I let my lashes flutter closed. It would be all right. I trusted him to make the right choice.
His hand clamped the back of my head, claws sinking into my hair. His mouth crashed over mine, capturing me in a kiss that claimed and owned, that stole all breath and reason right out of me. Relief stirred a madness awake, a need to pull him close and never let him go, to own him back and make him mine down to the bone. I broke the kiss with a gasp and threw my head back. His hot mouth fell to my neck, his tongue wet and teeth sharp. I had my fingers knotted in his hair, holding him in check. He was a moving, panting, heated creature in my arms, walking a thin line between monster and man, and I’d never wanted him more and in all the ways as I did then.
“You slay me, Kesh.” The words fluttered against my neck. A promise. A surrender.
“Don’t leave me.” I wasn’t sure if I’d spoken aloud, but it didn’t matter. Kellee scooped me against him. His hands cupped my ass and hauled me up. I locked my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, and kissed his mouth like I could crawl inside him.
My back hit a wall and a piece of furniture to my right toppled over. Something crashed to the floor. Kellee smiled against my mouth, and my laughter bubbled free.
I spied the bed over his shoulder, my whip coiled on the covers. “There’s a bed right there.”
“No bed.” He growled into my neck and dove his hot hand down my back, into my pants, clutching me tight against him. Then he was plastered over me, his entire body pinning me against the wall. I gripped his shirt and tore the fastenings open, giving me access to the warmth of his chest so I could soak him into my skin.
We were moving again. He dumped me on a table or dresser. I didn’t look. Didn’t care. The height put me at the right angle to feel the hard rod of his arousal push against my inner thigh. I tore at his belt, and when it snagged, thwarting my attempt to get him free, I straightened and ran my hand down, over his erection, eliciting a groan that coiled raw need low in my belly. Tightening my grip resulted in my vakaru looking at me with half-closed eyes, the need in them as hungry as the light in his unseelie darkness.
He grabbed at my wrist to hasten me along, but I plucked my hand free and lifted my eyebrows.
“Ah-ah. Did you really think I’d be that easy?” I nodded behind him.
His heated look lingered on me, then, reluctantly, he turned to see what I was gesturing at. My whip. His chuckle was as dark and delicious as rich chocolate. “You think I’m going to let the Nightshade truss me up and fuck me any way she wants?”
“No.”
That stalled him, and his grin turned into a question. He glanced again at the whip, thinking he’d missed something. I bolted. He grabbed for me, as I knew he would. I lunged for the whip, twisted, and sent the tails flying. One hundred and eighty pounds of vakaru tackled me in the chest, and with an oomph, he’d knocked me onto my back on the bed. He dug a knee between my thighs, but I’d been here before with him. I waited for him to lean left and bring his arm up. Once his weight was off center, I shoved his shoulder and hooked his leg at the same time, dropping him onto his side, only the bed ended too soon and we both fell off. Not part of the plan, but now I had him pinned under me, looking wild, with his clothes askew and pretty hair all mussed up.
I straightened, rocking my hips to keep him thinking with his dick, and admired the pretty marshal from the sinks who’d followed me home. He’d gained some rough whiskers, and there was the obvious fact he had inhuman teeth and eyes, but that cockiness was still there.
“Here’s the deal.” I fell forward, letting my hair hem us in so his eyes shone in the dark. “I’m going to play the Calicto messenger working below the law, and you’re going to play the marshal.”
His hand roamed my thigh. I smacked it off, prompting a very un-marshal-like growl.
“Oh really?” he drawled in that smooth voice he liked to unleash on unsuspecting females. His hand was on my thigh again, then on my hip. His fingers skipped down to the front of my pants and flicked at the fastenings as the tip of his tongue wet that smart mouth.
I caught his free hand and looped the whip around his wrist, expecting him to resist. He watched me work, his dark vakaru eyes curious.
“You, vakaru”—I flicked his nose—“are mine.”
His eyes flared, his right leg hooked over mine, and in the time it took me to breathe in, I was on my back. The animal growl that rumbled out of him and through me spritzed a tiny dose of fear into the lust. I still had his wrist caught in my whip, still had the whip firmly in my hand, but as Kellee’s kisses traveled below my breasts, avoiding the numbed cut, and down to the hollow of my navel, his fingers freeing my pants laces, I bit into my lip to keep from demanding more.
He flicked his eyes up, the beast so close I wasn’t sure how much of the man remained. He reared up, dragged my pants over my hips, and jerked me closer. I could have kicked him while he fought with my clothes and sent him sprawling, but I liked where this was going too much to stop it.
His strong hands parted my thighs, the whip rattling at his wrist, and he kissed my inner knee. His teeth lightly grazed. His chest heaved. He’d never willingly hurt me. He had control, even now. Checking my face, he couldn’t fail to miss the heat in my cheeks. He trailed his mouth down my inner thigh.
His mouth touched the innermost part of me, warm and soft. His tongue flicked, knotting my body with need. His hands claimed my thighs and pulled me down beneath him, until I was looking the beast in the eye. I pressed my hand to his cheek and thumbed the corner of his mouth, feeling it lift into a smile.
“Will you love me?” I whispered. “Not the names or the myths and legends, just me? Just Kesh?”
His dark lashes shuttered his eyes, and for a terrible second, I thought his fear had a hold of him again. Then he opened his eyes, and the man was there, his beautiful gaze soft once more. “Always.”
And he meant it. When I was dust and gone, he’d love me, because he was Marshal Kellee, and my heart would forever be safe with him.
He kissed me, rocking with me, and plunged two fingers inside, brushing the swollen, sensitive bundle of nerves with his thumb, making me writhe. When I arched with a gasp, he nuzzled my neck, whispering, “Who has whom at their mercy, Messenger?”
That was a good point. Wasn’t I meant to be holding the marshal’s reins? How far would he let the game go?
I reeled the whip in, shortening his leash. “I thought you didn’t do submissive?”
“I don’t.”
The challenge returned to his eyes, daring me to test him. I was game. Pulling him down, I kissed him like he was made of glass and might shatter in my hands. I explored his mouth and nipped at his lips. When he tried to push and take, I hooked my leg around his and locked him tight, anchoring him to me in two places. Shifting my hips tipped his weight sideways, and when he didn’t resist, I rolled us over, trapping him beneath me once more. The sharp teeth and his claws had vanished but vakaru colors still shone in his eyes. With his pillow of dark hair, braided in random places, and intense unblinking glare, he looked untamed, like something I could capture and keep forever.
Lowering my head, I tasted the rise of his right pec, felt him shudder, and twirled my tongue around a salty nipple. His free hand tried to investigate my shoulder and slide down my back, but I caught it and pinned it. Now I had both hands pinned above his head. “No touching unless I say so, lawman.”
A rumbling, the kind that might scare off petty criminals, sounded inside his chest. His eyes promised wicked delights and all the things he wanted to do with my body. But he was mine now. While I ran my tongue over his abs, I roamed my hand beneath his waistband and found the prize I’d been looking for. He tensed beneath me and slowly arched, giving himself to my hand.
I tightened my grip, making him jerk. “I said, no moving.”
“Kesh, you’re killing me here.”
“I’m just getting started.”
His growls rumbled louder. He
really didn’t do submissive, and this game probably wouldn’t last long. There’s patience, and then there’s a vakaru’s patience.
Mouthing down his chest and probing with my tongue, I listened to his breathing tighten and quicken, working him over until he writhed, and panted, and gritted his teeth to hold himself back. By Faerie, he was delicious spread beneath me, poised to come in my hand.
His hand tore free of my grip and plunged into my hair. He yanked me up him and attacked my mouth, driving his tongue in, stealing my breath and my thoughts. His rough hands dropped to my hips, whip trailing behind, and I let him haul me off the floor and spread a hand against my back, pushing me down over the end of the bed. In the next breath, he spread me open and thrust so damn deep I couldn’t swallow the cry, then went beyond caring that someone might hear us. He had me locked beneath him, driven like a damn nail into the bed, and I wanted more of him, so much more. We’d dreamed of this. I didn’t know if he remembered, but I did. The reality was harder, faster, rougher, like I needed it to be. I fisted the sheets and demanded more. And Kellee gave it to me.
The whip and its grip on him forgotten, I lost myself in the sex. There was nothing else in the worlds, just us, skin to skin, body to body. He shuddered, caught me by the back of the neck, and fell forward. His teeth sinking into my shoulder only added to the riot of feeling, and when his free hand reached around to find the point that would bring me to a cresting ecstasy, all I knew was Kellee. With his teeth in my shoulder, his cock in my body, and his hand at my neck, erotic pleasure tore through me. His touch made me suddenly alive, wrenching another cry out of me. He began thrusting again and withdrew his teeth to rise above me. I looked back, caught the sight of the wild, bloody creature behind me, and pushed my ass against him, changing the angle. The wildness in his eyes blazed red, and Kellee threw his head back, cried out in some ancient and dead language known only to him, and spilled his seed.
I wasn’t afraid.
I’d almost lost him by locking him out. It wouldn’t happen again. He was as much a part of me as they all were. Sota. Talen. Sirius. And Kellee. The four pieces of my heart. I loved him, loved them all more than any dream of toppling the fae, of being seen, of ending the war or saving the saru. I’d give it all up for them, and that was the truth.
He trembled, his body going slack, and catching me watching him, he tossed me the most wicked of playful smiles and pulled us both down onto the bed. His fingers traced over the warm bite mark in my shoulder, healed from his clever vakaru kiss.
Closing my eyes, I melted against him, sensing his trembling had more emotion behind it than a post-sex comedown. “You’re mine now, Marshal, to the end of all the worlds and back again.”
He locked me in his arms. I expected some smart-mouthed comment to make light of the moment but none came. I twisted to find him watching me, his dark eyes too bright and glassy. For the first time since I’d met him, his expression was open and raw, letting me see everything on his face. Marshal Kellee was afraid. For me.
I lay wrapped in Kellee’s arms, trying to slow the seconds, but I didn’t have that power, and all too soon, Sota knocked at the door and informed us that the carriage was waiting. There wasn’t enough time in all the worlds for all the moments I wanted to live with Kellee. My mortality was as much part of me as my saru blood, but as I lay against his chest, listening to his strong heartbeat, feeling his soft breath flutter against my neck, I wished this could end another way. He’d loved before and lost that love, just like Talen had. If I could have saved them that heartache, I would have, but we all knew how this ended.
After dressing, and with Kellee wearing a new kind of smile, we left Talen’s knoll behind and passed through Safira to where the carriage and its horses waited. Sirius’s wild horses chomped on their vine-reins and stamped the ground. They looked ready to bolt, and I couldn’t blame them. The thought of journeying to the Autumnlands knoll, knowing the Hunt was likely nearby, was not a comforting one.
All manner of fae beasties lingered nearby, sometimes poking at Sirius’s marvelous carriage when they got close enough. It was impressive, as were the males climbing aboard.
By cyn, if anyone could end this war, it was them—us. Together.
I was the last one to the carriage, and before climbing in, I turned to regard the wild folk of Faerie. They weren’t unseelie, but they were Faerie’s first children. They weren’t as wary as they had been. They knew me and knew change was coming. I nodded, acknowledging their respect, and hauled myself into the carriage.
Kellee and Talen sat opposite each other, appearing as ragged and wild as the creatures we were leaving behind. I liked this new rawness. It felt authentic.
Sota took up his spot by the window and stared outside, lusting after all those extra tails.
I pulled the door closed. Kellee thumped on the roof, Sirius cracked the reins, and the horses whinnied, jolting against their tack to yank us into motion.
“Next stop, the Hunt’s backyard,” Sota mumbled.
He wasn’t wrong.
Wetness dripped onto my thigh. I looked down to see a splatter of dark liquid soaking into my trousers. Wetness cooled on my lip. After dabbing at it, my fingers came away glistening red. Blood. I could taste it and feel it lining the back of my throat.
Talen was the first to move in. “Pinch here.” His warm fingers touched the bridge of my nose. I copied him. “Tilt your head back,” he said, calm but concerned.
Blood swished around my mouth. I swallowed, tasting too much. More blood flowed around my mouth and down my chin and neck, soaking into my collar. It wasn’t stopping. Why wasn’t it stopping?
The carriage swayed. Air tightened. Cool sweat flushed my face. I reached for Kellee, knowing I wouldn’t make it, and saw him grab for my hand. Then I plummeted through the smothering dark and kept right on falling.
Chapter 15
“Mother Faerie works in mysterious ways,” Eledan said, sounding like his usual irritating self.
He and I stood in front of a never-ending wall of mirrors. Too high to climb over, too long to walk around, and with nothing else around us, I was stuck here.
He was all done up in his purple and silver attire but missing a cloak. Purple ribbons were laced through his braided black hair. Why did he have to be so pretty? Maybe I could smash his face into the mirror, although seeing as this was likely his dream, he’d probably disappear right through it.
“What did you do to me?”
“Me?” He acted hurt, like he couldn’t believe I’d dare suggest such a thing, and flirted with a coy smile. “Why, I was surprised to hear you calling out to me, especially after how we left things—”
“I was not calling you.” Ugh.
“Your subconscious knows your wants.”
“The only thing I want from you is that heart out of your chest again.”
He tossed me a querying look, part curiosity, part concern. “A mortal Nightshade? Faerie must be desperate. Was queen not enough for you?”
Ignoring him seemed the most favorable idea. I turned away and walked along the mirror, stroking my fingers along its cool surface. If Eledan hadn’t summoned me, what had happened in the carriage? I could still taste blood. It had been real. Kellee and Talen would be trying to wake me. This was just temporary. It had to be.
“What do you want from this, Kesh?” Eledan asked. His reflection trailed behind mine like a good little mutt on its leash.
“I’m not talking with you.”
“Where do you think you are running to, my queen?”
I stopped. His reflection jolted to a stop. “Somewhere far from you.”
“Your fear reveals much.”
Clearly, I wouldn’t get rid of him just by walking away. Turning on my heel, I looked him in those perfectly sculpted dark eyes. Rich blue irises, the color of Faerie’s sky in the winterlands. “I’m not afraid of you, Eledan.”
“I know.” He smiled. Just a simple smile, but on him, it was so much more. Hi
s smiles were weapons, like the rest of him.
I grabbed him by his immaculate jacket and flung him against the mirror, pinning him beneath my fists. He didn’t fight, barely reacted. “When will I wake up!”
Laughter danced in his eyes. “Well, that depends on what put you here. Assuming, as seems to be the case, it wasn’t deliberate.”
He was poison. His words were poison. I’d pushed off him, about to walk away, when a huge shadowy creature loomed in the mirror, over Eledan’s reflection. A thing of churning darkness with wings of night and a shining beacon for a heart. I blinked and it was gone, leaving my reflection in its place. Just Kesh Lasota, my clothes askew, my hair tumbling free, my saru eyes wide and pupils dark. I blinked and saw the same girl with a crown of bleached ash wood on her head. Blink. A saru with rage in her eyes, her clothes bloody and torn. Blink. A messenger, with her tek-enhanced whip and drone over her shoulder. So many faces. Above them all, the shadow with wings still loomed.
Was that shadowy thing how Kellee had seen me?
Eledan noticed my shock and glanced behind him, like he didn’t know what I’d seen. I stalked on, needing to move.
“I assume you and your harem are stirring up the fae to rally them against me?” Eledan said, still following.
Considering how Dagnu had spoken of Eledan, if I had been trying to cause trouble, it wouldn’t have taken much persuasion. “You don’t feature in my thoughts.”
He laughed at the obvious lie and quickened his pace to fall into step beside me. “The sidhe did not appreciate you freeing their workforce.”
I’d seen that on their faces when Eledan and I had looked down on them from his knoll balcony. Considering my reputation, it was a miracle none had tried to kill me. Yet.
“They did not take kindly to Mab’s killer presiding over them,” he added for kicks.
“Why are you telling me this?”
His attention wandered, eyes unfocusing while he stared ahead at the never-ending path. He almost seemed reasonable, and that was what made him so dangerous. “I never wanted any of this,” he replied. “I was always the dreamer. It was not my destiny to rule.”
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