The bad.
The ugly.
The undesirable.
The broken.
She takes it all without hesitation.
With Talia, there are no games. She’s lived a life on the streets where, just like me, she knows when it’s good, you hold onto it like a fucking lifeline.
Lifeline.
Talia is my lifeline.
Twelve
Talia
“You’re always one decision away from a totally different life.” Line on a business card for a life coach. – Could I actually have something real with him? I’m falling and it’s scary as much as it thrills me, Talia
One Week Later
I could seriously get used to waking in Koa’s bed. As I begin to stir, I find him missing. This is unusual. Immediately, my chest tightens, missing him.
This can’t be healthy.
Or is this what falling feels like?
Every day, we learn something more about each other. It’s interesting to see a different view on family. I look to my backpack where my sister’s bracelet was safely hidden in the seam. Moving to it, I sit on the floor and pull out the tattered Bible that has gone everywhere with me. The Bible that I once thought doomed me to a life of misery, but over time and studying on my own, I find God to be someone completely different from whom I once thought.
I was raised to believe no one outside of our family would understand our faith. The life we live here on Earth isn’t about our life, but about our connection. Family is faith. The larger the family, the larger one’s faith. For the life we are building here on Earth is only to be multiplied in Heaven. As long as we follow the foundation and the principles of our faith, we will be heirs to a kingdom in Heaven.
Johobe Jacobs is the founding father to our faith. According to the Bible, God called upon his people to live in a manner here on Earth that would only glorify the Heavens more. Johobe also happens to be my mother’s uncle. My mother, who married my father, a cousin some ways down the line. It’s all so very overwhelming when I sit down and try to draw our family tree.
All of it based on Johobe’s translation of the Old Testament of the King James Version of the Bible.
From as early as I can remember, one phrase resounds louder than them all: Every man was to take many wives all within the same tree of life.
I was groomed to be a caretaker. Not only was I to be subservient to my husband, but I would also have a brood of children, not all of which would be mine to help raise. For some women were permitted to have jobs in our culture, some were not. Johobe created a master list by birth order. All the males in a family were expected to work and have multiple wives within the boundaries of our faith. So, a man could not marry his mother or his sister, but he could marry a cousin or a niece. Should a man find himself in a situation to take an outsider into courtship, the female would need to convert to our faith before being cleansed of the life she had before and becoming one in the family. In order to meet the requirements of being in the family, she would have to carry the offspring of Johobe Jacobs or another bishop in the family before she could lay with or marry the man who brought her into courtship.
The long and the short of it … I was raised in a family where uncles took nieces, and outsiders only came in by sleeping with men of power within the faith.
I grew up in a cult.
While I didn’t know it, understand it, or accept it as a child, I get it now.
When Amara found out her husband’s intention to wed me as his final wife, she knew the life I would be agreeing to.
The life she lives.
Everything in our culture is for the benefit of the father: the head of the household. The husband, man of the house, whatever term one wishes to use, bottom line: the penises held the power.
A wife did not eat until her husband was satisfied. A wife did not sleep until her husband was satisfied and snoring. A wife did not shower until the husband deemed her unclean. The wife only opened the door to the home for the husband.
As children, we did not play outside.
For our life on Earth was a building block to the kingdom we would experience in Heaven. So, our Earthly home is a palace and is treated with that level of care.
Amara knew what my life would be. As my sister and my best friend, she risked everything to set me free.
And what a freedom she’s given me.
The freedom to know faith is in the belief of Heaven and Hell. Faith is the belief in Jesus, the son of God, who died for my sins. Faith is simple, while religion in complex. Faith is a belief in a higher power at its core.
All the rituals and demands are interpretations and man’s twist on the foundation of faith.
Amara gave me the gift of simple faith.
Not in a Bible. Not in a religion. Not in a lifestyle.
Simple faith in myself to endure all the odds. Faith in myself to believe in passion.
Faith inside to believe in the power of love.
I don’t know what love is as I’ve certainly never experienced it. What Koa and I have, this connection, it’s something more than anyone ever shared with me. Growing up, we were taught love is an expectation. Love is an action. Love is a choice.
We choose to love the man God chose for us as part of our Kingdom life on Earth.
We choose to be pure in our actions to our husbands for God said it to be so. and when we get to Heaven our husband will have sovereign reign over us.
We choose to give love as it’s demanded of us as a commandment.
All of it is wrong.
Amara gave me the gift to experience freedoms from the expectations of Johobe and his followers.
I wish my sister could be free.
Getting up, I put the Bible and the bracelet back into the bag before I go to the bathroom. After doing my business, washing my hands and face, then brushing my teeth, I get dressed before going to the kitchen.
On the countertop, I find a note from Koa.
Be ready to ride. I’m taking you to see someone today. Koa
Instantly, nerves hit me. Where are we going? Who am I seeing? I’ve met his brothers in the Kings of Carnage Motorcycle Club. While I’m still learning how this club thing is a club and not a gang, I find the bond he has with the others to be intense. Obviously, they can be dangerous, but Koa is open with me as much as he can be about way things work.
I have accepted that there are aspects of the club he will never share with me. Not because I can’t be trusted, simply for my safety. The less I know, the better.
After learning everything I knew was basically spoon-fed garbage to brainwash my child mind, I am okay with not knowing shit.
Experiences.
I want experiences in life. I want to know something because I saw it, felt it, touched it, held it. All things I experience, not things I’m told.
I want to live this life for the here and now, not some Kingdom in the afterlife.
I don’t need to be an heir to anything. I don’t need a mansion. Hell, after wrecking Koa’s truck, I don’t even need a car.
I want to breathe every breath of air without fear that someone from the Jacobs clan will find me. I want to marry a man because I love him, and he makes me smile. I want a man who finds me beautiful and wants to build a life with me, not treat me as a brood mare, popping out babies as part of the following.
I want so much more, and that is the gift Amara gave me, but the gift I didn’t understand until Koa.
The way his every touch makes me feel alive is what I want. The way he lets me see him, really see him, when no one else gets that. The way I simply know I matter without a single word falling from his lips because it’s in the way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the way he cares for me.
Mostly, the way he protects me.
Life landed us together in this weird place, in the strangest of ways, but I see it all as a gift for my faith.
My faith in myself.
Thirteen
Jinx
/> “I was quiet, but I was not blind.” Jane Austen – I’m a simple man, a quiet man, but I have never been a blind man. I see what is right in front of me and I’m not letting it go, Jinx
She has her arms tightly around my waist with her chest pressed to my back as the pavement passes under us. I make the turn into the parking lot and let out a sigh. While I want Talia to be here, I don’t want our ride to end.
This is a first for me.
Everything is so new with Talia. I love the expressions on her face each and every day. She has a passion for life that is infectious. It’s like she has never been able to relax, and suddenly, she can.
I give her that safety.
It fucking feels good.
She climbs off the bike with practiced ease. After securing our helmets, I take her by the hand and lead her right to his room. Pops sits at the table in his little kitchenette when we arrive. I walk in, and he immediately stands as I give him a hug.
“Who is this beautiful woman, Koa?” He smiles a smile that covers his entire face.
“Pops, this is Talia.”
He eyes grow wide in surprise. “Is she from the islands? I don’t remember a Talia when you were running the streets.”
I shake my head. “No, Pops. She’s not Polynesian. Just a beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”
“Ahh, my Kalini is the same. Come and sit,” he invites, taking a seat again.
I sit in the chair across from him and pull Talia to my lap.
“You’ve never brought a woman home before. She’s strong,” he states, studying Talia. “Your mother would like her. I feel it, Koa.”
I nod. I feel it too.
We visit with Pops for a bit, all with Talia relaxing more.
“How about your family, Talia?” Pops asks.
She sighs, “My family is complicated.”
“Well, I’m an old man with nothing but time. Life is complicated. Hell, at my age, even keeping track of the time is a challenge, so you can share, and I promise it doesn’t leave these walls.”
She begins to speak, and my mind is blown. “I grew up in North Dakota. My mother is the fifth wife of her cousin. My sister is my best friend. I was very sheltered, homeschooled, never off the property type of life. When my sister found out I was set to marry her husband, who is our uncle, and I was fourteen, she helped me escape. I’ve lived on the rails ever since.”
Pops remains quiet. “Childhood is a precious time. A time where life hasn’t yet tainted your vision. I’m sorry, Talia, that your early years were filled with a narrow view of the world. My Kalini believed love was as powerful as the ocean. She took me as a young soldier with a jaded outlook on people and family, and she made me believe and see. She loved me as big as the ocean is wide. She rode every wave in life with me. I didn’t have a good home, a strong family, until my Kalini. Then we were given the gift of life in Koa. You may have had a hard beginning, but find a love that’s as strong as the ocean.”
My chest tightens thinking of my mother. She absolutely loved strong. Talia’s eyes gloss over in unshed tears. Looking at my Pops, he seems to be going to a faraway place in his mind again, so I decide to take Talia on a ride. There is nothing that can remind you that you’re alive the way the open road on a Harley Davidson.
After our goodbyes, we hit the road with no words shared between us. My thoughts keep going back to her sister and the life she’s living. I make a decision, and with a text to Bouncer, I continue having a day with my woman.
Just Talia, my bike, and the highway.
I’ve never felt so good.
The hours pass us by, as do the miles. We pull into the lot of the industrial park, and I see his bike. Things with Talia have been a whirlwind. I’ve never met someone who so easily accepts what comes in life. Maybe it’s her time as a hobo. Maybe it’s her past and the hold it has over her. I don’t know, but she needs to know everything.
I want to lay my world at her feet, but I want her to know me. All of me.
The good.
The bad.
The ugly.
And the kinky.
Parking the bike, we get off, and I take her by the hand, leading her to the door where Apollo stands duty. With a nod, he lets us inside, and I take her to the room. Flipping the switch to alert passersby that the room is taken, I move inside the blacked-out space to press the button, clearing the frosted screen once again.
This time the set-up is different.
I requested it so.
“I want to share a side to me, Talia. Before we get in this shit deeper, I gotta know you get me.”
She swallows hard, and I see the trepidation in her face. I take my sunglasses off and toss them to the side table.
“I want you to see me, Teineitiiti.”
“You’re making me nervous, Koa,” she whispers, and just my name on her lips has me rock hard.
“You’ll never be in danger with me. But I want you to know I have unique tastes. If at any point you are uncomfortable, I will make adjustments.”
She nods.
“The night you stole my truck, I was pissed.”
She looks down, and I reach out, tipping her chin up to make her meet my gaze.
“Teineitiiti, my life was one ride to the next. My life was the Kings and only the Kings. I got Pops, but outside of him, I have my brothers. My life was basic. When I wanted to fuck, I found a bitch to fuck. No attachments. No one got to see me. All an outsider got of me was a King. Then, you came into my life literally wrecking the way I live, dare I say, the way I breathe. My first instinct was to punish you. I imagined it, Talia. You,” I point to the glass wall where there is a leather bench on display. “Those leather cuffs in my car, I imagined you strapped to that bench, shackled.”
Her breathing picks up as I twist her body to face the glass wall, and I move to stand behind her.
“I wanted to watch Bouncer teach you what it is to cross a King.”
Her breathing hitches as Bouncer enters the scene with a woman following on a leash and a leather collar around her neck. He doesn’t speak to her, only looks to the space of the two-way mirror, no doubt knowing I’m on the other side. With practiced ease, Bouncer sets the woman up, bent over the bench with her ass on display and her hands shackled to the bottom legs of the contraption. He leaves her legs free for now.
“Talia, do you trust me?”
She hesitates, and for the first time in my life, I actually feel fear that she’s going to reject all of this.
Finally, she speaks, “I trust you more than I’ve trusted anyone in my whole life. I trust you more than my own sister.”
The relief washes over me. “Let me show you my world, Teineitiiti.”
“Please,” she whispers as Bouncer kicks at the woman’s feet spreading her wide in display for us.
“I want you to watch, Talia. I want you to imagine the night we met. The night you came trembling but fighting strong into my world. I want you to imagine my anger mixed with the undeniable desire I have for you.”
I begin to strip her clothing as I talk. One item at a time, I remove the garments gently. “I wanted to watch Bouncer lock you into place. I wanted you on display for me. I wanted to see under the baggy clothes and learn every inch of your body.”
I relish the way her skin is rippled with goosebumps as I run my hands softly up and down her exposed flesh.
“I wanted you to know who was in charge. Because in the instant I laid my eyes on you that very first night, I was lost to you, Talia. Completely and unashamedly gone in a way I didn’t even recognize. Because as much as I wanted my brother to put you on display for me, as much as I trust him with my own fucking life, I couldn’t stand the thought of him touching you.”
She shivers as I press my lips to her shoulders. One small, tender kiss at a time, I begin to tease her body.
“Watch, Teineitiit. Watch as Bouncer learns her body. Watch as he massages her flesh. Remember those first touches, Talia. Remember me massaging you, l
earning you. Memorizing you.”
I begin working my hands over her flesh. She’s locked in on the scene in front of her as Bouncer begins to focus on the sub’s plump ass.
“I wanted to watch you get spanked. I wanted to watch your reaction, Talia, as I allowed my brother to take from your body the way you took my truck.”
I drop to my knees in front of her just as Bouncer drops to his knees behind his partner.
“Except the orgasms I knew my brother could give your body, I wanted to be mine. See, Talia, I’m a selfish man. I wanted to punish you, but then I wanted to keep you. I wanted to protect you, but push you to the edge.”
I pick her leg up and rest it over my shoulder. With my mouth against her pussy, I lap before I continue, “I wanted to taste your sweet cunt as much as I wanted to watch Bouncer make you tremble. I needed to feel you come alive for me because, baby, you made me feel for the first time in my life.”
As the woman in the scene begins to moan her excitement, I press my face into Talia. My nose settles in her soft curls as I eat her pussy like it’s my last meal. She rocks into me as her hands come to my head, pressing me into her more.
“Koa,” she cries out as her pussy moistens under my attention. I grab her ass and move my head up and down, sliding my nose and tongue all through her folds.
Licking.
Nipping.
Sucking.
I keep working her body. As she goes weak over me, I pull back as she whimpers, missing my mouth on her heat.
“I’ve wanted you from the moment you challenged my world. I like control, Talia. I fight for it. Then you came along, and I’m a man out of control.”
She reaches out, cupping my chin and pulling me up. My face glistens with her juices, and I taste her on my lips and tongue.
“Lose control with me, Koa.”
With her whispered words, I do just that. She pulls at my clothes as I drop my mouth to hers. I take from her as she no doubt tastes herself on me. I’m rock hard and naked as I move us to the couch. She moves to straddle me, but I stop her.
Jinx: Kings of Carnage MC Page 10