by Cara Wylde
“This is getting too complicated,” Lorna moaned. “How many parallel dimensions are there?!”
“No, look,” I said, pushing a bunch of papers over to her. They were filled with drawings and scribbles. “We’re dividing them by time. These are the universes that are slightly in the past compared to our time. And these are the ones that are in the future. My mom is in the future because I clearly remember Morningstar being older. Yoli will focus on these.”
“Right. Any of them in the present?”
“I think I only found two,” Yolanda said in her clear, childish voice. This was an exciting project for her. She was so busy sleeping, dreaming, and writing down what she remembered that I was starting to get worried about her grades. “I think. I can’t be sure. I usually try to find a store where I can check the date in the local paper, or I ask someone. But it’s weird to go around asking people what year it is.”
“Anything interesting?”
She shrugged. “In one of them, I’m still at the orphanage.”
“We don’t care about the ones where time runs parallel to ours,” I pointed out. “Katia is in the future.”
“Have you seen Morningstar?” Lorna continued her impromptu interrogation.
“A few times.” Yoli shuddered. “Sometimes he’s normal, but most times he’s scary, with that black cloak and his scythe… And I didn’t even recognize him once. He looked like a skeleton. Even his wings had lost their feathers.”
A knot formed in my throat. Lorna shot me a suspicious glance, then asked the question she knew I wouldn’t have the guts to ask myself.
“And how did this particular dimension look like? Where he was a skeleton…”
“I couldn’t see much. It was dark. Night, probably, but I couldn’t see the moon. There was no moon. The city was in ruins. Tall buildings crumbled to the ground, abandoned cars, nature taking over. I walked around, tried to find someone, but there was no one, as if they had all died a long time ago.”
“Did you see any bodies?”
Yoli shook her head. “That’s why I said everyone must have died a long time ago. I tried to find a newspaper or something, but the stores were empty. So, I walked some more, figured I’d either find something or wake up at some point. I saw him from a distance. He landed on top of a car. I hid because he looked so scary. It was as if his bones were glowing from inside his body. Then, a bunch of cloaked people appeared from inside the ruined houses and gathered around him in a circle. They were skeletal, just like him, little meat on their bones, but they didn’t glow. They had scythes, too. I got so scared that I woke up.”
“The future?” Lorna suggested thoughtfully.
“I’ll retire him before that happens to our world.” I hoped I sounded confident even though I wasn’t.
“Yoli, was he a version of our Morningstar, or was he… actually Morningstar?” That was a wise question, indeed, but I doubted Yolanda could answer it.
“I don’t know. I’ve never met him.”
We moved on. Another quiet evening of dissecting Yoli’s dreams and mapping dimensions I’d never get to see. From what I could tell, she hadn’t found my mother’s dimension yet. I knew every detail of that dream. Well, not dream. Inter-dimensional trip to the world that had become her cage. If Yolanda found it, I would know in a second. I remembered Morningstar’s house, the fence I’d climbed to see inside, his neighbors, even the people walking their dogs down the street. I remembered the wooden table on the patio and the coffee his pixie had served. I remembered my mom sitting by the pool, reading her book. Her golden hair in the sunlight… No, Yoli hadn’t found her yet. But she would. She had to.
“Your mother can still dream jump, can’t she?” Yoli asked out of the blue.
“I think so.”
“Maybe she’s looking for you right now, as we’re looking for her.”
That reminded me… I’d had so much on my mind lately, that I’d completely forgotten to ask Corri what she’d meant when she’d said she knew why Katia hadn’t been able to find her way back.
“Corri, when I sent you to Bulgaria, you said you found something.”
“Oh, oh! Haven’t I told you?” When I shook my head, she continued, but not before throwing Yoli a concerned glance. “It’s not pretty. And I’m sorry it happened this way.”
“What happened?”
“Your father did something… awful.”
“What a surprise!” I said sarcastically. “Just tell me what he did.”
She gulped. “Well, we know that the most gifted dream jumpers can switch places with their versions of themselves in parallel universes, and Katerina Angelov was one of them. For that, she was believed to be a schizophrenic, probably because she was normal today, then tomorrow she’d act like an entirely different person. Because she was a different person, technically. There’s one condition to making the switch: the dream jumper must also exist in the universe he or she jumps to.”
“It doesn’t make any sense. Valentine forced my mother to switch places with the other Katia when she was already dead. In her parallel universe, Katia died while giving birth to me. Well, a very much dead me.”
“I know! And that’s what I don’t understand! Somehow, your mother was able to take over her body in the other universe. So, naturally, I was thinking that she could have returned to her own body in this universe, if she wanted to. I poked around and found the record of her death at the clinic. It appears that one morning, the nurse just found she’d passed away in her sleep. Naturally, the clinic was supposed to hand her remains to her family. Morningstar showed up. I saw his signature on the release papers, and I followed the trail. He didn’t bury her, as is the custom of the Orthodox people. He cremated her.”
“Oh my God. But why?”
“My only guess is that he wanted to make sure your mother would never be able to return to this universe. Without a body, how could she?”
We were all silent for a long while. I was struggling to wrap my mind around what Corri had just revealed. I had to find out how Katia had been able to switch places with herself when she was already dead in the other dimension. I felt like there was something there… Maybe the key to understanding all of this.
“Do you know what this means, Mila?” Lorna broke the silence reluctantly. “That even if you could travel to her universe, you couldn’t stay. You don’t exist there.”
I nodded. That was another thing that was just dawning on me. And it wasn’t pretty. To know that we were separated like this. That he’d done everything in his power to keep us separated. I was boiling inside.
Yolanda reached over the mess that was on the floor and took my hands in hers.
“I will find her for you, sister. Don’t worry. And I will find him, too. I’m not afraid of him. He can’t hurt me. He doesn’t even know me.”
I looked into her eyes. Blue met blue. We really did look like we were sisters, not second cousins.
“Be careful.”
This time, I didn’t tell her to keep away from him. Even though she was just a kid, she was strong. And I needed her.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The Colossi Valley was just a fancy name for the Valley of the Giants. We entered through a portal in the Andes of Peru, and at first, it didn’t seem like we’d stepped into a pocket universe. The terrain was the same. Then we saw the mountains around us move, and we understood they weren’t mountains at all. They were people. Giants. Their skin looked like stone, and their hair was of a dark, muddy color. They moved slowly and deliberately. Every step they made sent shivers through the crust of the earth.
“Class, let’s stick together,” Professor Maat said. “Pay attention to your surroundings and be prepared to teleport away.”
The giants were friendly. They knew the Violent Death Cabal was visiting today, so most of them crouched down to watch us, some even lied down on their huge bellies to get a better look. But they were heavy and clumsy, so they could hurt us by mistake
. It was our job to be careful.
I felt GC next to me, his body giving off the familiar heat that used to bring me to my knees. Used to, because I was resisting him with all my might now. One of the giants leaned over to get a better look at my strange blue hair, and GC grabbed my hand and pulled me away.
“It’s fine. He wasn’t going to do anything.”
“Better safe than sorry.” He pulled me against his chest, and to my own frustration, I couldn’t fight him. Not yet. He placed his chin on top of my head. “I don’t like this place. Makes me uncomfortable.”
I laughed. “I had no idea the great GC Apis even knew what uncomfortable is.”
“I didn’t… before you. I mean, before you broke up with me. Now I feel uncomfortable all the time. At least we’re in the same cabal and I can make sure you’re safe in class, but then classes end, and you just vanish.”
He melted my heart. He was very good at it, too.
“You don’t have to worry about me,” I whispered. “I can take care of myself. And anyway, I’m in no danger at all. Everyone has stopped bullying me a long time ago.”
He shook his head. “No one from the Academy will ever touch you. They know better. But year four is coming to an end. He knows you’ll go after him after graduation. What if he decides to make sure that never happens, and comes after you first?”
“Valentine can’t hurt me. You know that.” I placed my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Oh, how I missed this! How I missed GC, how I missed all my four guys!
“Are you kidding me right now?” He held me at arm’s length and looked me in the eyes. “He killed you once. He gave the order, and the Unseelie killed you.”
I frowned. Our frugal, intimate moment had been more pleasant when he wasn’t freaking out and being paranoid.
“I’m a revenant,” I whispered between gritted teeth, looking around to make sure no one heard me. “He can try all he wants. But he won’t, because he knows it’s impossible to even hurt me now. It’s a stalemate.”
GC’s voice turned into a plead. “Mila, please come back to us. We can protect you. I miss you so much. We all miss you so much.”
I swallowed hard. I got too close, walked right into his emotional trap. I didn’t need this right now. I shook my head firmly.
“I’m sorry, GC. I’m not ready.”
“You said you needed a break. Did you change your mind? Are we done for good?”
Fear flashed in his blue eyes when he said the last words.
“I don’t know. I need more time…”
“For what?”
“It’s personal.”
I walked away and left him standing there, in the middle of the field, alone. I caught up with the VDC and saw Pazuzu staring at me. He’d watched the whole exchange between me and GC, and probably heard most of it, too.
“Mila!”
He tried to stop me. I walked faster, determined to catch up with Mrs. Maat. If I stayed close to her, no one would bother me. It was stupid, but keeping away from them was so challenging that I’d resorted to sticking close to the professors and sitting in the front of the class to make sure they didn’t initiate anything. Naturally, Merrit and Raziel thought I was the teachers’ pet now. He grabbed me by the arm and spun me around. I had the physical strength to break free if I wanted to, but we’d already caught Caspian’s and Raziel’s attention, and I had to pretend I was still a helpless little human.
“Let go of me.”
He furrowed his brows and pulled me away from the group. His green eyes were rimmed with red.
“We need to talk.”
“No, we don’t. I told you I need a break.”
“The break is over.”
“You don’t get to decide when…”
His lips were on mine, hot and demanding. I hit him in the chest, feebly, and I knew my body didn’t want to push him away even when my mind screamed in protest. I wasn’t going to get back with them on their terms. And especially not now, when Yoli and I had managed to map out so much of the parallel dimension network. We were close, I could feel it. Soon, all this would be over, and I could allow myself to love again. Maybe I could even convince myself that I deserved it.
I responded to his kiss eagerly, threading my fingers through his raven black hair, pulling him closer and closer, until I could feel his hard cock through his uniform pants. I was wet and needy, and if we weren’t in a public place, I would’ve thrown all my doubts out the window and gave myself to him then and there. With a groan, I pulled away and took a few steps back. We actually did have an audience. Two giant girls were watching us like they were watching a telenovela.
“Don’t do that ever again,” I breathed out. “Don’t try to manipulate me like that.”
He smirked. “I wasn’t manipulating you. Just taking what I want…”
“You don’t get to take what you want. Not from me.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Does that mean I can go find someone else?”
I pursed my lips and held my head high. He was just trying to piss me off, force my hand. I wasn’t going to fall for it. Not even when my heart ached with jealousy. An image of Paz and Pandora back together flashed before my eyes, and I almost doubled over in pain.
“Do whatever you want,” I managed.
His eyes, redder and angrier than ever, turned to slits.
“Say that again,” he challenged me. “Tell me I am free to fuck whoever I want.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. God, he was cruel!
“Fuck you, Paz. I’m out of here.”
I walked past him, hitting him hard with my shoulder. He grunted in pain, which gave me some satisfaction.
There wasn’t much to see in the Colossi Valley. The giants didn’t live in houses, but in some sort of tents that rose like mountains around us. They were vegetarian, and the few animals that had accidentally managed to cross into their pocket universe were kept as pets. They were a simple, rural people. Not even rural. More like prehistoric. They communicated with each other through signs, facial expressions, and grunts. Peaceful and harmless – as long as they stayed in their world. There were stories about giant bones having been found in South America thousands of years ago. Now I knew there was truth in them. I could only imagine how badly it had ended both for the giants and for the humans who’d happened to be in their path.
“Cutting a giant’s string of life can be tricky,” Professor Maat said. “I believe next week you will talk about it in Anatomy of Souls. Please do your best and not skip that class.” She shot me a look that said a thousand words. She wasn’t happy that I’d started this trend. Now, besides me and Lorna, some VDC students had started skipping classes, too.
It was fine. I had no intention to skip another class or fail another test. I was working hard to recover after my worth score had found itself in the gutter in semester one. I was doing a good job of it, too. If my calculations were right, by the end of the year, I’d be in top ten at least.
“This has to be the most boring field trip, am I right?”
I looked at Francis as if he’d grown another head.
“Are you trying to make small talk?”
He gave me a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry about Paz. He’s been out of his mind lately. There. Not making small talk.”
“Good, ‘cause it doesn’t suit you.”
“Are you alright?”
“Of course I am.”
“He was a little rough back there.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Okay. I mean…” He scratched the back of his neck. “I do worry about you. A lot.”
I sighed. “Well, don’t.”
“I don’t know what to do, Mila. I’m sorry about the ritual, I’m sorry about my family. I don’t know how else I can apologize. I’ll do whatever. Just tell me… what do I have to do for you to forgive me?”
The vise grip around my heart squeezed harder. It had b
een there for a while – the dreadful thing that had turned my poor ticker into its personal squeeze toy.
“Francis, that’s not the reason I needed a break. I mean, it was one of the reasons, but it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m over it. I know you’re not responsible for your family and their stupid actions.”
He looked into my eyes. These guys… Ugh! These guys were making it very difficult for me to stay focused on my problems. Problems that had nothing to do with them.
“Then come back to us, my love.”
My love. He’s bringing out the artillery. Francis had never been the sentimental one. I shook my head firmly, and when I saw sadness pooling in his eyes, I reached out and cupped his cheek with a trembling hand. He leaned into my touch, and I almost broke down then and there.
“Soon,” I whispered. “Do you trust me?” He nodded. “I need to figure out some stuff, and I need to do it alone. This is my battle, not yours. When it’s over, I’ll come back to you. And it will all be just like before. The five of us against the world.”
“It’ll never be like before.”
I bit the inside of my lip. He was right.
“Maybe we’ll get lucky, and it will be better.”
He didn’t believe it, and I didn’t believe it, either. It was all too bittersweet, and the two giant girls from before had moved closer to watch the second episode of their favorite telenovela, this time with another male protagonist.
“I’ll be waiting,” he said.
I chuckled. “Thanks for saying that. I don’t know about the other guys…” And I was actually talking about Paz.
“We’ll all be waiting until the end of time, Mila. Stop pretending like you don’t know that.”
That almost made me cry. I walked away, and he didn’t stop me.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The last thing I needed when I returned from the field trip to the Colossi Valley was to find Sariel fucking Gracewing in my room. Corri flew toward me, the incessant buzz of her wings betraying her panic.
“I’m sorry, Mistress. I tried to kick him out. But I’m tiny, he’s big.”