by V. Vaughn
Sebastian's fingers graze my neck, and the cool temperature sends a tiny shiver down my spine before he asks, "Who wants to go see those penguins?"
"Sure," I say. As we walk back down the spiral ramp, I think about Lyndsey. I wonder if she believes I had something to do with whatever happened to her behind the restaurant, considering she accused me of drugging everyone the night vampires fed on them. I'm sure she had questions about what I made her drink when I saved her, and I hope Sebastian will tell me the story he gave. Although I can't imagine what he could have said that will keep Lyndsey away. Something tells me that what happened to her last night will only make her more determined to find the truth.
The glass heart is heavy on my chest, and I reach up to fondle it. I want more information too. I feel as if I'm only getting snippets of things I should know more about. I glance over at Adly and catch his eye. When he winks at me, I smile back. I'm going to work on my friendship with him, because he might be the best way to get the answers Sebastian seems intent on keeping from me.
3
Maggie
After our trip to the aquarium, Adly goes off in search of a bar to watch some sports game, and Sebastian and I return to the hotel to relax in our suite. I lean back on the couch and stretch out my legs. I glance at my red-polished toenails as I wiggle my feet. Sebastian asks, "Did you enjoy yourself with Adly?"
"I did. He's a lot of fun." I pause for a moment as I ponder the wisdom of asking Sebastian my next question. I think I'll be shot down, but I go for it anyway. I sit up and face him in the chair across from me. "He told me he became a vampire because of a motorcycle accident, and now I'm confused. I thought becoming a vampire was a conscious choice."
"It should be, but not all situations lend themselves to one having a choice."
"Will you please tell me how one becomes a vampire?"
Sebastian says, "Of course."
"Finally." My heart trips over itself with trepidation, and I wonder if Elizabeth had this conversation with Sebastian when she was alive and is trying to tell me something.
"Margaret." His tone is stern as if he's my parent.
"Don't Margaret me. You— " I stop myself before I make him angry and lose my chance at information. I take a deep breath. "Please go on."
"To become a vampire, one must die and then ingest vampire blood."
"So your blood does more than— " My jaw drops as I flash to behind the restaurant last night where I gave Lyndsey Sebastian's blood. She didn't have a pulse. I bolt up to my feet. "Oh my god, Lyndsey!"
"Yes." Sebastian's voice is stony. "You turned her into a vampire."
I walk over to the window and gaze down at the street dozens of floors below as I process the magnitude of what I did. My stomach clenches with the need to vomit. I place my hand on the glass, and the chill of it doesn't even compare to the ice I feel in my veins. "I had no idea." I swallow down the bile that has risen in my throat as I turn to Sebastian. "She must be furious with me."
"She may be now, but she's wasn't there yet when I left her."
"What does that mean?"
"Transitioning into a vampire state is not an easy process. Lyndsey is undergoing physical changes that require most of her attention."
I frown as I try to imagine what they could be. What I've done to Lyndsey. "Do these changes hurt?"
"They are painful," he says, and I grimace. "But not in the way you're likely imagining."
"Then how?"
"They are emotional pain. She's dealing with bloodlust and hypersexuality. While the bloodlust can only be tamed by feeding, her heightened sexual desire will pass once she's acclimated to her new state."
"Wait." I process his information, and I say, "I've been hounding you with questions about being a vampire for weeks now, and you always put me off. Why are you so free with the answers now?"
He smiles at me. "You're ready to hear them."
I think about how if I'd known what vampire blood could do to a dead person, Lyndsey wouldn't be in this mess. "You're a little late."
"Are you sure you wouldn't have turned her anyway?"
Would I have been able to leave Lyndsey dead? Especially when I've seen how the Hart brothers enjoy their life. "That's not fair. I didn't make an informed decision. Would you have?"
Sebastian shrugs. "Eventually, she'll be a companion for you."
I let out a huff of exasperation, and part of me thinks Sebastian might turn some girl to keep me company. I remember he said he left Lyndsey with a friend, but I doubt he meant Jenna or Becky now, and I ask, "Who's looking after her?"
"Alexander."
Alexander? I move over to the couch to drop down on it and lean my elbows on my knees as I hold my head. Lyndsey's at the Hart mansion with Alexander. And she's hypersexual. I look up to squint at Sebastian, because I know why he thought I was ready to hear about this. "Is this part of your grand plan to break Alexander and me up?"
His expression gets hard. "Alexander is with her because she needs a vampire who knows how to train her right. My obligations are with you and making sure Kitty Kane is successful. Alexander was happy to leave LA to tend to our newest vampire."
"Our vampire?" I recall the way Sebastian thinks of me as a belonging he needs to protect and that it's the reason I'm safe from being fed on by other vampires. "She belongs to you now the way I do?" I chuckle, because while I don't know Lyndsey well, I know enough to believe she's going to be pissed off when she hears about being a possession.
"Not quite. When she drank my blood, she became part of my clan."
"Clan." My heart sends out a warning emotion of fear, but I don't listen. "How many vampires are in your clan? And does this clan have a leader?"
Sebastian stares at me for a moment and then glances down at his shirt as if he's checking for a coffee stain. And it's my cue he's done talking about the current topic. He says, "Since the signing is at eight, I thought we might have dinner soon. What are you in the mood for tonight?"
I let out a noise of frustration at the way he shut me down and changed the subject. "I don't know. What are you in the mood to push around your plate?" I grab a pillow from the couch, and it thuds softly when I toss it back down. "You know what? I'm actually in the mood to eat alone." I grab my sneakers and sit down to put them on. "Now."
"Margaret..."
I glare at Sebastian. "Don't. Margaret. Me." I bend down to tie my shoe. The laces are smooth in my fingers as I think about how he refused to call me Maggie when I asked him to the first day we met. I don't think I've ever met a more infuriating person. I mumble, "I really hate that name." My heart sends a rush of love for him, but Elizabeth can't sway me.
Sebastian says, "You shouldn't go out alone."
"Fine. Follow me, but I won't be talking to you. Or sitting with you." I know I'm acting like a child, but it doesn't stop me from stomping toward the door.
As it clicks open, Sebastian calls out, "We'll be leaving for the bookstore at seven fifteen."
As I pound my way to the elevator, I think about Lyndsey and imagine she's probably more pissed off at me than I am at Sebastian. Even if she would have chosen to become a vampire, nobody has the right to make that decision for her. I wonder if she knows I didn't realize what I was doing. And then I think about the fact that a vampire is angry with me. That can't be good. Especially if Lyndsey decides to seek revenge.
The elevator door swishes open as a chill races down my spine. Would she make me a vampire too? When I get inside, I wrap my arms around myself and wonder for a second about how wise it is for me to go out alone. Then my thoughts return to Lyndsey becoming a vampire. I recall how, through most of my childhood, I thought I would die of heart disease before I became an adult. I used to wish for a miracle to happen so I could live and experience life over the course of many decades. If becoming a vampire were the only way, I would have considered it.
But would I have followed through? While Sebastian and Alexander have successful careers and what appear
to be happy existences, how long did it take for them to settle into their lives? Did either of them have children that have since grown old and died? How do you spend years staying preserved at the time of your death while humans around you age?
I suppose you have to give up the life you knew eventually. When I walk through the lobby, I notice a couple holding hands. The girl gazes up at her boyfriend and giggles. It makes me think about my love for Alexander. We have a soul-mate bond that makes me want to be with him forever, but my forever is much shorter than his. Could I change to be with him?
I don't walk far down the street before I come across an Irish pub. I feel like hiding in the dark as I process all the thoughts swirling in my head, so I go inside. I choose to sit at the bar instead of getting a table. When the bartender gives me his attention, his gaze darts down to my chest before he asks what I want. I move my arm over my breasts and hold the heart-shaped vial I'm wearing as I ask, "Are the burgers good here?"
The man is older, and when I take the time to look at him, the disrepair of his shirt makes me think he might have borrowed it from a homeless person, and I doubt his gray stubble is an intentional fashion choice. He says, "They're the most popular item."
He turns his back to me abruptly as he gets someone a beer. I glance around at the bar, and while it's not really a dive, I decide I shouldn't stay. As I'm about to get up to leave, a beer in a frosty glass thuds in front of me, and the man smiles. The presence of all his teeth reassures me enough to think I'm being judgmental. He says, "This is on the house. It's not often I get a pretty girl at my bar."
"Oh." Heat rises to my cheeks, and now I can't leave without being rude. I say, "Thank you. I'd like to try that hamburger, please. Medium."
"You got it, Miss."
I take a sip of the beer, and it's ice cold going down my throat. I place my hands around the mug to let the chill seep into my palms too, and I let out a long sigh. I'm not sure how my life got so complicated.
"That doesn't sound good."
I glance over at a man who's seated a few stools down from me. The dim lighting makes it difficult to see his face. I'm not in the mood to talk to strangers, so I nod before focusing on my beer and taking another sip. I know alcohol isn't the answer, but right now I want a slight buzz. Besides, when Sebastian smells it on me with his sensitive nose, he won't be pleased I drank before a signing. The thought makes me smile.
"That's more like it," says the man who spoke to me earlier, and he gets up to sit on the stool next to me. Ice rattles in his short glass as he sets it down. "I'm Robert."
Now I can see him clearly, and my heart stops, because he has the same vibrant glow to his brown eyes that Alexander and Sebastian have, as well as their chiseled features. This man is a vampire.
4
Lyndsey
"Good morning," says Alexander, and for a moment, I wonder why the sexy man I dreamt about is in my bedroom, but as soon as I open my eyes, I remember where I am. He asks, "Hungry?"
Hollow would be a better description for what I'm feeling, and when I try to sit up, metal chains rattle. I don't have the energy to get upset that I'm restrained, and I close my eyes again in defeat. At least my need to mount the man before me for a wild ride is gone, and I'd cringe in embarrassment over my actions yesterday if I had the ability to care.
"Lyndsey?" he asks, and I let out a moan in reply. "Lyndsey!" Now I open my eyes to Alexander's concerned face, but I can't seem to speak. "Wow," he says, and he sets a coffee mug down on the table to reach into his pocket. The vampire pulls out a key, and it clatters against the handcuff on my wrist. "You're cycling through the phases faster than anyone I've ever seen."
I whisper, "Yippee."
When Alexander is done releasing my limbs, the mattress sinks beside me as he sits on the edge of the bed. "Sit up, Lyndsey. You need to eat."
My arm feels as if it's made of lead when I lift it up to cover my eyes. "I'm not hungry."
"This isn't about hunger. You need the energy."
I'm so exhausted I think I could sleep for days. "Go away," I say. Alexander's strong hands grab under my armpits to yank me up. My back thuds against the headboard, hard on my shoulder blades. I groan in response to the pain.
He lifts the mug to my mouth. "Don't make me force-feed you, because I will."
I part my lips like an obedient dog and let him pour blood on my tongue. The moment the liquid hits my taste buds, I flinch. Not because it doesn't taste good, but because I hate that it does. Unfortunately, Alexander must know I want to spit it out, and he shoves his thumb and his finger in the joints of my jaw so that I can't close my mouth. He tilts the mug further and says, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way."
I choose the easy way and gulp down the blood until it's gone. When Alexander releases my jaw, I rub at it. "You didn't have to do that."
"And let you spit blood in my face when I tried to feed you?"
I slump back against the bed because I don't have it in me to deny what he said is true. I also hate this new phase. My body aches, and I imagine my human presence is dying, because I have an overwhelming sense of loss as if someone I love is gone. "What's wrong with me?"
"You've entered the depression stage. This is when you're most vulnerable, because the next phase will hit like a ton of bricks. You're going to be obsessed with killing yourself."
"I'm already dead."
"True. I guess I should say you'll want to expire. Better?"
I think about how the cut I sustained from breaking a bathroom mirror healed right before my eyes, and I wonder how I could possibly kill myself. "I don't know how."
"Good. And you won't until I know you're safe."
I slither down lower in my bed and tug the comforter up to my chin. I want to be left alone. "Then you can leave now."
"I'm not going anywhere," says Alexander. "When the urge to expire hits you, you'll try anything to make it happen. I really hate cleaning up that kind of mess."
I whip the covers up over my head and say, "Fine. Watch me sleep." The bedroom door snicks shut before I doze off.
When I wake, I recognize the sound of a computer keyboard clicking, and I flash to a memory of hanging out with my friends, watching funny videos on my laptop. Friends I'll never get to see again because I've become a horrible creature of the night. As if a switch flipped in me, I bolt out of the bed to go to the bathroom to see it.
Alexander calls out to me, "Lyndsey?"
"I'm fine." Water rushes when I turn it on, but I don't wash my hands. I gaze in the mirror as I open my mouth. I recall the pain I felt in my gums when I wanted to feed on the people I saw on the pier with Sebastian, and I bring up the memory of their intoxicating odor. The ache returns, and I watch as vampire fangs grow. Oh my god.
I shudder at the horror of what I'm seeing. I'm a monster. I picture sucking on a person's neck, and the flavor of blood comes to mind. An involuntary moan of pleasure escapes my lips, and I slap my hand over my mouth. The hot, pulsing need for blood fills my body and blocks out everything else. I shove my way back to the bedroom.
Alexander is standing as I exit the bathroom, and I try to push past him as I head to the door, but he grabs my arm. "I can't let you leave."
I react without thought and let out a hiss as I lash out with amazing speed to hit him. But Alexander is faster than me, and in a split second, he has my arm behind my back. He whispers in my ear, "You are worth it. Everything will get better, and you're going to come to love being a vampire. I promise."
He thinks I want to die? A crazed laugh comes from me. "You fool. I don't want to die. No." My chest heaves with my intense hunger. "I want to feed!"
"What? If you think— "
I twist my head to look at him and hiss again as I bare my fangs. "I'm hun-gry."
His eyes widen in surprise. "I'll get you more blood."
That's not what I want. I need to feel the pulse of blood pumping in a human. The smooth, thin skin under my fingers as I hold a body full
of delicate bones with the knowledge I could snap its neck as if it's a matchstick. I practically growl with my desire to eat. To kill. Alexander pushes me to the bed, and pain shoots through my wrenched arm as I twist and turn, trying to get loose. His grip on my wrist is too strong for me to get away, and a handcuff cuts into my skin as he snaps it shut.
He manages to get me restrained quickly, and even though it's useless, I thrash in an attempt to get free. The bed thumps on the floor as my motions make it move. "Let me go! I need to eat!"
Alexander gazes down at me as he rakes a hand through his hair. "Hold on. I'll be right back." He disappears in a flash, and I let out an eardrum-piercing scream of frustration. He's back before I stop, and when he holds up a pitcher of blood, I throw my head back to open my jaw as wide as I can. Alexander pours it into my mouth, and I gulp frantically as if to tell him to pour faster. I'm afraid I'll never get enough, and I whimper when he slows down.
He says, "You need to let it settle, but don't worry. I'll give you as much as you need."
I lick my lips and let out a sigh. I'm still hungry, but my crazed need has subsided, and I let my eyelids fall shut for a moment in relief. "Thank you."
Alexander holds up the pitcher. "More?" I nod and open my mouth. This time, he pours more slowly. He stops before the liquid is all gone. "Better?"
I moan softly in my satiated state. "Yes. My god, that feeling is better than an orgasm, isn't it?"
Alexander chuckles. "Are you back to that phase again?"
I give him a tired grin. "Your virtue is safe with me." I remember that he's in love with Kitty, whom he calls Maggie. I make a note to ask about it later, though, because right now I want to understand why I feel okay when I thought I was supposed to want to end my existence after my depression passed. "Did I skip the desire-to-destroy-myself phase?"
"I think you might have," says Alexander as he sits next to me. His face is full of concern. "I'm not sure what to think. I've never had this happen before." He glances at my feet. "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to stay restrained a while longer to be sure."