“It was Joshua’s suggestion. I think he was trying to give you more business.”
“Now I’m curious.”
Owen sighed and stepped down from his tractor. “I went to speak to the sheriff today and I was confronted by several reporters when I came out of the building. They followed us to Joshua’s place. He had them leave but he was afraid they would follow me when I reached the county road. He told me about a cow path that led here. I would like to see the cow that could make that trip. I’m more inclined to think it’s a mountain goat trail.”
“What did the reporters want?”
“They knew about Grace being found and about Rebecca’s death. They want details. Joshua said if they trouble me again I’m to let the sheriff know.”
“I will keep an eye out for strangers and pass the word that they are not welcome.”
“Danki. I had better get going. Grace may be worried since I’ve been gone so long.”
“We’ll come visit tomorrow. Having my daughter, Harriet, and my boys to play with may make Grace a little happier.”
“You’ll be welcome.”
He kept an eye out on the road behind him, but he never saw the cars again. He pulled up in front of Ruth’s house feeling confident that he had not been followed.
* * *
RUTH STEPPED OUT to greet him. He looked tired and ready to fall over. “You were gone a long time. What happened?”
“I could use a cup of coffee and something to eat if you have it before I share my story.”
And a hug, she thought but kept that to herself. She folded her hands in front of her and rocked back on her heels instead of drawing him into her arms. “There are cinnamon rolls, whoopie pies, brownies and three kinds of cookies for snacks. You may take your pick.”
He looked impressed. “You’ve been busy today.”
“I haven’t. People have been bringing things by all day. Food, paper plates and napkins so I don’t have as many dishes to wash, all delivered with kindness and condolences for you.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to thank everyone. Your church has embraced Grace and me. I’m truly grateful.”
“Half the people who came were not members of our church. They were the volunteers who were searching for Rebecca. You will know some of them. You went to school here for two years, didn’t you?”
“I did. The seventh and eighth grade. Tell me, does Julie Temple still teach at the Cedar Grove school?”
“She does, and she was one who brought food today.”
One corner of his mouth lifted in a half grin. “Let me guess, Miss Julie’s famous macaroni salad. Am I right?”
Ruth laughed. “That is exactly what she brought.”
He chuckled. “At every picnic and potluck that I attended while I lived here there was always a large green glass bowl full of green-colored macaroni salad. I’m glad to hear some things haven’t changed.”
“I hate to tell you, but one thing is different. The green glass bowl got knocked off the table and broke at the school Christmas dinner when Faron was in the fifth grade. She brings her salad in disposable plasticware now.” They walked into the house together and Ruth realized how much she had missed him that day. How much more would she miss him when he left again?
Grace came running up to throw her arms around him. “Owen, I missed you.”
He bent and picked her up in his arms. “You did? I’m sorry.”
For a moment Ruth was jealous of the child. Grace had his unconditional love, and she was free to show him exactly how she felt.
“It was a long way into town, and it took me a long time to get back. Are those tears I see on your face?”
She sniffled and nodded. “I thought you went to heaven, too.” She threw her arms around him and pressed her face to his neck.
Ruth’s heart contracted with pity for the child. She stepped close and laid her arm across the girl’s shoulders. “Owen is right here. There’s no need to cry.”
“But he might not always be here,” she muttered between a hiccup and a sob.
Ruth gazed at his face. She knew Grace’s fear was as real as her own. He might not be around for long. Already the hole he would leave in her heart was growing larger. How did she stop it? How could she protect herself against that pain? By not caring, a small voice said at the back of her mind. She silenced it. She did care and there was no going back. All she could do was salvage what was left of her defenses.
His gaze locked with hers. “I’m here now and that’s all that matters.”
She turned away before he could see how much she wanted to believe his words, but she knew better. The future did matter.
He shifted Grace in his arms and used one hand to wipe her cheeks. “Dry your tears and let’s go have a cookie.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“I am. Let’s go watch me eat a cookie.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Shall we take a cookie to Polkadot?”
“Sheep don’t like cookies,” she said solemnly.
“Wow, I’m glad I’m not a sheep because I love cookies.” He bent his head down to see her face. “Not even a smile? Not even a chuckle? Have I lost my funny?”
Grace nodded without speaking. He spun around, quickly making her grab his shoulders. “I have to find it. Here, funny, funny. Where did you go? We have to make Grace smile.”
“I don’t want to smile.”
Ruth intercepted his desperate look. She lifted both hands, palms up. “If she doesn’t want to smile. She doesn’t have to.”
Grace looked at her. “Ruth, will you read me a story?”
“I can read you a story,” Owen said.
She pushed away from him and he lowered her to the floor. “I want Ruth to do it.”
He rubbed his hands on his pant legs. “Okay. That’s fine. Isn’t it fine, Ruth?”
“It is. There is hot coffee on the stove and plenty of cookies to choose from. I’ll come down and join you in a little while.”
She read the confusion in his eyes and knew he didn’t understand Grace’s sudden rejection. Ruth understood. Grace was retreating behind her sorrow. She didn’t want anyone to move it aside. While she loved Owen, he was also the one who broke her heart by telling her about her mother.
Upstairs Ruth sat in the rocker in her room and Grace crawled into her lap. She curled into a ball and began to suck her thumb. It was something Ruth had never seen her do before.
She patted Grace’s cheek. “I know it hurts a lot now, but it will get better.”
It wasn’t the whole truth. The pain never really got better. A person just learned to live with it and keep going forward.
She got out the book about little kittens looking for their mittens and began to read. Ten minutes later Grace was sound asleep. Ruth moved her to the bed and pulled the quilts up over her shoulders as she had done for Ella and for Faron when they were Grace’s age. She leaned over and kissed the top of Grace’s kapp, then went out of the room, leaving the door open.
In the kitchen she found Owen staring into his coffee cup. A few crumbs and a half-eaten cookie decorated the table in front of him. He seemed every bit as sad and inconsolable as Grace. Ruth sat down across from him. “How did it go with the sheriff?”
“I’m not a suspect anymore.”
“That’s goot news.”
“Apparently we are newsworthy now. There were reporters waiting outside the sheriff’s department to ask me questions. They followed Joshua and me to his farm. He made them leave but I think they will be back.”
“Why?”
“Because a lost child is a good human-interest story.”
“Was it my article that brought them here?”
“Who can say? I don’t want them upsetting Grace. She’s been through too much already.”
“She will recover with your love and understanding.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “I hope so. She’s tearful when I’m gone and pushes me away when I’m here.”
“She needs time to adjust to her loss. It was the same way with Faron when his father died. One day he would be fine. The next day he was angry at the world.”
“In the sheriff’s office, I was so angry at the person who could do such a thing that I forgot for a moment I was Amish. I wanted him to suffer as she did. Then I remembered my vows and I was ashamed.”
“For all we know it was an accident. If we forgive, then we have done what Gott asks of us. We are not to judge any man as good or evil.”
“But is it enough? What if this person harms someone else because I didn’t do enough? Wouldn’t I be partly to blame for that?”
She reached out and took hold of his hand. “Only the man who does evil is responsible.”
Owen seemed to realize that she was holding on to him. He was staring at her hand. He turned it over and grasped her wrist with his thumb resting on her pulse. She could feel the rapid beat as her heart sped up. He gazed into her eyes. “You are always ready to help. I can see why Nathan loved you so much.”
She tried to pull her hand away, but he held on. “I care for you, Ruth. I’m sorry if that isn’t what you want to hear. I wish I knew how to go back to the way we were when we squabbled with each other. Now I just want to hold you close and breathe in the scent of you.”
Didn’t she want the same thing? Maybe it was seeing his raw grief that made her let down her guard. She rose and stepped behind his chair, wrapped her arms around him and laid her cheek against his head. She felt his body relax as he drew a deep breath. She stood with her arms around him for a long time. Neither of them spoke as they shared a moment that seemed frozen in time. She would always cherish the memory. He patted her arm. “Reckon I’d better get started on the chores.”
She stepped away. He rose and headed for the door but stopped. He looked back. “Thank you for your kindness.”
Should she admit her feelings for him had grown beyond friendship? She opened her mouth to tell him how she felt but he was already out the door.
Ruth carried his half-empty mug to the sink and poured it down the drain.
When he came in an hour later she had supper on the table. They sat across from each other and ate in silence. When he was finished, he reached across the table and took her hand. It was a simple gesture, but a rush of delight made her feel like a schoolgirl again. She squeezed his fingers. He smiled, his eyes never leaving her face. “Danki.”
“For what?”
“For being you.”
“You are welcome.” He went upstairs and returned shortly with Grace asleep in his arms. Ruth opened the door for him. To her astonishment he kissed her cheek before he stepped outside. She pressed a hand to her face and watched until he was out of sight.
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING Owen saw a car parked in front of the house. He stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind him. Grace wasn’t up yet. The driver and passenger got out. It wasn’t one of the reporters he had seen before. It was a middle-aged couple who approached his house. He heard the door open. He looked back to see Grace looking at him through a crack. “Do I go to the safe place?” she asked.
“Nee, there is no need of a safe place now. They are probably lost travelers and we can give them directions.” Grace crept out to stand behind him. Owen remained where he was. “Good morning. Can I help you?”
The woman was trying to see around him. “Are you the man who found the lost child? Can I see her?”
“Lisa, it’s not likely to be her,” the man with her said. “I’m Eugene Page, and this is my wife, Lisa. We read about a little lost girl in an Amish newspaper. My wife likes to read about the Amish.”
Grace peeked around from behind Owen. Lisa Page caught sight of her and her eyes widened. “Oh, Eugene, she looks just like our Carly, doesn’t she? They could be twins.”
“I see a little resemblance. The hair and the dark eyes maybe.”
The woman walked up onto the porch and tried to grab Grace’s arm. Grace slipped around the other side of Owen. He frowned at the woman. “I don’t know who you think she looks like, but she is my niece.”
The woman had a strange, faraway look in her eyes. “Our daughter, Carly, disappeared five years ago. She always talked about joining the Amish. She wanted to live with God-fearing, simple people. She was pregnant when she ran away. I think this is her daughter. I’m sure this is my granddaughter.”
Owen held out his hand to stop her. “Her mother’s name was Rebecca and she was my sister. I don’t know anything about your daughter, but this is not your grandchild.”
Mr. Page took his wife by the arm. “It’s not her, Lisa. We should go.”
“He’s lying, Eugene. That’s Carly’s baby. I would know her anywhere.”
“I’m sorry we troubled you.” Mr. Page pulled his wife away. “Let’s get in the car, dear.”
“But she looks so much like Carly.”
“I know. I know. They all look like Carly.” He helped her into the car, then got in himself and drove away.
Grace clung to him. “I didn’t like those people.”
“We must not judge them harshly. They have suffered a great loss. I think it has affected the woman’s mind.”
“That’s sad.”
“It sure is. Go in and set the table for breakfast.”
Grace went back inside, and he watched the car drive away. Hadn’t he been almost the same? Looking everywhere for a face that seemed familiar? Asking about Rebecca everywhere he went. Had he looked as lost as Mrs. Page to the people who had answered his inquiries?
At least Lisa Page still had hope. His search had ended.
He turned back to go inside and saw Ruth standing at the corner of the barn. She held a basket over her arm. Her face wore a look of anguish. “It was my article that brought her here. I never meant to sow seeds of false hope.”
“Our best intentions often fall short.” He walked toward her and took the basket from her arm. “I hope you brought the cinnamon rolls.”
She managed a half smile. “I did. How did you know?”
“Just a guess. Come in. A woman carrying a basket of cinnamon rolls is always welcome at my house.”
He was relieved to see her smile widen. He couldn’t believe how the sight of her raised his spirits. He was well and truly on his way to being in love with her. Did he dare hope that she might care for him?
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
GRACE OPENED THE door and peeked her head out. “Ruth, what are you doing here?”
“I thought you might like some cinnamon rolls for breakfast,” she said, climbing the steps.
Grace shrugged one shoulder. “That sounds okay.”
Owen stood behind Grace with his arms over his chest. “I can’t believe she walked all that way just to deliver us fresh rolls. Isn’t she nice?” He hoped she heard the challenge in his voice.
A faint blush brought the color to her cheeks. “That wasn’t the only reason I was out this early.”
“Aha!” He shook one finger at her. “The truth comes out. Why were you strolling through your pastures at dawn?”
Her blush deepened, and he tried not to smile. She was so adorable.
“The sheep are due to start lambing any day. I wanted to make sure we didn’t have any early deliveries. I didn’t find any. However, it’s time we started checking daily.”
“Do you hear that, Grace? We have been given a backseat to a bunch of baby sheep.”
Ruth glared at him. “There is no front seat or backseat. There are only the sheep to be taken care of. That is why you came here. Isn’t that what you told me?”
“I came here to take care of Ernest’s farm, an
d I got tricked into taking care of sheep for you. It took me days to get the smell of that lanolin off my hands.”
She waved aside his comment. “Now you’re being ridiculous.”
“A little. It’s better than being too serious, don’t you agree?”
He detected a tiny twinkle in her eyes. She raised her chin. “Are you saying I’ve been guilty of being too serious?”
“I’m saying perhaps we both have.”
She gazed at him for a moment and then nodded once. “We have been. It’s not unusual for me, but it must have been a stretch for you.”
His grin widened. “Oh, how I have missed this.”
“I didn’t realize my seriousness was making you miserable.”
“Not miserable exactly.”
“Then what exactly did you mean?”
“It was like that time when you were being nice to me.”
Her jaw dropped. “Try to be more specific. I have been nice to you many times.”
“Actually, you haven’t.”
“You make me sound like some kind of cruel boss.”
“There now. Take that statement for example. How did you become the boss of me?”
She rolled her eyes. “It was easy. I tell you what to do. And you do it.”
He pointed a finger at her. “I can see this conversation isn’t going anywhere. I say we declare a truce. If you’ll stop telling me what to do, I will stop making fun of you. It will be hard, but I will try.”
She thought it over for a minute. “That’s not a bad idea.”
“What do you say, truce?”
“Agreed.” She smiled and held out her hand.
He gave it a quick shake and held on to it longer than necessary. She looked down as a blush stained her cheeks.
Grace disappeared back into the house. He released Ruth’s hand and held the door for her. She was staring across the field toward the county road. “Do you see someone parked along the road? I can’t tell if it is black or a very dark blue.”
He looked in that direction. “I wonder if it’s a reporter?”
The Hope Page 23