by J. A. James
Griesen felt goosebumps. “Did you fail with your cases? Were you sabotaged?”
Mattie nodded. “I did fail. And I was sabotaged. And then I started wondering, much like you did, why I couldn’t succeed. I didn’t just buy into the reasons that the Institute provided.”
“The only answers I received were to let all the cases go, let them die… let their Sols cycle through another useless iteration. Soon enough, I hated it with a vengeance. I felt as if I were a farmer with crops that had failed season after season. I could not rescue a soul.”
“There was something wrong with this whole process,” Griesen whispered. “Wasn’t there?”
She nodded. “Yes. Your feeling was right. Back then, I started digging, and the Institute wasn’t quite as secretive. I discovered some things.”
“When did we stop wanting to help humans in ascension?” Griesen asked. “When did that all change?”
The awful truth was coming out. “But this has been the very backbone of our society.”
“Maybe it was for a very long time,” Mattie replied. “We had formed a symbiotic relationship with them. But no. It hasn’t been the case for many, many Friels. Many more Friels than you know.” She continued with a distant look in her eyes. “Do they still say this? The meaning of our lives is to give their lives meaning. That was the bible, back then.”
Griesen swallowed. “They still say this.”
“There is a faction of the Institute that has not believed in Humans for a very, very long time now,” Mattie said. You’re just a cog in the wheel, going through the motions for them.”
“Why?” Griesen pushed him, angry now. He didn’t want to believe it, but there was a feeling – that this was part of an ugly truth he had to hear.
Mattie laughed. “Well, think about it. We rely on their energy for our survival. I know that man, Ithes, has been searching for an alternative energy source for a very long time...in this Universe, in others. But yet he has kept coming back here, down to Gaia, to these damned Humans.”
“They cannot be the only energy source out there.” And he knew for a fact that they were not.
“No, they certainly aren’t,” Mattie acknowledged. “But we, given everything, have yet to encounter another species with so much potential. When they love one another, when their hearts open for their loved ones, their families… the energy expansion is unlike any other source we as a species have harvested before. Ithes, for all the time I’ve known him… could not find a comparable. They are like no other.”
And suddenly, Griesen understood. “And yet… with such a capacity for love, they have such a capacity for hate,” he whispered.
“Oh yes. And that is the most astounding thing about them. So smart, so capable…yet so abhorrent.” Mattie looked away, seemingly lost in a memory. “They are so base, so selfish…and we have seen this for so long. Their so-called intelligence cuts their legs out from under them, I’m afraid. Ithes hardly has to do any work for them to see to their own demise. They’re doing most of it themselves.”
“Wait,” Griesen interjected. “Ithes. The realization of it hit him. “He’s leading this faction. Do you think he has found another Source?”
He thought then, of everything he’d seen in humanity’s storied history. The wars; the killings; the hatred and bloodlust. Yet, he also saw the kind and loving side of the Humans… and yet they existed together. The dualities of human nature constantly presented themselves. Dark and light. Sin and purity. Truth and lies…Love and hate. Loyalty and betrayal.
Mattie looked at him, shaking her head. “He found a few other options… but he realized the Human capacity for energy harvesting always had far greater potential. We had spent so much time on them. Hundreds upon hundreds of years. And then…” she stopped.
“What happened, Mattie?” he asked.
“The human proclivities towards the light and dark never made them the easiest subjects. As you know… it hasn’t been easy for us to successfully bridge humans. Ithes realized this early on and decided to start cutting his losses.”
Griesen realized it. The awful truth. “You mean… he started giving up on our mission. How – how could you have given up on these Humans?” he asked.
Mattie looked at him, shaking her head. “No – I never gave up on the Humans. I gave up on the Institute. When I discovered what Ithes was really up to, he was terrified. He had begun sabotaging the Acruvae down on Gaia and mining the Humans for a piecemeal unit of energy. Nothing substantial compared to what you would have gotten from bridging… but if you can imagine numbers into the millions. But he was doing it slowly, at a pace where no blame could be placed on him. He is a pathetic excuse as a leader. I could only surmise he was collecting all the energy for himself, to perhaps eclipse Ana when the time was right.”
She drew in a breath and exhaled before continuing. “He wanted to Extinguish me, but because I was one of Angol’s favorites, he didn’t dare. He couldn’t figure out a way to do it up there without arousing suspicion. So, he developed a chamber.”
Griesen felt the blood pounding through his veins. She had been a favourite of Angol’s. He was also a favourite of Ana’s… he had been set up. Ithes knew this and couldn’t get rid of him without being put under a microscope.
She smiled bitterly at the memory. “He created a ruse.”
“One last mission, one last Sol. This one looked promising; I came down to Gaia. But when I came down, I knew something was amiss. I emerged from my shuttle. I was ambushed.” She paused for a moment, placing her hand on her collar. She breathed in deeply as Griesen then saw a long line glowing down from her neck, to the centre of her clavicles.
“Someone attempted to kill me. Right there, on the street. I fought for my life, I wouldn’t let them. I was so stubborn, I was nearly dead when they dragged me to this place. And in this place, Ithes had created an experimental machine – to denature our powers, make us into something else.”
Griesen felt a growing horror as he felt he already knew the answer. This was what happened to Matthias. And to all the others.
Mattie closed her eyes and continued. “He stripped me of nearly all my powers. I was the first…but of course, the machine was imperfect. It was inexact in its ways, its science. Ithes is brilliant but for this work, he was hasty for many, many reasons. For me, he had denatured me entirely, but only of my physical powers. Mentally – I retained everything. I could still do everything, code everything. Read everything. My telepathy is still intact and as strong as it was when I was up there.”
She smiled bitterly. “But of course, after I came out of those sessions, I played dumb. I wouldn’t let him know that I could do that. It helped that I had in fact lost all my physical powers…so he left me in this cemetery to rot, not caring about the rest.”
She paused for a long moment. “Matthias was the second one. The second case.”
Matthias. His eyes widened. “He still has some of his powers, though,” he whispered.
She looked at him. “Yes. While Ithes was busy upstairs, I managed to work my way through the machine. Remember… I still had my intellect. I managed to tinker with it, adjust its capabilities…fully pretending I had become something even lesser than a Human.”
When Matthias came through it, he was not entirely denatured. But every time he came through a session, I would be there. All the guards let me deal with the poor souls who came out of that machine… I managed to tell them how to stay alive. How to pretend to be worse than they actually were.”
Griesen sat, spellbound; sickened at her words.
“It took a few Friels. I’d say three Friels of men Ithes had brought down here; tortured. But in that time period, I had built up my army. My resistance force – and we had an uprising. Ithes and his men were so unprepared… that was a major part of how we won the resistance. How we came to be here.”
She gazed at him then, her words stopping. “Does this answer your question?”
“Nicholai,” he sai
d slowly. “Why his name?”
She smiled sadly. “He was the soul I was so close to saving. He was the one I came down to Gaia for. The last Soul. He is lost, now… but it was my way of commemorating him.” She looked down at her hands.
“I don’t – I don’t know what to do,” Griesen whispered to her then. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be anymore.”
Matthie turned to look at him. “Life will inevitably present a choice to you. This time – you have a very rare opportunity. You have your own volition to choose what to do with what’s in front of you.”
“Do I, really?” he asked her softly. He was between worlds. Between the one he could not go back to, and this one where they weren’t human or Acruvae. They were the castoffs… the broken glass shattered from Ithes’ darkly kept secrets.
“I have an army of soldiers,” Mattie said, matter-of-factly. “I do not rule through power alone. As you can see…” she held up her two hands. “I can only sew. And gesture. And think. My body is becoming decrepit; going soft and old as a Human’s would.”
Her eyes shifted to sadness. “I only hope that I can see the world to a better place.”
She waved her hands in the air. “I have always let my men choose. And in the power of their choice, most of them – have chosen to stay in this fight. We have much work to do. You also get to choose.”
She took his hands in hers. “What is meant to be is meant to be,” she whispered. “Some of the Institute’s teachings still hold true. Not all. But some.” She reached into her pocket, and placed something between his palms, squeezing them together again.
She then got up, and walked quietly through the doors, leaving him alone in the wash of light.
He watched her retreating figure as the doors shut behind her.
Opening his palms, he found the cool familiarity of his Joshua stone. For the first time since he’d arrived on Gaia, tears began rolling down his cheeks.
He didn’t brush them aside as he settled down into the cold floor, folding his legs one on top of the other, closing his eyes to meditate.
He breathed in, and held it for a few seconds. When he exhaled, he gently willed his mind to go blank.
The blankness of the mind had taken some practice to achieve - but once it had been acquired, it retained its muscle memory.
A blank canvas.
And there it was - the connection to the Universe was there, every time his mind went still. Everything slowed down for him, then - and so often after meditation, his energy was recharged, and he was reconnected in a more energetic way to the Source. The Source was what many Humans attributed to God. Most Humans chose to reinterpret the Source in some form of religion. For him, it was Spirit. It was focused matter and energy that without ego, revealed its truths in one shape or form.
Most oftentimes, the answers to the questions he sought came to him then, in meditation.
Tears suddenly pooled in his eyes. He was glad that even in times like these, his connection to the Universe was still there. It wasn’t tied to the Institute, or any person. It was what remained between him and the abyss…that unbreakable connection that energized his core; acknowledged his needs. The quiet that nourished him.
He breathed in, deeply and slowly. The stillness around him somehow grew; and came alive. This was how he came into being more - him. More of everything. More One.
When he opened his eyes again, he had made up his mind.
CHAPTER 22
Find Halva. Find Halva.
The words echoed in his brain as he walked quickly through the dark labyrinth. He ran quickly towards what seemed like light, and found the landing dock where he had been. It was time to find her before Ithes’ men did. He had a mission.
There were a handful of men around – mechanics, and those loading several shuttles. They looked at him disinterestedly as they continued to work.
I kept my promise for you.
Startled, Griesen glanced around – and there he was. Matthias was standing next to the shuttle he had fixed. The one they had taken off on. Matthias was telepathing him.
She is safe. I kept the Guards away from her. She is waiting for you.
Gratitude filled Griesen as the shuttle doors opened. Thank you, he telepathed back.
We are here. When you wish to return.
Minutes later, Griesen braced himself for entering the Earthly atmosphere. Indeed, it was almost too much to bear for the aircraft. As it speared through the webbed energetic layers, he could hear the metal begin to screech, and he imagined it was bending like tinfoil on the outside. He closed his eyes and prayed as he took his hands off the dials and allowed the shuttle to move through its calculated energy vortex.
Human sensors would detect the shuttle entry as a small-sized meteor; nothing more. The shuttle began shaking, and his teeth began to rattle as he tried to manoeuvre himself into the copilot's chair as the shuttle began moving more turbulently, catapulting him from the chair to the right side of the shuttle. He slammed into the wall as the shuttle began a haphazard roll towards their destination.
He managed to grasp onto a metal handle and held on with a death grip as they continued rolling.
His eyes caught the dashboard briefly as he registered the seconds to their landing - one minute left. The shuttle was rapidly destabilizing; there was little that he could do but hang onto dear life.
His other hand grabbed the co pilot chair's headrest as the shuttle began emitting the red alert signal. He saw a thin line of beach and a shoreline rapidly approaching - and braced himself as the shuttle plowed into part sand, part water.
He used two feet to kick open the door. I'm lucky to be alive, he thought, as he wedged himself out of the small bent opening. He staggered outside, his feet pushing deeply into the wet sand. He glanced over the shuttle, which resembled a crumpled metal ball. He shook his head, as he looked towards the skyline. He had to find her. And - when he did - he'd figure out what to do next.
PART 2: HALVA.
CHAPTER 1
Her arms. It was always her arms, covered in cuts and purplish bruises she tried to hide. Long sleeves were the easiest. She went to the house. She always went back; she hated going there but had to. I have to.
She knocks on the door. Her mother opens it in her faded green housecoat. Her hair is caught in those plastic rollers that make her look like a walking poodle. Halva always hated those rollers.
“Come with me,” she begs her mother.
But her mother stands, resolute in the doorway, with a pained expression on her face.
'I love him,' her mother said, as Halva stood in the doorway, her ears suddenly ringing in disbelief.
What? She - loved him? How could she love a man who beat her, and took her back on his terms like a broken marionette doll?
And if that question wasn’t hard enough, the second question always broke her: Then why don’t I love him?
Halva's body goes numb. It was already more than she could bear, coming to the house full of screaming matches and violent scenes she would never be able to erase. And then to hear that her Mother chose her Father, not her…
She backed away. 'Fine,' she whispered to her mother, her eyes filling with tears.
Her mother looked at her. 'Halva,' she pleaded. 'What would I have without him? If I left him?'
Me. The thought reverberates in Halva's mind but she can never bring herself to utter the words. You choose him over me? She is then blinded by her hot, sliding tears as she runs to her beaten up Toyota, driving off as fast as she can.
She’s crying so hard she can’t breathe, and then she doesn’t see the truck in front of her as it plows right into her, stopping her pain and tears.
Halva wakes up, bathed in a sweat, her eyes wild. “Another nightmare,” she whispers. “It’s just a nightmare.” But she puts her hands to her face and realizes her tears are real.
“God,” she murmured, checking the clock. Five fifteen in the morning. Time to get up anyways. Get up, lazyb
ones.
She wasn’t used to sleeping past six am anyways. The catering had done it to her, but she welcomed the busyness. After six years and a series of raises, Halva had finally treated herself, upgrading her apartment to the decor she had always wanted.