I now discover that the Wallace Simpson business was all a royal fiasco, so much so, I think this is worth recounting for your edification, on the nature of hypocrisy on a national level. Recently letters from Wallace to her husband have come to light. She loved her husband to the end of her life.
In the 1030s, Edward the future King of England fell in love with Mrs. Simpson. Royalty can only have sex with married women because the reputation of single girls must be protected. One way of gaining social status is to put one’s wife into a royal bed. The Simpsons were rich American social climbers and Mr. Simpson instigated the friendship between his wife and the future King of England. Edward was rather attractive, sporty and handsome in those days, but he always had special needs in the bedroom.
One French prostitute with whom Edward had become involved, got away with murder to prevent her talking about Edward. She had shot an Egyptian claiming that he sodomized her. The prostitute’s specialty was domination. Much to Wallace’s horror Edward announced to the world “I intend to give up the throne for the woman I love”. The world found it romantic but, Wallace who was on holiday in France was horrified. One acquaintance described Edward as the most boring man he had ever encountered and Wallace as being an intelligent, charming and gifted hostess. Wallace was always vilified, but it now transpires that she did her duty and she maintained appearances to her death.
It is an anomaly that the ruling classes demand honesty from the lower classes but in their own case where wealth, reputation or national security is concerned, diplomacy is paramount. Lying is not one of the ten commandants and in the affairs of state it seems that Shakespeare can be misquoted. To lie or not to lie, that is the question. During the days of empire one Chinese official remarked, “The British are a very devious people, they tell the truth.” It seems that diplomacy or lying is like dress sense, intrinsic to class.
May 14, 2010:
I am missing Nashwan, he is sensitive and I like his sense of humor. He can laugh at himself and he amuses me. When I insist on putting banana skins on the garden, he says, ‘What’s that for Sebastian, vitamins for plants?’ He finds humor in every situation; he is emotional and easily moved. He is vulnerable and aware; he makes western people seem clumsy, greedy and ugly by comparison.
May 22, 2010:
The Graphologist came but had to leave early for Athens, I could have seen him but my lawyer was needed on a different island.
I was visiting the sandy Gay beach when I saw two thin hairy legs sticking out from behind a rock. Nashwan sensed my presence and jumped up all smiles. He avoids the busy beach and was very pleased to see me. The first thing he told me was ‘Sebastian I can’t get my dick up for my friend.’ And laughing, he demonstrated how he had to put a condom on his fingers and turning his back on his friend shoved his fingers up his ass. He nearly fell down laughing as he demonstrated fucking an ass behind his back with his fingers. He asked if I would go home with him, ‘Sebastian I want sex system, come on’ it seems that he is heavily in debt for beer. First he offered me a hot shower while he made us tea and then he lay naked on his bed smiling at me. He let me explore his body with gentle caresses, I sucked his balls and spent a long time touching and stimulating his dick, ‘Sebastian can we do fucking system’ afterward he walked around naked with no shyness and when he caught me looking at his ass, he said, ‘you checking my ass again Sebastian’ I gave him ten euros to have copies made of some documents he needed.
May 21, 2010:
The Graphologist did not return as arranged. This morning I was writing in the park when a handsome Greek boy kept walking passed, but he did not make eye contact. I asked Manole if he was expensive, and with a knowing smile he replied ‘No, he’s a footballer and he’s very nice’ the boy began to hover within eye contact and then got his dick out. It was a good size and very rigid. He walked off but I didn’t follow then he returned stood in a place close to bushes where he got his dick out again. This time he maintained eye contact so I put my writing away and joined him. I found him in the bushes with his trouser round his ankles.
He is a very beautifully built and handsome young man. I sat on a stone and taking hold of his hips I drew him towards me, but first I picked his shirt up to appreciate the perfection of his body with his dick rising into my face like a branch. I caressed his dick with my face marveling at the feel of his full round ass. He smelt wonderful. I cradled his balls in my hand and kissed them pressing my face into his groin breathing through his pubic hair. Then I sucked his dick while caressing his ass. He bent forwards slightly giving my fingertips access to his anus. He responded to every caress of my lips and tongue as I took hold of his shaft and masturbated him into my mouth, his orgasm came easily and I emptied his semen into the grass. It is a curious fact that sometimes I want to watch an ejaculation at other times I want to catch it in my mouth and only occasionally do I choose to swallow it. The desire to ingest some people’s DNA is very strong but seemingly without logic or reason. That footballer is one of the healthiest and most beautiful young men I have encountered, but I chose not to swallow his sperm. He gave me time to enjoy the sight of his body and softening dick before pulling his trousers up and then with a slight gesture of thanks, he left.
May 24, 2010:
This morning the Pakistani rent boy came to sit with me in the park interrupting my writing. He seems to have forgotten that I don’t wish to pay for his services. He brushed my face and lips with a kiss. He touched my mouth with a fingertip and said, ‘Beautiful.’ I massaged the back of his neck and he was very tense. He whispered, ‘No money.’ This is a ploy used by the Gypsies to gain access for future opportunities to apply pressure for personal gain. I agreed to give him a massage but said I did not want sex. I took him home and fulfilled my promise. I offered him my change with the added comment, ‘it’s for cigarettes’ he accepted the money and left.
May 28, 2010:
Last night my solider friend arrived quite late and told me that his father was visiting. Sometimes he’s in the army, sometimes he has a room and now he has a father, I am learning to accept that everybody is lying to some degree. He didn’t want to fuck and said he only needed a massage. I am always amazed, how easily he strips off to stand naked, touching his dick in front of me. I massaged him and this time his dick was the sole focus of his needs. I kept him hovering on the brink of orgasm repeatedly. His dick was getting more rigid every time under the growing pressure of delayed orgasm. He wanted to take over but eventually he relaxed and left the final moments entirely in my hands. As his need to orgasm was getting beyond bearing, I applied my mouth to his engorged glance and rotated my head causing his ejaculation to explode in my mouth. His contractions continued, shaking his body as I sucked the last traces of sperm from him. Sitting back on my heels I gazed upon him, his emotions drained, his arms and legs wide and heavy, his lips parted but his eyes returned my gaze. I reached to touch his still engorged but now softening dick one last time.
May 29, 2010:
I must be out of my mind, I like Gypsy Yiannis but today I gave his brother fifteen euros for a fuck I didn’t want. He has his brother’s eyes but his dick was so small the condom didn’t stay in place. I agreed during a lax moment, out of curiosity. He is a nice boy but getting fat, I don’t begrudge him the fifteen euros but I do regret becoming involved. All the brothers have been rent boys. Yiannis is not gay but I suspect his fat brother could be. Their father is a drug dealer and their mother reputed to be a prostitute. They have a house and are originally from Albania.
May 30, 2010:
While writing in the park a vaguely familiar man said, ‘Hello Sebastian, what you doing here?’ Seeing my vague recognition, he added ‘Hamam two years ago.’ I had an instant memory of a small half cast pale Negro with a huge swinging dick, short and unattractive his color diluted to gray. ‘Yes, I massage you, but did we have sex?’ smiling he said, ‘No, I wasn’t alone and the Hamam was too busy.’ I asked, where he was from and he answered, �
��Athens’ and invited me to join him for a coffee. I was vaguely interested and agreed.
He wanted me to tell him about the massages and got excited when we discussed the straight men having spontaneous orgasms. We discussed my repeated mistake, I said, ‘I know I should not speak or comment but I seemed to need some form of closure.’ He understood exactly and explained the situation extremely well. ‘What excited them was the fact that it was impersonal,’ he continued, ‘it was the situation and yes, you are right, not touching their dicks pushed them to the point of orgasm’. Taking a breath, he concluded his dissertation, ‘but it was essential that there was no acknowledgement of sharing, or even awareness.’ I confirmed, ‘like a wet dream, having no external cause.’--- ‘Yes, I suppose so.’ and he continued, ‘you needed acknowledgment but they did not. Your involvement was the last thing they wanted to be reminded of’.
June 5, 2010:
The fat gipsy rent boy is becoming a nuisance, he turns up every day, we tried fucking again and the condom got lost. I like him trying to turn me on and feeling my balls but nothing else. So, I gave him thirty euros and told him not to return, that was a mistake, he will expect thirty euros every day for nothing. The concept of being ‘paid off’ is not part of a Gypsies understanding.
June 7, 2010:
Nashwan is returning and this will solve the problem of the fat Gypsy. I feel happy. He apologized for insufficient sex, asking for money and drinking too much beer. He told me that he has some money and when he finds work he will share expenses. He also says that he loves me. Now I am having doubts about my loss of freedom again.
Keith has returned with a present for me, a plastic device that one sticks up one’s ass before having a wank. It can cause orgasms without wanking if one concentrates. It is shaped to stimulate the prostate. Without experience and understanding dicks miss stimulating the prostate. Small dicks well placed can be more successful.
I discovered this fact regarding fucking and prostates at a party in Nottinghamshire, when some red-haired boy with a small dick insisted on kissing my ass before asking me to sit on his dick. I was very surprised to find an orgasm approaching from afar. He managed to maintain my increasing arousal and just touching my dick caused an orgasm so intense; it gave me a violent migraine.
I found the advert for the monthly party at a private house when I went to the HIV clinic. It was secreted amongst magazines in the waiting room. The host is a diabetic in his sixties who takes rat poison every day and regrets that he can no longer, “give the boys, what they want”. There were bowls of condoms in every room and I am told that there was a harness in the attic, but it was in use by a man and a boy who asked to be left in private. I gather it is used to suspend people from the ceiling for being fucked. I was also told that sometimes everybody at the party gets a chance to fuck some ass suspended from the ceiling. I was surprised at the number of farmers attending the party. I had no idea that farmers could be gay or even sexual. I watched porn videos and compared to straight porn I found them at least amusing. I had the thought ‘boys will be boys’, there was an innocence and the essential element of abuse was absent. One thin old man in his seventies, who went to school with Cousin Geoffrey, tried it on. He pressed his tiny dick against my thigh, I found it both disturbing and nauseating.
June 8, 2010:
Last night there were two beautiful men in the park, both gymnasts. One is a tall very well-built blond Italian who claims his dick is normal and very hard that probably means embryonic. His Albanian friend claims to have a big dick and specializes in fucking. Keith was joking with the beautiful blond about paying him one thousand euros and the Albanian came down to ten. I wanted to invite them both to the Hamam because I am curious and I could have discovered a lot from giving them a massage; had I still been employed. I get the impression that they are selling sex for fun or perhaps they are serious rent boys looking for serious clients.
I was also intrigued by a very handsome Greek boy who kept patrolling the park, but as soon as he realized that I might be interested he started unconsciously swaying his hips. It seems that rent boys selling their dicks sway their shoulders not their hips. Discussing passive or active gays with Savas, I told him that one can never be sure what they want from appearance or build. He agreed that the body builders are often ‘Very Bendy’ I told him that the outrageous Nancy boys can have the hardest dicks and are also versatile.
June 12, 2010:
Nashwan has arrived at last, he was pleased to see me but his money seems to have dwindled to twenty euros. He is looking for work and considering returning to Iraq. He is beginning to accept that his life here is unsatisfactory. I had prepared his bed on the floor but he hesitated before getting in, so I moved across my bed and said, ‘five minutes.’ Nashwan replied, ‘Ok Sebastian’ and putting his arms around my neck he molded his body to mine. As I caressed his naked, back, ass and thighs, he whispered ‘Sorry Sebastian, my dick’s soft’ and I replied, ‘Mine’s not.’ He eagerly reached for my dick and made some approving sound. After holding me tightly he whispered ‘Tomorrow we do sex system, ok Sebastian’ and he returned to his own bed. His body is now lean and hard but still pliable and yielding against mine. ‘Good night Sebastian, I love you.’--- ‘I love you too Nashwan.’
June 13, 2010:
Nashwan has told the fat Gypsy to stay away. This morning we were in my garden and the Gypsy boy opened the garden door and entered. He did not see us, Nashwan indicated to leave the situation to him. The Gypsy made no attempt to enter the house and Nashwan called to him in Greek. I discovered later that he told the boy to stay away because the landlord was afraid that he could steel something, but he also made it very clear that I was now his property and not free.
June 20, 2010:
Nashwan behaves as if he is happy with our relationship. He wants to take care of me but his cooking is primitive. Every morning he organizes his sex DVD, strips off and lies on my bed asking me to play with his dick. His erections are very hard. He told me he had approached two lesbians on the beach and got his dick out and said, “If you want my dick, it’s free”. This story seemed to excite him. He tells me that he is now interested in “Vagina” but all his DVDs are still up the ass and he tells me that all his friends prefer the ass. He maintains that not having had a woman is making him “crazy in the head”. He told me, “If I fuck woman I come in seconds Sebastian”. I recall mother mentioning that in her youth men mistook early ejaculation to be a sign of virility and manhood.
In cultures where women are over protected but not considered there seems to be a degree of ignorance regarding female sexuality. The west must be confusing to eastern boys because women appear to be available but they are not, they have free choice and demand sexual satisfaction. I recall that when the female orgasm became common knowledge, it was a shock to many men, because they had no concept that there was more required of them beyond their own satisfaction and, unloading.
June 24, 2010:
Keith has gone home; we meet briefly and he brought me his hotel towels and the soap he collects. He has been very busy this year; he is in demand from many men, both married and unmarried who needed to fuck. He was approached in the park only last night by a thirty-four-year-old sturdy Greek who said, “I am not a gay man but I want to fuck you. My girlfriend is a problem” Keith took him back to his hotel and was given a very considerate and passionate fuck. Keith told me ‘Sebastian, get a complete work over and smile.’ He then elaborated, ‘you look unavailable and superior.’ I thought but didn’t say ‘I am superior I can’t help it’. He saw dirty Tassos getting a blowjob on the beach from a thirty-year-old European. Now Dirty Tassos is telling everybody, “One of those European gays sucked my dick” he says this as if he had to fight him off.
June 25, 2010:
Savas told me that the very beautiful blond Italian has got a four-inch dick. Nashwan has made arrangements to fuck two boys from the Philippines every time they call. They are off a cruise ship a
nd will be here on a regular basis. “They beautiful Sebastian, I told them thirty euros each and they have my telephone number. I will try to bring them for you.” I don’t have a clue what Nashwan is doing, he spends the day meeting ships and tonight he has gone to the airport.
Yesterday I was writing in the park when I saw him organizing two boys from Egypt. They had hand luggage only and they looked like University students, being well dressed, handsome beyond belief and beautifully built. One left for Milan last night. They both gave me a look of deep vulnerability as if begging for care and human shelter. My heart opened to them like a bird in flight and it felt as if I was falling in love. Nashwan said, ‘Please Sebastian, don’t ever forget there are no gays in Islam. Don’t look at them.’
June 30, 2010:
Nashwan is not short of money, he is busy all day with travel agents and his pockets are full of passports. I gather he hands over the passport with a boarding card on the airport. His own passport arrived this morning from Switzerland, he spent one year working in a hotel before being deported. He has a false Greek visa and he says it is safer to travel without a passport. Nashwan said, ‘Sebastian if I had a black heart I could be rich. Some people lock them in a room and they see nothing and can only leave if they pay. I feed them and keep them safe and even find hotel room.’ Nashwan has not said but I presume he is an agent working with illegal immigrants.
July 1, 2010:
The Hamam Diaries Continued Page 21