I have been very unfortunate with the art market. I must content myself with the pleasure of having surrounded myself with beauty and history all my life. Shahzad no longer goes to the park every night. He seems to be losing his fascination with the decadent west. I don’t think he was very interested beyond curiosity. He is much happier since he met Saki and they have become close friend. The other Paki friends were not his class and he must have felt some embarrassment about living with an old man. He is continually in touch with Carla, in secret.
October 6, 2011:
I have transferred all my G.B.P back to England because Greece could go bankrupt at any time and Germany is tired of footing the bill. If everybody withdraws their money Greece will be bankrupt. The woman in the bank, who does the transfers, took about two hours. I gave her the paying in number of my bank in England and she said, ‘I need the IBAN number.’ I said, ‘That’s it’ she replied, ‘No, it begins GB.’ So, I fetched my internet banking IBAN number and she said, ‘No, this is for internet banking only and we don’t use internet.’ She spent a long time going through all bank transfers until she found the number I had given her in the first place all it needed was the GB in front. She did the transfer and then made a special point of writing out the IBAN number for me. I am going to have a T-shirt printed with the words ‘WHAT THE FUCKS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE’.
October 7, 2011:
I telephoned my brother to ask about a cheque from Bonham’s for some Chinese pottery that had not been paid yet. He telephoned back to tell me that they had just received a cheque for 4000 pounds and he had found by chance, a cheque for 7000 pounds with the rubbish to be discarded. He had received the cheque and they both forgot to bank it. Had it been lost I would never have known. Their lack of interest and concern with my welfare is contrived.
Shahzad has cancelled his application for political asylum. I am going to try and get him a domestic worker’s visa for the UK. We asked at the office and they said, “Your passport will be returned in ten days, sign here to say that you will not return”. Shahzad was a bit concerned about making a signature, but I said, ‘sign, you will never be allowed to stay and without freedom you are wasting your life.’ He hopes to be home in time for his brother’s wedding.
October 12, 2011:
Carla has decided to return to Greece at the end of October, Shahzad is very happy and they are constantly in touch by SMS but he still sends his messages in secret. Yesterday Carla telephoned me; she was very upset about something irrelevant. I had a long talk with her; I told her that Shahzad is Muslim, irresponsible and very young for his age. She replied, ‘Perhaps I have made a big mistake to have feelings for him’ I continued, ‘The reality of life in a Muslim country is not comprehensible to a western mind.’ It seems that she has not taken my warning seriously. I presume she is returning to check her own and Shahzad’s feelings. I wonder if Shahzad’s infatuation originates in his heart or his mind. Getting married in Europe is the only sure way of getting residence status. The mind takes control of us and it has its own agenda; can it turn a gay boy straight to achieve its ends?
October 13, 2011:
I am waiting for a decision on my appeal. I made the appeal about the dismissal of my case for the return of my money. I won that case but it was dependent on a graphologist report. The Graphologist made no attempt to discover how or why I singed a receipt for money I did not receive. I have never been questioned about the confidence tricks played on Claire and myself, nor have we been questioned on how I came to sign a receipt for a loan I did not receive. The appeal has been presented and I believe it is the second time. We are waiting to find out what proof the Judges require to justify our appeal.
Shahzad is watching all episodes of ‘Sex and the city’ it could help him to evaluate the west and to question the east. I find that ‘Sex and the City’ behind the entertainment value always has an agenda intended to question, enlighten and educate. Last night Shahzad turned ‘Sex and the city’ off and said, ‘Let’s go to bed.’ he climbed into my bed in his new ‘sleeping suit’ as I called it when I bought him pajamas and, as always he laid face down waiting for me to touch him before removing his Pajamas.
I would prefer to let friendship progress to affection and then by mutual consent to sex. Shahzad likes me to undressed him and he finds being naked very erotic. I ran my hands over his head and shoulders, down his back and he felt golden, his ass pillowey and his dick hard and thick. He likes to be passive but he is beginning to respond by gently offering himself to my hands and kisses. He pushes his anus against my face and he likes his ass bitten gently. I sucked his dick and balls then masturbated him very slowly to a relaxed and abundant satisfying orgasm.
Shahzad remained relaxed until every trace of semen was milked from his dick and I had dried him with a towel. He is becoming very long and lean. I like my muscular brown boy more every day. He spends a lot of time rereading Carla’s messages under his covers. I could lose my friend or even worse, he could start living a lie. There seems to be an endless supply of brown boys all prepared to sell their souls for a home. One thing has become very clear; Carla is unbalanced and neurotic. My fate is still in the hands of chance. Will Shahzad chose the neurotic menopausal Christian or me, but even more worrying, will my friend get his UK visa?
Claire surpassed her-self once again. She was talking to a secretary at my estate agent’s office in Nottingham and she finished by switching to broad Yorkshire with the words, ‘Eee, its Luvely to ear a midlands accent luv’ before passing the telephone back to me. The girl was too shocked to speak. Claire can switch to any accent but she hasn’t understood that people are unaware of their own accent and she comes across as being not only mocking but unpleasant.
October 18, 2011:
My soldier arrived last night, he had been telephoning me but I didn’t recognize the number. He came to our house and told Shahzad a story. ‘I have just been for a massage but she wanted 50 euros so I’ve come to see Sebastian, he’s good, have you had a massage?’ Shahzad seemed indifferent to his ploy and left the house. So, I locked the door and my soldier was naked on my bed by the time I got to my bedroom. I sat on his ass and massaged his shoulders. He gasped his need as I moved down his fine body and he raised his ass for me as my dick came in line with his anus. I was fully dressed; it increases his sense of naked vulnerability.
He kept asking about Shahzad because he wants to be fucked while I suck his dick. I said I would ask. Kneeling between his legs he spread them wide lifting his ass. ‘Look at my asshole.’ I covered his ass with body lotion and pushed my fist against his soft center between his magnificent buttocks and the bones of his ass. ‘Get the plastic dick I want the big one.’ He loves to watch the plastic dick as I insert it through a slit in a thick leather belt and strap it over my dick and then cover it with lubricant. Once satisfied by this ritual, he knelt on the edge of the bed with his legs wide, his ass raised, his shoulders and face buried in my blankets. I heard a muffled request ‘Very slowly.’
It seemed that the huge plastic end could never ease into his pink slit so I inserted two fingers covered in Vaseline and then placed the dildo, shiny with lubricant, against his relaxing sphincter. I must hold the dildo rigid so he can push back onto it. One inch was instantly engulfed but I didn’t move. I waited as his muffled voice asked ‘Wait.’ I enjoy this moment most of all. I can relish his broad back narrow waist and plump firm ass and his eager need to be entered on the brink of tolerable pain. I could feel his sphincter easing stage by stage as he pushed back onto the dick. Once half inside he took a rest and with the slightest change of angel I pushed all 20 centimeters inside. Normally I can feel him jolt when I reach his limit, but this time we found the right angle and the dick was swallowed completely, so I could embrace his firm cheeks with my groin.
I enjoyed the feel of his ass against my groin. The soldier had a sudden need to check if the door was locked. He stood at my bedroom door peering into the unlit room beyond. I told h
im, ‘I locked the door and Shahzad will be with his friends.’ His round ass looked inviting as he continued peering around the door. He obviously wanted to be taken by surprise so standing behind him, I placed my hands on his groin and bending my knees I inserted the dick into his now welcoming ass.
Holding his very hard dick I pulled him back onto the dildo. His legs are too short and I was not well balanced. I whispered, ‘Come on put your hands on the wall.’ Holding his dick in my right hand and his groin with my left, I held him against my body. I found my balance and could fuck with a smooth easy rhythm, but was unable to achieve full penetration. I change my angel and rammed his prostate quite hard until he reached back to hold my ass. Masturbating him hard, he pushed against me rotating his ass and his orgasm exploded. He immediately stood up and the plastic dick was removed. Then facing, our heads pressed together he let me masturbate him as great blobs of sperm dropped between us. I wiped his dick and ass with a towel and kicked the plastic dick under the bed. He got dressed as if nothing had happened. I asked, ‘I want your name in my mobile so when you call I know it’s you.’ He asked, ‘Are there any problems?’ I felt some concern for Shahzad but said, ‘No, as long as Shahzad is not at home.’ He left looking as if an important job had been accomplished to his satisfaction.
October 20, 2011:
Carla has arrived. Shahzad took his bag to the hotel last night. This morning he had no problems waking up and leaving at 05:30. I insisted he took condoms and he said, ‘Ok Sebastian but I will hide them. I promise nothing will happen we are just friends.’ Carla has booked them both into a hotel. She is placing Shahzad in a situation of cultural shock. He is a Muslim boy from a country where there is no social interaction between the sexes, unless within the family. His country is so obsessed by forbidden sex that if a man and woman are alone it is presumed that illicit sex took place. In Shahzad’s country sex without marriage is only possible with a prostitute, a whore or a western woman.
So perhaps there is no problem for Shahzad. Carla doesn’t realize that the problem will be hers, because in an eastern boy mind she has lost her reputation and her worth. I was wondering how we would entertain Carla but it seems my concerned was unnecessarily. I presume he met her at the airport and I haven’t seen them all day. He telephoned me to tell me their plans for the next three days. If Shahzad is in love I will be supportive. He told me that if she insisted on sex he would have no problems fucking her. He is from a culture which accepts fucking with boys in secret is a substitute until marriage and what might be called, ‘the real thing’. The house is silent; his unoccupied mattress on my floor corresponds to the emptiness in my heart. I am sure that this is very important experience for Shahzad to understand himself and life.
October 21, 2011:
I am missing Shahzad more than I expected, there is a great void in my life. I love him, he is easy company, undemanding and the sex is lovely. He sent me an SMS. ‘Hello Sebastian, you ok? You have dinner? We are ok.’ I sent back ‘Not yet, it’s cooking, hope you are both happy.’ then I wondered if they wanted an invitation, so when I got no reply I telephoned. Shahzad was embarrassed, his voice tense and high. I said, ‘Do you want to eat.’--- ‘No we have eaten.’ He sounded relieved and urgent, he told me they had been very busy and Carla has a present for me and they will come and visit me later. Then in a soft warm voice he said, ‘I miss you.’--- ‘I miss you too, and I can’t sleep.’ He sounded relieved at this news. Poor boy, he must be run off his feet with excessive female demands. Perhaps this will help him to discover who he is.
October 24, 2011:
Shahzad is still tired, last night he went to bed at 18:00 hrs. without eating and since I had a migraine I did the same. It was interesting when he arrived with Carla to visit me. She gave me a nice soft scarf and some wonderful chocolates combining caramel, milk chocolate and a hazel nut. She has excellent taste, she got the same scarf for Saki and Shahzad all slightly different colors and exactly right. Shahzad kept laying claim to me with little touches and smiles and Carla rebuked him for too much familiarity.
She talked incessantly and they left in a flurry of hysteria. Shahzad ran back to whispered, ‘I miss you.’ I went to lie down to recover. When he arrived after saying good bye to Carla, he gave me a very rudimentary but essential hug, with a minimum of contact as always. Carla has loaded him with presents and there was no sex. They shared expenses and that cost me 130 euros.
Shahzad has managed to block the toilet. I shouted, ‘Shahzad, you didn’t shit for three days.’ Laughing, he said, ‘No Sebastian, I couldn’t shit’ I added, ‘You’re even worse than Vincent.’ Never in my life have I known this degree of familiarity and it is a revelation to me. With a smile Shahzad handed me the condoms saying, ‘You see, I told you so.’ Smiling I said, ‘Yes I know I checked while you were asleep.’
It was time to talk, ‘So what was it like sleeping with a woman?’ looking relived he told me, ‘It was alright, I had to keep poking her because I couldn’t sleep, she makes noise all night’ ‘what did you say’ ‘I said, less noise please’ I am very happy that he has the confidence to tell her, I would have suffered in silence. I asked, ‘Did nothing happen at all’ he looked indifferent, ‘I told you Sebastian we just friends.’--- ‘Did you enjoy yourself?’--- ‘Yes, but she make very tired.’
November 1, 2011:
Shahzad still has not got his passport returned. The shop ZARA has got the new seasons fashions and Shahzad wants a black coat but he still sees himself as very slim and he is determined to buy a coat one size too small.
We took another appeal to the court house regarding the case for my money. I dressed for the occasion and I parted with another 350 euros but we did not meet the D.A.
There seems to be a problem with Shahzad’s passport, it still has not been return. Shahzad took Saki for an explanation and they told us that Shahzad’s passport has been sent to Pakistan for verification because they believe it is a forgery. Shahzad thinks that he saw the official throw his application to return home into the waste bin. Greece has more illegal immigrants crossing its borders than any other European country. Claire has been telling me for weeks that they will deport them all and that’s one reason I feel so anxious, but now that they have an immigrant who wants to go home they are making it impossible. If Shahzad had been working and already left his job he would by now, be in serious financial trouble.
November 9, 2011:
Last night my soldier friend arrived without telephoning. He has stopped being discrete and Shahzad went into the kitchen. The soldier asked me if Shahzad would fuck him. I said, ‘I don’t know, I will ask him but I don’t think he’s very happy’ I could hear Shahzad banging the pots about him the sink. We will have more chipped cups and plates. I said to Shahzad, ‘My soldier friend wants to know if you will fuck him?’ his voice was too high, he said, ‘No I don’t want to fuck him’ I asked, ‘Is there a problem?’ and Shahzad in a tight voice replied, ‘No, why should they be?’ I put my hand on his shoulder and whispered ‘I will tell him to leave.’
November 10, 2011:
Yesterday I had a nasty shock. My brother telephoned, he has a document stating that the bailiffs are going to remove all the furniture in my apartment for unpaid council tax. I telephoned my estate agent for advice and was told, ‘Well you had better pay it then, hadn’t you’ so I have sent a cheque for 250 GBP.
Shahzad is starting to talk about Carla, they had a double bed but it had two mattresses. She put the light out when she got undressed and got into bed. He once came out of the toilet while she was half dressed and she was angry. Shahzad told me that it was very strange for him but he added, ‘She did nothing so I did nothing. I would have fucked her if she had wanted’ and she talked him into a stupor. I am proud of my friend; I feel at ease with him and I like him more every day.
November 16, 2011:
We visited the immigration police yet again. They didn’t even check but told us to bring a lawyer. On the steps
of the court house Shahzad pointed to a powerful blond woman with lips painted up to her nose. She was in conversation with a handsome Paki boy and she had the look of being enamored. “That’s the lawyer the Paki boys all use, that’s Melissa”. So, we stood hovering waiting for a chance to speak and she kept on talking then she deployed her mobile repeatedly and we continued to hover.
In a brief gap, I addressed her, “Excuse me Melissa can you spare just one moment please” and we shriveled in her silent glare, but I continued, “My friend wants to go home, he has asked for his passport but we are still waiting”. She proclaimed, “But he can’t have it, he has applied for political asylum.” Slightly puzzled, I continued, “He has signed a document withdrawing his application and he even signed that he will not return.” I found myself lost for words especially when she said, “But he has got to sign documents, and why can’t you understand, they don’t want them.” This trigged my self-possession, “He signed on October the 12th”. Very red in the face she screamed, “How often do I have to tell you, he can’t have his passport because he is applying for political asylum.” feeling acerbic I responded, ‘You have not listened to or understood a single word I have said. He does not want Asylum he wants to go home, so why can’t he have his passport?”--- “Perhaps they sent it to Athens’ and she was gone. She could have said that in the first place and not wasted so much time. She is charging 300 euros to arrange pink cards. Our English lawyer charged us one hundred euros for getting Shahzad’s pink card reinstated and that involved a lot of work.
November 17, 2011:
The Hamam closed at the end of October. It says ‘closed’ on the door. Now I hear that it has been closed for good to save money because of the recession and poor attendance. This is so very Greek; nobody from the Mayor downward took responsibility for its organization, efficiency, attendance or future, except Vangelis and they stopped him. They could have closed it for the winter only because it is now obvious that this old town has no further use for a, public bath. But such a decision would have required a degree of awareness and Greeks don’t have any. I am lost for words; I don’t need to mention its recent history and demise yet again. This is a loss to the world in a city deemed a world treasure, but I wouldn’t know how to make a Greek comprehend this historical and cultural loss, to say nothing of the possibility of new regular visitors and the pink pound, year after year, if it had been hot and clean.
The Hamam Diaries Continued Page 29