by A. P. Eisen
“I’m happy to do what I can to help.”
The rush of Amy’s capture had settled, and now Paul felt drained. “Rob and I need to take Mr. Baxter’s statement, put the paperwork together, and close the case.”
“Good job, both of you. I know the mayor will be happy to hear it’s been solved.”
Of course he would. It was election year, prime time to tidy up those messy little details hanging around. Like an unsolved murder.
“Thanks, Lieutenant.” Paul and Rob walked abreast to their desks, accepting congratulations from their coworkers, with Cliff trailing behind them. “Here, sit.” He pulled out a chair for Cliff and took a seat of his own while Rob sat at his desk.
“You want some water, coffee?”
“No.” Their desks sat in the large, open bullpen, and to someone like Cliff, who worked in relative calm, the cacophony of loud voices, ringing phones, and printers spitting out reports must have seemed like chaos, but Paul thrived on it. “This is…interesting. I’ve never been inside a police station.”
“You get used to it. For adrenaline junkies like us, it keeps the juices flowing.”
“I guess.” He ran his fingers around his collar and winced, then looked at the faint smear of blood on his fingers. “Ouch.”
Enough was enough for Paul. “Take off your tie and unbutton your shirt. I have some ointment here you can put on your neck.”
Cliff frowned but complied. “Thanks.”
While he rummaged through his desk, Rob brought up the report on his computer. “So why don’t you tell us everything that happened?”
A bit bewildered, Cliff frowned. “But she confessed. Why do I need to go through it all again?”
Paul handed Cliff the tube of antibiotic cream. “Because we need a formally closed case file for the prosecutor. She still has to go before the judge, and even though she confessed, you never know. She could change her mind and say we coerced her. Any number of things.”
“Oh.”
“So please tell us what happened.”
As Cliff relayed the events and Rob typed up his account, Paul knew if he wanted to move forward with Cliff, it would be up to him. With the investigation closed and Amy off to jail, there’d be no need for him to see Cliff every day unless he made the effort.
“Damn, you’ve got balls,” Rob said, shaking his head. “But next time, leave the investigation to us. You got lucky we came when we did.”
“Don’t worry. I have no intention of ever getting involved with the police again. Trust me. This experience was enough.”
Was there a double meaning to his words, or was Cliff joking? He certainly seemed serious enough. They questioned Cliff for a little while longer, and Rob finally hit Save on the report.
“Well, that’s it. Looks like that’s all we’ll need from you right now. You can leave, but we’ll probably be in touch.”
“Great.”
The first smile Paul had seen in hours touched Cliff’s lips. The last person to leave the station that happy had been cleared of a murder rap.
“Um, he’s got no wheels to get back to the hotel.”
“I can take a cab.”
Paul scowled. “You can. But I’ll take one of the cars and drive you.”
“You don’t have to go through all that bother. I know you’re busy.”
“Cliff. You almost got killed today, and I feel responsible. You’re a civilian and shouldn’t have been put in the position of becoming part of the investigation. If anything had happened to you…” The thought was overwhelming.
To his surprise, Rob stepped in. “You know his nickname is Bulldog for a reason. You’re not gonna win, so you might as well take the ride.”
“Fine. I have to use the restroom first, though.”
“Straight down and on the left. The code is 3-6-4.”
Cliff walked away and Paul watched him until he disappeared from sight. He rose from his chair to grab a set of keys for one of the police cars when Rob stopped him. “Hold up a sec.”
Paul quirked a brow. “Yeah?”
“You and I have been friends for years. I know you have my back, and I hope you know I have yours. Anytime, anywhere. For anything.”
Paul’s heart slammed. “Yeah. I know. What’s going on?”
“Maybe you want to answer that question yourself.” Rob’s gaze held his. “At the hotel when you thought Cliff was hurt? You behaved like there was more than a casual friendship between you two.”
Paul had always thought when the time was right, he’d prepare a speech and do it one-on-one, but somehow here, in this crazy-ass room filled with such frenetic energy, Rob so strong by his side, he no longer needed to hide. But when he opened his mouth to speak, Rob put up a hand.
“No, really. I’m not asking for an explanation. You don’t have to answer me, because it’s not my place to make you tell me. That’s up to you. When and if. But if you do want to talk? I’m listening. I’m here for you.” He clapped Paul on the shoulder and walked away.
Cliff threaded his way past the maze of desks. “I’m ready. But you really don’t—”
“Yeah. I do. Let’s go.”
Now more than ever, he needed to talk to Cliff. He snagged the set of keys he needed, and they walked outside. The television reporter, having gotten an interview with Lieutenant Kraft, had gone.
“This way.” He pointed to the parking lot to their left and rested his hand above the small of Cliff’s back. Cliff twisted away from his touch and put enough space between them to drive a car through.
Paul deactivated the alarm on the nondescript car, and they climbed inside, but he made no move to start the engine.
Cliff buckled his seat belt. “That thing in your hand? It’s called a key. You push it—”
“Cut it out, please.”
Cliff’s mouth tightened, but he said nothing.
“Why were you so anxious to leave? And, as a matter of fact, why didn’t you want me to drive you back? I thought we could use this time to talk about everything that happened.”
Expelling a harsh breath, Cliff unclipped his seat belt, and from his anxious yet stern expression, the answer didn’t promise to be pleasant.
“I never thought when I woke up today that I’d be facing death. Last night…” Cliff dropped his gaze, and Paul wanted to grab him and kiss the pain and fear away but held still. Cliff continued. “Last night was one of the best nights of my life, and then a few hours later I had a knife held to my throat. Do you want to know what I was thinking?”
Paul nodded.
“If I died, you wouldn’t even acknowledge me, or if you would, it would be off-the-cuff as a casual friend, and I realized I don’t want that.” Finally he faced Paul, and Paul winced at Cliff’s pain-ravaged face. “I thought I’d be okay with you not being able to come out, but I can’t hide my life. So I’m sorry, but as much as I enjoy being with you, I can’t do it. I thought I could, but I can’t.” Breathing hard, he laid his head against the window.
“Is that all?” Paul asked, and watched Cliff’s eyes narrow.
“Is that all? I bared my soul to you, and you ask ‘Is that all?’ ”
“Buckle your seat belt, or I’ll give you a ticket.”
“Paul.”
“Be quiet and buckle up.”
The minute Paul heard the metallic click, he started the car and drove. When he arrived at his apartment building, he parked the car and turned off the engine. “Come upstairs with me?”
Cliff’s brow furrowed. “I don’t see the point.”
“Give me ten minutes, and if you still want, I’ll drive you back to the hotel.”
Cliff pushed his fingers through his thick hair. “Okay. Fine.”
Neither spoke until they entered Paul’s apartment. Paul tossed his keys into a bowl while Cliff stood with his hands jammed in his pockets, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Paul swung a chair out from the kitchen table and straddled it, facing Cliff.
“So. All m
y life I knew I wanted to be a cop. I didn’t need to go to college, but my old man said I might as well, so I did, but only to take as many criminal justice classes as I could. I believed then, and even more so now, that without laws, chaos takes over. Being a cop and a detective was the culmination of my dreams. It was all I ever wanted because I never thought I could have anything more. I was willing to settle for half a life if I couldn’t have a whole one.”
Cliff nodded.
Encouraged that Cliff understood where he was coming from, Paul hesitated for a moment, but decided, To hell with it.
“Then today happened. And when I saw you with a knife at your throat, not knowing if that woman was crazy enough to actually kill you? Goddamn it.” His hands tightened painfully on the back of the chair. “I didn’t want half anymore. I wanted it all. I want my whole life. I didn’t want to be scared to be who I am. I shouldn’t have to be.”
Understanding kindled in Cliff’s eyes. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“Rob saw it. He knows, even though I haven’t confirmed it. I will, though. I know I will because I want to. But I couldn’t without talking to you first. Telling you.”
Cliff sat next to him at the table. “What do you want to tell me?”
“That I’m finally ready. But even if you tell me that all this—my being a cop—is too much for you, I’m still going to be myself.”
Cliff remained silent, and Paul bowed his head. Defeat made his shoulders slump, but then Cliff touched him.
“I don’t ever want you to feel pressured. And if you need to take baby steps, I’m willing to walk next to you, in case you need help.”
“Are you saying I’m going to fall on my face?” He could laugh now and breathe more easily.
“Or flat on your ass. Either way, I’ll be there, as long as you want me.”
“Oh, I want you. That’s never going to be the problem.” His smile faded. “It won’t be easy, but I promise to try. Is that good enough?”
“Better than good.”
Cliff leaned over, and Paul kissed him then, soft, sweet kisses, which turned desperate, hungry, greedy. “Stay with me tonight?”
Cliff nodded, and Paul kissed him hard. “Hold on. I have to make a phone call.”
“Okay.”
He pulled out his phone and hit Speed Dial for Rob.
“What’s up?” Paul could hear Rob’s kids laughing in the background.
“When’s that barbecue again?”
“Next weekend. You coming?”
He smiled at Cliff. “Yeah. And I’d like to bring a date.”
Want to know what happens at that barbecue and after, when Cliff brings home a slightly tipsy Paul? Click on the link below for a FREE bonus scene!
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Dear Reader
Thank you so much for reading Couldn’t Cheat Death. I appreciate that there are only so many books and that you chose to read mine! I hope that you enjoyed reading Paul and Cliff’s story and will consider leaving a review. Every review helps an author and is so greatly appreciated.
The second Paul Monroe mystery book will be coming in the fall. Meanwhile keep an eye on my website, www.apeisen.com for free short stories to stay updated on Paul and Cliff’s whereabouts.
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Acknowledgments
Thank you to my editing team, who never cease to amaze me. You all did an amazing job with this newbie and I’m forever grateful.
To Josh Lanyon and S.c. Wynne—thank you for your talent and your books. You are my inspiration.
Thank you to the readers who took a chance and picked up this book. I’m forever grateful.
About A.P. Eisen
A.P. Eisen cut her teeth on Nancy Drew mysteries as a child and never looked back. Writing has always brought her joy and she loves creating characters who can make people laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time.
Whether they are investigating a murder, cooking a gourmet meal together, or simply living their lives, the men she writes about are smart, savvy and sexy. They may not walk the straightest path to love but they always solve their case and get their guy.
A.P. lives in the Northeast and drinks too much coffee and not enough champagne.
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