She glanced at the building. She needed to get away from this place, as far as possible, somewhere she could forget about what had happened.
Not only had she fornicated outside marriage and cheated on the man she was to spend her life with, but she’d done it with a shifter. She’d had sex with a beast.
As tremors rocked her body, she placed her trembling hands together and prayed. “Dear lord, please forgive my sin, even though it is unforgivable.”
Was this her punishment for cheating on her future husband? Being taken by one of those despicable creatures?
If so, it was nothing more than she deserved.
CHAPTER FIVE
* * *
THE SHIFTER KISSED HER…WIPED away her tears. They were on the dance floor, where he held her close…and then they shifted to the sofa, where he took her with a force that made her ache with desire…
Ivy awakened after another night of tormenting dreams, her body damp with sweat. It was already morning, so she got out of bed and went to the large ensuite bathroom. As she stood under the shower, the hot water made her body tingle, reminding her of him. A week had passed, and although she was still horrified by what she’d done, part of her was exhilarated that she’d had that experience with him. And there was yet another part that mourned because it was something she would never have again.
After leaving the bathroom, she wore a navy knee-length dress with a high neckline and short sleeves. John would join them for breakfast this morning so smart and somber it was.
Mother was already in the dining hall, waiting. She was dressed in a floral dress, her hair combed, makeup perfect and pearls around her neck. She prepared herself in her finery before emerging from her bedroom each morning, as if she was going for a special outing. But instead, she spent most of her time inside this house.
“What is wrong, dear?” she asked. As Ivy sat next to her, she poured tea from the Victorian tea pot she had acquired from England, with matching cups and a little tray.
The dining hall was full of items that had been ordered from around the globe. Large ostentatious pieces of antique furniture, ornate wood chairs with seats covered in floral cotton, expensive artworks, and large mirrors mother no longer dared look at. The whole place looked like an image from a magazine depicting a long-gone era. As with many Association houses, this was an ode to a past, a world in which supernaturals only existed in myths and legends.
As Ivy kept her eyes on the tea cup before her, mother frowned. “You have been like this since last week, after you returned from your trip with the girls.” She frowned at her own tea cup. “You didn’t tell me much about it.”
What was she supposed to tell her? That she’d ended up in that debauched place and had sex with a stranger…not just a stranger, but a lion shifter? “We went to a restaurant, had dinner and a glass of wine.”
“Mrs. Hall mentioned she saw you leave in a limo.”
So that’s what had got mother nervous, and it had taken her a week to broach the subject. She had been bound to find out, because it was unlikely that nobody would have seen her leave in a limo that night…and ten times more unlikely that whoever had seen her would not report her to Pearl.
“My friends booked it, mother. It was a special treat, to transport us to the restaurant.” Please, don’t start criticizing my friends. Rehana and the rest of the girls were always on their best behavior when they were within a few yards of mother, and when they met Michael, even though it was obvious they did not take to him, they kept their opinions to themselves. Yes, their way of life was different to hers, but that didn’t mean they deserved disdain.
“Well, you know I’ve never liked you hanging out with those girls.”
Here we go...
Irritation shot through Ivy. “I’m not allowed to live how I want, I’m not allowed to go where I want—at least don’t begrudge me my friends.”
She stared down at the cup again, unable to believe she had spoken to mother like that. A long silence stretched between them and then Pearl sighed. “I understand it is difficult in these times of sin to live the way we do, but we are lucky, for the lord has chosen us for his greatest tests. He loves us more than he does others.”
Ivy nodded, holding back the tears biting at her eyes. They seemed to keep coming since that night at Freefall. “I know, mother, and I do my best to be a good person, but sometimes it is difficult.”
Mother took Ivy’s hand in hers, enclosing it in her palms. She placed a finger under her chin and lifted it so Ivy stared into her face…at green eyes, the hue of which matched her own. In Pearl’s tired expression was a glimpse of her own future. “You have done well, and your father would be proud of you. Just continue as you are. You have much to be grateful for, especially now you are marrying Michael. This union will cement our position within the Association. We will never be left unprotected again. You remember how that felt, don’t you?”
Ivy suppressed a shudder. How could she ever forget? She was twelve when she first learned of father’s death and was barely given time to mourn when mother’s fear filtered through—the fear of being left without protection. The fear that they would be attacked by people father had wronged or had disputes with. And then the threats began to arrive…by letter and email…promises to punish Pearl and Ivy for father’s mistakes. Mother had taken to having Ivy close to her all the time, sleeping with her in the same bed, even though she was a twelve-year-old…clutching her at night and whimpering with every sound.
The nightmare had only ended once John visited. He spent a long time in the drawing room with mother, shutting Ivy out as they decided her future. When they came out of the room, mother had been crying, her eyes red and face blotchy, but John’s face was serene, as if a decision was reached. He kneeled so his eyes were level with Ivy’s. “Your father is gone, but I am here. I have a good wife, and she will be a close friend to your mother, giving her comfort. You are not alone. We will always look after you.”
You are not alone. We will always look after you.
With those words, the fear had finally gone.
When Michael showed an interest in her, she felt little for him, but it wasn’t as if she’d been attracted to anyone before then. The Association regulations had infiltrated her system, almost making her frigid. They had only been dating a few months when mother took her aside, telling her she must get a ring on her finger. It was the only way to secure their position and continue to live without being afraid. Once she was married to Michael, nobody could expel them from the Association…they would never be alone or unprotected.
Nobody could have been happier than mother when Michael and she were engaged, but his father John behaved as if this marriage was a great favor to Ivy. And perhaps it was. Mother and she had no standing in the organization, and all they owned was the house and a business that just about got by, and that was only because of John and Michael.
“You have to be careful, my dear,” mother said now. “There are many within the organization who resent this match and even feel you are unworthy of Michael. And then there are those who have always resented the special treatment John gave us after your father’s death. They will do what they can to bring us down.”
“But mother, I am confused.” Having already admitted her reservations to that man in the club, it became easier to say it to mother. “I do not feel any attraction for Michael.”
Pearl pursed her lips, tiny lines appearing around them. Despite the hardships, her skin was relatively smooth, but she did not bother hiding the white hairs that had appeared among the blond. Because she felt there was no point? “There is no need for you to feel anything for him. Once you are married, all you have to do is be a good wife and give him enough children to keep him happy.”
A good wife. Like mother had been. Ivy had no idea of what dreams her mother had before her wedding, because she never spoke about them. And after father’s death, there were other men interested in her, but she chose to play the role of chaste
widow instead and become a martyr for the Association’s cause.
“We owe a lot to the Association, and the only way to secure our position within it is for you to marry Michael. He will be leader of the Manhattan branch one day, and you will have a secure future with him. And as a religious organization, the Association has no shortage of funds.”
“All of which go to its main vault.” As the Manhattan branch leader, John received a salary, but the main reason for taking the role was the power and prestige.
“You will never go without, dear, because Michael’s salary and the money from the business will be more than sufficient. The monthly amount John provides from the company profits has ensured our living standard has never dropped…” Her grip on Ivy’s hand tightened. “But most important is the protection we receive from the Association. Once you marry Michael, both our futures will be secure—”
There was a knock at the door, and Fareeda the maid entered. “Mr. Ryder is here.”
The Association leader had stopped visiting as often as he did when Ivy was a child, saying that as she was an adult, it was up to her to provide emotional support to her mother. But since the engagement, he came over regularly.
He entered the hall, a tall figure with silver hair and a commanding presence, and the fact that he didn’t give Fareeda a second glance was enough to dismiss her. He leaned over and gave Ivy a kiss on the cheek, before doing the same to mother. “You are both looking well, as always.”
As he took a seat opposite them both, Fareeda popped her head around the door. “Should I bring in breakfast?”
“Yes, please,” said mother.
“Make sure the food is properly blessed,” mentioned John, frowning at the maid.
“Of course,” said mother. “We eat nothing else, do we, Ivy?”
One of the first things Ivy had been taught was how to bless food as it was cooked and then perform a final prayer once it was ready. She had continued the practice at university, even though it evoked much laughter among other students.
As Fareeda served a full American breakfast at the table—one of John’s allowances in his life of piety—he regarded the food with narrowed eyes, distrustful of anything that had not been prepared under his gaze. Ivy just hoped he wasn’t here to go on about more wedding plans. She was ready for her fate, but it didn’t mean she had to keep being reminded of it…keep fighting the uncertainty that had become stronger since that night at Eclipse. Again, unbidden, an image of the shifter came to mind…how his bare skin had felt against hers as he touched her in all the right places…made her feel so wanted…
“I presume you are free tomorrow?” John was staring at her. She lowered her gaze to her hands. Free for what?
“Of course,” said mother. “Ivy knows better than to spend time on idle pastimes.”
John nodded. “You need to visit Phoenix tomorrow. Michael will take some time off from the business”—her business—“and he will accompany you to finalize the booking.”
Mother sighed. “It is a shame the venue is owned by supernaturals.”
“Which business in Manhattan does not have the fingers of those unholy beings in it these days? And our elders insisted on it, so the government can see we bear no malice toward those abominations.” John’s mouth resembled a snarl as he exposed his teeth. “We are blessed our children will be moving away from here, where there is less chance of their young mingling with those abnormalities.”
The shifter flashed through Ivy’s head again. If anyone from the Association ever found out about what had happened…she needed to get him out of her head before her behavior gave her secret away. She couldn’t let her obsession with him affect her future. The guy wasn’t even human, for God’s sake.
“I have already put together a guest list for the religious ceremony,” John was now saying, “Important members from international offices of the Association. Elders and VIPs only. I will ensure this is the grandest wedding the organization has ever seen.” And the funds for it were coming from the business that belonged to mother and her. Not for the first time, she wondered on the financial health of the company, but she had given up asking those questions a while back. She would only be told that she did not need to worry about such matters. John glanced at mother. “The dress has been chosen?”
“Yes.” He stared at mother as if waiting for further explanation. “White. We have chosen white.”
Pride entered John’s voice. “The white dress will show our VIP guests that she is a woman deserving of Michael.” Something twisted inside Ivy. She was no longer worthy of wearing white. As for John, he finally smiled as he stared at her. “She will indeed make a perfect daughter-in-law.”
A perfect daughter, a perfect wife and a perfect daughter-in-law.
It was all she had ever wanted. This was all she knew, and apart from the uncertainty after father’s death, it had been an easy life. Yes, there were things she hadn’t done, but what was the point of doing what you wanted but being insecure and scared? She glanced around the room, at the luxury that had always surrounded her.
Mother was right. They had a good thing going, and despite the restrictions, Ivy didn’t want to give any of this up…
And now, a new fear struck her. What if Michael found out she’d lost her virginity, not just to a stranger in a one-night stand, but to a shifter? Her hand trembled, and she placed her cup back on the table. She would make sure he didn’t find out. What happened at Eclipse was a mistake. For a few hours of freedom, she had jeopardized her whole future…
If Michael found out, would he break off the wedding?
Probably. He had the same values as his rigid father, and the Association valued few things as it did the chastity of women. Mother and she could be thrown on to the street if any of their associates found out about what she’d done that night in the club. And then the Association’s friends and enemies, and those criminal elements father had once upset, would come for them.
John took a few bites of the breakfast before making his excuses. “So much to prepare for the marriage ceremony,” he mumbled.
Mother knew better than to protest, because John always had somewhere more important to be. It was as if he’d dropped in only to inform Ivy about the venue and ensure she was still behaving as the bride of the future Manhattan leader should.
After he’d left, Ivy relaxed and so did mother. Fareeda returned to the dining hall, took one look at the plate of food John had barely touched and began to mutter. She was like family and had been with them long enough to show her disapproval. She joined their household while father was alive, and after his death, John only allowed her to stay here after she was initiated into the Association…Ivy got the feeling she’d never forgiven the leader for that. As for John, he never missed any opportunity to remind Fareeda of her lowly position. In fact, he’d refused to invite her to the wedding until Ivy insisted she had to be there. The leader had agreed but arranged for her to sit at the back, the area reserved for the least important attendees.
“Fareeda,” said mother, her tone that of an adult reprimanding a child. “They are not only our benefactors now; they are also our relatives. I have told you before that I will tolerate nothing said against them.”
Fareeda muttered under her breath. “I never understood why you needed them. You have a business that is doing well…more than enough money…”
After she’d left the hall, mother murmured, almost as if to herself. “Money is no good when there is no power behind it. Harrison made a lot of enemies, and they increased tenfold when the Association took our property back for us. Do you think those people have forgotten about the past?”
“Mother…?”
Pearl stared at her as if she was looking through her. “The only reason they haven’t come after us is because they fear repercussions from the Association. You know that, don’t you, dear? Two women, alone and with the history we have…we wouldn’t last long on our own.”
Mother’s fears might be exa
ggerated, but they were valid. Or was it that they’d got so used to being taken care of that just the thought of branching out on their own caused fear?
But these thoughts…they were not hers. Her doubts had truly started after she met the shifter. Before that, she was hesitant about her commitment to Michael…but that was normal, wasn’t it?
An upcoming marriage would cause anyone to have doubts, and she’d also faced the prospect of having sex for the first time, so it was natural to be wary…then why wasn’t she nervous when she got close to the shifter, even though she didn’t even know him? As he kissed and touched her in the back of that club, she had not hesitated. After knowing Michael for two years, she was uncomfortable with any physical contact but had given her virginity to a man whose name she didn’t even know. And now she couldn’t get him out of her mind, his memories bringing doubt about choices she once accepted.
If only she’d never gone to that horrible place.
CHAPTER SIX
* * *
JUNAID’S DRIVER DROPPED HIM outside Phoenix’s main gate and then drove to the rear car park. The Association couple should be here soon to discuss their booking, and Junaid had chosen a tailored navy two-piece with a white shirt. Briefcase in hand, he approached the security guard, who recognized him and immediately opened the gate to let him through.
As he walked through it, Junaid’s first thought was that it was understandable why the venue was being touted as one of Manhattan’s best wedding options. It comprised a luxury hotel with several individual halls that could be booked for different types of events. He didn’t linger, making his way to the banqueting hall area, where the Association ceremony would take place.
A huge garden flanked the white building, which had been constructed in a palatial design. He walked up the path that cut through the middle of the greenery and water features on either side. A magnificent ice sculpture of a giant phoenix rose to the right of him, intricate cold flames etched by one of the world’s most renowned sculptors—yes, the feature was of real ice, kept in place by special technology that created a shield around it and regulated its temperature. A view of Manhattan formed a beautiful background for the sculpture, and on his other side, the river stretched out. Little surprise that the local media had named the venue a small paradise.
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