. She didn’t need the reminder that Kyle was the only lover who’d ever cared for her body in such an intimate way.
Yes, it would be better for her sanity if he didn’t finish this. She glanced over her shoulder and met his gaze. The intensity in his eyes stopped her heart a second time. Without breaking his focused stare, he dragged the flannel shirt over her sensitive lower lips. Slowly. Purposefully. She shivered. Her breath escaped on a shaky exhale. He grinned and finished wiping the evidence of their loving away, then grabbed her discarded panties, shoving them into his back pocket.
That done, he snaked his arm around her chest and drew her against him. He pressed his mouth to her ear. The brush of his lips stirred more memories. They’d often snuck off together, finding semi-private places to have sex. Whispering and muffling the sounds of their loving had been a necessity to avoid getting caught. Those times had been exciting. No other lover had ever been able to match the thrill being with Kyle had brought.
Thoughts such as those were going to send her spiraling into depression. Again. No. She couldn’t let that happen. She was too old to fight the dark emotion. It had taken her years to rise above it last time. She had to focus on the tingling awareness skipping through her, not the memories her traitorous heart exposed.
“Now you know me, doll. I don’t condone cheating.”
She’d hurt him. That much was clear from his response. Would it make the situation better if she told him how many times she’d been cheated on? Probably. She held back the words. “A girl’s got to make sure, is all.”
He caught her earlobe between his teeth and nibbled. “Don’t you think you should’ve asked me before I slid my dick inside you?”
“I meant to.” She skimmed her hand over his groin. His length stirred under her palm. She fingered the open button on his jeans and fought the urge to free his penis. No other lover had ever matched Kyle’s lovemaking skills either. “You distracted me.”
He made a pleased sound, a groan low in his throat that tightened her belly. “Actually, I do have a girl in my life. Her name’s Mindy.”
A child? Kyle had a kid. The thought filled her with sadness and regret. Kyle had a child to love. She didn’t even have fish.
“How old is she?”
Silence met her question.
She glanced at him. A wide grin spread over his face. She narrowed her eyes even as her heart lightened. “Let me guess. Mindy’s a dog.”
He chuckled. “Nope, dogs are too much work. They require attention and love. I don’t have time in my life for that. Mindy’s a cat who only cares if I put food in her bowl and scoop her litter box. Half the time, I don’t even see her.”
“Oh.” She wasn’t sure what to make of his statement. Or why she suddenly cared what he had going on that ate up all his time. But the urge to find out what he’d done with his life took hold. “Where did you end up working?”
Hopefully not the mines. The very thought of Kyle hundreds of feet below ground chilled her.
He took her hand in his, snagged her bag, and led her toward his truck. “I started my own construction business.”
“Really?”
He leveled an irritated glare at her. “Yeah, really. I even went to college.”
Guilt rushed up and choked her. “I didn’t mean to imply—”
“Don’t waste your breath. I don’t care to hear your apology.”
Well, he was getting it anyway because she felt like shit. Bad enough she’d always hated the way she’d ended things with him. She sure as hell didn’t want him to think she’d left because she thought he was stupid.
“I just didn’t expect you to have picked construction. You only ever talked about taking over your parents’ farm.”
He cracked his jaw. “I was seventeen, had my future all planned out, and wanted something safe. No financial risk, you know?” He shoved her bag behind the passenger seat and faced her, arms crossed over his muscled chest. “Things changed, and I decided to take a chance on something different. Hell, I even considered joining the Marines like Jack had, but the construction business landed in my lap instead. Perfect timing, I guess.”
He’d thought about joining the Marines? Leaving Sander’s Valley?
Anger gripped her, sending her pulse racing. The last summer they were together, right before their senior year in high school, she’d pleaded with him to consider moving to Virginia with her, if only to go to college. They could’ve lived in the boathouse on her mom’s property rent-free.
He’d refused every suggestion. Had told her there was no reason to move when everything he needed was in Sander’s Valley. It was then that she’d known her mom had been right. She’d said the valley boys were like that, always put their town first, even before the women they supposedly loved. Ronnie hadn’t believed her mom until Kyle had shut down every one of her suggestions.
And now he tells her this? After I agonized over my decision? Questioned for years whether she’d made the right choice?
He shrugged, and the ripples of his muscles caught her eye. Her womb quivered, despite her annoyance. “It’s been an adventure. Ups and downs, but I’m happy.”
“I’m glad.” And she was. She simply hated that he was happy without her.
She understood her reaction was unreasonable. She’d left him so he could have the life he’d wanted. As much as she’d loved him, nothing would’ve made her move to Sander’s Valley permanently. She’d had obligations and a life in Virginia. At the moment, walking away so he could find a valley girl to build his perfect little life with didn’t feel as self-righteous as she’d always convinced herself, especially in the face of his revelation.
He settled his calloused hands on her waist and lifted her onto the vinyl bench seat, scattering her thoughts once more. The dome light showed the cuts and scars on his fingers and arms. She traced a long white line up his forearm. The short hairs tickled her fingertips and skipped sparks of electricity across her skin.
Unlike the artists and models she’d dated over the years, Kyle had a workingman’s physique, a little rough and a lot drool-worthy. Growing up on a farm had given him a defined body in high school, but he’d filled out since then. He’d also added a couple of inches and developed a chiseled face that soaked her panties with only a look.
Regret gripped her along with resentment. Why did he have to be so stubborn?
Why did she?
He caught her hand and held it against his bicep. “Are you ready to get out of here?”
She nodded.
He closed the car door and walked around the hood of his truck. She followed him with her gaze. She couldn’t take her eyes off his strong profile. He was gorgeous. The most beautiful man she’d ever seen.
A lifetime of memories danced across her mind. Laughing, playing, making love. Sweet heaven, he’d made her so happy.
Tears pricked her eyes.
The driver’s door opened. She looked out the side window so he wouldn’t see her expression. There was a good chance guilt and regret showed on her face. Both emotions churned her belly too.
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The truck turned over with a loud grumble. At the end of the road, he turned and caught her gaze. A small vee formed between his brows. He trailed his knuckles over the bruised side of her face. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
Warmed by his concern, she slid her hand over his. “No, I’m fine. Really I am. I told you, it looks worse than it is.”
Luckily he hadn’t undressed her. The marks on her chest were worse.
He nodded but didn’t pull his hand away or break their heavy stare. There was a demand in his gaze. For what, she didn’t know. She couldn’t bring herself to ask either. If he questioned her as to why she’d left him, she might break down and sob. Although she wasn’t one to cry, her emotions had been running high since her mother had been killed. That wasn’t an experience she wanted to share either.
A brick wall had dropped into her life with her mom’s death, and she hadn’t quite figured out how to get past it. She would. She was an Axel. Nothing stopped them from succeeding. At the moment, however, she felt beaten down. Weak.
Vulnerable.
No. She had no room in her life for those emotions either.
The blue numbers of the clock finally registered. Three twenty-seven. She sighed. “It’s not worth driving me out to St. Marlowe to get a room. If you can just drop me off at the diner in town, I’ll hole up in one of the booths until the repair shop opens.” She nibbled her lip. “The diner still opens at four, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.” She glanced at the trunk in the back. “Hopefully they won’t mind if I bring my stuff inside.”
“Doubt it.”
“Great.” She plastered her practiced smile on her face. “I guess you really are my hero. I would’ve been quite annoyed once I got to the cabin.”
He didn’t move, not to pull onto the road or to turn away from her. He simply stared at her. She resisted the urge to smooth her hair or skirt. Signs of nervousness weren’t allowed in business or in dealings with Kyle Sander. Both would use them against her.
She cocked a brow. “Well, are we going or not?”
He shrugged and pulled out. “I was waiting to see how long it’d take you to realize that it’s now Sunday and the garage is closed.”
“Shit.”
“Ronnie Axel cursing?” He chuckled. “Now that’s something I hadn’t expected to hear again. I didn’t think people like you stooped to using vulgarities.”
“People like me?”
He flashed her another smile, a crooked one that made him look like a boy again. “Artists, socialites, rich people.” He shrugged. “Whatever it is you call yourself.”
He was trying to rile her, play with her like he used to do. She wanted no part of it, not because it wouldn’t be fun. Time spent with Kyle had always been pleasurable. He could make her smile, laugh, and moan without much effort. No matter what game they’d played, however, she’d always ended up bent over something with his cock inside her. One reminder of what she’d turned her back on was enough for tonight. She couldn’t deal with the prospect of falling back in love with him.
The break-in that had left her with bruises and her mom dead had shaken her, but the reading of her mom’s will had sent her life into a tailspin.
She’d always known her mom had kept secrets. She just hadn’t expected them to involve her. Or to learn she’d been the reason her parents’ marriage had failed. The juicy details were waiting for her, though. Ronnie had her mom to thank for that. She’d confessed her sins in a letter, then stashed it in one of the many storage units her mom had rented around the country.
Ronnie didn’t want to learn the details of her parents’ troubled relationship. There was no point. They were both dead. Too bad she didn’t have a choice. Reading her mom’s letter had been a condition of her mom’s estate. One of many. Her mother had been just as demanding in death as she’d been in life.
“I didn’t mean to piss you off, Ronnie.”
“You didn’t. I was just thinking.” She reached behind the seat, retrieved her cell phone, and opened a web search. She needed a taxi. “To answer your question, I didn’t major in art. I can paint, but I’m not anywhere near as good as my dad had been. I opted for the practical side of the art world. I ended up graduating with dual degrees in marketing and business. I run the auctions and deal with the financial part of the gallery. Mom had acted as a liaison for the artists and buyers.”
She shook her head. “I’m going to need to start looking for someone to replace her. I’ve been trying to handle her duties on top of mine, but I never realized how much ass-kissing and game playing she did. Artists are not easy people to deal with, and I’ve learned the hard way it’s not something I’m good at.”
“Aw, fuck, doll.” He pulled over and threw the truck into park. “I’m a goddamn asshole.”
He reached across the seat, unbuckled her, and pulled her close, burying her head against his bare chest. His scent seeped into her lungs, so familiar and strong. She dragged in a breath and held it, needing it inside her.
“You told me she was murdered, and I didn’t even say I’m sorry.” He ran his hands over her back. “I am. Dear God, I’m so sorry.”
She swallowed hard. “It’s okay. You never even met her.” Because Mom had hated the valley and refused to step foot into it.
He pressed his lips to her temple. “Doesn’t matter. She created you.”
She squeezed her eyelids shut. Moisture seeped out anyway. Kyle hit all her triggers and made her act like a fool. Crying didn’t do any good. “Thank you.”
“I’m also sorry for not being there for you.” He wrapped his arms tighter around her. “Hell, I’m sorry about a lot of things.”
“Me too.” Her voice cracked, and she hated the weakness. Damn if she could stop it.
She’d been on an emotional roller coaster with nobody to lean on. Kyle’s arms around her promised to protect her and make everything better. He couldn’t. She knew that. It didn’t stop her from linking her hands around his neck and wishing that life had turned out differently.
“Why did you come back?”
She pushed from his embrace and looked out the rear window at the wooden trunk sitting in the truck bed. “You know my mom was an artist too, right?”
She’d rarely talked about her mom growing up. It had always put a sad look on her dad’s face, so she’d made a point of telling stories about her tutors and friends instead. Kyle had never really asked too many details either.
“Yeah and that her work hangs in some major galleries.”
“She made things for my dad all the time. As part of her will, she asked me to take a collection of things to him.”
The loss of her entire family hurt. She dropped her head against the back of the seat and tried to breathe through the pain.
“She wrote the will before he was diagnosed with cancer?”
Kyle’s steady voice pulled her back from the edge. She glanced at him. He watched her intently, sympathy softening his expression.
“Yes, and I didn’t want her artwork to just sit in storage, so I figured I’d hang them in his cabin.”
He turned her face toward him and kissed her cheeks then her eyes. She hadn’t realized her tears had spilled over. “I think he’d like that.”
“I’m not so sure. They never really got along, but I have to honor my mom’s wishes. I did so for my dad when he died.”
“What did he ask you to do?”
“To give my mom a package. I did. She never opened it.”
He sighed. “I’ll help you hang them tomorrow, okay?”
“No, I’m not going up there. I can’t deal with it. I thought I could but look at me.” She motioned to her face. “I’m getting teary-eyed just talking about it. I shouldn’t be breaking down in front of you.”
He cracked his jaw. His body tensed.
She’d hurt him again. Or pissed him off. She hadn’t meant to do either. Besides, he’d brought the topic up.
She slipped fr
om his arms and snatched her phone from where it had fallen on the seat. She really needed that taxi. And a hotel room far away from Kyle.
“If you can’t break down in front of me, then who has the right to comfort you?”
The reason for his irritation became clear. He was jealous. Why?
“Well?”
His command didn’t give her the chance to dissect Kyle’s mood. She couldn’t think objectively at the moment anyway.
“I have friends.”
“Where are they? Shouldn’t they be here with you, giving you support?” He pointedly glanced at her phone. “You didn’t speed dial or text any of them when your car broke down or when you decided to haul twenty pounds of your mom’s artwork up a mountain.”
She looked away. He caught her chin and turned her head to face him. “Why not, Ronnie?”
“I didn’t want anyone to know I came out here.”
“And why is that? Afraid of what people will think when you tell them your dad had lived here? That you spent your summers here?” He leaned closer. Anger glinted in his eyes. “With me.”
“You want the truth, huh?”
“Yeah, I want the fucking truth.”
He stared at her, the demand in his eyes clear, but the words got stuck in her throat.
He grunted. “I never would’ve thought you were a coward. I guess I never really knew you.”
She flinched, knowing it was the truth. She was a coward. Just like her mom.
He put the truck in drive. They peeled out. “Fine. Keep your damn secrets.”
“They’re not my secrets. They’re my mom’s. She told everyone that I went to a private boarding school for the summer. She’d also been quite adamant that she didn’t know where my father was. According to her, he left when he found out she was pregnant and never came back.”
He muttered a curse but didn’t respond otherwise. Several minutes passed in silence before the car stopped. He turned the key, and the ticking of the diesel engine filled the chasm her words had caused.
Finally, he laid a hand over hers. “Tell me everything.”
His firm yet gentle tone forced the words from her mouth. “My mom told so many lies over the years. It got to the point that she couldn’t admit the truth without confessing all of her deceptions. That would’ve made Mom lose the respect of the art community. At least, that’s my opinion of why she kept building this secret world she lived in.”