He skimmed his hand down over her breasts, to her stomach and the down to where she ached for him. "And I love the way you look when you come for me."
He gave her a tender smile. "You make me feel like a man again, Livia. You make me whole."
Shamelessly, she rubbed herself against him. And when she came, she cried out from it.
Adron smiled at her then, and held her close.
They spent the rest of the day, lying naked in each other's arms, caressing and stroking, and just talking about absolutely nothing important. It was the best day of Adron's life, and he kept her up until the wee hours of the morning for fear of it ending.
###
That day was followed by three more days of bliss.
Adron was constantly amazed by the woman fate had miraculously dumped into his life. She was funny, intelligent and so incredibly giving that it made him hurt. How he wished he was the husband she deserved. It pained him to think of her spending the rest of her vivacious life strapped to him.
"Hi."
He looked up from the book he was reading to see her standing in the doorway. Her hair was still damp from her bath and her eyes glowed mischievously.
"Hi," he said reservedly, unsure of what that look might herald for him.
She walked slowly toward the bed. "Would you like to go out for a bit today?"
Yes, he would. More than she would ever know. "I can't."
"C'mon, Adron. You told me your therapist said you needed more exercise."
"Not today. My leg is too stiff. Why don't you call Zarina?"
"Because I'd rather be with you."
The woman was the biggest fool he'd ever known.
She sat beside him. "Here." She placed her hands on his knee.
Adron tensed as the warmth seeped into his leg. "How do you do that?" he asked as the pain ebbed.
"My mother taught me. She comes from a long line of great healers."
She gently massaged his knee and leg. "I wish I could get you to her. She'd be able to heal you in an instant."
"Really?"
She looked askance at him. "You don't believe me?"
"Let's just say I have a hefty dose of skepticism. I only believe what I can see and touch."
She rolled her eyes at him. "Feeling better now?"
"Yes."
"Then, join me."
How could he say no to that? Besides, he hated being home all the time. He left the bed, but didn't go far before she stopped him. "You still have to use your cane. I don't want you back in the hospital."
He growled as she handed it him. "I hate this thing."
"I know." She wrapped her arms around his and took him outside for the first time since he'd returned from the hospital.
"So, where are we going?" he asked.
She hailed a transport. "I want to go to the park."
"Why?"
"Because, and I know this is a new concept for you, but we might actually have fun."
He touched her cheek and watched the way her eyes sparkled with life. "I've never allowed anyone to talk to me the way you do."
"That's what Zarina said last night. She also said she was amazed I was still alive."
He laughed at her as the transport pulled up. Once they reached the park, he allowed Livia to lead him toward the large pond.
"Want to try a paddle boat?" she asked.
"I'm too old for a paddle boat."
"You're twenty-nine, Adron. Not an ancient by any stretch of the imagination."
"I'm too old for a paddle boat," he reiterated. "And even if I wasn't, I couldn't pedal it anyway."
"I'll do it."
"I'm not helpless."
She glared at him. "I know that. It's okay to let others help you from time to time, Adron. Why are you so afraid of it?"
He clenched his teeth, and looked away. She took his chin in her hand and turned his head back to where he met her questing gaze. "Answer me."
Rage clouded his vision as agony coiled inside him. "You want to know what I'm afraid of? I'm afraid every morning when I wake up that this will be the day when I can no longer move for myself. I know it's coming. It's just a matter of time until I have no choice, except to have someone else clothe me, feed me. Change my diaper. And I can't stand it."
"Then, why don't you kill yourself?"
"Because every time I think of doing that, I can hear my family praying over me while I was in the hospital. I hear my mother weeping, my father begging me not to die." He swallowed. "I could never intentionally hurt them that way."
The love in her eyes scorched him. "You are the strongest man I have ever known."
"Weakest fool, you mean."
She shook her head and gave him a tender smile. "Come, husband." She led him to the paddle boats.
Reluctantly, he got inside one and let her take them out to the center of the pond.
"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" she asked.
Adron leaned back and stared at the sky. The light blue was covered in soft, white clouds and the warmth of the sun felt good on his skin. "It's okay."
She rolled her eyes at him. "You're such a pessimist."
In spite of himself, Adron ran a hand down her bare arm that was exposed by her sleeveless tunic. He touched the faint scar on her shoulder and frowned. "Who beat you?"
A hint of sadness flashed on her face, but she quickly recovered. "My father."
"Why?"
She leaned forward and whispered as if imparting a great secret to him. "I tend not to do what other people want me to do."
"I noticed." He laced his hand through her hair. "But I think I like that about you."
She smiled, and instantly the day was brighter.
Livia watched the way Adron leaned back on his elbows as he stared at her. His white shirt was pulled taut over the muscles of his stomach and chest. His broad shoulders were thrown back and his biceps were flexed with the promise of strength and power. The wind teased the white-blond queue. Goodness, he was gorgeous even with the scar on his cheek.
"Tell me something," she asked as she paused in her pedaling. "Why was a royal heir in the League?"
He sighed. "I wasn't the heir at the time I enlisted."
The knowledge surprised her. "No?"
"I used to have an older sister." The pain on his face was profound and went deeper than the one he wore when his body hurt him.
"I'm sorry. What happened to her?"
"She and my father fought over Thia's choice of a husband. In a fit of anger, she stormed out of the palace and vanished. My father's been trying to find her for years, but we've had no word of her."
Now it all made sense to her. That was the real reason he hadn't killed himself. His family had already lost one child, and he had seen their grief first hand. Had felt it himself.
"You miss her," she said, noting the agony in his eyes.
"A lot. She used to arm-wrestle me to the ground."
She smiled at the teasing in his voice.
He sighed. "She was the best confidant I had growing up. I could tell her anything and know it would never reach the ears of my parents."
She reached out and took his hand into hers. "Tell me something, Adron. Something you've never shared with anyone else. Not even Thia."
"I'm the one who glued Zarina to the toilet seat when she was seven."
Livia burst out laughing. "I was serious."
"I am, too. I'd meant to get Jayce, but she made a mad dash for the room and ran into it before he did. Poor Taryn ended up taking the blame for it."
"And you never confessed?"
"If you've ever seen my father truly angry, you'd know the answer to that. I was only thirteen and my father was a giant to me back then."
"So what happened to Taryn?"
"He was restricted from playing ball for the whole summer season."
Livia frowned. "That doesn't seem so bad a punishment. Why were you afraid to own up to it?"
"Because I knew my father would pun
ish me twice as severely since I not only did it, but I let someone else pay for it. My father is a firm believer in justice." He squeezed her hand. "It was a cowardly thing, I know, and I spent the whole summer, staying home with Taryn to make it up to him."
"Did he know you were the one who did it?"
He shook his head. "No. It's always been my guilty secret."
And now it was hers, too.
"What of you?" he asked. "Tell me who you were running from at The Golden Crona."
Her face flamed. "It was horrible. My father was going to marry me to Clypper Thoran."
"The Giradonal Governor?"
"Yes."
Adron frowned as he stared at her. "Good Lord, he's what? A hundred and fifty?"
"Eighty-two."
His jaw dropped as he shuddered. "Your father was going to marry you to an eighty-two year old man?"
She nodded. "He wants a trade agreement with them, and Clypper wanted a young wife."
"No wonder you didn't mind me," Adron said with a snort. "One way or another, you were bound to end up as some man's nursemaid."
She lost her temper at him, then. "You know, I'm tired of your self-pity, Adron. Instead of thinking of all the things you no longer have, you should concentrate on what you do have."
"And what is that?"
"A family who loves you. And though your body is damaged, at least your mind isn't."
"Yeah well, trapped in an invalid body happens to be my worst nightmare."
Livia glared at him. "I would rather be crippled than mindless. My worst fear is ending up as a vegetable trapped in a whole, sound body. So, from where I'm sitting you have nothing to complain about."
His frown deepened. "Why would you fear something like that?"
"I saw my grandmother die that way. It was terrible. She lay in a hospital bed, hooked to monitors and machines for almost a year before they finally let her die."
"Why did they do that?"
"Because they couldn't let her go." Her look intensified. "If your mind was gone, Adron, you couldn't be here with me now. You wouldn't be able to see the sky above us, hear the children laughing or anything else. You would be trapped in cold, awful darkness."
"Okay!" he said, wanting this conversation to end. It was too gruesome even for him to contemplate. "You made a good a point." She'd obviously given this a lot of thought. "You're right, I am a self-pitying bastard. But I will endeavor to be a little less so."
"Promise?"
"As long as you're with me, yes."
###
Weeks went by as Adron tried to keep his word to her. Some days it was easier than others. And today it was particularly difficult.
"Come on, Adron," his therapist said as she increased the weight on his leg. "You can lift it."
Grinding his teeth against the pain, he hated the patronizing tone Sheena always used. Like a mother coaxing a small child.
"That's it. You're doing fine. Good boy."
"Go to hell," he snarled.
"Adron!" Livia snapped at him as she came forward to stand beside him. "You behave."
Adron curled his lip. This was the first time he'd allowed Livia to come with him to his therapy in the hospital. And if she kept that tone up, it would be the last.
"It's all right," Sheena said. "He says that to me a lot."
Livia reached out and took his hand in hers. Adron's heart pounded at the softness of her touch.
God, he'd gotten so used to her. Had become dependent on her and that terrified him more than anything else.
"Be nice," she said.
Holding her hand over his heart, he nodded. And then he lifted his leg.
"See, I knew you could do it."
He ignored Sheena.
"Okay, let's try some pulls."
Adron let go of Livia and sat up slowly. But no sooner was he upright, than he felt the familiar burning in his chest. Two seconds later, his nose started bleeding and he coughed up blood.
"Dammit," he snarled as Sheena grabbed a towel.
He laid back down while Sheena ran to get Theo.
Livia brushed his hair back from his damp forehead. The tenderness of her touch and look scorched him. And it made him yearn even more for a way to love her like she deserved to be loved.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"I just damaged another internal organ. Who knows which one. Since they're all pretty much soup, it could be..."
His voice trailed off as Theo came in with a Gurney and three orderlies.
"You know, Adron," Theo said as the orderlies picked him up and placed him on the Gurney, "if you want to spend the night with me, there are easier ways of going about it. You could just ask."
He wasn't amused by Theo's playfulness. "I want to go home."
"Maybe tomorrow." Theo put an oxygen mask on his face.
Adron pulled it off. Livia put it back on. Adron met her gaze.
"I'll call your parents." Holding his hand, she walked beside him as Theo wheeled him through the familiar hallways.
When they reached the scanning room, Adron reluctantly let go of her. Livia's heart was heavy as she watched the doors close behind him. How she wished she had her mother's healing powers. Her mother could make him whole again. So could you. True, but if she did, she'd lose him forever.
###
Adron spent two days in the hospital before Theo let him go home again. While he'd been in the hospital, Livia had stayed with him the entire time and though it was selfish of him, he loved it.
As soon as they were back in his flat, they had gone to bed and hadn't emerged except to attend basic needs like food and drink.
###
Livia came awake slowly. She blinked open her eyes to find herself lying in bed, wrapped in her husband's arms. Adron was still asleep, but even so, he had a tight grip on her as if he was afraid she'd vanish. Smiling, she picked his hand up and placed a kiss over his scarred knuckles. Then, she heard someone in the outer room. At first, she assumed it was the cleaning lady who came twice a week, until she heard Taryn call Adron's name.
"Hey, bud," he said, throwing open the door, "I need..." Taryn took one look at them lying naked in the bed and turned around to give them his back.
"Sorry, Livia," he said. "I assumed by three o'clock in the afternoon the two of you would be up."
Adron rubbed his stubbled cheek against her shoulder as he came awake. "I need to learn to lock my door," he said.
She laughed.
Taryn snorted. "I'm going to go out here and wait until you two get dressed."
Adron brushed his hand over her hair and she felt his erection against her hip. "Why don't you keep walking until you get to the other side of the front door?"
"Ha, ha," Taryn said as he closed the door. "By the way, your wife has a great body."
Heat exploded across her face.
Adron gave her a stern frown. "Say the word, and I'll kill him for you."
She smiled. "It's okay, if you did that, Tiernan would miss him."
Adron rolled over slowly and reached for his injector and medicine on the night stand.
Livia cringed as he gave himself a shot in the stomach. How she wished he didn't have to do that every few hours. Unfortunately, he would have to do it for the rest of his life. His features strained, he left the bed and dressed. While he went to speak to his brother, she headed into the bathroom for a shower. She took her time, letting the hot water cascade over her, until she felt someone watching her. Turning around, she saw Adron leaning against the wall, staring straight at her.
"You startled me," she said while the hot water slid against her back.
"Sorry, I was just wishing I could join you."
It amazed her how comfortable she'd become around him. Her nudity in front of him had long since ceased to bother her. As did his. In fact, she'd learned every dip and curve of his tawny flesh. Every scar.
She glanced over to the tub a few feet away. "Want me to join you?"
He smile
d. "Yes."
Livia turned the shower off, then ran them a tub full of water. Adron got in first, then pulled her in on top of him.
"Careful!" she warned as a wave of panic went through her. "I don't want to hurt you."
"You could never hurt me," he said, then he claimed her lips with his.
Livia moaned. Oh, but she would never get tired of his kiss. His touch. Pulling back, Adron stared at her in awe. Her lips were swollen from his kiss and her cheeks red from his whiskers. He ran his hand over her ravaged skin.
"I'm sorry," he said, reaching for his razor in the cubby hole in the wall above his head.
She sat beside him, watching him shave with a frown on her face. "Wouldn't that be easier with a mirror?"
"Probably."
"Then, why don't you use one?"
He paused and looked away from her. "I don't like looking in mirrors and I damn sure don't want to do it first thing every morning."
She took the razor from his hand and to his shock, she shaved the scarred side of his face. "You are incredibly handsome."
Adron stared at her doubtfully. "When I was younger, I was really vain about it. Zarina used to tease me that I looked at my reflection so much that one day the Tourah beast was going to come and steal my face from me." He dropped his gaze to the floor. "I guess she was right. He did."
Livia rinsed the soap from his face. "You know, there is a bright side to all you suffered."
"And that is?"
She hesitated as if gathering her thoughts. "Tell me truthfully, Adron. If Kyr hadn't scarred you, would you have taken me home that night at The Golden Crona? Would you have even looked twice at me?"
Adron opened his mouth to deny it, but he couldn't. She was right. She was beautiful to him now, a vital part of his life, and yet he would never have looked twice at her before Kyr had crippled him. That thought cut him all the way to his soul.
"I wish I could be whole for you," he whispered. "I wish I could hold you and dance with you, take you in my arms and make love to you the way I want to."
"And I'm just grateful I have you, at all. It's not your body or face that I love, Adron. It's your heart, your soul, and your mind."
He trembled at her words, then he pulled her to him and kissed her. She moved carefully into his lap.
Adron nibbled her lips as he felt her sliding her hand over his shoulders, down his arms. She lifted her hips, then impaled herself on him. They moaned simultaneously. Bracing her hands on the edge of the tub, she rode him hard and fast, making him blind from the pleasure of her body surrounding his. And for the first time, he was grateful to Kyr. Grateful he'd found Livia. God help him if anything should happen to her. She was the one thing he could never lose. The one thing that could truly destroy him. His throat tight, he watched her as she climaxed in his arms. The pleasure on her face tore through him. And as he felt her body tighten around him, he surrendered himself to his own release.
Fire and Ice Page 5