A Kiss For You

by Rachel Van Dyken

  I winced. It did. I’d seen her messages and how desperate she was. I’d put her in the same spot Landon had ten years ago, and I hadn’t even known it. And I’d done it for no good reason.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I know,” she whispered. “But, as you can see, history repeating itself wasn’t so good on my psyche. Landon made his choice all those years ago. I know he did what he thought was right. I just hated all of you for a long time because of him.”

  We walked on in the snow in silence for another minute. I didn’t know what to say to all of that. I hadn’t realized how hurt Landon had been. When he’d disappeared to Stanford, I’d thought he’d been fine. Boy, was I wrong.

  “So, since we’re being all open and honest now,” Emery said, glancing over at me. “Did you see Vanessa when you were in New York?”

  “I did,” I answered slowly.

  I weighed my options. How much could I tell her right now. There were still things that she didn’t know. Things that I knew I should tell her. But she looked so tense and ready to run. I worried one more thing would push her over the edge. I promised myself that I would tell her though when the time was right.

  “But I didn’t go there to see her, and absolutely nothing happened. I was there for business.”

  “Landon said it was complicated between the two of you.”

  “It is. Vanessa is complicated,” I confirmed.

  She crossed her arms over her chest, as if she were trying to keep her insides from squirming at the thought.

  “But it’s not like that,” I rushed on. “I told you once that I could never be with her after what had happened, and that hasn’t changed.”

  “Then, why did you see her?”

  “We’re divorced, but not…disentangled. It’s complicated.”

  “Disentangled?”

  God, I didn’t know how to explain this. “I’m working on the disentangling, part of the reason I went up there. Plus, I was selling off a part of Tarman. I bought the company to dismantle it,” I confessed.

  She frowned and pursed her lips. She looked like she was considering everything else I had just said and finding it unsatisfactory.

  “That’s not really an answer,” she said finally. “Why did you see her?”

  “She still lives in my apartment in New York.”

  “Why the hell would you let her live there?”

  “This is part of the disentangling,” I admitted. Soon. I would tell her soon.

  “And nothing happened?”

  “Emery, no,” I said softly.

  “I know, I know,” she said, shaking her head. “I should trust you in return. If you said it’s not like that, then it’s not like that.”

  God, I had fucked up. She was so wary now. It was so clear to me, what an idiot I’d been.

  Staring down into her beautiful face as snow slowly fell from the sky, I knew.

  I’d tried to run.

  I’d tried to hide.

  I’d tried to say fuck it all.

  But there was no turning back.

  Emery Robinson was it for me.

  And I would do anything to keep her.

  “I’m sorry,” I finally said, pulling her to a stop again. I ran my hands down her arms. “I knew, even while I was doing it, that what I was doing was wrong. I just…fuck, I was just so angry. I felt like I was going through the same shit again. But, this time, I would not just be hurting the woman I love but my brother, too.”

  “Love?” she whispered. Her mouth opened slightly in shock. “You love me?”

  “Oh, Emery,” I said, threading my fingers through her hair and pushing it behind her ear. I stepped toward her, feeling all my walls crumbling down. “Of course I love you.”

  Chapter 28

  Emery

  Having Jensen Wright love me was like walking in the sun.

  But, while I played in the sunlight, I feared the darkness.

  I wouldn’t forget the week Jensen and I’d spent apart. The shadow that he cast when the sun disappeared. I wasn’t crazy enough to believe that love would conquer everything, and I wasn’t naive enough to think that running was out of the question for him. He had proven that he would do it, and now, he had to prove to me that he wouldn’t.

  Things hadn’t been perfect since I agreed to give him a chance. I was guarding my time and my heart, wary of what was to come. I’d seen him on Christmas after his time with his family and had been mostly welcomed, Miranda aside. Landon had been uncomfortable around the two of us, but there were no more outbursts from him. It would take everyone a while to adjust. Our time post-Christmas had almost been too perfect. Maybe I was gun shy, but I worried that everything wasn’t what it seemed.

  Still I’d agreed to go with him to a New Year’s Eve party at the Overton Hotel downtown. I wanted things to be right. I wanted to bask in his love and affection. But I also didn’t want to get hurt. And my heart was warring with my head.

  “Why do you look so nervous?” Heidi asked. She was fussing with my hair, having already done my makeup for the event.

  “I’m not nervous,” I lied.

  “Yes, you are,” Julia said, leaning back against the chair.

  We had all convened at my house to get ready. Julia already looked stunning with her recently dyed burgundy hair piled on the top of her head and dressed in a rocking black dress.

  “Things are rocky, and you have turtle head now,” Heidi insisted.

  “Turtle head?” I asked with a laugh.

  “Yeah, you’re crawling back into your shell because you’re worried he’ll fuck up again,” Heidi said.

  “I’m not worried. I’m cautious.”

  Heidi nodded her head. “Yep. Turtle head.”

  “Wouldn’t you be cautious?” I demanded.

  “I don’t know,” Heidi said with a shrug.

  “He abandoned me for a week. I’m trying to take it easy.”

  “Just try to have fun, okay?” Heidi asked.

  I nodded. That was the plan. I was just going to have fun tonight. We were going to be back in a good place again. I wanted us to be back in a good place.

  “Good,” Julia said. “Now we need to find someone for me to kiss at midnight.”

  “Oh, me too!” Heidi said.

  “Landon?” I coughed under my breath.

  Heidi’s eyes were round as saucers. “What? No! He’s married!”

  “What if he wasn’t?”

  “Then he’d be your ex-boyfriend.”

  “I’m dating his brother, Heidi.”

  “Nuh-uh. No way. This is girl code we’re talking about! Sacred shit here, Em.”

  I laughed at her vehemence. I knew something was up even if she wouldn’t admit to it, but I decided to let it slide. “Well, you know I’m good for that kiss at midnight for the both you.”

  Heidi snort-laughed. “Oh my God, yes, my love. Take me away!”

  “Lesbian threesome. I’m in,” Julia said with a laugh.

  Heidi threw herself into my arms and made ridiculous kissy noises. We laughed like we were back in school together, when the world was a lot easier to deal with.

  Julia stared at us and shook her head. “You two are so hot for each other.”

  Heidi laughed again and kissed my cheek. “Always.”

  The doorbell rang, and I had déjà vu, back to the first time Jensen and I had gone on a date. I dashed downstairs with my friends following behind me. Lilyanne rushed to the door, and there was Jensen holding out flowers for her. She beamed up at him.

  “Mom! My boyfriend is here!” Lilyanne called to Kimber.

  Kimber groaned. “We are going to need to break that habit.”

  Jensen ruffled Lily’s hair. “How are you doing, munchkin?”

  “Fine. Thank you for asking,” she said politely. “We should have another ice cream date.”

  “We should,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.

  “Good. I know how to fix the flowers,” Lilyanne announced before hurry
ing off to her mom and dad.

  Jensen stood up, and I got a full view of him in a tuxedo. I heard the other girls scurry back upstairs. They would follow us to the party later.

  “Wow,” he said when his gaze found mine. “You look amazing.”

  I smiled, grabbed my jacket, and strode toward him. If I was going to give him a chance, then I needed to give him a chance. Be the confident, sexy woman he claimed to love.

  “You look pretty good yourself.”

  “That dress though.” He ran his hands down the silky material of the emerald-green dress, which matched my eyes, that I’d borrowed from Kimber’s closet.

  I blushed at the way his eyes devoured me. “Thanks.”

  He seemed to get himself together and then gestured to the door. “After you.”

  When I stepped outside, I gasped. A black stretch limo was waiting on the street.

  “What? Are we going to prom?” I joked.

  Jensen arched an eyebrow. “Didn’t you go with Landon?”

  “Oh, yeah. Twice.”

  “Then, nope. No prom for you.”

  “Fair enough.”

  Jensen opened the door to the stretch limo, and I sank into the leather seat. He followed behind me. It was jet-black and swanky on the inside. A bottle of my favorite champagne was chilling in a bucket of ice. Soft music filtered in through the speakers, and I laughed when I realized it was Mariah Carey.

  “Mariah Carey?” I asked. “You’re playing Mariah Carey?”

  “Look, I know she made a fool of herself, but she is our singer now.”

  “Oh my God, it’s ‘Always Be My Baby.’”

  “And?”

  “This is a good choice.”

  He had clearly put some thought into all of this. He was taking this whole business of making things right serious. Between the limo, champagne, and a nod to our first date…we were off to a good start.

  He reached over to pour me a glass of champagne.

  I downed it before he had finished pouring his and handed my glass back to him. “More, please.”

  He grinned, flashing me those irresistible dimples. “Don’t get face-plant-on-the-concrete drunk on me.”

  “I’m a good girl,” I crooned.

  “Don’t bet on it.”

  Jensen took a sip of his champagne and then set it down. “Now, before we get there, I do have your Christmas present.”

  “My what? But it’s New Year’s and I thought we weren’t exchanging gifts.” We had decided on Christmas Eve since our relationship had been on the rocks that we would hold off on presents.

  “Yes. Then, fine, your New Year’s present.”

  “But I don’t have anything for you.”

  Jensen leveled me with a flat look. “I absolutely do not need anything.”

  He procured a black velvet box from his jacket, and I stared at it in awe. When he tried to hand it to me, I just continued to look at it. I’d never gotten anything like this in my life, and I didn’t even know what it was. He was taking this making-up thing to a new level.

  “Go on. Open it,” he instructed.

  I gently took the box in my hand and popped the cover open. Inside was a simple chain with a round diamond encased in a halo of diamonds. It was soft, elegant, and probably cost a fortune. It looked as if it cost more than my Forester.

  “I can’t…”

  “It’s a present. You can.”

  “Wow. Okay,” I whispered. “Will you put it on me?”

  I slipped the necklace out of the box, pulled my hair up, and then let him clasp it into place. It felt like a weight sitting in the middle of my sternum, but it didn’t overpower the dress. It was as if he had known. Or the man just had amazing taste in diamonds.

  “Thank you. It’s really too much though.”

  “Emery, for you, it’s never going to be enough.”

  I leaned toward him, letting the necklace dangle between us, and then kissed him deeply. “A girl could get used to this if you’re not careful.”

  “I’m not planning on being careful. Kid gloves are off. You might have to endure fancy dinners and random presents and unplanned trips on my private jet. This is the man I am, Emery, as much as the man I am when I’m with you. I’d like to have you in both worlds.”

  I nodded, suddenly speechless. Jensen was offering me his world. I’d be a fool not to take it.

  The limo stopped in front of the Overton, and we were whisked out and down the breezy walkway inside. The room was already packed with people, but I could see that much of his family was already there. We meandered over to their table, and Jensen left me with Morgan before he went off to get us drinks. Apparently, our table had bottle service, but champagne wouldn’t be passed out to the room until right before midnight.

  “Oh!” Morgan gasped. “He gave you the necklace.”

  I reflexively touched the diamond. “Yes.”

  “It looks great on you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m so glad things are going well again. Jensen gets so cranky when he’s being a total idiot and refuses to admit it.”

  I laughed and covered my mouth.

  “I’m glad things are going well too,” I admitted with a smile.

  “Also, I’m so happy that you’re here. Seriously. The whole family is.”

  I smiled, unable to convey how much that meant to me. “I think I’m just going to slip to the restroom while Jensen waits in that outrageous line.”

  “All right,” Morgan said. “Do you want me to come with you?”

  “Nah, I’m okay. I’ll just be back in a minute.”

  Then, I disappeared into the crowd to locate the restroom in this huge ballroom. It was off some hallway, and luckily, since it was so early in the night, it wasn’t full with a line. I did my business, washed my hands, and then exited, only to almost run into someone.

  “Oh! Sorry,” I said, trying to sidestep the woman.

  “Just the person I was looking for,” she said.

  I glanced up at her and finally took her in. My stomach dropped. This could not be who I thought it was. “Have we met?”

  “We haven’t had the pleasure. I’m glad to rectify that. I’m Vanessa.”

  She stuck her hand out, but I just stared down at it in shock. When I didn’t say anything, she dropped her hand, looked down at my necklace, and then back up at me.

  “Vanessa, as in…”

  “Yes, Jensen’s Vanessa.” The way she said it was soft and seductive, as if she belonged to him and he belonged to her.

  She was stunning, like drop-dead gorgeous. Her hair was a soft blonde color, and it came down nearly to her waist in supermodel waves. She had a good four or five inches in height on me, and she was in a black dress that accentuated her rail-thin figure. But it was her face and the honey color of her eyes that had clearly gotten her modeling jobs. She was exotic but familiar, striking but down-to-earth. She confused the senses.

  And I hated her on sight.

  “What are you doing here?” I demanded.

  “Well, I came here to be with Jensen.”

  “Too bad. He’s here with me,” I said, getting territorial on instinct.

  “Ah, yes,” she said, eyeing me up and down like I was a piece of trash and she was considering how to dispose of me. “Are you the flavor of the week?”

  “Nope. I’m his girlfriend. So, you should probably just leave. I don’t want to have to deal with you when we’re having a perfectly good night together.”

  “Girlfriend,” Vanessa said, breaking into this little musical laugh.

  No one laughs like that! No one!

  I shrugged. “Believe what you want to believe. I really don’t care.”

  “But how could you be his girlfriend when he stayed with me all last week?”

  My heart stuttered. I’d known that Jensen had seen her last week, but I hadn’t known he’d stayed with her.

  “I knew he was in New York and that he saw you. I doubt he stayed with you.”<
br />
  “I saw you walk in here with him, but he never even mentioned you once,” she said, digging the knife in deeper.

  “Jensen told me he saw you and that there was nothing there. I know that you cheated on him. I know that he divorced you for it. If you came here for a catfight, consider me tapped out.”

  I turned and strutted away, back down the deserted hallway. I felt fierce. I felt like I was on fire. I was in control. I didn’t know why Vanessa was here, but I had handled her like a champ. I’d go tell Jensen, and he’d tell her to get the fuck out. The end.

  “But did he tell you about Colton?”

  My feet stalled. Who the hell is Colton? And why did he matter?

  “Of course he didn’t,” Vanessa said with a staged sigh. “Because you’re clearly just a fling.”

  I turned slowly and faced her. I wanted to ask her the question, but it was stuck on my tongue. Something was telling me that I didn’t even want to know. I didn’t want to deal with this.

  “Just face it. You could never compare to me,” Vanessa said with a sweet tilt to her head. “How could you compare to the mother of his son?”

  Chapter 29

  Jensen

  “She should be back already,” I said to Austin.

  I’d left Morgan flirting with Patrick when I found out where Emery had gone off to. But that had been a while ago. I’d had enough time to get our drinks from the crazy line and return.

  Austin shrugged. He’d been drinking nonstop, and I just wanted to slap the drink out of his hand. He had a problem. He’d brought a flask with him to church. I needed to send him to rehab or something. He needed to be sober, or he’d end up choking on his own vomit, like our father after an overdose. I didn’t want that for him. And I’d been so lost in my own mess to see it. New year and all that, and I’d get him help.

  Right after I found Emery.

  “What could be taking her this long?” I asked.

  Austin shrugged again. “Don’t know, man. There’s probably just a line. You know how the girls’ restroom is.”

  “Right, line,” I murmured but didn’t believe it.

  I didn’t know why exactly. Maybe I was paranoid. After the week we’d gone through, I’d been trying to be on my best behavior. I had a big surprise for her. I was finally going to tell her everything. It would be such a relief when it all came out.