by Lauren Asher
This is how we get in trouble, Chloe. Resist the man with a damaged past and a heart to match.
Santiago catches me staring. His smile drops into something flat and empty. A sense of loss takes over me, wishing he smiled at me like before.
He pulls Marko up off the floor and leads him toward the front door. “Marko, it’s time to say bye to Chloe.” He pulls my phone out of the pocket of his sweats and shoves it in my hand. “Here you go.”
My skin warms from the contact. I’m tempted to drag his hand back to mine and test the connection, but he’s back to his unapproachable self. Whoever made breakfast and joked with everyone about us dating is long gone. It doesn’t take a genius to understand I’m the issue and the reason behind his change. Now that his family has left, the facade isn’t needed anymore.
The sense of rejection grows into something big and ugly in my chest, feeding off my insecurity of being unwanted. A ruthless demon, popping up at the worst time.
He opens the door. “Thanks for helping me.”
“So that’s it? No more need for a fake girlfriend?” I cringe at the tinge of sadness in my voice.
“Well, my sister isn’t coming back for—”
“Chloe. Please stay!” Marko clings to my legs with both his arms and legs.
“I’ve got to go home, little guy.” I pat his head.
“Will you come back tomorrow?” His lip wobbles as he stares up at me. “Tio Santi is taking me on his boat.”
This man has a boat, too? The closest thing to a boat I’ve been on is the ferry I took to visit the Statue of Liberty. To be real, I would love to go out on a boat and see Lake Como from a different view.
I crane my neck back, searching for approval. Santiago’s height makes anything eye-level challenging. My smile drops as he shakes his head, answering my question.
I don’t know why I expected more from him, but disappointment sits heavy in my chest. “I’m sorry, bud. I have a lot to do tomorrow.”
Marko detaches himself from me and lets out a puff of air. “Fork me.”
My eyes bulge. “I’m sorry?”
“Fork me. Daddy speaks it when he loses races.”
Oh. Kid talk for fuck me. Got it. Noah must take games of tag with his son seriously.
Santiago unleashes a laugh. It’s unrestrained and makes his face light up. I wish he did it more often, and I remember to save that thought for my journal later. Look at me making wishes for other people. I’d count that as my selfless act of the day.
“Will you come back?” Marko smiles again.
“Don’t worry. I believe I’ll see you soon.” I wink.
“How do you know?”
“Because I make wishes and lately, they’ve been coming true.”
“And you wish to see me again?” Marko’s eyes become as large as two quarters.
“Of course. Who else would protect me from the tickle dragon?”
Marko gives me a tight hug before running away, claiming he needs to guard the castle.
Santiago rubs the back of his neck. “So…”
“This has been the weirdest forty-eight hours of my life.” I step out onto the porch.
“I want to agree, but I’ve had weird shit happen to me.” He leans against the door jamb.
My eyes flit to his covered leg before realizing my mistake.
Santiago’s demeanor changes to something unrecognizable and borderline terrifying. His eyes darken and his jaw tightens, casting his cheekbones in a shadow. “I wasn’t referencing that, but thanks for the reminder.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like—”
“It’s fine. Everyone has the same reaction. Pity, disgust, and everything in between. You’re not some unicorn who’s immune to my disability.” He spits the last word out with such distaste, it coats the air around us.
I don’t bother allowing him to have the last word. Instead, I step toward him, closing the distance and rising onto my toes. I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and pull his face toward mine.
Our lips smash together. His body stiffens at the kiss, and his arms remain plastered to his sides. That reaction can’t do. I run my tongue across the seam of his lips to tempt him. The softness of his lips has my spine tingling. He relaxes and allows instinct to take over as he tugs me into his body. His mouth opens and his tongue lashes out against mine.
It’s messy and chaotic. Unplanned and unhinged. Something unlike anything I’ve experienced before, with my toes curling inside of my sneakers and my head growing lightheaded. One of his calloused hands holds my head in place while his other roams down my body. It’s everything I didn’t realize I was missing when I kissed boys in the past.
My body shivers from his touch, and I moan when his large palm grips one of my ass cheeks. An overwhelming sense of attraction invades my head, the chemistry building between us like electricity.
Kissing him is a different experience altogether. Santiago kisses me like a man who found an oasis in the middle of a desert. It’s nothing I expected but everything I want more of. And that thought terrifies me, especially with our situation.
I pull my mouth away with a rush despite everything inside of me wanting to continue. His arms fall by his sides, releasing me.
I swipe my swollen bottom lip with my tongue.
He looks like he wants to continue, but somehow restrains himself. Good. I don’t think my body could handle part two.
I take advantage of his silence. “Next time you think I looked at you with disgust, remember that kiss. I’m not a unicorn because I’d much rather be a dragon in the story. They’re more badass anyway.”
His jaw drops open. I don’t bother letting him answer me. Backing away, I shoot him a smile I hope expresses how that was the best kiss I’ve ever had in my life. Even if I never see Santiago again, he can remember that parting gift. “Enjoy your time with your nephew, Santiago.” I slide toward the area in the fence I snuck through before.
“You could go through the front gate like a normal person!”
“I’m anything but normal, so why bother pretending?” I yell out, ignoring the bushes scraping me.
The laugh he releases as I fade into the background sends a shiver up my spine.
I smile during my entire walk back to my hotel with his laugh replaying inside of my head.
“Where the hell have you been? It’s been forever since you called me from that sketchy Italian restaurant!” Brooke’s raised voice makes the speaker on my phone crackle.
“I’m so sorry! I was doing my best given the circumstances.” I throw myself on my bed, the springs creaking at the sudden assault.
“What happened? You left off at the part where the guy stole your phone and you planned on breaking into his house to steal it back. But I thought you got caught since you never called me last night.”
I snort. “You’re not going to believe what’s happened.”
“Oh, now this has got to be good. Don’t skimp on a single detail.”
I dive into one of the wildest stories of my life. Brooke listens, not bothering to ask much as I explain the series of events that led to this moment.
“Holy shit,” she whispers.
“I know! It was crazy.”
“And you kissed this random man after only knowing him for barely a weekend? That’s so…”
“Unlike me. I know! But he started to close himself off again, thinking I found him ugly because of his missing leg. It was written all over his face.”
“Wait! You didn’t mention anything about a missing leg. Tell me more.”
“Well, I think everything below his right knee is missing. I couldn’t see much else because his nephew was in the way.”
“He sounds hot in a damaged kind of way. I’d do him.”
I groan. “Brooke!”
“What? You think he’s sexy and you kissed him. It’s not like you’re going to marry the man. No harm, no foul.”
“Yes, foul! Big forking foul.”
&nb
sp; “Forking?”
Shit. “I couldn’t curse in front of Marko.”
“Look at you going all Disney Channel on me. Cute.”
“Anyway, your plan sucks because even if I wanted to kiss him again, I don’t even have his number or full name.”
“I’m going to light a candle for you.”
“That only works in churches.”
She scoffs. “Nonsense. The power is in the will. That and the highest quality Jesus candle a dollar can buy.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re crazy.”
“Right back at you. So in this whole story, you missed out on a big part.”
I purse my lips considering what I could’ve missed.
Brooke fills in the silence. “Have you introduced yourself to your dad yet?”
“Oh.” Yes, Chloe, the whole damn reason you came here in the first place! “I was a little preoccupied.”
“Right, too busy playing house with Santiago, whose name is unfairly sexy, thank you very much.” Her laugh cackles through the tiny speaker.
“I plan on stopping by Matteo’s house tomorrow since I know Santiago won’t be there.”
“Atta girl! Are you planning on scaling a tree again?”
“No.” I snort. “But seriously, I’m not sure what I’ll do. The idea of speaking to him face-to-face terrifies me.”
“Understandable. But I believe in you and your wishes. This was meant to be.”
The more people say it, the more I believe it. But there’s a reason people say be careful what you wish for. I just haven’t figured out why yet.
I stare at the same gate I walked up to three days ago. This time I don’t see any cars in the driveway or hear any music pounding from the backyard.
I eye the speaker box next to the entrance. No matter how much I yell at my limbs to move toward it, I stay glued in place. Questions flood my head every time I consider speaking to Matteo. How should I introduce myself? What if he says he knew about me this entire time and didn’t care about meeting me? What if he asks me how my life was up until this point, and my honesty scares him away?
My confidence drains with every new question that pops up in my head. I dial Brooke, desperate for support.
She picks up on the second ring. “What’s up, betch? I was wondering where you have been all morning.”
“It’s still nighttime there. What are you even doing awake right now?”
“Finalizing the last details for my project. What are you not doing right now since you called me for a distraction?”
“I can’t do it.”
“You can’t have sex with the hot guy who lives in the creepy castle?”
“No. I can’t find the courage to speak to Matteo. My body tenses up anytime I get the courage to visit his house.”
“Maybe you’re worried it won’t be a natural introduction.”
“I’m not sure how anything along the lines of ‘Hi, I’m the daughter you didn’t know existed’ can ever sound organic.”
“What are you thinking?”
“What do you mean?”
“Come on. I know how you are. You tend to be impulsive and I want to see how I can talk you out of whatever new plan you’ve thought up.”
“What if I applied for a job at the coffee shop he owns?”
“How do you know that he owns a coffee shop?”
“Umm… I followed him around yesterday after our phone call.”
Brooke whistles. “Damn, girl. You’re breaking all kinds of laws now. First, you were a peeping tom, then you got accused of some good, old-fashioned breaking and entering, and now you’re stalking someone? Where was this rebellious streak when we were sixteen and I begged you to sneak out to Jack Gibson’s party with me?”
“I didn’t want to get kicked out of another home.”
“Yet now you’re on a path to a more permanent house. The big house, if you get me.”
I laugh. “Well, it’s done. I’m putting my illegal past behind me. I’m not that girl anymore.”
“Wow, you have a quick turnaround time for changing yourself.”
“Brooke…”
“Okay! God, you’re really serious lately. So back to you working at the coffee shop.”
I tap my foot against the ground. “How does that plan sound?”
“Awful. You don’t like coffee.”
“Well, working at a coffee shop doesn’t require ‘liking coffee’ as a prerequisite. All I have to do is sell it.”
“And make it.”
“That’s nothing YouTube can’t fix.”
Brooke giggles. “So I gather that you plan on staying there a lot longer than the original two weeks we planned.”
I bite my lip. “Yes. I can set up an ad for someone to sublease my apartment that way we’re not struggling to pay the rent while I’m gone.”
Brooke clucks her tongue. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure I can find someone from school who needs a place to crash.”
“Thank you.”
“You can thank me by sharing all the dirty details of this adventure. I seriously can’t wait for future developments of how you try to sneak in your real identity while working for your dad.”
I sigh, pressing my head into the cool metal of the gate. I can’t remember the last time I second-guessed myself like this. And I’m not sure if I’m capable of achieving the one thing I always dreamed of.
A family to call my own.
9
Santiago
There are certain things I want to forget about my life. The first is what it felt like to walk with two normal legs. The second is the feeling of adrenaline pumping through my veins as I raced in a Prix. And the third is the way Chloe kissed me like she needed to resuscitate the damaged part of my heart I thought was long gone.
The third memory is the one that keeps troubling me no matter how busy I get taking care of Marko. It assaults me at the most inconvenient times. And it’s not like my nephew helps with my cause of trying to move past the kiss. He doesn’t stop talking about Chloe as he protects his castle, claiming he needs to wait for his princess.
It seems like she not only has my nephew enraptured but me as well. The woman is an enigma. Everything from the way lies flow past her lips about our “relationship” to how she shatters the preconceived notion I had about her finding me repulsive.
It’s not even the way she kissed me that has my brain going haywire. More like it’s everything that kiss meant to her and what she wanted to prove. Chloe challenged me and my idea of her being disgusted by me and my impairment. She took a gamble, and it worked. It worked so damn well, I respect her more because of it. In fact, I wish I could ask if she wants to repeat it under a different circumstance without my nephew nearby. But like the idiot I’ve been around Chloe, I realize I never got her number.
Instead of allowing disappointment to settle in my gut, I take the issue for what it is. A sign to not pursue her. Fate has a way of intervening in my life without my consent, and it’s about damn time I listened.
“Where’s my Monkey?” Maya calls out through the FaceTime call.
Marko giggles behind the couch.
Noah smiles into the camera. “I don’t know. I hear something that sounds like Marko, but maybe it’s someone else. Santiago, did you lose Marko?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. The tickle dragon might’ve eaten him.”
Marko’s giggles stop. He jumps up from behind the couch. “Boo!”
Maya gasps and Noah hoots for Marko like he achieved the biggest award.
“What did you do today, Monkey?” Maya asks.
Marko rambles on, explaining how we worked on a car together.
“And have you spent time with Chloe?” Maya bursts with excitement.
“No.” Marko frowns.
Little shit. I thought we were in this together.
Noah looks at me. “I thought she planned on helping you? Trouble in paradise?” Noah’s mocking voice matches his smirk.
I tak
e his smugness without complaint because he doesn’t need any more of my shit. “She has been dealing with some personal stuff.”
“Marko, go get your race car. I can’t remember if it’s red or blue, and I want to see which one I need to buy you next,” Noah orders.
“Silly, Daddy. Red like yours!”
“But I want to see it too!” Maya does a great job feeding Marko’s excitement.
He runs toward his room.
“Is she okay? It’s not that Ralph guy, is it?” Noah’s eyes darken.
I shake my head. “No. She just had something unexpected come up at work.” The lies come out easier the more I pretend Chloe is actually my girlfriend. “You know…not everyone has a job that entails traveling around the world.”
Noah takes advantage of my slip-up. “You could have one too if you reviewed the emails I sent you. You’d be able to race—”
My answer will always be the same. “No.”
“But the Formula Corp will agree to hear your case if you just try. There’s nothing stopping you anymore.” Noah’s brows pinch together.
I gesture to the biggest obstacle between me and racing again. “Really? Please explain how that’s possible because last time I checked, I didn’t grow another leg.”
Noah’s jaw ticks. “The new proposal addresses that. You’d see that if you read it.”
No one has tried and succeeded in coming back to the F1 grid with a disability. Getting burned or breaking a major bone might stop a racer for a handful of races or a whole season. But no one bothers to return after something like what happened to me. Too many obstacles. Too many adjustments. Too many people doubting my ability to achieve anything close to what I did in the past. Hence, my stance on the matter.
“You promised you’d stop trying.” I look away.
“And you promised to return back once you got a handle on your situation.”
I shouldn’t have done that. Noah mistook my hopefulness during the first few months of my recovery as everything but what it actually was: Denial.
“Yeah, well, I lied.”
“Then, so did I. I’m not going to stop trying.” Noah crosses his arms.