by Holly Rayner
Alex laughed. “I doubt that, but his Daddy would more than appreciate the time to get to know his mother.”
After we finished our dinner and dessert, we went up and checked on Michael. He was still sleeping like the angel that he is. Alex took my hands and said, “You need to get some rest before he’s waking up to eat again.”
I nodded. “Where am I sleeping?” I hate to admit it, but I was hoping that he’d say he wanted me to sleep with him.
“The guest room right next door will be close for you, will that be fine?”
I forced a smile. “Perfect,” I said. I know that we agreed to take this all slow… so he was right, we shouldn’t sleep together so soon, but my hopes were still dashed, right up to the point where his arms encircled me and his hazel eyes hooded as he looked down at my mouth. I automatically reached up and slid my fingers into his hair. I love his thick, dark hair. I raked my fingers through it and he moaned as his mouth came down to meet mine. He kissed me then, letting his tongue dance against mine and then he pulled back slightly, letting those exquisite full lips graze across mine a few times before pulling back. I was breathless and my knees were weak.
“I wanted to do that for two weeks. Since you won’t go out with me, I suppose outside of the nursery is as good of a place as any.”
“A nanny,” I said, breathlessly. “That’s what we need.”
CHAPTER TWO
VICTORIA
The next day I went to the apartment to pick up my things. Alex insisted that I go and spend some time with Liz while I was there. Michael was almost two weeks old and I’d spent nearly every minute with him even though he’d just come home from the hospital. To me, that was a good thing, just thinking about leaving him made my chest hurt. I was really unsure how I would do with a nanny. She would probably despise me. As reluctant as I was to leave him, Alex can be very persuasive. He told me that Michael would suffer if I didn’t take care of myself and stay healthy, and he told me that I was “hogging” Michael and he wanted some time to himself with him. I couldn’t very well argue with either of those since it seemed he had our family’s best interest at heart either way.
Alex’s driver took me over and dropped me off in front of Liz’s apartment. I’d tried to drive my own car. It was another thing that Alex had objected to. He told me that he was having a new car sent over for me. He didn’t feel like mine was safe, for me or Michael. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I’d had my car for a long time and it never did me wrong. I didn’t want to argue with him over something so silly though. The man was buying me a new car; I should be thrilled.
The driver told me to call when I was ready and he would help me load my things. This life was foreign to me. I’d never been so pampered, or pampered at all for that matter. It was going to be hard for me to get used to. There was also the part where Alex liked to be in charge of things and he practically insisted things be done his way. I appreciated his desire to make life easier for me, but I had no intentions of losing myself completely. I was still going to follow my dreams.
As soon as I got out of the car, Liz opened the door and threw her arms around me. “It’s good to see you. Look at you, you look so pretty! I’m so happy for you!” I was slightly confused. She had already come to the hospital to see Michael and she’d told me how happy she was for me then.
“Thanks, I love him so much. I’m happy for me too.”
She pulled me inside and she looked like she was about to burst. “You’re even ready to admit that it’s love? Oh my goodness that’s even better than I thought!”
“Wait a minute… what are you talking about?”
“You and Alex of course. What did you think I was talking about?”
“Michael.”
“Oh, well of course I’m happy for you and proud of you and your gorgeous son, but I was talking about you moving in with Alex.” When I called her about picking up my things I had done my best to avoid the “why” of moving in with him. It was a lot about convenience still, mostly about raising Michael… but I also couldn’t deny that I had very strong feelings for him.
“Oh! Oh no, that’s just about Michael. We both want to be with him and this was the best way for that to happen. Alex and I are… well, I’m not sure what we are yet. We’re just co-parenting and taking things slow for now.”
She raised an eyebrow at me. “Are you sure that’s wise?”
“What do you mean?”
“Because of how you feel about him.”
“I thought you were going to make me some cookies… and tea.”
“You’re not going to get out of talking about this,” she said.
“I’m not trying to get out of talking about it. I just want what I was promised. I smell chocolate chips. You wouldn’t deny a post-pregnant woman a chocolate chip cookie, would you?”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, come on.” We sat out on the balcony with a plate of cookies and a pot of tea. While I stuffed my face with cookies she said, “Okay, now talk to me.”
“I’m not really sure what you want me to say. Of course I care about Alex… he’s my son’s father. But it’s not like I’m expecting him to marry me…”
“Vicki, you’re in love with him.”
“No. When I said that, I was talking about Michael.”
She smiled. “I know you were, but honey I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice when you talk about him. You may not have even admitted it to yourself… but honey you do, trust me.”
I laughed. “I should trust you to tell me who I’m in love with?”
“Yes, because no one knows you like I do. You’re in love with him and if this is truly only about Michael then you’re going to end up getting hurt eventually…”
“You mean when he brings another woman home?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.”
“He kissed me last night. It wasn’t a friendly kiss because I’m the mother of his child. It was a real kiss and there was real passion behind it. I don’t know that I’m in love with him, but I care very much about him and I’m attracted to him in a way I’ve never been attracted to anyone before. I think it’s worth exploring as long as I keep reminding myself that living with him does not make us a couple… yet.”
“Just be careful with your heart honey. Jason did a big enough number on it.”
“I will be, I promise. What’s new with you?”
“Absolutely nothing,” she said, with a sad smile. “I went on two dates this past week. One of them was with the guy from apartment 82… did you ever meet him?”
“Oh! The cute guy with the little Boxer he walks every morning?”
“Yeah, him.”
“He’s so cute and he seems really nice. You didn’t have fun?”
“It was… interesting. We went to a restaurant in Venice Beach where we could eat outside… do you want to know why we had to eat outside?”
I could guess, but I said, “Why?”
“Because Louie… that’s the boxer’s name… he had to go with us. He sat on the seat between us. Louie has some kickin’ breath and he emits gas almost constantly.”
I was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down my face. “I’m sorry, it’s not funny…”
“Oh, go ahead and laugh. It’s either that or cry. I always wondered why he was single and now I know.”
When I finished laughing I said, “So who was date number two?”
“You remember Grant from my Yoga class?”
“Grant? I thought he was gay?”
“He’s not sure… I am. We went to a club and he spent the night staring at all of the hot guys. I walked up on him getting one guy’s number.”
“Oh Liz, I’m sorry!”
She rolled her eyes again. “Me too. I attract the weirdos like flies.”
“Don’t give up. You’re amazing. You deserve so much better.”
“Does Alex have a brother?” she asked, with a laugh.
“Not that he’s mentioned,
but if it turns out that he does you’ll be the first person I call after I meet him.”
She smiled and said, “Or a cousin. A cousin would be nice.”
We talked and laughed for over an hour and I realized that Alex was right… as hard as it was to leave the baby I needed this. I felt lighter and I suppose it’s true what people say about being unable to care for others if you don’t care for yourself. When it came time to go, I assured Liz that I wouldn’t be a stranger.
“I will call you in a few weeks after we get a nanny hired and we’ll have lunch, okay?”
“I’d like that,” she said. “I’d also love to see that sweet baby boy again too.”
“That, you can do anytime. You know where to find us.
“Um… yeah, I’ve only been to the mansion that once when I dropped you off… I felt out of place just in the driveway. I don’t really fit in there.”
“Don’t be silly,” I told her, but I had to wonder if she really was being silly, or not. Didn’t I feel the same way? I lived there now and I still had a hard time thinking of myself as anything but the maid. I knew in my heart that I’d never fit in with the people I’d seen at Alex’s parties and the thought of meeting his parents terrified me. When it was just me and him, or me and him and Michael, everything was great and his world and mine melded together to form a beautiful place. But, I had been around that house long enough to see him in his element. He’s hosted parties and gatherings that I worked at; serving food or drinks, he was everything a man in his position should be. He was polite and charming and a gracious host all the way around. He put on a tuxedo and wore it as if he’d been born in it. I wasn’t elegant, nor was I comfortable in formal wear. I heard his guests talking about vacations and new houses and cars… I wasn’t comfortable with that either, I fear that I never will be. But at the same time, I wasn’t ready to give up on the dream of Alex, Michael and I being a family either. It was definitely a quandary.
When I got back to the house I ran into Karen in the foyer. She hugged me and congratulated me on the baby. It was strange and a little bit uncomfortable to be the mistress of the house where I used to work. I wasn’t quite sure what to say to the people I used to talk with and joke and laugh with on a daily basis. She was actually deferential to me, which really freaked me out.
“Thank you, Karen. He’s amazing that’s for sure. Have you seen him?” She smiled and her uncomfortableness seemed to disappear.
“I just came from upstairs. I was checking on the new upstairs maid and I looked in on Mr. Reigns… both of them…” She had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face as she said, “It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. You’ll just have to go up and take a look for yourself.”
“Well now you’ve peaked my curiosity. It was so good to see you, Karen.”
“You too, Miss…”
“Karen?”
“Yes?”
“It’s Victoria or Vicki, just like it has always been.”
She smiled, “It was good to see you, Vicki. Your son is beautiful.”
“Thank you.”