Page 47
Author: Molly McAdams
Dad just nodded and wiped food from his lips and massive mustache. “You can do that, if you want. ”
“If I want,” I deadpanned.
“Think it’s safe to say I’m speaking for the whole family: we’d rather you go to California and bring home our girl first. ”
Four sets of female eyes snapped to my face and brightened.
“Dad, she left. Again. ” I tried once more to clear that lump out of my throat and barely got the next words out. “It’s over. ” Pain worse than I’d ever felt seared through my chest as I realized the truth of those two words.
“Doesn’t look like it from where I’m sitting,” he said, and played with his knife. “Now, almost everything from your place is already in the trucks. We’ll finish and take it all to the ranch. It’ll be there by the time you bring her back to Texas. ”
Tyler had his phone out and to his ear. “Mom, is she—yeah, he did. I’ll tell him. ” He turned to look at me. “She said congratulations. ” When I nodded he put the phone back to his ear and said, “He said thanks. Is Cassi still there? All right, thanks. Yeah, love you too. Bye. ” After setting his phone on the table he looked at me. “She ran out to get some coffee. ”
“I could hear her. ”
“Gage, you might as well go to her,” Tyler continued. “It’s been long enough and she needs you just as much as you need her. ”
Before I realized what he was doing, my dad threw a credit card down in front of me. “Give me the keys to your place. Like I said, it’ll all be at the ranch by the time you get back. Now get gone. ”
I fumbled with my key ring, my hands shaking so bad I wanted to toss the whole thing at him, but I still needed my truck keys to drive. When I finally got the house key off, I kissed the girls on their cheeks and ran out of the restaurant. This was it. This was the last time I could put myself out there for her. If she turned from me when I got there, it would be over. I would always love her; she would always be the girl I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. But there are only so many times you can handle heartbreak with someone before you have to start protecting yourself.
I was at the airport in no time, but the only nonstop flight had just left, and the earliest they could get me there with the different connecting flights was seven hours. At least it was faster than driving. Handing over the card without a second’s hesitation, I paid for the ticket. I got strange looks from the woman at the ticket counter and the TSA agents when they realized I didn’t have a bag, but I didn’t care. I just needed to get Cassidy.
CASSIDY
CONNOR OPENED THE door as soon as I started knocking. “Hey, everything okay? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you called, but I was surprised you wanted to . . . come . . . over . . . holy shit. ” He breathed the last words and his pale blue eyes slowly danced over my body before coming up to meet my gaze. “Cassidy, you look amazing. ”
I looked down at my light purple threadbare racer-back tank and tiny black shorts. “Oh, um, thank you. ” I knew how he felt. He was wearing a pair of gray slacks and a black button-up shirt with a gray tie. The tie had been loosened quite a bit, the top two buttons of his shirt undone, and his sleeves were rolled up to his forearms. He looked delicious. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah, of course. ”
Connor and I had ended up talking at the coffeehouse for hours that Wednesday, and though I hadn’t seen him since then, we’d talked and texted every day. Sometimes about our pasts, sometimes about my fears with Gage, his fears that he’d never find a woman who understood his past, and other times just to get to know everything about each other. I’d never been able to talk to anyone like I could talk to Connor. I’d thought I could talk to Tyler and Gage about anything, but after meeting Connor I realized there was something about our sharing our past that brought us together on a level I would never have with either of them. There was something about it that was just . . . nice, and wanted.
He opened the door to his apartment wider to let me through, then shut and locked it behind us. “So what’s going on?”
“Are you going to work? Or am I interrupting something?”
He huffed a laugh and grinned crookedly. “No, I just got home after being on for thirty-six hours. ”
“Oh my God, Connor! You need to go to sleep, you shouldn’t have let me come over. ” I started toward the door. “Wait, thirty-six hours? Why were you talking to me? You should have been working. Was I keeping you from your job?”
His smile softened and his pale blue eyes seemed to dance as he took a step toward me and wrapped me in his arms, pressing his forehead to mine. “I only talked to you when I had free time. You didn’t interfere. I got the confession I needed, and we told the family this morning that the killer was caught. ” I inhaled audibly and his hand came up to brush my cheek. “You, Cassidy, could never be a bad distraction. When we had a minute, you were there for me to talk to; when we took breaks to eat or drink coffee, you were there. When I felt like I needed to take a step back from the case to clear my head, then go back in fresh, you were there. Now I’m home, and you’re here. Honestly, I can’t remember a time in my life when I was as happy as I’ve been since this last Wednesday. ”
My heart was pounding and the butterflies in my stomach were full force, which I was starting to think was the norm when it came to Connor. I let my fingers brush under his eyes, having just noticed the dark circles there. “You need to sleep, Connor,” I whispered.
“I will. ” His lips brushed against my wrist and I actually had to force down a whimper. “Is it okay if I change?”
I leaned away from him. “How long have you been home?”
He pulled me back and rested his forehead against mine again. “Long enough to take my jacket off. ”
“Connor—”
“Cass, seriously. ” He chuckled and lifted his head, only to press his body closer to mine. “When you called twenty minutes ago, I floored it to get home because I knew you were going to be right behind me. ” His deep voice dropped even lower when he continued. “I wish I could come back to this every time. ”
My breaths started coming quicker and my eyes dropped to his lips before I could force them down to the knot in his tie. How was it possible to be so completely in love with someone but have this kind of a connection and chemistry with someone else at the same time? I’d felt this connection the moment I’d first seen him almost four years ago, but I hadn’t had Gage at that time. To have it come back instantly while with Gage was incredibly confusing. I don’t know when my hands had dropped to his neck, but I slid them to his tie and focused on undoing the knot and slowly sliding it off. Connor didn’t move once, he just continued to stare at me. I looked down at the tie in my hands, then over to the dining room table, where his jacket sat on one of the chairs. He released me and walked over to the table with me right behind him. I laid the tie on top of the jacket as he started taking things off his belt and putting them on the table. Handcuffs, badge, phone, gun.
“Do you have a minute?” he asked as he began unbuttoning his black shirt. All I could do was nod as he shrugged it off. “Can I go take a shower first?”
“S-sure,” I stuttered when my eyes snapped back to his.
His hand trailed down my arm to squeeze my hand before he grabbed the shirt, coat, and tie with one hand and turned away. Before he was out of my line of sight, his other hand caught the back of his undershirt’s collar and he pulled it over his head, revealing his lean, muscled back and arms. And I had no doubt he did that on purpose.
Connor was back five or so minutes later, hair dark and messy from the shower, a gray fitted shirt and another pair of faded jeans on that I would bet were made just for him. “You want coffee?” When I shook my head, he leaned against a side wall smiling at me. “So what’s brought you here?”
I twisted my dad’s ring nervously and bit my lip to try to hide my grin but fa
iled. “I want to show you something. ” I’d straightened my hair and thrown it up in a high ponytail so you could see the exposed part of my back easily, and with the loose, thin material of the shirt, it wouldn’t be hard to move it out of the way to show the entire thing. With another smile toward Connor, I turned so my back was facing him, then looked over my shoulder at him to see his reaction.
The day after coffee with Connor, I’d gone to get a tattoo of a phoenix starting at the top of my right shoulder, covering part of my shoulder blade, and going toward the center of my back and ending at my waist. It had taken forever, but it was colorful and beautiful. I loved it; it wasn’t just to honor my dad, it was a way to always remind me of my mom’s sacrifice. She may have been thirteen years too late, and it may have been something I would have tried so hard to stop her from doing, but it’s what she needed to do for herself and for me. It was the only gift she thought she could give me, and in some sick, twisted way, I understood.
“A phoenix?” His lips twitched up at the corners and he took the few steps up to me to move the piece of material going down the middle of my back. “Damn, this is really good,” he said softly, and trailed a finger down my shoulder blade.
Goose bumps and a shiver spread over my body and I watched as his pale blue eyes darkened as they locked with mine. “You’re going to have to forgive me, Cassidy. ”
In a move so fast I could hardly comprehend it, he turned my body so I was facing him, lifted me so my legs were around his waist, and had my back against the entryway wall, his mouth on mine and moving aggressively. The tip of his tongue lightly traced my bottom lip and I shivered again.
My mouth opened for him, and we both moaned when our tongues touched. My body was at war with itself. I was hating myself and craving Gage but enjoying this strange connection with Connor.
“Connor, stop,” I said breathlessly. One hand was grabbing a fistful of his wet hair, the other had his shirt clenched in it. Forcing both of them to relax their hold, I repeated myself even though he had stopped and currently had his forehead against my collarbone. “Stop. ”
From Ashes Page 47