by Eve Langlais
She’d brought a man in loafers to the tunnels.
What was wrong with her?
Nothing a good bite won’t fix.
Rawrgh.
Chapter Nine
Melly scowled something fierce. She looked like she wanted to bite his head off. Probably thought him the biggest idiot, too. Yet the moment Theodore encountered the trio that greeted them with guns, he’d known he had to be bold. How else would he get close enough to see for himself the layers to this underground operation?
Literally underground. The subbasement opened into a series of tunnels with occasional ladders going up, even more going down. Down into the dark bowels where the light of day never penetrated.
Terrifying and yet exhilarating all at once. He, Theodore Loomer, the Ice Man with the highest dollar count when it came to collecting owed taxes, was heading into danger. He’d lost count of the people they’d encountered. They were armed with guns and, in a few cases, long knives. Might even be swords.
He’d left the rules behind and entered a lawless place where he could end up hurt or killed. It was hard to wrap his mind around the fact that Melly, she of the sweet taste and passionate noises, had actually been here before. Exactly what kind of woman was she?
The kind to make him act for his own pleasure rather than for his work. That didn’t usually happen. He couldn’t let it happen, not with this being such a big case. He couldn’t afford to be distracted, which was why he needed to get a bead on this Marney person.
The trail went up and down and backtracked, too, by his estimation. The obfuscation method worked quite well. He was lost.
Yet oddly he didn’t worry. Keeping cool was his thing. Ice cold. It disarmed people more than any blustering or posturing.
He knew they’d arrived at their destination by the doorway trimmed in blinking Christmas lights with extra guards stationed outside. Sparkling and bright, the lights only served to showcase the damp stone walls. Of true interest, though, was how his allergies remained calm. He didn’t do well with musty scents. They usually clogged his sinuses, but he remained clear. Remarkably un-tickly, too.
Perhaps a sign he was improving?
Entering behind Shania, he was taken aback at the sight that greeted him. For one thing, they’d obviously left the sewers behind. While he’d seen signs of habitation during their travels—curtains hung over passages, mattresses surrounded by piles of belongings—he’d not expected to find a town.
The giant cavern, lit with hundreds of strings of lights, was a motley medley of natural stone hollowed out by water and time, along with a ramshackle assembly of shacks. Some were made of corrugated metal sheets riveted together. Others were slats of wood, probably from left-over pallets, nailed into place. Even cardboard had its uses, a few of the lopsided huts made from layers of the thick paper, the surface of it damp and moldy.
If he weren’t actually experiencing it, he would have thought it was a movie set with a wild sense of imagination. He’d seen grunge and punk before. He was acquainted with skater types. But the people he encountered here were all that and more. Some wore headbands with furry ears that peeped through their hair. Others had skin tattooed with scales and wore contact lenses that made their eyes appear yellow and slitted. One guy even had his tongue surgically narrowed and split. It almost made Theodore shudder as he went past.
He would never understand why some people chose to change their bodies into something that wasn’t human. But he wasn’t here to judge or even care how they chose to look. The case he’d been assigned had just exploded. He’d wager not one inhabitant of this underground city paid taxes. He’d just made the discovery of the year, maybe even the decade.
Their arrival engendered some curious looks, mostly aimed at him. He was a tad overdressed, and yet he refused to arrive dressed as someone else. He would never blend in. He could never pull off the tight pants and badass look Melly so casually adopted.
It suited her current expression of angry scowl. She glared left and right, and people avoided her gaze. Almost as if they feared her.
Ridiculous. She was sweet and kind—until they got naked and had sex. Then she was aggressive and demanding. Actually, now that he thought of it, she was bossy when dressed, too.
Their escort led them to an area in the center of the makeshift town. The clearing held nothing but a throne. Of sorts. It towered several feet off the ground, an impressive monument made of junk. Yet despite the use of obvious castoffs, it was nonetheless a work of art. The recycled parts blended to create an impressive seat. They stopped at its base, and he eyed the person perched on top.
They wore a red sequined dress from which cleavage spilled, the valley deep and hairy. The waist was cinched tight via a corset, creating an extreme hourglass shape. The hairy legs peeking from the hem of the skirt ended in combat boots, and while bald, they had a full beard framing a square face. From the lush beard peeked bright red lipstick. The lashes on the mismatched eyes were thick. The gaze assessing. The voice rising and falling when they spoke. “Well, well, what did my bitch drag in?”
Melly tucked her thumbs in the loops of her pants and rocked on her heels. “Hello, Marney.”
“If it isn’t little Goldie’s cub.”
“I have a name. Which you know.”
Marney smiled. A single silver tooth gleamed amidst sharp-tipped white ones. “Names are for friends. Friends don’t bring the government into secret places.”
“They do when the IRS is breathing hard down their neck.”
“And why is it that you drew their attention? Hmmm?” Marney tapped the arm of the throne. “Rumor has it someone created a paper trail of our transactions.”
“Only because I was getting audited,” Melly grumbled.
Theodore cast her a startled glance. “You faked them?”
“Yes and no. The purchases were real, and once I knew you were coming, I just put them on paper.”
“Exposing me!” Marney declared.
“I did not!” Melly hotly retorted. “I made sure your name and address weren’t on the receipt.”
“And yet here you are. With the IRS.”
“If you haven’t been filing your taxes but want to come clean, we might be able to make a deal,” Theo offered.
“And what makes you think that I haven’t been paying?” Marney teased. “Did you just take one look at me and make assumptions? Isn’t that just like one of your kind.” The insult was a low growl.
“Actually, I made the assumption before even meeting you based on the fact you’re selling illegal weapons.”
“Says who?” Marney flicked their gaze to Melly. “Ah yes, I guess we know who ratted me out.”
“You did tell me last time I was here to recommend you to my friends.”
“Aren’t you just a mouthy cunt today. Have you forgotten who you’re dealing with?”
“Hard to forget when you’re wearing my aunt’s hand-me-downs.”
Marney half rose, rage contorting their face.
Theodore stepped in before he realized he was even doing it. “I think we should calm down here.”
“You need to be quiet.” Heavily kohled eyes lasered in on him. “I’m not talking to you.”
“Actually, you are, because I’m the one you’ve got a problem with. Not Melly.”
“You are an inconvenience that I’m about to deal with.” Marney snapped fingers tipped in sharpened red nails. “Handle him.”
“No!” Melly shouted. “Leave him alone.”
“You know I can’t.”
“He knows nothing,” she said.
“He knows enough to cause trouble. You’re lucky I owe your king a favor, or you’d be sharing his fate.”
Melly’s lips compressed. “Speaking of favors—”
“Let me guess, you want to save your boy toy.” Marney eyed Theodore. “I can’t give you that, but I can arrange one last tryst on the condition you perform for an audience.” Marney’s smile proved lascivious.
&nbs
p; “I don’t think so,” Melly snapped. “What’s it going to take for me to walk out of here with him?”
“What are you willing to give up, Goldie cub?”
Theodore frowned as he said, “What are you doing?”
“Bargaining for your life, idiot. I should have never brought you here. Don’t worry. I’m going to fix this and get you out of here.”
“To go where? There’s nowhere safe for him now that he’s been marked,” Marney taunted.
“I know places,” Melly muttered.
“Look at you, rebelling not only against me but against the wishes of your king.” Marney shook their head, and the earrings swung. “I’d admire it if you’d not been so foolish. If you wanted to keep him alive, you should have never told him about me.”
“I won’t let you kill him.” Melly stood in front of him as if she could be his shield.
She truly thought she could protect him. Little did she know he hadn’t come unprepared. “No one is dying here today,” he stated with assurance. “So long as no one resists arrest.”
The words saw silence descend in a large radius around them.
Then Marney laughed. “You? Arrest us? With what army?”
His watch buzzed. The signal. He stood a little straighter. “Attention underground citizens. I am Special Agent Theodore Loomer, and I must inform you that you are officially under arrest for domestic terrorism, including, but not limited to, the selling and provisioning of illegal arms and tax evasion. On your knees, hands over your head, and cooperate if you want to bargain for leniency.”
Now, it was true Theo had not been on very many big raids. Actually, this was his first one, but he didn’t expect what followed.
Laughter.
So much laughter.
Even worse, the expected reinforcements didn’t come pouring in.
He took a chance and flipped his watch to read it. The single message: Almost there.
Bloody incompetents unable to follow a time schedule. Worse, this meant he was on his own, surrounded by guns and people looking more animalistic by the second. Had Marney always had that serpentine cast to their features?
He glanced at Melly, wishing he’d left her upstairs while he handled business down here. “I’m sorry for what you’re about to see.”
“You’re sorry?” she practically choked. More than likely in fear. “You idiot, they’re going to tear you apart.”
Like many people, she thought the suit and glasses rendered him helpless. He’d show her. Show them all. Hopefully show them long enough for his backup to arrive.
“Stand behind me. I’ve got this.” He slipped off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, which only served to increase the laughter.
“I should have knocked you out again,” Melly muttered. “Marney. Let’s talk about this.”
“Is this where you grovel and apologize? Maybe shove your tongue up my ass?” Marney stood and tugged on the dress, pulling it over the knees.
“Actually,” Melly drawled, “I was going to ask if you preferred to die slowly or quickly. Personally, I like slow. It’s got more of that lasting effect, but given we’ve been business friends a while, I could be talked into quick.”
The bravado in Melly’s words impressed him. But what did she expect to do against these thugs?
“When I say go, hide behind something.” His wrist buzzed again: 30 secs.
Totally doable so long as no one started shooting at him first. He needed to stall just a little bit longer.
“I don’t think you heard me the first time. My name is Special Agent Theodore Loomer, and I am part of the Criminal Investigative Branch of the IRS working in conjunction with the ATF. Put down your weapons and prepare to be arrested.” He did things by the books.
Predictably, the criminals didn’t listen.
“Kill him!” was the reply.
“You idiot!” was what Melly exclaimed.
As weapons came to bear, his mind whirred. Help was seconds away. Given he doubted they’d shoot the boss, he did the only thing he could. He dove at the throne and grabbed Marney’s ankles. He yanked as hard as he could, the surprise of his act dragging them down and causing them both to fall to the floor.
Marney rose with a growl. The dress strained at the seams, and the corset strings snapped one by one.
Theodore punched, fist landing on Marney’s chin. Their head snapped back. Before Marney could recover, Theodore dove and wrapped his arm around their torso, taking them both back to the ground. Grappling proved difficult, as the skin he tried to grip rippled oddly. A harsh hiss emerged from Marney as they thrashed.
Rolling on the floor, slamming into legs, he heard the yelled, “I can’t shoot. He’s in the way.”
Exactly how he’d planned. There was screaming, some of it quite strident, and odd snarling, too. He could have sworn he saw Melly leap over him at one point, her hands extended as if they’d become claws, the backs of them furry—probably a trick of the light. As were the sideburns and glowing eyes.
He struggled with Marney, who was freakishly strong and ended up pinning Theodore beneath them. Theodore got worried as Marney leered over him, and then relief hit as a familiar voice shouted, “ATF! You are all under arrest. On your knees, hands on your heads, and don’t move!”
Marney’s snarl turned to confusion then annoyance, whereas Theodore grinned. “I told you not to resist arrest.”
He stood as Maverick arrived in full tactical gear and pointed to the quivering body at his feet. “Arrest this person for arms trafficking, attempted murder, and tax evasion.”
Maverick beamed. “I’ll be damned, Loomer. You actually managed to crack the illegal arms group. Good job.”
“I couldn’t have done it without my informant,” he admitted.
A woman who screamed, “Don’t you touch me, human.”
He turned and saw Melly scowling as two armed agents approached, holding out cuffs.
“Don’t arrest her,” he yelled, “She’s with me.”
“Said no woman ever,” mumbled someone at his back.
He turned a cold gaze on the agent, who at least had the decency to look sheepish. But he was right. Under normal circumstances, a woman like Melly would never go for a guy like him and not just because they were opposites.
As she stalked toward Theodore, her eyes regarded him with suspicion. Narrowed and assessing. Judging him and probably finding him wanting. “You’re not IRS.”
“I am, but of a more elevated position than I might have indicated.”
“Meaning what?”
“I am a Criminal Investigator tasked with seeking out evidence of fraud, not limited to tax evasion, although that is my specialty.”
“You’re one of the big guns in the bureau?” She gaped. “You used me!”
He had, and when she was just a name on a piece of paper, he hadn’t cared. But now he felt guilt. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t tell you what I had planned.”
“I guess not.” To his surprise she began to laugh, hard and deep. “Oh, am I ever going to hear about this from the boss. Not to mention the fact you’re still alive.” She slewed her gaze toward him then the agents rounding up those who hadn’t managed to flee when the raid occurred. “How did you lead them to Marney, anyhow? Are you bugged?”
“Yes. With a transmitter stronger than the stuff available to the public.” He held up his wrist and shook his watch.
“Damn, that’s James Bondish. And hot.” She shook her head. “Doesn’t change the fact you lied to me.”
“You did, too,” he countered.
“Yeah, but you did it so you could get close to me as a way to arrest Marney. Which means I guess we’re done.” Her lips turned down as if she felt sorrow at the thought.
He almost told her the real truth, that she and her friends were his mission, but that would involve betraying the bureau. Did it really matter given he’d already compromised his morals by sleeping with her?
His own discomfiture might explain w
hy he blurted out, “They don’t need me anymore here. What do you say we go back to my place and shower?”
Chapter Ten
Given sticking around while humans arrested shifters—something she had a hand in—didn’t appeal, Melly didn’t argue with Theo. A man who was more of a stranger than expected.
He’d managed to surprise her. She’d thought she’d had him pegged, and yet he turned out to not be who and what she thought. For one, he wasn’t a pencil-pushing nerd. He was a sooper-seekrit agent. Totally hot. Which was how she’d spin it when the biatches thought to mock her.
However, she’d need a better plan for Arik. He’d flip when he realized what had happened. She was supposed to eliminate a threat. Instead she’d inadvertently exposed them to a huge one.
What if Marney and the others talked? Or did something stupid, say like shift while in custody? What if they pointed fingers at other shifter groups in the hopes of minimizing their time in jail?
The ride was accomplished mostly in silence, probably because he didn’t know how to apologize for his lying. He could have told her he’d called in SWAT. Or at the least gotten her a cool bulletproof vest.
He knew enough to apologize as they pulled into his garage. “I am sorry I couldn’t tell you.”
“It’s okay.” Because she had her own secrets. “But it will cost you.”
“How much?” he asked.
“Your tongue is going to be so sore when you’re done apologizing.”
For a moment he looked taken aback, and then he smiled. “I shall do my best.”
The moment they entered his place, he drew her into his arms for a kiss.
A part of her knew he hoped to distract her. To make her forget what he’d done. But knowing didn’t stop her from indulging in passion. She kissed him as if she’d devour him whole. He embraced her just as hard.
There was no hesitation, no shyness. He knew what he wanted, and he took it. This time, her back was the one to hit the wall. His body leaned heavily into hers, and she enjoyed it. Loved it. Creamed herself a bit when he got impatient with her pants and yanked hard enough to pop the laces. Laces that had survived her half shift in the underground and were weak now, but still, it was hot that he was so frantic.