by A. J. Downey
“Amaretto, Irish Cream, and French Vanilla – and no I’m not an alcoholic, I promise. I don’t really even drink.”
“Amaretto sounds good.”
I nodded and slipped into a seat across from him. He leaned back, somewhat twisted in his seat so he could throw an arm casually behind it as he leaned. He let his deep brown eyes sweep my face.
“So what do you like to listen to, then?” he asked.
“Okay, this is totally going to sound weird, but I like things like Florence + the Machine and Loreena McKennitt. Um, out of the two, though, I would probably only want to see Loreena live, though, because I listen to their music to hear their music, not to listen to a bunch of people scream over them, and I know that out of the two, Loreena would be the only one where people would be quiet during the songs.”
He laughed and said, “You’re very peculiar, I’ll give you that, but you also know what you like, know what you want, and I can respect that.”
I colored faintly and didn’t quite know what to say so I just kept quiet.
“Did I embarrass you? Because if I did, I apologize. Wasn’t my intent.”
I shook my head. “No, not at all, I just… I guess I don’t take compliments well.” I twitched in my seat.
“Not used to getting them?” he asked.
“No, not really,” I said, and my cheeks did flame with humiliation, then.
“That’s a shame,” he said, and the way his gaze lingered turned up the heat in my face for a very different reason. I got up abruptly to bring down two coffee cups and add creamer to the bottoms of both, just needing the busywork, unable to sit still.
“You probably think I’m some kind of pathetic,” I said, laughing nervously.
He shook his head.
“No.”
I scrubbed my face with my hands and said from behind them, “Oh, God. I’m sorry, I’m so terribly awkward.”
“I’d say, out of practice,” he said charitably.
“Never had much practice to begin with,” I said bleakly.
“I find that hard to believe.” He cocked his head and swept me with his gaze.
I asked him, “Why do you say that?”
He smiled like the cat that’d eaten the canary and murmured, “You’re a beautiful woman. I find it hard to believe you don’t have to practically beat guys off with a stick.”
I rolled my eyes at the ridiculousness of it and sighed, “I think we know what type of guys I attract.” I winced, thinking back on being trapped in that press of bodies with their groping hands.
“Shit, I was hoping not to go back to that,” he said, and sighed unhappily.
“It’s okay, I’ll be fine after a long hot shower.”
He nodded slowly, “You should go take one, get comfortable; I can pour the coffee when it’s done.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I laughed. “Seems a bit rude to shower with a new guest in the apartment.”
“Even when the guest insists?” he asked, arching a brow.
“Um, I should give you your shirt back at the very least,” I murmured.
He shook his head. “It’s yours. Use it as a nightshirt or something. No selling it now.”
“Oh, this is your band?” I asked, pulling it out from my body and staring down at the logo on the front.
“It is.”
I peered at it and tried to recollect when they’d gone on. I mean, I could picture the logo on the front of the drum set, but I couldn’t for the life of me recall seeing him on stage. I confessed as much and his lips split into a wide grin.
“It’s okay, it was a battle of the bands, and a lot were up there tonight leading up to the main act. We were the third on stage.”
“Oh, we got there late, like arrived in the middle of your set.”
“See, that explains it. Mystery solved.”
“I forgot all about the ‘battle of the bands’ lead up, you didn’t even get to stay to find out if you won?”
“Don’t worry about that,” he said. “I’m just happy to play my music and have people listen. I don’t care about bragging rights or ego rushes.”
“Yeah, but…”
“But, nothing, the guys’ll let me know.”
I fell silent, guilt nibbling at the edges of my soul, and I hated that I’d pulled him away.
“Hey.”
I chewed my bottom lip and let my eyes flick from their fixed position on my table to his dark eyes.
“I don’t go anywhere I don’t want to go and I don’t do anything I don’t want to do.”
I smiled a bit at that and asked lightly, “Like, ever?”
He shrugged his shoulders and answered, “For the most part.”
“Must be nice,” I conceded.
“Sometimes. Sometimes, like with anything else, it’s a struggle to be free and stay free.”
“I can relate to that for sure.”
The coffee maker gurgling and dribbling into its carafe filled the deep silence between us. It was dimly lit in my little apartment, the salt lamp by the bed and the single light over the sink in my kitchen casting a muted golden glow to beat back the deep night outside. The air conditioning hummed quietly, but it was still warm in here as the gulf between us slowly filled with unspoken attraction. It was palpable, like you could reach out and touch it like a living thing, just there, shimmering invisible between us.
“I really hope you’ll call me,” he said suddenly, but it didn’t break the spell.
“You have my number, you could always call me, too.”
He smiled and raised an eyebrow, and I laughed.
“I’m really bad at this flirting part and the rules of engagement are absolutely mystifying to me,” I confessed.
“Oh, yeah? How’s that?” he asked, laughing.
“Like, if I called you tomorrow it would make me look desperate, right? But if I wait until the day after tomorrow, is that enough time or do I still look overeager? Then if I wait two days, is that too long? I don’t want to give you the impression I’m not interested…”
He laughed and said, “You’re overthinking this.”
“I’m good at that. Like, really good at that. People are just so confusing!”
“Nah, people just like to make things way more complicated than they need to be,” he said and I pursed my lips and nodded slowly.
“I’m good at that, too,” I murmured.
“Nah,” he shook his head, “I don’t think so.”
“How do you know? You’ve barely met me.”
He grinned. “I have a good feeling about things.”
I turned to fix our coffees, the maker finally through, and also so he wouldn’t see me blush. I couldn’t believe this was happening! To me of all people…
I stirred the creamer up from the bottom in each black cup with their delicate red and white glazed blossoms and brought them over to the table. He took the one I offered him, and an electric thrill traveled from where his fingertips brushed mine.
“Thanks,” he murmured.
“Welcome.”
We talked a bit more. He brought up Tyler and laughed when I made a face.
“I love her to death, but it’s a good thing Linny goes through men like dirty socks. Tyler is a passing fancy, and I guarantee he’ll be gone by tomorrow.”
“Good, that’s good. Maybe it will knock some sense into him.”
“Doubtful,” I said, after swallowing a sip from my cup.
“Truth. Most guys like that never figure it the fuck out.”
“No,” I agreed. “They don’t.”
He sighed, and it was the kind of sigh that said all good things must come to an end, and it was the end of my night. I was a mix of disappointed and grateful. He roved over me with his gaze and asked softly, one more time, “You sure you’re alright?”
I nodded slowly.
“I’m sure, thanks to you.”
He nodded.
“Okay, I’ll call you sometime this week.”
I
smirked. “No pressure.”
He laughed.
“Never,” he said and I caught the double meaning behind the word and it made me relax just that much more around him.
“Thank you, Stoker… for everything.”
“You’re welcome, Serenity.”
He stood and I watched as he shrugged out of his vest, pulled on his jacket and put the vest back on over it. He fetched down his helmet from the coat rack and opened the door to the outside world.
“Goodnight,” he said and I smiled, hugging myself a little, sad to see him go.
“Goodnight.”
4
Stoker…
I wanted to call her the minute I got home but it was pretty much just before the asscrack of dawn. I knew she would likely be showered and asleep by the time I rolled in to my place, two streets off the boulevard in Ft. Royal. Still, it didn’t stop the desire.
I split the difference and shot a text to her phone saying: Made it home. Call you in the next few days. Promise.
There wasn’t a reply. I didn’t expect there to be.
I crashed and crashed hard. When I finally came to, it was pretty late in the afternoon. I checked my phone first thing to a few text alerts.
Rory: Third Place.
Captain: Hope whooped some ass, you missed out. It was beautiful.
Serenity: Thank you for letting me know. I’m sorry I was asleep but glad to know you made it. I look forward to hearing from you. I hope you got good sleep. She’d even included a smiley emoji.
I didn’t text back right away, instead answering the first two texts with a ‘that sucks’ and an ‘I bet. Just got up. Be at the house, soon.’
I dragged my ass into the shower and sighed as the hot water rushed over my skin, easing some residual soreness from my muscles and washing the road down the drain. I didn’t much feel like doing shit today except catching up on laundry and taking my ass to work the next morning.
I got my jeans on just as a heavy knock fell at my front door. I went for it and opened it up to Atlas on the other side. He held up my bass and bounced his eyebrows asking, “Hear you may have hooked yourself a hottie last night.”
I laughed and opened the door wider, taking the soft case from my crewmate and letting him into my house. It was small, a cozy place that’d belonged to my grandparents and had fallen into some disrepair. I was fixing it up, slow but sure, since they’d left it to me. That’s how I’d come to Ft. Royal in the first place. My folks, they lived in Louisiana over by Shreveport. Well, my dad did. My mom died when I was seven from breast cancer, and the grandparents who’d left me this place were her parents.
Atlas let out a gusty sigh and dropped into my recliner. I leaned my bass up against the wall and swung the door to my place shut.
“She’s different, that’s for sure,” I said.
“Aw, yeah? How’s that?”
I went over and dropped onto my couch and looked at him.
“She’s timid, dunno why. Shy, but at the same time brutally honest and unafraid to just say it.”
“Say what?” he asked, laughing.
“Whatever it is that’s on her mind.”
“You got her number?”
“Yeah.”
“You gonna call her?”
“Definitely,” I nodded.
“What else you know about her?”
“Her first name and sort of where she lives, that’s it.”
“Gonna have Radar look her up?”
“Naw, man. I don’t want any spoilers, not with her. She’s chill.”
“Good deal.” He nodded along and finally sighed and put his feet up and asked, “Got any weed?”
I huffed a laugh and said, “Yeah, hang on.”
I got my shit done, ready for the work week, hung out with a few of the guys and watched some television, and sent ‘em all packing when I needed to crash so I could get up for work the next morning.
I lay in bed that night and stared at the lit screen of my phone and smiled to myself. Serenity had been on my mind all fuckin’ day and I couldn’t wait a minute longer. I dialed her up.
“Hello?”
“So, does this make me desperate or overeager or what?” I asked and she laughed lightly on the other end of the line.
“Neither, I think… it would only be those things if I did it.”
“What kind of logic is that?” I asked, smiling like a fool.
“A crazy person’s,” she said simply. “You’ve officially been warned.”
“Good to know.”
There was a pregnant pause, heavy with promise and a little bit awkward. Finally I spared us both and broke the silence.
“I wanted to check and see how you were doing, you know, after last night.”
“I’m okay,” she replied softly. “Thanks to you.”
“How about your friend? She good?” I asked.
“Much better, she lost around a hundred and sixty-seven pounds last night and has never looked better.”
I laughed at her totally serious, totally deadpan delivery.
“I think we both had to guess that was going to happen.”
“Right?” She gave a gusty sigh as she asked, “So, what are you doing?”
“Chillin’ in bed, about to go to sleep. I gotta get up for work tomorrow morning.”
“Ah, me too… the whole work thing. What do you do?”
“Construction, actually. I frame houses and buildings, put up the skeleton, the plywood and the like.”
“Oh, that sounds… really tedious and boring.”
I laughed out loud. She was an interesting girl. Timid, yes, but also completely fuckin’ fearless. I wanted to know more, so bad.
“What about you?”
“Um, boring and tedious, thy name is retail,” she said, sucking a breath between her teeth. I laughed again and she cried, “No, seriously! Don’t judge. I graduated high school and I knew there was no way I could go to college and be able to pay my student loans on the other side, so I just have a high school diploma and it sucks, but I don’t really know what else I’m supposed to do… you know?”
“Hey, I only have a high school diploma,” I told her. “Who am I to judge?”
She made an exasperated noise and said, “Yeah, but you work in a trade, which is at least noble work. Not like me, twenty-seven bouncing from job to job with no prospects whatsoever, but unwilling to incur a massive load of debt only to still have no prospects… Ugh… I feel so trapped and it sucks, and I don’t even know why I’m telling you any of this. Oh, my god you must think I’m crazy. I am so making a terrible first impression, aren’t I?”
“No, actually, I like how frank and honest you are. It’s like what you see is what you get – no bullshit.”
She sighed and it held a tiredness, a sort of sadness which was echoed in her voice when she murmured, “Yeah, well, I feel like the world would be a much better place if people were more honest with each other.”
“No doubt,” I agreed, and got the suspicion that maybe people hadn’t always been honest with her.
There was a long silence as we each got sort of lost in our own thoughts, but it was a comfortable silence. At least, it was for me.
“Should I let you go?” she asked and I glanced at the clock on my phone.
“Shit, yeah, as much as I hate to say it – it’s getting late for me.”
“What time do you have to be up?”
I cleared my throat. “For this job? Four in the morning. Takes me that long to get where I’m going.”
“Bad commute?”
“Yeah, not much traffic at that hour but it’s a ways, that’s for sure.”
“Alright, well, be careful.”
“Call me tomorrow?”
Another long pause full of promise before she said, voice shaded with surprise, “Uh, yeah. What time is good?”
“Uh, either before two or after four-thirty,” I said.
“Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
&n
bsp; “I’m looking forward to it,” I told her honestly.
“Me too,” she murmured.
“Night, Serenity, sleep well.”
“You do the same,” she said, and I loved the sound of her voice, soft and gentle, velvet over the line. I could fall asleep just listening to her talk. It was probably one of the most soothing sounds I’d ever heard. Somebody had named this girl right, that was for sure.
I disconnected the call before I was tempted to keep it going, to keep her talking. God, it was tempting though. I felt like a goddamned teenager with a hardcore crush.
I sighed and set my phone aside on the end table and closed my eyes. I swore if I breathed deeply and slowly enough, I could just catch the faintest whiff of her delicate perfume.
5
Serenity…
“Shit.” I sighed and put my phone back in my purse. It was after two, I couldn’t try to call until after four-thirty, and as soon as my lunch was over I was working until six, so… yeah. I chewed my bottom lip as I sat in the mall’s food court and wondered how late was too late to call when he had to get up so early.
I was a world-class worrier, no doubt about it.
“Uh-oh, what’s that look for?” Linny asked, dropping into the seat across from mine with a hearty sigh.
I shook my head and said, “It’s nothing.”
“Oh, you suck at lying. Please tell me you hooked up with that hot guy from the MC.”
“No,” I said, but I couldn’t hold out. I let out an explosive breath and told her the truth. “We’ve been talking, though.”
“Oh? What’s that, now?” She perked up entirely too quick and I cringed inwardly.
“We traded numbers and we’ve chatted on the phone a few times.”
“Oh, ho, ho! See, I told you it was a great idea you came out with me on Saturday night.”
I frowned. “I was groped six ways to Sunday – almost literally might I add, at that show.”
“And you were picked up by a seriously hot member of one of those bands,” she said, sticking a bite of her salad into her mouth, staring at me with her inquisitive brown eyes, and chewing slowly, waiting for me to concede defeat on the point.
“Fine, yes… you’re right,” I said, and she smiled brightly.