“Maybe,” I teased, already changing. We walked downstairs, through the living room, out to the high wrap-around deck. The hot tub sat at the last edge, out of view from the rest of the world. In the dark, we couldn’t see the view, though the chill in the air reminded us where we were. Matteo turned on the jets and rainbow of lights inside the tub, though I snuck in first, letting the warmth sting me as I separated from the cold night air. He followed, wrapping his muscled arms around me. I tipped my head, so it leaned entirely in the arch of his neck, allowing him to whisper in my ear as the warm water held us.
“I can’t stop thinking about it—what I would have done if they hurt you.” His head sat against mine, the tips of my tied hair dipped into the tub. “It scares me, thinking about how far I would have gone to have you safe.” Steamy air caressed my ear as he spoke. Turning around, I straddled his body, looking into his chestnut eyes. I wanted him to stop worrying. I knew he was beating himself up for every detail of what had happened.
“One more day and I’d have killed them all, then run for you.” I grinned, letting the corners of my mouth turn and linger. He looked back at me with a coy smile and narrowed eyes.
“Well then, I should have given it another couple of days.”
“What about your bucket list? You have time to make any additions lately?” I asked, laying my buoyant breasts against his chest.
“I’ve wanted to blindfold you for surprises. You?” Matteo asked turning his head away, slightly keeping eye contact.
I mirrored his reaction and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I was thinking of a hospital roleplay. We can live stream. You seemed to enjoy that.”
Matteo smiled widely, his grin an apparent approval. If I hadn’t known it before, I knew now there was no stopping. We were addicts, addicted to sex, addicted to our list, addicted to leveling up, and I loved every single moment.
I wanted to tell him right then I hadn’t slept but for a few hours in two nights and that I was afraid to sleep tonight. Tell him that horrid nightmares were riddling me with fear, but he was going through so much. He had fought so hard to get to me. I didn’t want to add to the drama. So, that night I slept as long as I could, and when I was jolted awake, I tiptoed out of the room and watched tv until the sun was high enough that I felt safe.
He slept in the following morning, letting the Alaskan sun wake him naturally. I sat out on the front deck, drinking a warm cup of tea I’d brewed around 4 AM. In the nightmares, strange shadow men were always chasing me, grabbing me, hurting me. It was as though I were there again, in the darkness. Alone.
In the light, the cabin transformed, and my fears mostly subsided. Large picture windows in each room framed the hemlock, cedar and pine that grew in groves amidst the valleys and hills surrounding the house. Below, winding in and out of the same valley, a rushing river. All of this in front of tall, jagged white-capped mountains in the distance. The scene was like a painting, stretching out perfectly as far as my eyes could see.
“We have to go for a hike!” I said, glancing up at Matteo, now joining me on the deck. He was still in his gray sleep pants and a t-shirt, his eyes in a sleepy haze. There was an intimacy in this; both of us barely awake, unkempt.
“We’ll get lost. We have no maps and I’m sure there’s no trail.”
“No, we’ll be fine. I’ll pack a picnic. We’ll follow the river for a bit.” I had been aching for scenery like this for months. I gulped down my hot tea, then ran up the stairs to change. We had been everywhere in the world and back again. I couldn’t wait to touch the pine and sit by the river.
Seeing the thirst in my eyes, Matteo relented, playfully joking in defiance. “Woman, when I say no… I mean, no!”
I smiled, letting the rounding of my cheeks wrinkle my eyes. “Well then, I guess I’ll see you outdoors.”
Bounding down the hill towards the river was fast and furious—allowing for no error and no slow down. It was much steeper than I’d thought. We reached the water in mere seconds, thankful we hadn’t hit a stone or boulder on our way down. The river stretched out in both directions, running under a canopy of forest one way, separating and branching into open fields in the other direction.
“Which way?” I asked, with my hands on my hips. I’d worn tight blue jeans and a purple long sleeve, cut just enough to show the joining of my breasts.
“Towards the fields, let’s look for bears,” Matteo announced, already walking towards the tributary. “Plus, maybe there’s a lake up here.” I liked the way he thought, so we walked towards the fields, taking in the fishy smell of the river as it melded with late bloom flowers on the banks.
“It’s salmon season. We’ll definitely see some bears,” he remarked, seeming to enjoy the peace of nature.
There scant moments in life when you feel alone in the world, like an isolated indigenous species no one has heard of. This was one of those times, and I appreciated the hell out of it.
Tall pines surrounded us as we walked further on towards the open field. The turquoise river raged at our side and muffled the sounds of our steps as we wandered. I looked back at the quaint cabin on the hillside and I imagined raising our children in the house. I imagined them growing and catching fish with Matteo in this river. Never having to leave or worry about money, or people, or blackmails ever again, just staying in this spot forever. I let my mind wander as we walked along a path we were creating.
“You think they have turned that video in?” he asked, ruining the moment.
I shook my downturned head as I kept an eye on the path, “We could check our phones.”
We hadn’t much talked about the incident since we left Italy. Though, to feed our curiosity, we took a break on the edges of the bank and typed ‘Matteo De Luca.’ Today was the third day and nothing new had surfaced. The world continued going to hell without us.
“Nothing, just more bucket list stuff,” I said, wanting to continue pretending none of the other drama existed.
“Yeah, did you see how popular this is becoming? Everyone has their own ‘explicit list’. We’ve started a thing.”
“No, I didn’t see that.” I searched my phone, googling ‘explicit bucket list’ and sure enough, the title popped.
‘Billionaire good boy—gone bad Matteo De Luca, may have started a trend with his explicit bucket list, says millions of Instagram users who are on a mission to spice up their sex lives.’
I dove deeper, clicking the link to the Instagram account where #explictbucketlist was trending. Ideas galore, some tame, others wilder than we’d thought of, and some we were stealing.
“Well, that’s a change of pace,” Matteo said, tucking his phone back into his pocket. “I just wish I knew what really happened to Erik.” His eyes were moist and riddled with stress.
I walked to his side, offering him a canteen filled with water. “What if we were to hire someone, have them track the Kings Ranch people and see what’s going on.”
“I’ve been looking, but I don’t know who to trust. I worry letting anyone in sets us up for leaks and more blackmail.”
“We don’t have to trust the person; we only have to verify they can do their job. Don’t these people work by word of mouth? If they were running around making bad deals everywhere, they’d be screwing themselves over.”
Matteo’s eyes were wide; his pupils dilated in thought. “I know a guy who has a decent name. I’ll give him a call, see what he can find.” The conversation seemed settled, though I knew it wasn’t.
We walked fifty feet further upstream to a flat sandy spot at the river’s edge. Matteo pulled the blanket from the backpack and flung it out onto the sand, then began unpacking our lunch. The sky was overcast, though bits of sun peaked through as the clouds moved past.
“Alfresco,” he trilled, breaking the seal on fresh salads I’d packaged up. “In the open air.” I loved it when he tangled his Italian with English as though it were an involuntary tick. He leaned back onto his
shoulder, twisting his body towards me as he ate. “So, what are we doing tonight?”
“Tonight, well… tonight, I thought we could live stream. I brought our masquerade masks.” I popped a berry in my mouth, then changed my tone—slithering into a southern twang as though I’d inherited it from the berry. “I’m gonna need a full checkup, Dr. De Luca,” I drawled, fanning myself with the lid to my salad. “I’m mighty sick…”
Matteo lifted his body with one arm and pulled himself to my side, leaning me towards the ground with his lips. I let him take me over, falling into his large hand as he laid it beneath my head, cushioning me from the hard surface.
Looking at him felt like a memory, like a whisper I’d heard my whole life, a light I’d been walking towards but didn’t know why. There were millions of people on earth, but here in the middle of nowhere, with this one person, was where I knew I was meant to be, even if everything else was crumbling around us.
Chapter Eight
Matteo
Clouds moved, though the night stayed dark despite a full moon, a slight wind now howling in the distance. I turned on a lamp in the loft and covered the pool table with a sheet, then unbuttoned my white shirt as though I were wearing a lab coat. Hannah pranced out in the tiniest dress she owned; the fabric hugged her curves. She turned on the live stream and let me lift her onto the table. Her short legs dangled from the edge, swinging as she waited for my return.
I cleared my throat, tapping at a file I’d found in the bookshelf, “Good afternoon, Ms. Black… is it? What brings you in today?” Her performance shocked me, as she turned from playful southern drawl to serious ailment.
“I’ve had some pain in my lower… region,” she announced very seriously.
I took note of the turn and played off her. “I’m sorry to hear that Ms. Black, let me take a look. Would you mind removing your clothes?”
Her face went flush as she flashed a coy smile, and hopped off the table to pull the tube dress off her body—peeling slowly as though she were a banana. The comments section lit up as each shapely breast fell from their veil, exposing dime-sized nipples. A slight chill raised each one to attention as she continued to undress.
“Let me help you,” I said, lifting her nude body back up onto the table. She was shaped like an hourglass, with silky smooth skin that made my fingers feel too rough. “Okay, bear with me here while I check you over well.”
First, I started with her eyes and ears, taking my time around the lobes, whispering as I leaned in closely near the opening. Next, I ran my fingers through her long hair, concentrating on her scalp, to check for any bumps.
“You seem to be good there. Let me check your lymph nodes.”
She stayed quiet, enjoying the soft, close, personal attention as I tapped the tips of my fingers down the sides of her throat and onto her collarbone.
“Any pain or discomfort with that, Ms. Black?”
She shook her head side to side.
Continuing with the exam, I reached for two latex gloves I’d found in the bathroom, then cupped my hands over her breasts. “Any pain here?”
She winced, “A little, near the nipples.”
A sword grew between my legs at her slight sounds. “I’m sorry to hear that, let me try this…” Reaching for the tingling lubrication gel, I squeezed a small dot onto my gloved fingers, rubbing it onto the latex before applying it to her nipples. “Please, let me know how this feels.” Starting with one, I began to rub, massaging the gel into her purple tits like a maestro conducting a small orchestra. She moaned, holding back the brunt of the sound, as though embarrassed to be feeling such pleasure with the doctor. My cock jumped, eager to feel her warmth. “Is this good, Ms. Black?”
She let out a sigh, “Yes… but it’s caused some pain below.”
“That’s too bad, let me take a look. Can you lean back for me?”
Resting her back onto the table, she faced her lush pussy towards the live stream for the world to see.
“I’m going to insert two fingers. You let me know if you feel any pain.” Slowly, I entered her soft wet sponge, feeling the swollen inner layers of her body.
She let out a moan. “Right there, it hurts a little.”
“Right there?” I repeated, pushing upwards towards her g-spot.
“Right there!” she moaned again. This time louder. Alerts continued to ring out. Desperate to push inside of her, I struggled to stay in character.
“So, we have nailed down the spot. What if I touch you here as well?” I asked, moving my thumb onto her clit as I continued to push at her g-spot.
“That makes it a lot better, but still, it feels strange,” she answered, wiggling her hips against the latex gloves.
“There is one more thing we can try Ms. Black, but it may be a bit uncomfortable at first,” I said, pulling the slippery gloves from her depths—struggling to ignore the sweet scent wafting from her loins. I wanted to devour her. Unbuckling my pants, I let them slide to the floor with a light thud. “Okay, again… this might feel uncomfortable. You let me know.” With her back still flat on the table, I entered her. Shallow at first, then deeper, feeling her ridged walls tighten around me.
“How does that feel, Ms. Black?” I asked, now pumping into her with intention.
“That feels perfect. Whatever it is, don’t stop,” she answered, bouncing between each syllable. Being inside of her felt like power, potential, and freedom all at once, teasing me into submission. Her body tensed around me, clamping down on my cock as she began to release. “Yes!” she moaned, slapping down at the table beneath us. A flow of warm wetness surrounded me as I pushed harder, eager to feel all of her against the head of my cock as I listened to her tiny whines amid alerts from the live stream. She was powerful like this, able to take me down in seconds. Following the beat that fell from the base of my neck, I erupted. For a moment, I stood still, sucked into her grasp—then pulled back, taking with me the remnants of our exploration.
I closed the laptop and lifted Hannah from the table, carrying her in my arms to the bed. She rolled into me, her soft sweetness felt like the field we’d been in earlier in the day. “You indulge this, this crazy part of me. You make me feel… normal even.”
“You make me feel normal, too,” she laughed, leaning into my kiss.
We drifted off into the night in each other’s arms, quiet and in sync with one another’s breath—though a shattered scream shortly after midnight startled me. Hannah was now straight up in the bed, her hair a wild mess, her back soaked with sweat.
I lifted my hand, brushing it along the clammy skin on her arm, “What’s going on?”
She stayed quiet, unmoving in darkness.
“Hannah, are you okay?”
As she turned towards me, I noticed her eyes were only half opened as tears jerked their way onto her cheeks. She screamed again, speaking as though she wasn’t yet fully awake. “Leave me the fuck alone! Don’t touch me. Stop!” Her words had become infused with fury as she punched and pushed at the air then forcefully towards me.
“Hannah, it’s me… you’re okay.” I pulled her into my side, harboring her from the nightmare.
She crumbled, letting me hold her. For a moment, she didn’t say a word and I couldn’t tell if she was awake. Then, she sat up and looked at my face, staring long and hard as though she were making sure I was there.
“It was a nightmare. I’m sorry to wake you.” She said the words lifelessly then rolled back onto her side.
“Bella, what’s going on? Talk to me.”
She stayed in place, not speaking.
I placed my hand on her shoulder, attempting to roll her onto her back. “Please, tell me what’s going on.”
She turned, still stoic in expression. “It’s nothing.”
“How long have you been dealing with this ‘nothing’?” I asked, brushing a pile of hair from her face.
She stayed quiet for a few seconds, then spoke, “Sinc
e I got back. I haven’t been sleeping much.”
We’d been avoiding the topic of the blackmail, and suddenly I felt like an ass for not asking for more details of what they’d done to her.
“What did they do to you my Bella? What did they do?” I choked the words out, though I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know.
She sat up, leaning her back onto the wooden headboard. “Nothing. It wasn’t anything. They knocked me around a little, and the video thing. Then a guy came down and wanted me to suck his dick, but he was called away before it happened. It was nothing. I don’t know why… why I’m so scared now, why I can’t sleep, why I check my shoulder wherever I go, why I worry someone is coming for me constantly.”
Of course she was having fucking nightmares. She’d been taken from her sleep in the night. She’d been tortured and held. A pain grew in my stomach that hadn’t been there before. A full, gnawing pain that crippled my thoughts, causing straight lines to bend, and sweet to taste like sour. I’d failed to do the most basic of things. I’d failed to protect the woman I love.
“I will stay awake tonight. I will watch you sleep. I will make sure you are safe.” I pulled her into my arms, wanting her to feel protected, cared for.
“You can’t stay up all night, you have to sleep. It’ll get better. I just need time.” She rolled towards the window, spooning back into my arms. “Let’s just go back to sleep. I’m dying to see the forest again in the sunlight.”
I didn’t respond but continued to hold her tight against my body. Yet, despite my best efforts, I dozed off a few times in the night. Enough times that she’d woken before me and snuck away.
Chapter Nine
Matteo
The following morning, I found her awake on the couch. She was laying out, changing channels with the remote.
“My Bella, how long have you been up?”
She looked like a hermit crab tucked into her shell, her voice quiet, “Oh, just a few hours. What’s on tap today?”
Craving Cowgirl Page 3