By the time he reached the minivan, April was sitting in her seat waiting to be buckled in. He knew she was old enough to do it herself, had even be present when she told her mom she was a big girl, but his sister countered that it was always better to let an adult do it.
“Are we going to take daddy to lunch?” April asked, kicking her booted feet as he snapped the buckled and checked they were right.
“We’ll see,” he replied. “Your daddy is probably going to be very tired and want to come home.”
“Oh.”
“If it’s okay with him, though, how about we stop and get you a Happy Meal? How does that sound?”
Her eyes lit up. “Yay!”
With April secured, Linus moved around to the side of the van. Thanks to the stow and go feature, he tucked the unused middle seat into the cargo space. Lawrence, with his leg in a cast, was going to require extra room. How he was going to help Lawrence maneuver in and out of the vehicle, well, he’d cross those bridges when he came to them.
“Are we ready to go, copilot?”
“No,” April exclaimed, straining against her belt. Her little hand sought for the items in the passenger seat, which were well out of her reach.
“What’s up?”
She looked at him, her eyes pleading. She resembled a younger version of her mother, would have even been the spitting image of her had it not been for her father’s contribution of darker hair. “Can I hold the teddy?”
“Of course,” agreed Linus. He closed the back door and opened the driver’s door, slipping in behind the wheel. For a moment, as much as he disliked driving the minivan, he thanked his fortune that it was the sedan that got wrecked. How would he have gotten Lawrence home otherwise? Snapping his seatbelt and then turning on the ignition, Linus finally plucked the little white teddy from the seat. “Here you go. Make sure he practices all the safety rules.”
“Yes, Uncle Linus,” she said, hugging the bear tight. She had picked it out at the store the night before, asking him if they could get it for her mom. Like there was ever a chance of him telling her no.
“Let’s go get your dad and visit your mom.”
“Yay!”
As Linus backed out of the driveway the radio began to play one of Samson’s favorite tunes, and Linus was tempted to change it. April, however, knew her Uncle Samson liked the song and began singing along.
Part way through she asked the same question she had wondered the past few days. “When is Uncle Samson coming over?”
At this point Linus figured the lie of Samson being busy with work no longer pleased her curiosity or her desire to see Samson, and did he blame her? Not in the least, because if he was honest with himself, he also longed to see his boyfriend.
Former boyfriend?
Ex-lover?
Where did they stand, he pondered, was their relationship officially over, once and for all? Three days without a single text or phone call from Samson, and he’d been checking. Religiously. He had only himself to blame.
“Uncle Linus?”
He glanced in the rearview mirror. “Soon, sweetie,” he replied. “Soon.”
What kind of monster lied to a little girl?
* * * *
The engine ticked as it cooled, the radio whispering the weather report, driving home the warning about the impending storm. Samson eyed the massive hospital from the cooling interior of his SUV. Was he making a foolish mistake by coming here? Should he have stayed home or tried to meet up with one of his friends? Perhaps. However, at the same time he wanted to keep quiet the current state of his relationship, not quite ready to break the news to his mom or his brother or anyone else.
Samson continued to cling to hope.
“So yeah, maybe I am a fool,” he sighed, slumping back against the seat.
Over the last three days he tried to act like everything was normal, the lack of Linus explained away by a fake business trip. Not that Linus ever took business trips, unless it was to accompany him, and he barely managed to convince himself of the phony story.
The ache in his chest proved to be unrelenting.
Just like everyone else, Samson had had his heart broken before, it came with the trials and errors of trying to find the right one. The so-called perfect match. A soulmate. This pain, however, was unlike any he’d experienced before. By now, following his previous breakups, he should have hit the point where he picked himself up, dusted off the heartache, and resumed living his life.
So when he woke up that morning he tried doing exactly that.
Samson showered, breakfast, listened to the morning news report, and did his best to ignore the silence dogging his every step. Thoughts of Linus were always there, waiting, and in a rather frustrating way everything reminded him of Linus. It started to get on his nerves, especially when he settled in his office to resume work on the plans for repurposing an old office building.
The proposal, if he wanted his firm to get the job, needed to be done by the end of February. Easy enough. Normally. Unfortunately, at one point he discovered he wrote Linus’s name instead of the word he’d meant to, which didn’t even start with ‘L’. It was then that he threw down his pencil and ruler and stormed out of the room.
Talking, he wanted to talk.
So he settled on a trip to the hospital because if there was one person he trusted when it came to the details of his relationship with Linus it was Marnie. Of course, being out of touch with Linus, Marnie’s current condition was a mystery to him. Still, even if he wound up doing all the talking, Samson figured speaking his worries and doubts out loud to another human being would be enough to provide the sought-after clarity.
Besides, chances were he’d hear her voice in his head, having spent plenty of time discussing matters of the heart with his beloved’s older sister.
Samson tucked the keys in his jacket pocket and headed for the entrance. Little red hearts dotted the glass panels of the entryway doors and more hearts, these ones cut out of paper, decorated the admittance area, each one bearing the name of a child. He knew from previous visits to the hospital that children with serious illnesses were often asked if they wanted to dress up the hospital for whichever holiday was coming down the pipeline. He quite liked the little bit of cheer it brought to the otherwise sterile and cold building.
A quick stop at the desk to talk with the secretary and Samson was on his way up, surprised, and pleased, to learn Marnie’s condition was stable enough they moved her from the ICU.
Why hadn’t Linus let him know?
Sure, he resisted, barely, the urge to reach out to Linus, wanting to grant him some space and time to think, but it would have been nice to know Marine was improving. Samson’s ache grew worse, filling him with an odd sense of numbness, like someone had reached into his chest and torn everything out, leaving him hollow and empty.
“That’s your life without him,” he muttered to his distorted reflection in the closed elevator doors. “Suck it up and give him what he wants or…learn to live with silence.”
Give him what he wants. The words bounced around in his skull. What kept him from popping the question? Honestly, he frowned, this was getting stupid. He should just do it.
But even as the elevator chimed and the doors whooshed open Samson knew he had a whole new set of problems.
If he proposed now was it because he truly wanted to or because he felt pressured to make the move to keep Linus? Who wanted to start a marriage that way, wondering if the decision was made from the bottom of the heart or because someone felt backed into a corner?
Chapter 7
Once at the hospital—they pulled into the lot singing a Backstreet Boys song together—Linus gathered April in his arms and hoisted her up, positioning her on his left hip. Days of carrying her around were running out. It was another one of the reasons she loved Samson. He always gave her piggyback rides and when she was younger, he used to play pony with her. As she wrapped an arm around his shoulders, clutching the teddy bear for her
mom tightly in her other hand, Linus’s mood sank.
He and Samson were an item before April came into the world. In her mind, the two of them had been together forever and that’s how it was meant to be. She grew up with Samson, how devastated would she be if he stopped coming around, stopped being part of her life? The idea of her sad face, her questions why, it broke his heart in an entirely new way.
“Uncle Linus, can we get mommy some flowers?”
“I think that’s a splendid idea,” he smiled. “They have a gift shop here, you know. How about we also find something for your daddy?”
“Like what?”
“Well, does he have a favorite candy?”
April wrinkled her nose in disgust, though on her it was utterly adorable. “Licorice. Ew.”
“What?” Linus faked surprise. “You don’t like licorice?”
“No, it’s icky.”
“Can I tell you a little secret?”
She nodded enthusiastically, her eyes shining. Linus made a show of looking around, then lowered his voice. “It is icky.” On a whim he tickled her tummy, her peal of laughter floating out over the parking lot.
Inside they paused at the desk, Linus confirming his sister’s new room number and getting directions to the gift shop. Once they crossed the threshold into the little space, he put April down, keeping hold of her hand. She wandered about, still clutching the bear, and eyed the various offerings. In the end Linus found himself in charge of a vase of flowers for Marnie along with a little stuffed piggy, its head wrapped in a cloth bandage. April held a balloon. For her dad she picked out a very appropriate stuffed T-rex with a cast on its leg and a small pair of crutches. Gifts purchased, Linus headed for the elevator.
“Daddy is going to be so surprised,” April bubbled, the balloon bobbing up and down.
“I bet he will be.”
“Can I visit Mommy, too?” she asked, looking up at him as the elevator started its journey to the second floor. It was the same question she asked him when they picked out the bear and he flustered for an answer then.
He flicked the pompom on the top of her knit cap. “How about we let Daddy decide?”
“Okay,” she said, though it sounded anything but an agreement.
They arrived at their intended floor, stepping off the elevator as a pair of giggling nurses stepped on. Linus followed the room numbers, April skipping joyfully at his side, until he found the one currently housing Lawrence. The door was partially open, he still gently tapped his knuckles against the wood to announce their presence.
“Yes?”
At the sound of her father’s voice April squealed with delight and broke free, racing into the room, completely forgetting about the balloon. It hit the ceiling, its string still within reach for Linus.
“Hey munchkin,” Lawrence replied. “Daddy missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
Lawrence sat in a wheelchair, his busted-up leg stretched out before him in a white cast. There were bruises and healing cuts on some of his exposed skin, otherwise he looked remarkable given the state of the harm. Linus had requested pictures from the scene and instantly regret it. A miracle had kept them alive, there was no other explanation for it. Neither of them should had lived.
Linus thanked his lucky stars they did. Bruises would fade, cuts and breaks would heal. Death was infinite.
Lawrence leaned over to hug April as best he could, a flicker of pain passing over his face.
“Hello Linus.”
“Lawrence. Bet you’re ready to head home, huh?”
“You’ve got me figured out. I’m going to go crazy if I have to stay here one more day.” He grabbed fistfuls of his hair in mock nuttiness.
“It hasn’t even been a week.”
Lawrence shrugged. “Stay in here a few days and you’ll be singing a different tune.”
“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,” sang April, bouncing up and down. She held the T-rex out in front of her; where had the teddy bear gone? Linus spied it on the floor. “Look Daddy.”
“Did you get this for me?” Lawrence took the dinosaur.
“Yep, do you like him?”
“Of course, I love him,” said Lawrence. He kissed April on the top of her head. “I’ll keep him by the bed for ever and ever.” This declaration seemed to please April.
But if seeing her daddy did anything to sway her from her quest, it was well hidden. “Can we see Mommy now? Uncle Linus says I have to ask you.”
Linus shrugged, meeting Lawrence’s gaze. “I wasn’t sure if we should wait another day or two or…It’s your call. I can wheel you up to her room. Otherwise…I’ll slip in and drop off her gifts.”
Lawrence seemed to weigh all the options, no doubt the same ones that had gone through Linus’s head. A broken leg was one thing, but given the gravity of Marnie’s injuries it might be a bit upsetting to April, seeing her mommy hooked up to all sort of machines, wires and tubes running from her body, and what about when Marnie failed to respond to her daughter’s voice, her inquiries, her mere presence? Was the little girl old enough to truly understand the gravity of the situation?
“I think we can do it,” Lawrence finally decided. His answer brought another round of excitement from April who hopped up and down. The little pompom on her hat wiggled faintly. “But,” Lawrence said, holding up one finger, “you have to make sure you listen to Uncle Linus, okay? And hold his hand the whole way.”
“Yes, Daddy,” April said. To show her eagerness she ran back to Linus and grabbed hold of his hand. “Can we go now?”
* * * *
Up in Marnie’s room Samson was surprised to find her awake, resting comfortably in the hospital bed. Another stab of pain hit him as he realized that not only had Linus failed to share the news that Marnie was on the mend, but also the fact she was awake. Her color was a bit pale and she still sported a number of bandages, however, when she smiled her face lit up and he felt, for the first time in days, a sense of peace.
She gestured with her hand. “What’s wrong?” She gave him no chance to reply. “I can tell something is wrong. It’s written all over your face. You might as well skip all the gushy stuff and just tell me. You know I’ll keep badgering you until you do.”
“It’s nice to see you, too, Marnie,” Samson said, pulling the visitor’s chair over to the side of the bed and taking a seat. This new room was much nicer than her previous location, especially with all the little trinkets and flowers strewn about the surfaces. He mentally kicked himself for not thinking to bring her a gift. How could he forget? Gloomy light poured in from the window, the curtains pulled back to reveal a view of the city and the first few flakes of the storm already cascading slowly toward the ground. The storm had arrived. “How are you feeling?”
“Better than you. Come on, out with it.”
Marnie had been supportive of her brother from the get-go and she welcomed him into their family as though he’d been there all along. Samson thought of her as the sister he never had and she turned out to be an amazing confidant. If he expected an accident to be a setback, well, he should have known better.
With a sigh, his hands limp in his lap, he began to pour out the whole sordid affair, starting with the fact that Linus was obsessed with being married. Even as he spoke Samson asked himself the same tired questions he’d asked the last few days. He was no closer to having any of the answers and his frustration began to build. When he reached the end of his recount, Marnie staying quiet throughout, he felt a weight lifted from his shoulders. When he set out for the hospital he planned to say his piece and move along, not knowing Marnie would be awake to share her thoughts.
“So something prevents you from marrying my brother, yet you aren’t exactly sure what it is, am I getting that right?”
“Yeah.”
She yawned, suddenly looking less vibrant than she had moments ago. Of course, she was still mending and here he was draining her energy with his own problems when she should have been resting and conc
entrating on getting better. Abruptly, Samson stood, the chair legs scraping against the tile floor.
“I’m sorry, I should go.”
She quirked an eyebrow at him, managing to fold her arms over her chest. “Seriously Samson?” She pointed at the chair. “Sit.”
“You should rest.”
“Sit,” this time she said it with an edge to her voice.
Samson sat.
“I know my brother better than anyone, even better than you, so don’t argue with me on that because I’ll win. Hands down. That being said, however, I’m not entirely sure this whole thing is about him wanting to get married.”
Samson fought the urge to laugh at what he found to be a ridiculous remark. Marriage was exactly what it was about. Linus wanted it and he…At this point Samson no longer knew how he felt about the issue, his mind clouded.
“He wants to know you’re going to stay, Samson. In the end, it boils down to that.”
He scowled. “After all these years? He should see I’m not going anywhere.”
“Perhaps, yes. But how many relationships were you a part of that you thought were going to last until the end of time?” She paused a moment, letting her words sink in. “Linus loves you. I can tell from the way he talks about you, the way he looks at you when you don’t notice, you’re his forever whether you see it or not. All he wants is you and I think, no, I know, he’s terrified of losing you.” Marnie held out her hand. Samson took it instantly, their eyes meeting. “You will find a way to make this right, Samson. In your heart, you know what has to be done, what has to be said.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “I trust you. You love Linus just as much as he loves you. The two of you would be lost without each other.”
“But…”
Marnie vehemently shook her head. “No buts, Samson. Do what you have to do. Now mind you, I’m not saying you must propose. That’s a personal thing for you to sort out yourself. What I am saying, though, is that you have to find a way to patch things up. If the two of you fail, I shall lose all hope in humanity,” she said, delivering the last bit with a mischievous grin. “Now you go call that brother of mine. I think I’m going to take your advice and rest a bit.”
Forever Yours Page 3