by Jessica Beck
I had lost several pounds while I’d been gone, but I wasn’t sure they’d stay off once I got back to the donut shop full time. “Just having you here is all that I need.” I paused for a few moments as I stared into the fire. We were in the coldest season of our year—Christmas and New Year’s had come and gone while Jake and I had been away—but somehow it was okay. There had still been plenty to celebrate, but I hadn’t wanted to even acknowledge it while we’d been away.
“Are you okay with Jake leaving you here alone? Honestly?” she asked me.
“The truth is that I’m happy he’s got something important to do,” I said. “What do you really think?”
“Not that it’s any business of mine, but it seems to me like it is something you both need,” Momma answered.
“That’s not really an answer though, is it?” I probed a little deeper.
“Maybe not, but it’s the best one you’re going to get out of me.” Momma sipped her tea and then added, “I should have baked two pies.”
“Why, are you honestly still hungry?” I asked her, amazed that this little woman could eat more after the massive slices we’d had earlier.
“No, of course not, but what will you do if you want another slice later?”
I reached over and patted her hand. “Momma, I’ll be just f…dandy,” I said, cancelling the word fine as it started to leave my lips. “I can go to the store tomorrow and stock up on everything I need.”
She looked clearly guilty about something, and I suspected I knew what it was. Without a word, I got up and walked into the kitchen. My freezer was packed with meals that hadn’t been there before, including homemade bread.
Momma spoke from just behind me as she said, “I may have gotten a little carried away, but I didn’t want you to come back to a bare freezer.”
“I appreciate that,” I said, feeling relief that my mother could be a little overbearing at times. There were occasions, like at that particular moment, that it was exactly what I needed, though I would never have admitted it under interrogation.
“You might not want to look in the fridge,” Momma suggested as she bit her lower lip.
Of course I immediately opened the fridge’s door. It, too, was full of food, ready to pop into an oven to warm up at a moment’s notice. With Jake gone, I wouldn’t have to cook for myself for a month. I didn’t honestly mind that much, though. Momma was one of my favorite cooks in the world.
I turned and hugged her. “Thanks for looking out for me.”
“It’s what I do,” my mother said. As I held her, I realized yet again what a small woman she was in physical stature. Her personality was so large that sometimes it made it difficult to remember just how tiny she was. I had inherited none of that. I had that chunky physique that my father and his brothers had. Lucky me. “Suzanne, I wasn’t kidding before. You are absolutely wasting away. Didn’t you two eat anything while you were gone?”
I had to laugh. “We ate plenty, but Jake’s idea of mending my body and soul was to take long hikes in the woods every single day, whether it was sunny or raining, cloudy or clear. He even dragged me out a few times in the snow.”
“You love snow,” Momma said with a smile.
“True, but I enjoy it more when I’m inside by a fire looking out a window than traipsing across the countryside in it.”
“Well, you’re home now,” Momma said. “That’s what counts.”
“In more ways than one,” I said as we walked back into the living room together. I’d loved the cabin where we’d stayed, on Momma’s dime no less, but there was no place like home. “By the way, thanks again for financing our trip.”
“Suzanne, you’re most welcome, but you need to stop thanking me. It was the least I could do.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said. “We never could have afforded it on our own.” Momma looked as though she was suddenly uncomfortable by the turn our conversation had taken. “What is it?”
“How are you set, financially? You know, I’d be more than happy to help out, just until you get back on your feet again.” Before I could protest, she added, “I know how you feel about accepting gifts, so we could call it a loan if you’d like. You might as well get a little of your inheritance early, as far as I’m concerned,” she added softly.
“Thanks, but that’s a hard no.” I hated when my mother acknowledged her own mortality. I refused to believe there would ever be a time in my life when she wasn’t around, no matter how foolish that basic premise might have been.
There was still a little a bit of tension between us when I heard someone knocking on the front door. I couldn’t face anyone at the moment, and I had hoped my well-meaning friends understood that. “Momma, would you get that? I can’t deal with anyone right now.”
“Certainly,” Momma said, putting on her fiercest expression as she walked to the front door. Despite her petite size, no one ever mistook my mother for a pushover, and from the look of determination on her face, I could see that wasn’t about to change now.
To my surprise, Momma didn’t immediately rebuff whoever was standing outside. “Suzanne, are you sure you don’t want to see anybody?”
I thought about it, and then I realized that there was one other person I could be myself with, warts and all. “Unless it’s Grace, send them away please.”
She must have heard her name from the porch. “You’re in luck then, aren’t you?” Grace came in, grinned at me, and then hugged me harder than she ever had in her life. She was clearly not worried about hurting me, though I wondered how my ribs would stand up under the onslaught. “I missed you,” she said fiercely. “Don’t ever do that again.”
“I’ll try not to,” I said. “Would you mind easing up a bit?”
“Did I hurt your arm?” she asked as she pulled back suddenly.
“No, but I might have a few cracked ribs after that bear hug of yours.”
Grace laughed, and I realized how much I’d missed my best friend while I’d been away. She was more than a sister could have been to me; we were close by choice, not some freak genetic lottery, and I loved her all the more for it. She suddenly got serious. “You heard about Annabeth, didn’t you?”
“I told her myself,” Momma said.
“We wanted to call you, but Alyssa was pretty insistent about it. I didn’t get it. You and Annabeth were close. Sure, we were friends, but you two bonded over your art from way back. I felt so guilty when I heard that she had died.”
“Why is that?” I asked, clearly confused by Grace’s statement.
“I always resented her a little for the time she took you away from me,” my best friend admitted. “It’s pretty shallow and petty of me now, but I couldn’t help myself back then. I just wish I’d apologized to her when I’d had the chance. Now I can never make amends.”
“Grace, she didn’t hold anything against you. We talked about you six months ago, and she had nothing but respect and admiration in her voice when she spoke of you. She was so impressed with how well you’d done with your life.”
“Me? I work a job. She created art. Annabeth was the impressive one. I still can’t believe she’s gone.”
“I can’t either,” I said as I walked over and touched the plain brown-paper-wrapped painting leaning in the hallway. “She painted this for me, you know.”
“Don’t you want to open it?” Grace asked eagerly.
“Not just yet,” I said. “I’m not sure I can handle it. By the way, how did you know that we were back?”
“I saw you drive up, and I was about to crash your homecoming when I saw Jake drive back down the road in his truck not fifteen minutes later. I flagged him down, and he told me everything. That was all the motivation I needed to hightail it up here and see how you were doing for myself.” She took a few steps back and pretended to appraise me. “You could put on a few pounds,” she finally said judiciously.
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“I don’t know. I kind of like myself this size,” I said. Though most of my clothing was loose on me, this was baggy season, where no one really wore formfitting clothes, if you didn’t count the leggings that a great many women found fashionable. I for one had never been comfortable wearing them outside of the cottage, but clearly I was in the minority having that opinion.
“If you’re going to maintain this weight, we need to go clothes shopping soon,” Momma said.
“In that case, I’ll start eating immediately. I hate shopping,” I said, and it was true. I suppose there were a great many ways I was an anomaly, but that suited me just fine. I never minded being different. In fact, there were many times that I reveled in it.
“You don’t have to decide anything today,” Momma said as she glanced quickly at her watch.
“Is there somewhere you need to be?” I asked her. “It’s okay if there is. You’ve done more than enough here.”
“Suzanne, Phillip can wait for me until I’m ready to go.”
“I’ll stay, Dot,” Grace volunteered. “I took some vacation time I saved up while Suzanne was away. I can’t believe how much paid time off they give me. Sometimes it can be a real burden.”
I thought about all of the money I’d missed out running Donut Hearts while I’d been away. “Sorry, but I refuse to sympathize with you,” I said with a grin.
“It’s a worry I bear constantly,” Grace said melodramatically. “Seriously, Dot, we’ll be fine.”
“Very well.” She took my hands in hers. “Suzanne, at least come by my place this evening for a proper meal.”
“If everything you left me in the fridge and the freezer isn’t proper, I’m not sure I know what it is,” I said.
“That’s for later. I insist,” she said before turning to Grace. “You must come, too.”
“Well, if I must, I must,” Grace replied with a huge grin. “Any chance there will be dessert?”
“You can count on it,” Momma said.
It all sounded great, but then the thought of leaving the cottage was suddenly more than I could stand. “Momma, I’m not sure I can go out just yet and face the world.”
Thank goodness she didn’t make me explain. “That’s fine. I’ll bring the food to you and we can eat here. Phillip has a new project he’s working on, so I’m not even sure he will notice that I’m gone.”
“What is it, another cold case?” I asked. My stepfather, once our chief of police, had found a suitable hobby in retirement, digging into very cold cases and trying to solve them.
“We can talk about all of that later,” Momma said. “I’ll see you girls at six,” she told us, and then she was gone.
Chapter 3
“Now, tell me what you’ve been up to since I’ve been gone,” I said as Grace and I took our usual places in the living room. The fireplace was prominent, which I dearly loved. The crackling logs generated sounds, sights, and warmth, something I never grew tired of. The cabin Jake and I had shared had been lovely, even coming with a fireplace of its own, though it was gas, not wood fired. “How’s Stephen?”
Grace smiled. “I am happy to report that things have never been better,” she said, and I could tell that she clearly meant it.
“I’m so happy for you,” I said. “What happened to make him change?”
“Honestly, I think it was what happened to you. After what you went through at the donut shop, he knew that I could have been involved in that mess right beside you, and he decided that he’d better get it together or take a chance on losing me forever.”
“I’m glad I could help,” I said softly, recalling with a shudder that final confrontation with my attacker, someone I never would have suspected had it in her, and how close she’d come to ending me once and for all.
“You know what I mean. Every cloud has its silver lining and all of that. How are you sleeping these days?”
“Have you been talking to Jake behind my back?” I asked her suddenly.
Grace looked surprised by my reaction. “I swear, the first time I spoke with him since you left was less than an hour ago.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, reaching out my hand and squeezing hers lightly. “At first I barely slept, but lately I haven’t had any flashbacks at all.”
“That’s good news,” she said. “Are you really going back to the donut shop in the morning? Isn’t it a little soon?”
“Grace, I’ve been away for two months. It’s time. If I’m ever going to do it, it has to be now.”
“I get that,” she said. After a few moments of silence, she offered, “Would you like me to get up early and go with you?”
I knew what a sacrifice it was for her to give up so much sleep, a gesture I appreciated more than I could say. “Thanks for the offer, but I have to do this alone.”
“I understand,” she said. Did she look a little relieved as she said that? Even if it were true, I couldn’t hold it against her.
“So, we still have four hours before your mother comes over with dinner. What would you like to do? We can take a drive around town, or just hang around here. It’s your call.”
“If you don’t mind, I don’t want to leave the cottage until I have to tomorrow morning. Is that okay with you?”
“Okay? It’s perfect.” Grace reached into her oversized bag and pulled out half a dozen of our favorite old movies. “Feel like some popcorn and a flick or two?” she asked me.
“That sounds absolutely lovely,” I replied. I knew I would have to face the townsfolk of April Springs soon enough, but for now, I just wanted to hang out with my best friend and watch a favorite old movie as though nothing had happened to drive me away for so long. Leave it to Grace to come up with the perfect afternoon.
After watching two romantic comedies in a row, I found myself settling in to the point that, for just a moment, I forgot everything that had happened in the past two months. Sure, I missed my husband, and oddly enough, the intense time we’d just spent together made me miss him more, not less. It was going to take some getting used to being on my own again, but I knew I’d manage it.
“Are you ladies ready for dinner?” Momma asked with perfect timing not ten minutes after the second movie was over.
“How did you know?” I asked with a grin.
“If memory serves, you two are always ready for your next meal,” Momma replied. In a gentler voice, she said, “I hope you don’t mind, but Phillip begged me to let him come along. He said he wanted to help, but I know it was just an excuse to see you. If you don’t want him to come in, just say so and I’ll let him know.”
It touched me that my former adversary and I had grown so close. When he’d first started to pursue my mother, I was adamantly against it, but over time, I’d learned to see the man in a completely different light. Some of that, maybe not a small part, may have had something to do with the fact that my mother was crazy about him, but there was more to it than that. We’d worked on a few cases together since he’d retired, and we’d each grown to respect the other’s abilities. “Let him in. The truth is that I’d love to see him,” I said.
Momma touched my cheek lightly as she smiled. “You have a good heart, young lady.”
“Hey, the rest of me is not so bad, either,” I said jokingly, trying to defuse the serious turn the conversation had just taken.
“I brought pie,” Phillip said after Momma motioned him in. He put it down on the table before looking at me seriously for a moment. “Is it okay if I hug you?” he asked me intently.
“I’ll be offended if you don’t,” I replied, stepping into his embrace.
He pulled back after a few moments. “You’re too skinny.”
“I haven’t heard that much before in my life,” I said with a smile. “I see you’ve gotten back on the exercise-and-diet train yourself.” When he’d first decided to court my mother, Phill
ip had gone on a strict regimen of eating and exercising, but over time, he’d slackened it a bit, adding some of his previous paunch back. To my surprise, it was nearly gone again.
He patted his belly. “I decided it was time. How are you? Really?”
“I’m a-okay,” I said, promising myself that if I could help it, I’d stop using the word fine for the foreseeable future. To too many people, it seemed to offer an invitation to probe a little deeper. I knew I couldn’t keep the resolution, but at least for the moment I would try. “Are you two joining us for dinner?” I asked, surveying the massive array of food on my kitchen table. “You’re more than welcome to, since there’s clearly enough to feed a small army here.”
“Thank you, but we’ve already eaten,” Momma said. “Feel free to invite anyone you choose, though.” She studied Grace for a moment before adding, “I’m sure your young man would appreciate a home-cooked meal, not that you don’t provide him with any,” she hastily added, backpedaling swiftly.
“Nothing like this, I’m afraid,” Grace answered with a smile. “The police chief is at a law enforcement convention in Charlotte for the next four days.”
“Who’s minding the store in his absence?” Phillip asked, since he’d once held the office himself.
“Rick and Darby are taking turns,” Grace said with a smile. “I’m not sure it’s going so well. I hear they are having a bit of a power struggle at the moment.”
“Maybe I should offer my services until the chief gets back,” my stepfather said.
“Dear, we discussed this earlier.”
“I know we did,” Phillip said with a sigh. “Sometimes I just feel so useless.”
“That’s nonsense, and you know it. You’re very important to me,” Momma said.
“And as significant as that is to me, a man has to have a purpose, or what good is he?” Phillip glanced at Grace and me and suddenly realized we were intently following their conversation. “Sorry, ladies.”
“Don’t apologize,” I said. “Jake and I have had that exact same conversation. Why do you think he’s off working another freelance gig right now?”