February 20, 2009:
Today a simple rather heavily built man of about 30 came to the Hamam. He is from Kastellorizo (A tiny Greek island off the coast of Turkey) and he likes older men. He came onto me rather heavily. It was unpleasant and he kept looking at my dick and ass. He volunteered to give me a scrub. It was welcome because I can’t reach every part of my back these days. He spent a long time soaping my ass and dick. Having one’s dick washed is very relaxing but any hint of sex and it became not only invasive but abhorrent. He tried to suck my dick and I found it unpleasant. His constant need to kiss my body was irritating. This experience made me aware of some very interesting aspects regarding personal boundaries and I hope to make fewer mistakes in future.
Panni made me sit through some game show because the participants were all gay; I was a bore and so what?
Pauline has moved into my old room and she wants the Piano out as soon as possible. The Chinese restaurant I visit is run by a Vietnamese family. They were ‘boat babies’. It is cheap but the food indifferent and the waiters beautiful. The décor is easy on my eyes and Chinese pop music easy on my ears. One boy is engaged to a Russian girl; I hope she checks his dick for fit. I fantasize about those eastern waiters and have some very easy orgasms.
February 22, 2009:
Nice Niko came yesterday; I am falling in love with him but I must never allow myself to presume anything. Despite Dirty Kostas being in the hot room we had sex surreptitiously in the main room. Every time D. K. approached the doorway I could see his shadow on the wall. While massaging Nikos’s back his dick came up and was clearly visible beyond his hip. I lay on the warm floor licking and sucking the end of his dick. He spread his legs so I could soap his ass and dick from behind. This position is now my favorite view of some young men. Keeping our eyes on the door way of the hot room we played around for a long time. Niko eventually finished himself off while soaping my ass with his left hand.
February 23, 2009:
I saw Alexander briefly after his university course and his boat was delayed. He refuses to fly. He tells me that he likes drawing film stars; it’s as if I have a twin. He told me that women fail to fulfill his needs because he wants intellect as well as beauty. For a man of 30, he seems very inexperienced and idealistic so I said, ‘Sensitive men and objective woman are both very rare and remarkable beings’ I then added, perhaps hoping to resolve his “inner conflicts.” ‘Of the two, I have come to prefer a sensitive man.’ He replied, ‘I prefer an intelligent woman.’ The boat was delayed and we were cold. Alexander kissed me and we parted. The flight would have taken twenty minutes. I am fascinated by Alexander; all our tastes coincide, he is one of the finest and most beautiful men I have ever known, I like his body, his manner and he never misses a chance to mention his dick.
February 25, 2009:
Last night I saw the film, ‘Doubt’ it was superbly done. It was about a repressed and spiteful nun, a healthy priest who was probably gay and a sensitive lonely boy. Nothing happened between the priest and boy, it was an innocent caring friendship. The nun, played by Merrill Streep, destroyed two people’s lives. The most beautiful moment was when Merrill Streep tried hinting to the boy’s mother at an unnatural relationship between the priest and her son and the mother replied, ‘I am grateful that my son has found a friend.’ Merrill Streep was, as always superb. She managed to portray that the nun’s problems were all her own projections. Her hatred originating in her own fears, repression and one presumes frustration.
A Child’s early need for security and trust is like a seedling climber, searching in the dark for a firm support to reach the light. Teachers are the most available objects of support. To withdraw is to let the seedling flounder. To nip the seedling in the bud with rejection or guilt would stunt its growth or to cast it off could cause lifelong damage. The boy’s mother was so right.
Sports heroes or heroines are the safest models. The fact is that the young need support to reach the light and it is the teacher’s job to help children grow. It is curious that Christianity teaches repression, guilt and hatred. Church educational and caring institutions have an appalling reputation for cruelty and we now discover sexual abuse. It’s all the denial of love.
February 26, 2009
Today Nice Niko came to the Hamam, I missed his arrival but we met briefly and talked when he was leaving. Claire told me to warn him not to be involved with friends searching for antiquities with a metal detector. I passed her advice on to Niko, adding ‘There are only two dangerous activities in Greece, drugs and antiquities, so you’re fucked on two counts.’ Laughing he said that he had no intentions of getting involved with people using metal detectors. Once again I had been misled by Claire and the situation could have been embarrassing, she is always seeking to interfere, control, manipulate and cause trouble.
Two months ago, I wanted a blood test just to check that everything is normal. I had to give a reason and so pointed to some blotches on my legs. I had been told they are “Just old age.” I was passed from doctor to doctor and it was eventually confirmed that I needed a blood test. Blood tests are expensive and I was advised to arrange the test on my European health card but this took even more time. If I had been ill I could have died in the time involved and the exhaustion of visiting doctors and clinics to save about 50 euros, it was not worth it.
My blood proved to be normal so I had to arrange a biopsy. This was straight forwards. I asked the very good looking young doctor if he could remove a blotch that was close to my dick (for esthetic reasons). He smiled his agreement, took care to remove the whole blotch and flirted with me. He rested his hand on my dick and asked if I knew what ‘Malaka’ meant, ‘yes’ I replied, ‘it means wanker’. I asked him what they are checking for and he told me, ‘Autoimmune complications, that could be caused by stress.’ The stress could obviously have been caused by my sister- in- law. They double check my date of birth, they thought it must be a mistake and should have been 1957.
I told Claire of my ordeal with the health service and she said, ‘Serves you right, I pay 500 euros and it’s all taken care of. Why do you think I always go private?’ This is the woman who owes me 3000 euros for loans to visit ‘private clinics’. The arrival of the blotches on my legs coincided with the end of my migraines, so they are psychosomatic, but much easier to live with.
March 15, 2009:
Tomorrow is the Greek’s appeal case. I have had my haircut and grown my beard out white. I am aiming at the old English gentleman look, not that a Greek would comprehend an ‘English gentlemen,’ but white hair instinctively inspires trust and respect. Last Monday I went down with a terrible cold.
March 17, 2009:
The Greek did not turn up for the court case yet again. It cost me 500 euros and was postponed until November.
My friend Kyriakos turned up from Athens for his half yearly visit. We were alone and wrestling in the hot room, both covered in soap. He pressed his ass against my face as I soaped his rigid dick and balls then changing position his dick slipped in to my ass. I had my arms around his shoulders and neck and our bodies kept coming together in unexpected computations as we kissed and his dick kept finding some new space or hole. I find my friend to be in every way, a perfect complement, emotionally, physically and sexually.
Then a fat man came into the Hamam and my friend indicated that he could join us. Kyriakos began soaping his own dick flirting with the fat Greek while I massaged his feet. The fat Greek was getting very disturbed and asked for a massage. I obliged and that seemed to excite Kyriakos who then wanted me to suck his dick. Kyriakos inserted two fingers in my ass while reaching for the fat man’s ass and he shoved his soapy hand between his gross buttocks and promptly orgasmed into my mouth.
Being considerate, the fat man left us alone and I whispered in my friend’s ear ‘You’re disgusting’, and he replied ‘Yes I know’. Still close to my ear he said, ‘Tomorrow we will fuck before anybody arrives.’ We left together about lunch time. I s
aid, ‘Sex is nice with you’--- ‘Yes you’re ok too,’ we walked together easily, no regrets, just trust and acceptance, like friends. Why can’t this be normal life?
March 18, 2009:
Today Kyriakos arrived before me but dirty Stavros and rubber dick were already there. We played about in the main room kissing one another on the ass and lips with rubber dick watching. Stavros was very considerate and stayed in the hot room. I gave my friend a sexy and most luxurious massage, pleasuring every inch of his body, especially his dick and ass. We discover the most bizarre and erotic positions imaginable while Stavros kept checking from the hot room. My friend put his soapy arms around my neck and whispered, ‘I want to fuck.’
I went to fetch a condom. When I returned rubber-dick was standing with Kyriakos helping to get his dick hard. I handed the condom over and he pushed my head on to rubber-dick’s dick. Standing behind me Kyriakos licked my ass before inserting his dick with ease. His dick is perfect, never have I known such care or such easy and pleasurable fucking. Stavros came to the door and returned immediately. All three of us were listening for the Hamam door to open; Rubber dick caressing my back and stomach. Kyriakos then sat on the floor to finish, and Rubber-dick started masturbating over us.
Kyriakos holding his breath started wanking very hard while soaping his own ass but he began to lose his erection. So, I pushed my fingers into his ass and he started to orgasm, gasping for air. Vast quantities of semen spurted onto his stomach and grabbing my wrist he forced my fingers deeper into his ass. Then sitting, holding hands, we held one another’s eyes, smiling while Kyriakos continued gasping for air.
We had forgotten about rubber dick now slumped in his usual corner beside his marble basin. We left together, in the street he showed me a picture of himself at 18, huge green eyes, arched browse and very sensual, Cupid’s bow lips, a stunning and typical Greek boy. ‘I like your dick.’ and he said with one hand on my shoulder, ‘I like your ass.’ Before we parted I asked if we could ever make love properly, he replied, ‘We will see.’ I think he needs adventure, but above all an audience.
March 22, 2009:
Today was very busy with groups of boys arriving from a Canadian ship. Vangelis asked the fat Hitler and dirty Tassos to help. Hitler was doing a massage parlor job and dirty Tassos was scrubbing their dicks and then dirty Stavros helped and sat on one boy’s ass, Vangelis said in Greek, ‘I said massage him not fuck him’ Vangelis is getting greedy and starting to take to many risks.
Mediterranean boys laugh at gays and even take advantages, but northern European and American boys are embarrassed, even if they are gay. Straight boys would be horrified at a sexual encounter with a supposedly professional. Embarrassment can cause actual psychological problems when sex is involved. Dirty Tassos has no concept of abuse and Vangelis is an idiot. He can’t take money from non-Greeks and hand them over to a known pervert, with no conscience
March 25, 2009:
Yesterday a fine Greek came for a massage. He was probably about 30, tall, slim, muscular and handsome. He offered no invitations so I took no liberties. I did a complete massage and then started again on his back, enjoying the perfection of his long back and perfect ass. I changed my technique to sensual and lingering. He turned over and his dick that had always been thick and fully extended began to rise to a perfect erection. As I watched his foreskin eased from his glans, slipping down his shaft. Avoiding his dick, I embarked on a sensual massage of torso, loins and thighs.
With no hint of embarrassment, he took hold of his dick and then sitting on the edge of the marble plinth, knees akimbo lean on the wall against his warm marble basin he closed his eyes, his head lolling to one side he began to very slowly masturbate. Sitting between his feet and taking hold of his balls, my soapy fingers close to his anus, I marveled at the beautiful sweep of his concave torso and muscular thighs. He resembled the famous statue of a reclining hunter. As I gently soaped his balls, his lips parted and with only a hint of a smile he ejaculated all over his stomach. Without opening his eyes, he returned to the warm floor and stretched out again, his arms above his head. I scooped the semen from his stomach anointing my dick and then rinsed him with warm water and continued the massage.
A very good looking boy had been watching from the door. I thought this incident would pass unacknowledged but on his way-out, in a moment of deep intimacy the Greek whispered, ‘That was the first time, can I come again?’ I answered, ‘yes anytime and don’t pay for a massage I am always here.’
The boy was still lingering, so I offered him a massage, he said ‘NO’ and left abruptly. I felt that I had shared something archaic and deeply profound. I felt as if I had encountered ‘Nijinsky’s Faun’, the adolescent dreams of a Faun’s sexual awakening on a warm afternoon. It was the quintessence of homoerotic Greece.
March 26, 2009:
Today is the first warm day. The air is soft but still cool. These are the days that make living here so rewarding. This morning I failed to notice an American boy’s arrival. I found him almost by chance sitting alone in the main room on a marble bench. He is about 22, very good looking and beautifully put together. I gave him no choice about a massage. I took him directly into the hot room as a Greek boy was leaving. I scrubbed and massage him back and front, he had a semi erection most of the time. I concentrated on massaging his neck, shoulders, chest, hands and thighs, deliberately bypassing his groin area.
Then I worked upwards from his feet, very slowly aware of the growing need of his dick to be held. He showed no embarrassment about the increasing size of his dick and lay stretching his arms above his head with his knees bent and his dick suddenly became rigid. To ease his mounting tension, I massage his loins and felt him relax into a receptive passivity.
His eyes remain closed so I soaped his balls and washed his dick. He was comfortable and moving his legs further apart my soapy fingers were close to his anus. I manipulated and pleasured his dick while soaping his balls. With my finger-tips only I then began to awaken his sensuality, spending a long time exploring his glans and blowing gently onto his balls and pubic hair; sometimes letting his dick caress my face. Then I returned to his chest, stomach and loins and to increase his sensitivity I used the lightest of caresses with finger-tips only.
Kneeling between his legs I took hold of his rigid shaft and pulled it towards me. I kissed the tip of his dick and gently with two hands I began to masturbate him. Starting his final stage of sexual arousal towards orgasm but with only the slightest movement of his head he made it clear that he wanted to go no further. I dispersed his awakened sexuality throughout his body.
I whispered ‘It’s very big’ he smiled and his arousal vanished. I rinsed him down and he seemed reluctant to leave so I suggested, ‘I can massage your neck again if you want’ and without a word he lay on his stomach, when he turned over again, his dick shot back to being rigid, but I concentrated on his hands and feet and the erection disappeared, just as quickly.
We talked for a while, he is a student traveling alone and I began to relate him; finding that I desired him. I asked, ‘Are you gay or just very sexy?’ this offers an explanation or peace of mind and helps, if needed. ‘Just sexy’ he replied with some satisfaction. I told him, ‘this is Greece don’t be afraid to explore your sexuality’. This seemed to bother him and as an explanation he told me, that sometimes he feels lonely. I offered him a meal but he declined.
These brief encounters with youth can leave me feeling empty with an unidentified yearning and I wish that I were young again. But perhaps, it is only my age, sensitivity and the endless opportunities and some sense of trust that makes these precious encounters possible. My heart ached for that boy all day, not just for his company but also for his loneliness. That boy was a further proof of a gay sex encounter devoid of expectations, to be rewarding and of value. Any regrets later would be a result of preconditioning, nothing happened beyond sharing something uniquely human and profound with a soul mate at the right moment.
Alexander’s friend, the psychologist had offered to find me a Forensic psychologist but she’s had no luck. Being the victim of a confidence trickster and being drugged could be confirmed for the court by a professional witness.
Today I had the stitches taken out after the biopsy. It is turning dark and they thought it must be infected and gave me an antibiotic and a cream. It’s not infected just the blotch returning, but I didn’t bother to tell them
March 28, 2009
Nice Niko came this morning. The German with the crinoline ass was there. Niko likes to get sexually aroused before indicating that he’s interested in sex. Greeks don’t likes being approached until driven by need or choice. Niko prefers to keep his options open for as long as possible.
Feeling bored I joined Niko. He gave me no indication of wanting to be alone or wanting sex. I massaged his foot casually because it was within easy reach. This did not involve making any invasive change of position. Niko relaxed, so I scrubbed him back and front for a long time. The German makes regular visits to the changing room for a smoke. We heard the door close and Niko spread his legs wide. I kissed his ass and could feel his erections sticking out beyond his hip. He lifted his ass so I could hold his dick and balls while kissing and biting his ass.
Niko is active and preferred that I did not involve his ass in my attentions, but now every time we make love he spends a little longer relaxing before wanting to fuck. This time he remained with his ass against my face and I took hold of his dick and masturbated him while rubbing my beard on his cheeks. We heard the German return and once we could hear him pouring water I sucked Niko’s dick while holding his balls and letting my soapy fingers nestle near his anus.
The Hamam Diaries Continued Page 6