Only for You

by C. C. Wood

  I grinned and settled in closer. "Nice."

  He pinched my butt, which made me giggle. "Just nice?"

  "Well, I didn't hear cymbals crashing or see fireworks exploding, so you missed the magnificent mark just a bit."

  He pinched my other cheek and I squirmed, laughing.

  "Okay, so it was better than nice," I admitted, glad my face was turned away so he couldn't see it. I didn't want him to know exactly how amazing it had been.

  I shifted again, surprised that his length was still firm inside me. Not as hard as he'd been before, but not completely soft either.

  "I need to take care of the condom," he murmured.

  I lifted my head and looked down at him. "Kiss me first."

  The corner of his mouth curved just before he obliged me.

  3

  I would remember my night with J.J. for the rest of my life.

  It was everything I could have hoped for my first time.

  He ended up staying the night because it was after three when we finished for the second time and took a quick shower.

  Then, he woke me up around ten in the morning with his mouth between my legs. That was something else I would never forget.

  Before I could return the favor, he got a call on his cell phone from his office. I had no idea what they expected him to do on a Sunday, but he said he had to drive back to Dallas so he could go into the office. At first, I wondered if he was lying, but he kissed me like he didn't want to leave.

  "If we weren't in the middle of a huge crisis, I would tell them I quit." Then, he kissed me again. "Maybe I should just quit anyway."

  I nudged him away when he released my mouth. "No, you have a job to do. Go do it."

  He dressed and left, but not before he promised to call me.

  Once he was gone and the orgasm glow faded, I realized that it was probably a good thing that J.J. had to leave. Being around him clouded my mind and my judgment. This was supposed to be a one-night-stand, not the beginning of a relationship. I'd let the heady rush of physical pleasure derail me in less than twelve hours.

  I had to stay away from J.J. because he destroyed my common sense.

  It shouldn't be too difficult. He lived in Dallas, an hour and a half away. I worked two jobs, both part-time, but they definitely added up to more than forty hours a week. I wouldn't have time to make the drive to see him once a month, much less once a week.

  And his work schedule was just as crazy as mine. I knew because I'd overhead Scott mention it a few times.

  Yes, it was for the best that he'd left.

  So, when he texted and called for the next couple of weeks, I always answered, but politely brushed him off after a few moments of conversation. I appreciated that he didn't want me to feel let down after our...encounter, but I wasn't stupid.

  And not hurt in the slightest.

  What I didn't count on was Sierra and Ben getting married two weeks after Cameron and Brody. They'd had a casual backyard barbeque to celebrate it, which meant that I spent the evening dodging him.

  It seemed that he got the message after the wedding because the calls and texts stopped completely.

  I was relieved. Definitely relieved. And not disappointed at all.

  As quickly as it began, our connection ended.

  That was why it was such a shock when I saw him again just a couple of short weeks after that barbeque-slash-wedding. It was a weekday and he should have been in Dallas, not in Farley.

  I was sitting in the diner down the street from Crave when someone slid into the opposite side of the booth.

  I glanced up from my college textbook and froze when I saw J.J.'s beautiful smile aimed at me.

  "Hello, stranger," he said.

  His voice was low and intimate, the same tone he used during our night together.

  My knees pressed together hard, an instinctive reaction to the throb between my thighs, but I managed to hide it from him. I hoped.

  "Hi, Jay. What a surprise. How are you doing?"

  I managed to smile back at him, but somehow he knew that it wasn't sincere.

  "What's wrong?" he asked.

  "Nothing, I just wasn't expecting to see you any time soon."

  He cocked his head to the side and studied me. "Cam didn't tell you?"

  I wasn't going to admit it to him, but lately, I'd been catching myself tuning Cam out when she talked. Not because I didn't want to hear what she had to say, but because I just couldn't seem to focus.

  I was also tired all the time. It didn't seem to matter how much I slept, I always woke up exhausted. I'd taken to napping for a half-hour when I got home from work every night. There were even a couple of days I'd "napped" the clock around until my alarm went off the next morning.

  If I had health insurance, I definitely would have seen a doctor as soon as possible.

  Unfortunately, even with two jobs and no mortgage, I didn't have the money for insurance because I was saving every penny I could to pay for graduate school so I could complete my education debt-free.

  My parents had offered to help, but after my father's heart attack my senior year of high school, I knew he would work himself into an early grave to pay for my college if I allowed him.

  So, instead of attending The University of Texas in Austin, I'd gone to Texas A&M University in Commerce and obtained my undergraduate degree.

  The costs weren't as high and I was able to live at home the first year in order to save money for the next. With the scholarships I'd won or earned my senior year, my tuition was almost completely covered and my only expenses were books, supplies, and gas.

  I'd also managed to take dual credit courses in my junior and senior years of high school, even during the summer, which meant I entered college with enough credit hours to qualify as a sophomore.

  I graduated summa cum laude three years later with a degree in marketing but I'd decided to continue taking classes until I obtained an additional degree in business. It had taken another two years, but it was worth it. I'd been working and saving ever since in order to pay for graduate school. There weren't many businesses in Farley that would expect me to have an MBA before they hired me, but I wanted to learn everything I could about running a successful business and investing before I left higher education behind for good.

  I'd always dreamed of building a business from the ground up. My own would be nice, but I wasn't opposed to working with someone else either.

  That was why my job with Cam and Sierra was perfect. Right now, Crave was a small business, but Cameron was a smart cookie. She had plans and goals. She understood investing time and money in her business to make it more profitable.

  And she wanted to expand.

  Though it was a local ice cream shop now, in five or ten years, she might have three or four stores. In fifteen or twenty years, Crave had the potential to become a chain of shops across the nation. A big, thriving business that would provide jobs and income for decades to come.

  I knew that was her dream and the longer I worked with her, the more I could see myself as a part of it.

  But before I could help Cam achieve her dream, I had so much to learn.

  I just had to regain my focus.

  Speaking of focus, I blinked and realized that J.J. was staring at me as though he'd asked me a question and was waiting for an answer. My tired brain whirled as I backtracked through my convoluted thoughts and remembered that he'd asked me if Cam had told me something.

  "If she did, I'm afraid I was too distracted to hear it," I confessed.

  J.J.'s eyes were sharp as he looked me over, but he didn't look angry. He looked worried. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

  I waved the question away. "It's my first semester of grad school. I'm just adjusting to my new schedule."

  He nodded, but I could tell he didn't quite believe me.

  "What was Cam supposed to have told me?" I prompted.

  J.J. crossed his arms on the table and leaned forward. "That I was coming back to town
."

  Okay, now I was officially confused. "Coming back for a visit? Did she need me to take over her shift at the shop so she could spend time with you?"

  His brow puckered as he frowned at me. "I'm not here for a visit, Lee. I've moved back for good. Brody asked me to come onboard at his company as a VP and I accepted. We finalized everything the week after their wedding and I've spent the last month working out my notice and packing up to move back."

  Oh. My. God.

  "You're moving?" I asked faintly.

  He grinned. "Yeah. Believe it or not, I'm excited about it." He leaned forward on his crossed arms. "I'd definitely like to see you again."

  Oh. My. God.

  I couldn't think, just kept repeating those three words in my head, over and over. J.J. was coming back. I would have to see him around town all the time. He would probably come into the shop to say hi to Cam.

  Losing my virginity to J.J. McClane didn't seem like such a big deal when he lived in Dallas, but if he was here?

  I didn't know what I was going to do.

  I realized that he was looking at me, an expectant expression on his face. Oh, yeah, he wanted to see me again.

  As if I would have time for a date now that I was cleaning eight houses a week, working twenty hours at Crave, and going to graduate school.

  I stuck my pen inside my textbook to mark my place, closed it, and stacked the notebook I'd been writing in on top of it. Then, I put my elbows on the table and laced my fingers together. My brain raced as I tried to put together what I was going to say to him.

  When I thought I had the best wording settled, I spoke, "Look, Jay, I had fun with you last month, but I've got a lot on my plate right now and I really don't think I could give you the time and attention you would deserve."

  He smiled a little. "The time and attention I deserve?"

  I knew it sounded prissy but I didn't think it would piss him off as much as me telling him that I had so much on my plate, plus the exhaustion I was experiencing, that I would likely be snoring before we even ordered drinks at dinner, much less got to the bedroom. Or that I didn't want him coming into my life and complicating it.

  J.J. might not be as bad as my brothers in a lot of ways, but in others, he would be worse. Whether he intended to be or not, he was a major distraction and I couldn't afford to be distracted. When I'd paid my tuition for the fall semester, there had been a huge lump in my throat. I had enough saved up for the fall, spring, and summer sessions, but I was counting on making enough money this year to pay for the final two semesters I would need to finish my MBA.

  That meant taking on extra house cleaning jobs and picking up the occasional extra shift for Cam and Sierra. Which meant I was either going to be working, studying, or sleeping every spare moment for the next two years.

  "I promise I'm not very high maintenance," J.J. said.

  I laughed a little. He probably wasn't. Unlike my brothers, he seemed to have grown up and become mostly an adult. He likely wouldn't expect my undivided attention and all my free time, but that didn't mean I wouldn't want to give it to him.

  I could see the tactful way wasn't going to work, which meant I would have to be more blunt. J.J. had always taken my honest-to-a-fault words in stride when I was younger, I could only hope he was the same now.

  "Why do you want to see me again?" I asked. I had to cut my sentence off abruptly as Steph came over to refill my tea glass.

  "Hey, there, J.J. How're you doin'?" she asked him. "Can I get you something to drink?"

  "Sweet tea, please, Steph."

  "Want a menu?"

  He eyed me for a moment. "You already eat?"

  I shook my head but before I could speak, Steph answered for me. "Nope, just took her order a coupla minutes ago. If you know what you want, I can run it back right quick and Morrie will plate it up with Lee's."

  Okay, so it seemed I was going to have lunch with J.J. whether I wanted to or not.

  He grinned at me as if he knew my predicament. "Sure, Steph. I'll have the grilled chicken plate with baked potato and house salad, vinaigrette and potato fixin's on the side."

  She winked at him. "Still on that diet, huh?"

  J.J. patted his gut. "I prefer to call it a lifestyle adjustment. I'm not twenty anymore so the bacon cheeseburgers are for special occasions only."

  No, he wasn't. And I had no idea why he was patting his gut because when I'd seen his naked body just a month ago. It had looked gorgeous to me.

  Steph laughed at him, shaking her head. "Well, we'll have your favorite here when you're ready for cheat day," she said before walking away to get his drink.

  Without hesitation, J.J. turned back toward me. "I want to see you again because I like you. I always have, but you were too young for me back then." His eyes drifted over my neck and chest briefly before they came back to my face. "But you're not too young now."

  Holy hot flash.

  I took a sip of my freshly filled sweet tea in hopes that it would cool me down a little and cleared my throat before I spoke. My reaction to him made me even more plain-spoken than usual. "Look, Jay. I like you, too, and I enjoyed having sex with you, but I'm working two jobs and going to grad school. When I say I won't be able to give you the time and attention you deserve, I really mean I won't be able to give you any time or attention at all. I'm working fifty hours a week, studying every spare minute I can manage, and trying to catch a decent night's sleep every night. I don't have any energy left for you. Or for anyone."

  I stopped speaking when I saw the expression on J.J.'s face. It was tender but also amused. I didn't get a chance to say anything else because he reached across the table and took my hand, toying with my fingers.

  I didn't jerk away, but I did remove my hand from his grip. If anyone saw us sitting here all cozy and holding hands, it would be all over town by the end of the day. And since I didn't intend to date J.J., I didn't want to deal with the gossip that would follow.

  "I'm serious, Jay," I said, repeating his name for emphasis.

  He leaned back in the booth and crossed his arms over his chest. "Did you know you're the only person in my life who calls me Jay? My friends and most of my family call me J.J. or Jackson."

  I blinked at the abrupt change of subject. "Okay," I said slowly, unsure what this had to do with the conversation we had been having.

  He chuckled. "You're wondering why I brought that up, aren't you?" he asked.

  I nodded and picked up my tea for another sip.

  "I brought it up because it means I know you're full of shit, Lee."

  At his words, I nearly choked on the tea I was drinking. I swallowed hard and it hurt my throat like heck, but I managed not to start coughing.

  "Excuse me?" I asked, lifting my eyebrows.

  "You heard me," he said.

  I lifted a finger and pointed at him. "First of all, do not curse at me, Jackson James McClane. I know for a fact your mama taught you better than that and you've known me long enough to know how I feel about it."

  His eyes twinkled with mischief and humor, but his mouth said, "You're right, I'm sorry."

  I shook my finger at him, knowing he wasn't repentant in the least, and continued, "Second, I may like you. I may think you're attractive. But I have my own life, my own goals, and most importantly, my own mind. I told you why I don't want to date you, or anyone at all, right now and your only reply is to tell me I'm full of...of...poop? I don't think so. I'm allowed to tell you I'm not interested, Jay. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but it's the truth."

  I exhaled hard and lowered my hand. Thank God, I hadn't raised my voice, but I was still embarrassed by my impassioned speech.

  J.J. wasn't smiling now but neither did he look angry. He actually looked a little hurt by my words. "So, it's one and done, then?" he asked, a bit stiffly.

  I sighed, suddenly sad now. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and I hated that I had. I blinked rapidly because my eyes were suddenly damp.

  Why was I so em
otional all of a sudden?

  I wrestled my tears into submission before I spoke again, J.J. watching me closely the entire time.

  "If I weren't in school, I would definitely be interested," I admitted, my voice little more than a whisper. He leaned closer as I spoke. "But I'm not in a place where I can afford to be distracted. Literally. I've been saving since I graduated nearly three years ago, and I have just enough money for three semesters. I have to keep working fifty-hour weeks or more this year so I have enough money for the final two semesters before I'll be done."

  "You're paying for your degree yourself?" he asked, clearly surprised.

  I nodded. "I've paid for both my undergraduate degrees myself. Well, I had several scholarships for undergrad and I graduated in three years instead of four with the first, so I didn't need as much money then. But I'm paying one hundred percent of the tuition, books, and lab fees for grad school. Apparently, I work too much and make too much money to qualify for a lot of grants."

  His expression shifted and, if I wasn't mistaken, it was full of respect.

  "Damn, uh, wow, Lee. That's amazing. I had no idea. I guess I just figured your parents paid for it or you'd gotten loans."

  I shook my head. "No, I didn't want to start my life with tens of thousands of dollars in student debt. I know that's what a lot of people do and they manage it quite well, but I knew I could do it with my undergraduate degrees and I wanted to do it with my MBA, too."

  "At the risk of sounding patronizing, I think that's admirable," he said. "And I'm proud of you."

  Coming from him, it didn't sound patronizing. It sounded sincere.

  I smiled. "Thanks. I'm kinda proud of me, too."

  Steph came over to the table then, bringing a tray with his tea and our food on it.

  He opened his mouth, as if to tell her he wasn't going to be eating with me after all, but I nudged his ankle with my foot. He glanced at me and I shook my head.

  "Thanks, Steph," I said to her. "Everything looks great."

  "You're welcome, darlin'. Y'all enjoy your lunch."

  She walked away to ring up a customer waiting at the cash register and J.J. turned to me.