“I should come see him,” Irena said.
Maria removed her cigarette. “I wouldn’t. When he does talk, it’s about you.”
“What does he say?”
“Never mind that. Just know it isn’t good. You need to wait for him to cool off.”
“When will you know the escape plan?” Irena asked, changing subjects. She tried hard to keep her face a mask, but she was churning on the inside.
“Before the end of the day, I would think.”
“That quickly?”
“They knew the documents were coming. They’ve been busy.”
“Let me know immediately, will you?”
“Of course, what do you think, I’m crazy?”
Irena returned to her office. Perhaps Maria was crazy, or worse, a double agent. Now why did that thought go through her head? If she was, Irena had trusted her not only with all the orphans, including her Kaji, but Adam as well. What terrible times they lived in, when you had to trust people you weren’t sure you could rely on, and everything depended on you being correct.
She spent the rest of the day at her desk, trying to get some paperwork done. The minutes crawled by. She couldn’t focus. It was nearly five when Maria appeared at the doorway. She stepped in and closed the door.
“Are they ready?” she asked.
“Yes, they are.”
“When?”
“Two days from now.”
“How?”
“They’re going to get them out by the sewers.”
Irena was revolted. She imagined hours, perhaps a day or two, stuck down below the streets in a river of feces and urine. “The children won’t be able to take that.”
“They’ll do better than the adults, you’ll see.”
“I can’t go with them down there,” said Irena.
Maria looked at her, a smile crossing her face. “When it gets tough, you’ll abandon the little ones, will you?”
Irena didn’t answer for a moment. “No, you’re right. I’ll go with them.”
“Have a good time,” said Maria. “You wouldn’t catch me dead down there.” She turned to leave. “I told Jan.”
“What?” asked Irena, alarmed. “Why would you do that?”
“You trust him, don’t you? He must know when and where we need the paperwork delivered. There are crates of it.”
“You shouldn’t have said anything to him.”
“Well, you should have made that clear,” she snapped. “What am I?” she asked, arms in the air. “A mind reader? Go get your brats.” She stormed out of the office.
Irena checked her watch. It was a little after five. She calculated walking times and the start of the curfew. She had just enough time to visit the orphanage. She rushed out of the office and headed to the ghetto. She reached Dr. Korczak’s a little before six. She tracked down Ewa and brought her to the doctor’s office.
“It’s on,” she said. “In two days, we will leave.”
“How will we get out?” Dr. Korczak asked.
“Through the sewers.”
He flinched. “Terrible. But perhaps foolproof. I trust they’ve found places for everyone on the other side?”
“I didn’t have a chance to ask them directly,” Irena said. “But they wouldn’t go forward without that detail sorted out.”
The doctor slumped back in his chair, closing his eyes for a moment. Irena saw a tear run down his face. “Finally. A miracle. We will save these poor children.”
“You have to come,” Irena said. “Ewa too. Everyone is coming.”
“So long as they bring all the children, I will come,” said the doctor. “But if one is left behind, I will stay with them.”
“You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met,” said Irena.
“You’re forgetting Ala,” said Ewa.
“Ah yes, Ala,” said Irena, smiling. “Well, you’re in very good company at least.”
“Will she come with us?” asked Ewa.
“I don’t know. I’m going to try again tomorrow. She wavered last time when I told her I was going to get the entire orphanage out. I hope at least she’ll let me bring out Rami.”
“She’ll come with her or not at all, I’d say.”
Irena turned in surprise. Wiera Gran was standing in the hallway, hands on the door. “What are you doing here?” Irena asked.
“Just visiting the doctor with a donation. So, you’re getting the little ones out? How about me?”
“I wouldn’t think you would need any help escaping the ghetto. With your—”
“Connections? Yes, everyone thinks I have all these contacts among the Germans. They might like a pretty face, but they’ve little use for me as a person, or me for them. No, I will need your help as well someday, Irena. They’ve already shut down the café.”
“Where is Władysław?”
“They found him a job in a factory. He’s safe for now. But me. Nobody seems to want to make sure that I’m all right.”
“Don’t worry, Wiera. I’ll arrange for you to get out, and a safe place to hide. I owe you one, remember.”
Wiera smiled. “I knew I could depend on you.” She stepped forward, dropping a paper bag on the desk. Dr. Korczak opened it; it was full of zlotys. “That’s the end of it, I’m afraid,” she said. “Use it how you think best,” she said. She nodded at Ewa and turned back to Irena. “I’ll be in contact soon. Please, anything you can do. And perhaps I can work on Ala as well. She’s stubborn as a mule. But then you already know that, don’t you?”
Everything was set. Irena left the ghetto and checked her watch. She could make it home, or, if she hurried, there was just enough time to . . .
A half hour later Maria opened her door. She smiled her cynical grin. “I don’t know why, but I was expecting you. Come on in. Mr. Brooding is in his room.”
Irena stepped into the apartment and moved tentatively to the door to Adam’s room. She knocked cautiously.
“What is it?”
She opened the door. Adam was lying on the bed, a book in his hand. He had a day’s growth of beard on his face. His eyes were red and bleary. He looked up at her without expression. “It’s you.”
“I have all of the paperwork,” she said. “I’m going to get them out.”
His face brightened at this and he looked up. “So, you’ve done it,” he said finally. “When?”
“Two days.”
“Will Ala come?”
“I don’t know. I’m going to see her tomorrow. But I have two hundred and fifty documents. Enough for the doctor and all the children.”
“Oh, Irena, you’re really going to make this happen.” He raised his arms and she knelt down to him, falling into his embrace. He kissed her on the neck, the cheek, on the lips. “I’m so sorry I’ve doubted you. I’ll never doubt you again.”
Irena flushed. “You don’t have to say those things.”
“Yes, I do.”
“I see you two have finally made up,” said Maria, feigning a yawn. “I think I’ll visit my friend’s apartment. She needs some company. I don’t think I’ll be coming back. Remember,” she said sarcastically. “Don’t make a racket.”
Irena smiled appreciatively at her friend. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it. Just get to it, you two, for God’s sake.” Maria turned and closed the door behind her. A moment later they heard the front door open and close. They were alone and would be until the morning.
Adam moved closer and took Irena’s hand. She shivered under his touch. He walked to the outlet and turned off the light. He kissed her, first gently, then more deeply. She threw her arms around him, letting him envelop her.
She burned with desire. She’d yearned for this moment since the moment she’d met him. He moved with skill, taking his time, exploring every part of her. She’d never experienced anything like this.
She lay against him afterward, a dim light illuminating his chest and arms above the blankets. She clung to him. She felt so alive. She thought
of Mietek and his robotic fumbling in the bedroom—the last chore of his day.
She’d never known it could be like this. This might be the only time. Tomorrow she could be dead. Adam could be discovered and arrested. Now that she truly had him, she felt a new fear—not just the risk for her, or for him, but for them.
“That was delightful,” he said, chuckling a little.
“Indeed,” she said, resting her head on his chest.
“Why did we wait all these years, Irena?”
“Too many obligations.”
“But the foundation has crumbled to rubble.”
“Is that why you’re with me? Because you have nothing left?” she asked, starting to pull away.
“I’m with you, finally, because I can’t wait any longer. Because I don’t know how much longer we have. Because I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you.”
Her body lit up with electricity. His words echoed her own. Since the moment I saw you. She turned toward him and kissed his neck.
“I hope everything goes well tomorrow,” he said.
“Shut your mouth,” she said, kissing his lips. “That’s not what I want to talk about right now.”
He returned the kiss violently, moving his hands down her back.
* * *
She woke in Adam’s arms. She felt his warmth, admired his naked form in the early morning light. She was happier than she could ever remember having been. She moved closer to him, kissing his neck, holding him close. He groaned and rolled over, still asleep. She smiled, laughing to herself. She finally had her Adam, and in the next few hours she would have her Kaji too. She rose and dressed quietly in the darkness. She tiptoed out of the room and made her way to the door. The flat was still in darkness. She wanted to find Maria to thank her but it was early, and she wasn’t sure which flat her friend had gone to. I’ll come by and thank her tonight. I’ll bring Kaji with me. She can visit with Maria and perhaps Irena could even snatch a few minutes alone again with Adam.
Daydreaming, she traveled home through the early morning streets of Warsaw. The air was already hot, promising a stifling day. She crossed the Vistula and moved on toward her flat, arriving in a little less than an hour. She peeled off her clothing and took a bath, immersing herself in the warm water. She closed her eyes, imagining her day. She’d buy a cake and some special food, perhaps even some meat. They would celebrate tonight.
On the way to the ghetto she stopped at the bakery on Długa Street, piling a basket full of bread and cheeses. She wanted to bring some food to Ewa and Dr. Korczak.
A half hour later, Irena arrived at the orphanage. She was grateful to finally be there. The bag was heavy and the heat stifling. She couldn’t wait to sit down with Kaji and give her the news. She would be home with her that very night. There would be no risks this time. She would ride out in an official vehicle, with documentation and a pass. No German guard would dare interfere with her.
She stepped through the door and realized immediately that something was wrong. The great entryway was empty. Toys were strewn all over the floor as if the children had just left the room abruptly. Irena rushed down the hallways, calling for Kaji, for Ewa, for anyone. But nobody answered. She rushed to Kaji’s room and threw open the door. The room was empty, all her clothes were there, and the bed was made.
She sprinted back down the hallway. Where on earth had everyone gone? And then it struck her. Oh no, it can’t be. Not the children! Not today! She rushed out of the building and back down the street. Her heart felt like it would burst out of her chest, but she kept running, slowing down only now and again when she couldn’t run any longer. She crossed the wooden bridge, shoving people out of her way, and turned north on Smocza Street.
In the distance she could see a large crowd moving down the road, marching toward the Umschlagplatz. They were too far away to gauge whether the children were among them. Irena stood for a few moments, catching her breath, and then she began jogging again, the mass jarring up and down in her vision and growing slowly into a more recognizable form. In less than a minute she knew. She could see the smaller forms at the back of the line. A large group of children. Dr. Korczak’s orphanage was marching to the Umschlagplatz.
She was already exhausted, but she broke into a run, screaming. Her voice was drowned out by the clamor of the mass moving toward the Umschlagplatz. She drew nearer. The heat beat down on her mercilessly. She was within a hundred meters of them now. She scanned the children, searching desperately for Kaji. To her right a group of German soldiers stood in a group, joking and pointing at her. Her mind was ripping through scene after scene of chaos. She couldn’t see, couldn’t think.
She reached the tail end of the column. She could see Dr. Korczak at the head, dressed impeccably in a gray wool suit. He held the hand of a child on each side of him.
“Irena!” She heard the shout. She turned to her left and Ewa was there. “My God, Irena,” she said, pulling close to hold her.
“Where is Kaji?” she demanded.
“I don’t know,” Ewa said. “I looked for her, but the Germans came so fast.”
“Move along!” ordered a German guard, prodding Irena in the back with the barrel of his gun.
They stumbled forward, shambling with the children, whose cries and pleas were ignored by the Polish police, the Germans, even the Jewish officials. What kind of world is this? Irena wondered. She moved forward into the crowd, searching desperately for Kaji. Ahead there was a little girl with jet-black hair and a shirt she thought she recognized. She rushed forward, screaming her name, and lifted her into her arms. The face was strange. She was mistaken. This was not Kaji. The girl shouted and pushed away, fighting her. Irena set her down and moved on, tears streaming down her face.
They were approaching the Umschlagplatz; Irena could see the tall wall in the distance. As they drew closer, she saw the platform was already full of families crammed into the space, waiting for their turn to load onto the trains.
Dr. Korczak reached the gates at the head of the column and stepped to the side, touching the hands of his children as they passed. His face was calm, and he smiled, as if they were on a field trip to the museum. Irena watched him until she drew near, then she rushed up to him. “Dr. Korczak, what are you doing!” she demanded.
“Stop it!” he hissed, not changing the serene blank on his face. “Look at the children. We must remain calm.”
Up close she saw the pain in his eyes. She saw the truth. He knew where they were going, and what was going to happen. He was keeping his composure for the children’s sake. As much as she’d always respected this man, she’d never admired him as much as she did in this moment. But she had to know. “Kaji, have you seen Kaji?”
He didn’t respond, as if he hadn’t heard her.
“Doctor,” she repeated. “Have you seen my little girl?”
“What?” he said, turning toward her. “Kaji? No, I haven’t seen her.”
A wild hope filled Irena. Perhaps she had hidden or run away. She had told Kaji to do so if she ever was gathered up and taken to this place. She searched through the children again, her eyes moving over them like a lighthouse beacon sweeping out to sea. She’s not here.
Irena turned to Ewa. “She’s not with us.”
“I’m so thankful,” said Ewa.
“Come with me,” Irena pleaded.
Ewa hesitated, looking over at Dr. Korczak.
“I can’t, Irena.”
“Please, you must. There’s nothing left here for you to do.”
Ewa shook her head. “You’re wrong. There is one journey left. The children need me.”
Irena took her arm. “You can’t help them any longer. Come with me right now. We can still get away.”
“Irena. Irena Sendler?” She heard the voice and her blood froze. She turned and there was Klaus, a few meters away, standing with a group of officers. “What are you doing there? Come here this instant.”
“Run, Ewa. Turn and run.”
 
; “They’ll shoot me.”
“If you board that train, you’re gone forever. If you run, there’s a chance.”
Her friend looked at Dr. Korczak again then turned to Irena and smiled. “Go find Kaji, my friend. God bless you.” She turned and walked toward the Umschlagplatz.
“Frau Sendler. Come here!” Klaus ordered her.
Irena thought about disobeying, but what was the point? Ewa had made up her mind. She turned and waded through the passing children until she reached Klaus.
“What are you doing in here?” he demanded.
“I was walking with my friend,” Irena said, her voice faltering. “I know Dr. Korczak, I know these children.”
He stared at her for a moment. “I see.”
“Is there nothing you can do for them?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Nothing. If I turned them around, they would have to come tomorrow, or the next day. They have a place prepared for them in the east.”
“I’ve heard about that place,” said Irena, hate in her voice. He looked surprised at that, but he quickly recovered. “Yes, I’ve heard those rumors too. Place your mind at ease. We are not monsters.”
“You are more than monsters.”
He stared at her, his expression blank. “That’s quite enough, Frau Sendler. You have no business here. Do you want to join them? If not, you’d best be on your way.”
She nodded and turned, moving away from the platform. A train was already there, and the cattle car doors were open. As she departed, she could see the children being helped up into the cars. She saw Dr. Korczak, standing at the entrance of one of the openings, reaching down to help one of the little ones inside. Next to him was Kaji, dressed in a beautiful white lace dress Irena had brought her, staring out at the crowd.
“No!” Irena screamed. She rushed back toward the entrance, but one of the guards stepped in front of her, barring her way.
“No!” she repeated, falling to her knees, her mind dizzy and her screams in her ears.
“What are you doing, Frau Sendler?” Klaus asked.
“My little girl is on that train.”
Irena's War Page 23