The song over, the tempo changes and guests pour onto the dance floor. There’s a tap on my shoulder, and I turn to see Tim grinning at me. “May I have this dance?”
With a quick look at Jake, I reply, “How can I turn the groom down?”
“Don’t you worry about me,” Jake says with a laugh. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“Catch you later.” I keep my tone light and friendly. Jake flashes me a grin before he walks off the dance floor.
Tim offers me his hand, I step into him, and we begin to dance.
“Your wedding is perfect, Tim. You must be so happy.”
A big grin spreads across his face. “Marrying Ashley is the best decision I ever made.”
“That’s what the bride’s B.F.F. wants to hear, you know.”
“How about you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you happy?”
His question throws me. “Of course I am.”
His eyes search my face. “Are you?”
Well, this conversation has taken a turn for the weird.
“Yes,” I insist as something twists inside my belly.
“You know, if you ever need anything, you can ask me and Ash. You know that, right?”
“Sure I do.”
“Good. You mean a lot to us, and nothing can change that.” His eyes bore into me. “Nothing. Got it?”
It’s in that moment I realize he knows. He knows about me and Jake. I stop dancing and stare at him, working out how to respond. I fight the very real desire to run and instead decide to make light of the conversation. After all, it’s a much easier route than dealing with the truth. “Are you getting all sentimental on me now that you’re an old married man, Tim?” I say with a cheeky grin. “Because if you are, I’m sending you straight back to wifey over there, got it?” I nod at Ashley, who’s near us, dancing with her dad.
He looks over at his new bride and smiles, the intensity in his features evaporating. “She’s the best, isn’t she?”
“She is. Now, go find someone else to dance with.” I give him a kiss on the cheek. “These high heels are killing my feet.”
My feet are fine, but risking further comments from Tim is not high on my priority list.
I make my way off the dance floor and begin to weave through the guests toward the table.
“There you are!” Jeanette Harrison pulls me in for one of her world-famous hugs. “Let me look at you.” She holds me at arms’ length, her smiling face aglow. “So, so beautiful, Taylor.”
“Thanks, Jeanette. Your dress is gorgeous.”
“Well, you know, I only get to be mother of the bride once. With any luck.” She winks, and we both laugh.
“Maybe one day, I’ll be able to be your mother of the bride, too, just as you planned with Ashley when you were in elementary school. Remember?”
“I remember.” I smile at Jeanette. “You always said you were my second mom.”
She rubs my arm. “Oh, sweetie. Always.”
“You’re . . . you’re really important to me.” My throat tightens.
“Has the wedding got you feeling all emotional, honey? They can do that to a woman.”
I shrug. “Maybe a little?”
“I understand. But we’ve got to enjoy this wedding. With only Jake left, this is probably the only time I’m going to get dressed up this fancy.”
I try to keep my tone light, while inside that inkling of doubt I thought had been extinguished pricks up its ears. “You don’t think Jake will ever get married?”
“Oh, honey, I’ve completely given up on Jake. Of course I love him, and wouldn’t change him for the world, but his girlfriends never last more than a handful of months. His dad and I have only met one or two, and that was by accident. An eternal bachelor, that one, I think.”
This, from his own mother. I try not to let her words play on my mind. I try not to let the stab of fear in my side travel to my heart. I remind myself he was only like that because he was in love with me all that time. But there’s a part of me that’s still scared, that still can’t make that final leap into giving myself completely. And right now, that feeling of needing to run has begun to grow inside.
Ash sweeps over to us, looking radiant. “Hey, Taylor. Hello, Mother of the Bride.” She gives us both hugs.
“Honey, that was just wonderful.” Jeanette hugs her daughter. “You’re a beautiful bride, and this is your beautiful wedding.”
Ashley beams at Jeanette, and my eyes glide over to Jake. He’s talking to Big Red at the side of the dance floor. I focus on him and will myself not to let my fear get the better of me. Jeanette doesn’t know why he’s been that way. If she did, she’d understand, she’d be happy for us. Wouldn’t she?
“Oh, and the service, honey, so wonderful.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Oh, look, there’s Brenda Zachary,” Jeanette says. “I must go catch up with her. See you lovely girls soon.” With a squeeze of our hands, Jeanette disappears into the throngs of people.
I look back at Jake. He glances through the guests at me and warmth spreads through me. No, I won’t listen to my fears. I won’t let them get the better of me. I know otherwise. I just need to focus on Jake, and everything will be okay.
“You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?”
I snap my head back to Ash. How can she possibly know? I flush instantly, my heart hammering. “Sorry, what did you say?”
Ash cocks her head to the side, her eyes trained on me. “You know what I’m talking about, Taylor. Seeing you two on the dance floor before told me everything I needed to know. In Cabo, when we came to Jake’s room before lunch. That was you with him.”
I could tell her she’s crazy, that her brother and I are just friends, nothing more. I don’t. Ash and I have been best friends since elementary school. We’re like sisters. I couldn’t lie to her face. Instead, I look down at my hands and steel myself for her reaction. Looking back up, I say, “How did you know?”
Her features harden. “I didn’t, not until just now.”
“Oh.”
“Taylor, why would you not tell me?”
I rub the back of my neck, drawing my lips into a line. “I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want anyone to know. Not yet. Not until I’m ready.”
She studies my face. “Is it just sex, or something more for you?”
I bite my lip. “Something more.”
She shakes her head. “Oh, babe. I love my brother, you know I do. He’s a great guy. But when it comes to women, he’s a total player. You and I both know that. Hell, we even joke about it! He’s going to hurt you, just like Zeke Daniels did. Can’t you see that?”
My heart bangs against my ribs. Ashley is putting words to my deepest held fear. And I don’t want to hear it.
“End it now, before you get in too deep.”
My mind races. I’m already in too deep, totally and completely lost in him. “But Ash, he says this is real, that he’s changed. He says he’s given up on those other women, that he did it a long time ago.”
“Taylor, look at me.” She puts her hands on my arms, and I raise my eyes to hers. “In all the years you’ve known him, have you ever known Jake to be serious about a woman? Answer me honestly.”
I glance over at Jake. Big Red has gone, replaced by a tall, slim, blonde woman I’ve not seen before. I watch as she lifts her hand and presses it to one of his biceps as she laughs. Jake is smiling, his face lit up as he looks at her. My belly twists into a tight, uncomfortable knot. She has the kind of ethereal beauty only the very genetically lucky possess. She’s the type Jake usually goes for, the California babe, the type of woman you see in magazines and assume she’s airbrushed. But instead, here she is, in the flesh, her hand placed on Jake’s arm.
“See? Look at him. People don’t change. Jake won’t change.”
Leopards don’t change their spots. The knot tightens. I swallow.
She squeezes my arms, forcing me to look back
at her. “I’m just trying to look out for you after the whole Zeke Daniels thing. I saw what that did to you.”
I nod, press my lips together. “I know.”
“Do you?” Her eyes search my face. “You were a mess. I’m sorry, but it’s true. If Jake were different, I’d be happy for you.”
I latch onto her words. “What if he is different? What if he has changed?”
“You always said you had this little voice in the back of your head with Zeke, telling you he wasn’t the right guy for you. Look into your heart. What’s it telling you?”
“Hey,” Jake’s voice rumbles beside me, making me almost jump out of my skin.
I suck in air. I know Ash is right. No matter what Jake’s said to me, no matter how much he says he feels for me, something deep inside tells me he’ll break my heart.
CHAPTER 28
Jake
Taylor shoots me a small smile, one that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Hey,” she mutters before turning away from me.
She’s breathtaking tonight. The silky dress clings to her curves, the nape of her neck exposed, her full lips painted red, driving me insane with the need to kiss them.
God, how I want to touch her, to peel that dress off and do what we’ve been doing every night since we got back. And every morning.
I tell you, the last seven days have been the best of my life.
My eyes dart between Taylor and my sister. Neither of them look happy to see me. I narrow my gaze. “What’s up with you two?”
Ashley crosses her arms and gives me that little sister glare she’s perfected over the years. “A word?”
I glance at Taylor. Her features are veiled, she’s not giving anything away. I touch her arm. “You okay?” She nods, not looking it in the least.
“Seriously, Jake.” Ash is insistent.
“I’ll be right back,” I say to Taylor. I follow Ashley as she weaves through the guests, waiting for her to respond to people’s congratulations. Eventually, we find a quiet spot. She turns to face me, her chin high, hands on hips. She couldn’t look more like Mom when she’s pissed if she tried. “How could you? You know Taylor’s important to me. Heck, she’s family, Jake.”
“She told you?”
“She didn’t have to. It’s written all over her face. And yours. You can’t do this to her. I know what you’re like.”
Even though what I do and who I do it with is none of her business, Taylor is her best friend. I know she cares about her. “If I told you how I feel about her, would it make a difference?”
She glares at me. “No.”
I have to admire the fierce protection Ash has for Taylor. But right now, convincing my sister I’m in love with her friend isn’t taking priority for me. I want to get back to Taylor, make sure she’s okay, fix whatever it is Ashley’s done. “Look, don’t worry. We’re good. More than good.”
She harrumphs. “Good for now. What happens next week or next month when some other shiny, new girl comes along? Will you just dump Taylor on her ass like you have all the others?”
I shake my head. I’m officially over this conversation. “I’m going back to Taylor now.” I turn on my heel to leave.
Ashley gets a hold of my arm. “Jake, you’ve got to let her go. She wants to be with her great love, find ‘the one,’ not have some short-term fling.”
I clench my jaw. “That’s what you think of me?”
She shrugs. “Well, yes.”
I study her face. Of course she’s right, or rather, she was right. The old me did date a lot of women, taking whoever I could to blot Taylor from my mind. And it worked, at least at the time. But that was before, before I showed Taylor the depth of my feelings, before I opened myself up to her. I let out a puff of air. “Ash, I’m going back to Taylor now.”
Without a backward glance, I walk back to where Taylor’s still standing. She’s wrapped her arms around her body, and my heart cracks at the sight of her. “Do you want to dance?” I nod at the dance floor. I know I can make this right, she just needs to give me a chance.
She shakes her head, and I get it. Why would she want to touch me when my sister has just reminded her what a down and dirty player I am?
“Please? I won’t bite.”
She cracks a smile. It’s small, barely perceptible really, but it’s a start, and I’m taking it. After a beat, she places her hand in mine, and we walk out onto the dance floor. I pull her into me, pressing my hand into the small of her back until our bodies are close, but not quite touching.
She tenses right up. She’s looking anywhere but into my eyes.
“Don’t listen to Ash.” When she doesn’t look at me, I say, “Taylor. You know how I feel about you. The man I used to be? He’s gone. Trust me.”
Her body remains tense in my arms. I pull her into me, not caring who sees us. I don’t give a damn. She’s mine, I love her, and I need her to know it.
CHAPTER 29
Taylor
I sway rigidly to the music, Jake’s large hand on my back. I can’t help but breathe in his unique Jake-scent, the heat from his body enveloping me.
“Taylor,” he says into my hair again, his breath warm on my neck as his low voice reverberates through my chest.
I don’t look up into his eyes. There’s too much there, too much for me to get lost in. And I can’t let that happen again. Not after what Tim and Ash and Jeanette all reminded me of. Not after the fears I’d managed to keep in check came hurtling back with fresh, upgraded force. I’ve been in some sort of dream, drawn in by Jake. But it’s a lie, all of it. He may mean everything to me, but despite what he says, I’m just another notch on his bedpost.
And now that I’ve succumbed, now that I’ve let myself love him, my whole world is about to come crashing down around my ears.
No more relaxed, easy-going Harrison family dinners. No more “you’re like my daughter” warm fuzzies from Jeanette. This thing will hang over us forever—and I’ll be the one who gets pushed out into the cold.
I pull back, tugging my hand from his. “I . . . I thought I could do this.” I say it more to myself than to him.
You’ve heard of a runaway bride, well I’m a runaway bridesmaid. Without another word, I back further away. I bump into something behind me and turn to see Lacey and Jorge, dancing together, focused on one another.
I place my hand on Lacey’s arm, mutter an apology, and turn to leave. I no longer care who sees me, who guesses what’s been going on. I just need to get out of here. I need to be able to think, to be able to breathe.
I bumble past the bride and groom and weave my way through the guests, apologizing as I go. I make my way past the trees with the hanging lights, aiming for the large house where the wedding party is staying for the night. Lucky for me, the place is plenty big enough to hide away and not be found.
With my heart hammering so hard it could burst out my chest, Alien-style, I hitch my skirt so I can scamper up the steps and through the entranceway. The heavy wooden door slips closed behind me, and I find myself in a wood-paneled hallway. It’s quiet and only dimly lit, no sign of any guests or staff.
I dash into one of the darkened rooms and lean up against the wall to catch my breath. I press my palms against the cool wooden panels behind me. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing my heart rate to return to normal. I hear the swoosh of the heavy door, and my eyes pop open. Part of me hopes it’s Jake here to make me his.
But that’s the last thing I can allow.
CHAPTER 30
Jake
It’s early morning when I wake up, alone. My mind instantly darts to Taylor. After she left me on the dance floor last night, I tried to find her. I was certain she’d fled to the main building, but there was no sign. Either she wasn’t there or I’ll never make it at spy school.
In the end, I gave up. If she needed to be alone, then I had to let her do just that, even though all I wanted was to be with her and make this right.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed and s
it up, feeling the cold hardwood floors with my bare feet. Freaking Ash and her meddling. I need to find Taylor, I need to convince her once and for all that I love her and that I’d never do anything to hurt her.
That I’m hers, always and forever.
She’s been my yardstick for so long. To have had a small glimpse of how we could be together has been nothing short of incredible. She’s been more than I could have hoped for, worth every day of my long, torturous wait. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let her go without a fight.
I collect up my things and stash them in my suitcase. I splash some water on my face and peer in the mirror. There’s more stubble than last night, but I look presentable enough. I throw on a fresh pair of boxers and jeans, pull a plain white T over my head, and grab a jacket to keep out the morning cold. I dash down the stairs of the historic stately home, check out faster than you can say “I’m gonna fight for my woman,” and start up my car.
If I know Taylor—and I’m pretty sure I do—I know exactly where to find her.
I take the trek toward the Golden Gate Bridge, past a small group of early morning tourists at the viewing point, then over the bridge toward the city on the other side. After weaving through the streets, I find a carpark a couple of blocks back from the pier. I park and jump out of my car. There are already tourists milling around, probably out for breakfast or trying to beat the crowds at one of the tourist highlights.
A bunch of people scoot past me on Segways, nearly bowling me over. I don’t let them distract me from my mission.
After jogging along the waterfront, I arrive at Joe’s Burger Joint. The restaurant is closed, not due to open until later in the morning. There’s no sign of her. Undeterred, I walk around Fisherman’s Wharf, still searching.
The Right Guy Page 16