Claire chuckled. “And, why is that?”
“Well, you see how my brother is scowling like he lost his favourite toy car?” Claire nodded. “Well, I shall tell you something, Missus Brewer,” he said conspiratorially, “my face usually looks more like that, and he’s the grinner.”
“I see,” Claire replied, sounding like she had no clue whatsoever. I couldn’t say I wasn’t rethinking which twin was which. “Lily told me you were the one wearing leather, though she seemed dismayed by your fashion choice.”
Austin flashed me wicked grin and I breathed deeply to try to get my heartbeat under control. He clutched his chest and stumbled back a little as though I’d personally wounded him.
“You don’t like me in leather?” he cried, but the hint of a smile told me he was playing.
The line ahead of us started moving. I waved him and his dramatics away.
“Bugger off and get ready to go,” I said, trying to hide my smile.
“You wound me, fair Lily!” he called, laughing, as we drove away.
“What the hell was that?” Kate asked, sitting forward in her seat. “I’ll tell you what it wasn’t. It wasn’t as good as me going to Melbourne with Penny Foster after Christmas!”
“Ugh, you are such a toe-rag!” Gemma squealed and they set to arguing again.
I sighed and felt Claire’s eye on me as we drove.
“What?”
Claire laughed. “Nothing. I just... Well, that was not the Austin Cooper I was expecting based on what you’d told me previously.”
I tried very hard to keep hiding smiles, especially as my phone went off and it was Austin.
Austin: I had actually meant to ask you what you were up to for the holidays, but it seems I got a little theatrical... Hope they’re good, whatever you’re up to and I’ll see you in the new year. -A
“Ah, no... No, that was...slightly out of character for him,” I said as I replied.
Me: Just Christmas with the family. You have a great break too. xoxo
Claire chuckled again.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing, Lil. Nothing at all.”
****
For someone who didn’t work – but had a secretary, yes – you’d think Dad would have bothered to be home when we got there. But, no, instead, he was at a very important golf game.
“Lily!” Claire called after me as I stomped to my room and slammed the door shut.
But, Claire, damn her, knew me well enough to leave me be for now. If I’d been Kate or Gemma, she would have been up the stairs in a moment, cooing over them so they got their stupid tantrum out of the way for the rest of our night. Much like she was doing with Gemma now, I suspected.
Me, though. I was actually pissed and sad, and needed some time to myself.
As great as Anne was, I felt like I hadn’t had a moment to myself since I’d landed in this damned country. No, that wasn’t fair, the country was lovely.
What wasn’t lovely was that it was my first white Christmas and Mum wasn’t here to enjoy it with me. What wasn’t lovely was that it was my first Christmas without Mum. What wasn’t lovely was that I’d fallen hard for a boy and Mum wasn’t here to giggle and dance with me. What wasn’t lovely was that I couldn’t be with that boy and Mum wasn’t here to hug me and eat ice cream with me.
What wasn’t lovely was that Mum wasn’t here and neither was Dad.
I breathed deeply, trying to control my frustrations.
I don’t know why I still got riled up about it. I mean, I was a sensible girl. I knew boys strung you along then ultimately broke your heart, whether it was romantic or paternal. I knew that they were all idiots, no matter how intelligently they presented themselves. I knew that the only people I could rely on were the women in my family – Anne included now. Well...I could depend on Claire...the jury was still out on the others.
I went to wipe my eyes and found I hadn’t actually cried.
“Great, I am so cynical now, I lack the ability to cry,” I muttered and looked around my room.
I’d been here once in my life and it had looked nothing like this then.
The last time I’d been here, the room was full of puffy pink material and unicorns. Don’t get me wrong, unicorns are great, but when it looked like the unicorns violently vomited pink fairy floss all through your room...it’s less great.
Now, though, I could see that Claire hadn’t gone by Dad’s random advice when she redecorated. I saw things from home among the new; my old bedspread, my pictures, the books that hadn’t fit in my suitcases for Netherfield.
It was like she’d packed up every piece of my life I’d left behind and set them up in here. In my foul mood, a part of me wanted to be annoyed. But, another part of me could only love the only mother I had left and thank the powers that be that she actually knew me for who I was, not who Dad wanted me to be.
I mooched around my things for a while longer until there was a tentative knock on the door and Claire popped her head in.
“Don’t want to intrude, sweets, but just wanted to see if you wanted a chat or a hug, or anything? I can go away if you want?”
I laughed shakily. “No, come in. A hug would be great.”
“Oh, sweet girl, come here.”
She drew me to sit on the bed and wrapped her arms around me, making comforting noises and kissing my hair.
“I know this time of year will be difficult for you, Lil. And, I’m so sorry there’s nothing more I can do for you.”
“I know, Mum. Thanks.”
“It’ll just be you, me and Gemma soon. Your father’s always busy this time of year with his parties and such. And, Kate going away on the twenty-sixth.”
“Are you sure you won’t reconsider her going, Mum? Honestly, you have no idea what she’s already cost…people, and I can’t imagine what horrific stories Penny Foster’s going to come home with.”
“Already cost? Has she chased away a potential beau, sweets?” Claire chuckled.
I sighed, knowing I couldn’t really tell her everything. “Just tell her she can’t go.”
“We’d never hear the end of it. You know your sister; she will want to be exposed in every part of the world, be seen, look absolutely ridiculous-”
“Yes, and when that ridiculousness comes back on us?”
“Lily, you could never be seen as ridiculous and no one will blame you for having two idiot sisters.”
I scoffed, but said nothing to contradict her. “So, you won’t make her stay?”
“I won’t make any of you stay. Which is one reason I came in.”
“Oh, yeah?” I asked, pulling away to look at her.
“Yeah.” She smiled. “Nadine wondered if you’d like to go away with her for a bit. She’s going on a bit of a tour of the Lakes and we thought you could do with the getaway.”
“And leave you here with Dad and Gemma?”
She laughed. “I don’t mind about that.”
“When’s she going?”
“Twenty-sixth and you’ll be back by school starting.”
“And, she doesn’t mind me going?”
“Of course not.”
“And, you don’t mind me going?”
“No.” She smiled. “Shall I take that as a yes?”
“God, yes please. I’d love to. But, you and I have to spend a good deal of time together before then!”
“Deal. Seb said he had things under control until New Year’s.”
“Your face tells me you’re a little worried by that.”
“You could say that.”
We shared a laugh.
“Come on, the freezer should be stocked, want some ice cream?”
I smiled at her and nodded. She took my hand, we fetched Gemma, and actually passed quite a nice afternoon until my Dad got home.
Chapter Forty-Two: Austin
“Happy birthday, brother!” Jax yelled, barrelling into my room.
> To his surprise, I wasn’t still asleep. In fact, I was still smiling at the message on my phone. Jax’s face of triumph dropped as he saw me.
Still in his pyjamas, Jax belly-flopped onto my bed.
“I thought we grew out of this when we were twelve,” I said as the wind was knocked out of me. “Hey!” I yelled as he grabbed my phone.
“‘Happy eighteenth birthday to the most wonderful man in the whole wide world. Can’t wait to celebrate with you properly at New Years, all my love, always, Fleur’. That’s what’s put that ridiculous smile on your face?” I could tell by his face what he thought of that idea.
I laughed. “The one I got before that, you idiot.”
“Right. ‘Hi, Oz! Sorry this is so early, I just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday! And let you know I’m thinking of you. You can buy the booze now,’ winky face, ‘love from Lily xoxo’. Now, that makes more sense. Wait on...where’s my message?” Jax looked at me like I’d eaten the last cookie from the jar. Which I had been known to do during our lives, on many occasions.
“Have you looked at your phone today?”
He jumped up and ran out. I heard a triumphant crow from his room and he was reading the message as he ran back in.
“‘Wishing a super happy birthday to my main man – get it cos you’re an adult now’ sticky-outy-tongue face ‘hope you have a great day, lots of love, Lil xoxo’. Oh, snap! Look, now I’m her main man.”
“Gloat all you like brother.”
“I will! She sent mine a full five minutes before she sent yours. Ha!”
I laughed at him. “And a happy birthday to you, too.”
He stuck his tongue out at me. “Come on, come on, get up!”
I sighed; Jax on our birthday was the epitome of the child on Christmas morning. Since our birthday was only two days after Christmas, our parents had always made sure the two days were separate and just as special as the other. Jax had always preferred our birthday because, in the words of five-year-old Jax, ‘that was just our day, when everyone gets Christmas’.
We had proudly continued on the tradition of making our birthday separate and special, and I felt this year would not be any different. It was bloody good I’d sorted his present the week before; I wouldn’t have had time now!
“Oz!”
“All right, all right. I’ll meet you downstairs in no more than ten minutes,” I laughed.
He nodded, barely containing his excitement, and bounded out of my room, crowing that Lily loved him best. I could only smile and shake my head as I typed a reply to Lily.
Me: I couldn’t ask for a better way to wake up on my birthday, thank you Although, Jax is now convinced you love him better haha. Hope you had a great Christmas, see you next week
Lily, and Anne, had of course been invited to the big New Year’s/Birthday party, but it had sounded an awful lot like they weren’t coming. And, based on how she’d been acting in the last few weeks of term, I really didn’t think she would. But, then...that message...
“Ugh, girls... I’ll never understand them. May as well go back to arrogant old Oz who never cared,” I muttered as I pulled myself out of bed.
A few minutes later, I met Jax in the living room – the only room where no Christmas things were allowed – of Huntsford, as we did every year on our birthday. It was, in the beginning, a way of escaping Aunt Celia’s house in London as soon as possible. And now... Now, it was exactly the same, actually. This year, though, something was back that we’d missed the last few years.
“Happy birthday!” A clear voice sang out as I walked into the room.
I grinned and swung Amanda around in my arms.
“Lord, Oz, I’m not twelve anymore!” she laughed.
“Because, I could do that when you were twelve,” I replied sarcastically.
“No, true. You two were tiny. When did all this,” she gestured up and down, “happen?”
“When they started noticing girls, no doubt,” Huntsford’s housekeeper said jovially.
“Oh, now, Missus Jones, don’t tease them so!” Manda smiled.
“Come on! I want to give Oz his present,” Jax whined.
“Get yours more like,” Mrs Jones replied, sharing a smile with Manda.
Jax and I grinned at each other. It had been a competition for the last fifteen years as to who could get each other the better present. It was juvenile and ridiculous, but we did it and loved it all the same.
“Right, so where is it, then?” I asked.
He held out a box to me and I grinned, feeling like I’d won already. I took the box, gave it a shake and opened it. Inside, there was a key. A key I thought I recognised.
“Is this the key to that old door in the garage?” I asked.
Jax tried, and failed, to hide a smile and shrugged.
“Seriously?”
Jax shrugged again and Manda laughed. “Why don’t we go try it, Oz?”
I watched Jax with narrowed eyes as I let Manda lead me out to the garage.
The key indeed fit in the lock.
“Go on.” Manda pushed me.
“Why do I feel like you had something to do with this?”
She smiled. “I have no idea to what you might be referring.”
“Uh-huh...of course. And, Jax’s-”
“Sh! Jax, come on, you’ll want to see this too!” she called.
Jax sidled in beside me and watched as I opened the door. We walked into the garage and I blinked. Next to the gift I had painstakingly sorted out for him was what I can only assume was the gift he’d got for me, as if the giant tag with my name on it didn’t give it away.
“I so didn’t win this year,” I said, staring at the thing of beauty in front of me.
“I don’t know, man,” Jax said, sounding as stunned as me. “I think you might have.”
“No, I think you did.”
“Nah, man.”
“Draw?”
“Draw.”
Amanda and Mrs Jones were chuckling behind us, but we didn’t much care. As one, we went to take a step forward, stopped, turned to each other and hugged.
“Thanks, man.”
“No, thank you. This is great!”
“So great!”
“Aunt Celia’s going to flip!”
Jax laughed. “Part of what I was going for.”
“Thanks, dude.”
We pulled apart and stared at our presents.
“You played this a lot cooler than me,” I said.
He laughed. “Not really, just wanted you to think that box was all I got you.”
I scoffed. “Cos, I’d actually believe that!”
Jax shrugged. “Ah, you never know.”
“Keys are in it already.”
“Likewise.”
I had to stop myself from drooling as we walked towards our gifts.
I had overseen the restoration of a 1974 Leyland Mini for him. I’d like to say I did all the work myself. I tried, but mechanics, it seems, is not my forte. I had, though, helped where possible. It was midnight blue with white roof, blue and silver interior, and white mags.
Jax, on the other hand, had spared no expense in buying me what looked like a very nice motorbike. I remembered telling him ages ago that I wanted one; there was no huge interest in them other than that it would piss Aunt Celia off to no end. But, now I had one, I promised myself I’d learn more about them.
“Good thing I dared you boys to get your motorcycle licenses last year, huh?” Manda said from the doorway.
“I assume that’s your gift?”
“Hell no! Get my baby brothers bike licenses a year early? God, Oz!” She smiled. “No, for that, you’re both getting your presents at your party!”
“Manda!” we both whined.
“This is all your fault,” Jax added.
She laughed. “You would have anyway, I had them delivered there by accident.”
Jax studied her.
“All right, but I get to pick breakfast!”
“You get to do no such thing. I’m older, I get to pick breakfast!” I replied, pulling my brother into a headlock, but he had me on the floor in no time.
“Boys, how old are you?” She asked.
“Are we not men?” we both shouted and giggled as we play fought in the dirt.
“Missus Jones?”
“Yes, dear, I’m on it. But, you get them cleaned up. I’m not having those two scrappers making my kitchen dirty.”
“Yes ma’am,” Manda said, then sighed. “Guys, really?”
We paused long enough to look up at her. She had her hands on her hips and she was scowling. It was the ‘mum’ look she’d been using on us for nearly ten years.
“Boys come on. Go shower and get dressed. We can play after breakfast.”
We jumped up, saluting her and ducked out.
“I want pancakes,” I shouted back.
“Bacon and eggs!” Jax called.
“And hash browns!” we both added.
“You two will be the death of me!” we heard her yell as we ran inside laughing.
****
Ah, Pemberley, my first love, and I’d be seeing it again in a few short hours.
Well, that was probably a touch dramatic. But, to be honest, I was in a dramatic sort of mood. Riding along the road on one’s own motorbike tended to have that effect. Well, I’m guessing there, since I’d only owned it for two and a half days. The main thing that got me smiling when I rode it was the imagined look on Aunt Celia’s face if she could see me. Oh, that would keep me going long into my bachelor years while I babysat Jax’s grandkids and scowled at the staff.
I wasn’t due back at Pemberley until the next day and I was sure Mrs Reginald would have a fit. More accurately, she’d pretend to have a fit, but she’d be pleased to see me. Amanda had been well pissed I’d decided to leave early and had promptly called Mrs Reginald to keep the presents out of sight.
Honestly, sometimes I wondered if Mrs Reginald forgot who owned the place.
“Me now,” I laughed as I rode along.
As I got closer, I felt my excitement rising. There was nothing like coming home. Which was saying something for someone with a few of them. Pemberley was the place I spent the least amount of time – until now, anyway, I promised myself – but, it was the one place I didn’t worry about who I was, how the world saw me, or what was expected of me. I could just be the Austin I wanted to be.
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