Collected Poems

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Collected Poems Page 7

by Roger McGough


  should be the only one

  who knows what he’s doing

  13

  you’re afraid of the BIG BAD DARK

  which loiters in our room

  the night it prowls about the yard

  the wind howls in distress

  a peepingtom moon at the window

  waits for the table to undress

  it’ll soon be tomorrow

  there’s nothing to fear

  you whisper ‘never leave me’

  then

  put your

  tongue

  in my ear

  14

  sometimes at dawn you awake

  and naked creep across our orangeroom

  and drawing aside

  our prettyyellowcurtains

  gaze at the neatroofed horizon

  of our littletown

  waiting for the sun

  screaming with dull pain

  to rise like a spark

  from a crematorium chimney

  then you pitterpad back to bed

  your head aflame with fear

  you lie in my arms

  and you lie:

  ‘i’m happy here

  so happy here’

  15

  KNOCK KNOCK

  shhhhh…

  dont open it

  it can only be…

  the ENEMY!!

  16

  It’s got to be done

  to be done right away

  monika dont argue

  do as i say

  i’ve put out the milkman

  and wound up the maid

  its well after midnight

  so dont be afraid

  yes leave the light on

  theres so much to see

  now monika fetch the razorblade

  and lie next to me

  17

  you are so very beautiful

  i cannot help admiring

  your eyes so often sadnessful

  and lips so kissinspiring

  i think about my being-in-love

  and touch the flesh you wear so well

  i think about my being-in-love

  and wish you were as well

  as well

  and wish you were as well

  18

  i often have the feeling

  that when tidying the flat

  you are not thinking

  of shoes, newspapers

  and trivia like that

  but of a skullwhite building

  where all the inmates

  talk poetry to scrambled eggs

  and whistle at operatingtable legs

  a home for Incurable Romantics

  a place to end my days

  you will surely have me committed

  i must rise and mend my ways

  19

  away from you

  i feel a great emptiness

  a gnawing loneliness

  with you

  i get that reassuring feeling

  of wanting to escape

  20

  you dont say anything

  but your eyes tell me

  that my standing naked

  to seduce the moon

  and my crying because

  she walked right past

  is sadly symptomatic

  of a fatal attack of

  ‘push your icy fingers

  into my brain

  its so hot and lonely here’

  21

  when the hadtohappen time came

  and you quit our hadbeenhappy bed

  you pulled the blankets o’er my head

  and left me on my sadandlonely own

  now i listen darkly to the memory of your smell

  and wonder when the sun will melt the storm

  our love is like a kitten in a well

  the death of something young and softlywarm

  the death of something of uncertainform

  22

  last sundaymorning

  when holypictures

  fluttered

  on dusty church floors

  when dockers snored

  and mams went heavy

  on the gravy browning

  you got out of bed

  and picking up a hatchet

  whose name was

  ‘iloveyoubutwecantgo

  onlikethis’

  you murdered me

  brutifully

  then with my tears

  still singing

  on your hands

  you went to your mothers

  for telly and a liedown

  23

  you are a woman of many faces

  and the one that suits you best

  i fear

  is the one you wear when i’m not here

  for when you wear your marriage face

  boredom lounges round the place

  24

  you should never have said that

  now

  your smiles are whiteelephants

  and your face a photograph

  to be come across

  some slow brown sunday

  you should never have said that

  your tongue is a mother without pity

  now

  love is gone

  andanonymous

  like the death of a bird in a city

  25

  we endure cold days and nights

  out on the moors

  though we dont like the

  countryside at all

  but by spending all our time

  out of doors

  we dont have to see the

  writing on the wall

  26

  monika your soups getting cold

  its cream of chicken too

  why are you looking at me like that

  why have your lips turned blue?

  we simply cant go on like this

  fighting tooth and nail

  why are you looking at me like that

  why has your face grown pale?

  youre enough to drive a man insane

  go completely off his head

  why are you looking at me like that

  why has your dress gone red?

  the only thing i’m sorry about

  is that we came to blows

  why are you looking at me like that

  have i got crumbs on my nose?

  alright, i’m sorry i hit you so hard

  but nexttime do as youre told

  why are you looking at me like that

  monika your soups getting cold

  27

  your finger

  sadly

  has a familiar ring

  about it

  28

  where have the sunshine breakfasts gone?

  orange juice and bacon

  the morning kiss and toothpastesmile

  you seem to have forsaken

  now its greasy grimaces

  eggs fried stormyside up

  burnt threats and curdled anger

  tears in a dirty cup

  29

  you have gone

  you say forever,

  and i hear nothing

  but the clatter of old leaves on stone floors

  30

  the sky has nothing to say

  and the scaffoldings are full of dead birds

  the moon has passed away

  and the wind has tears in its eyes

  now even the policemen have gone home

  and scattered like memories old and worn

  the litter

  has

  inherited

  the dawn

  31

  sitting alone

  with my bottle of sauce

  KNOCK KNOCK

  ‘who’s there?’

  noone of course

  32

  once upon a love

  we spent our nights

  blowing kisses across

  the pillow

  now we spend them

 
throwing plates across the kitchen

  33

  don’t think i’m moaning

  or trying to protest

  but do you really need

  another new dress?

  why not smile

  its cheaper and just as pretty

  34

  … and when Death comes in

  with his zip undone

  you’ll give in

  as you’ve always done…

  35

  lastnight

  was your night out

  and just before you went

  you put your SCOWLS

  in a tumbler

  half filled with steradent

  (so that they’d keep nice and fresh for me)

  36

  said i trusted you

  spoke too soon

  heard of your affair

  with the maninthemoon

  say its allover

  then if you’re right

  why does he call

  at the house everynight?

  37

  i have a war on my hands

  each night i lie awake

  and snipe at terrorists

  who run naked

  through the steaming jungles

  of your dreams

  i am on your side

  but you dont care

  you are asleep and unaware

  of my futile heroics

  my fear is that one night

  i might fall asleep

  and you will be captured

  my sorrow is that you probably wouldn’t mind

  (why else keep a white flag under the pillow?)

  38

  once i paid the piper

  and called the tune

  but one afternoon

  returning home

  earlier than usual

  i found you in bed

  with the piper

  you called the last waltz

  and now i dance sadly

  out of your life

  1–2-3

  1–2-3

  1–2-3

  39

  i wanted

  my castle in the air

  but it vanished

  without trace

  i wanted

  my pie in the sky

  but you gave it me

  in the face

  40

  monika who’s been eating my porridge

  while i’ve been away

  my quaker oats are nearly gone

  what have you got to say?

  someone’s been at my whisky

  taken the jaguar keys

  and monika, another thing

  whose trousers are these?

  i love and trust you darling

  can’t really believe you’d flirt

  but there’s a strange man under the table

  wearing only a shirt

  there’s someone in the bathroom

  someone behind the door

  the house is full of naked men

  monika! don’t you love ME anymore?

  41

  monika the teathings are taking over!

  the cups are as big as bubblecars

  they throttle round the room

  tinopeners skate on the greasy plates

  by the light of the silvery moon

  the biscuits are having a party

  they’re necking in our breadbin

  thats jazz you hear from the saltcellars

  but they don’t let nonmembers in

  the eggspoons had our eggs for breakfast

  the saucebottle’s asleep in our bed

  i overheard the knives and forks

  ‘it won’t be long’ they said

  ‘it won’t be long’ they said.

  42

  it all started yesterday evening

  as i was helping the potatoes

  off with their jackets

  i heard you making a date

  with the kettle

  i distinctly

  heard you making a date

  with the kettle

  my kettle

  then at midnight

  in the halflight

  while i was polishing the bluespeckles

  in a famous soappowder

  i saw you fondling

  the fryingpan

  i distinctly

  saw you fondling the frying

  my frying pan

  finally at middawn

  in the halfnight

  while waiting in the coolshadows

  beneath the sink

  i saw you makinglove

  with the gascooker

  i distinctly

  saw you makinglove

  with the gascooker

  my gascooker

  my mistake was to leapupon you crying

  ‘MONIKA THINK OF THE SAUCERS!’

  for now i’m alone

  you having left me for someone

  with a bigger kitchen

  43

  in october

  when winter the lodger the sod

  came a-knocking at our door

  i set in a store

  of biscuits and whisky

  you filled the hotwaterbottle with tears

  and we went to bed until spring

  in april

  we arose

  warm and smelling of morning

  we kissed the sleep from eachothers eyes

  and went out into the world

  and now summer’s here again

  regular as the rentman

  but our lives are now more ordered more arranged

  the kissing wildly carefree times have changed

  we nolonger stroll along the beaches of the bed

  or snuggle in the longgrass of the carpets

  the room nolonger a world for makebelieving in

  but a ceiling and four walls that are for living in

  we nolonger eat our dinner holding hands

  or neck in the backstalls of the television

  the room nolonger a place for hideandseeking in

  but a container that we use for eatandsleeping in

  our love has become

  as comfortable

  as the jeans you lounge about in

  as my old green coat

  as necessary

  as the change you get from the milkman

  for a five pound note

  our love has become

  as nice

  as a cup of tea in bed

  as simple

  as something the baby said

  monika

  the sky is blue

  the leaves are green

  the birds are singing

  the bells are ringing

  for me and my gal

  the suns as big as an icecream factory

  and the corn is as high as an elephant’s

  i could go on for hours about the beautiful

  weather we’re having but monika

  they dont

  make summers

  like they

  used to…

  Summer with the Monarch

  The Queen came up to Liverpool

  To dine at our Town Hall

  In the evening wrote to her husband

  ‘Dear Philip, I’m having a ball

  I think I’ll hang around

  I mean everything’s happening here

  I’m beginning to dig the poetry scene

  And the ale, as they say, is the gear.’

  So while she was having a castle built

  Down in Castle Street

  She had a look round Liverpool 8

  Found a pad there, small but neat

  She moved in a few belongings

  Corgis, crown, a throne

  And blueblood in the neighbourhood

  Really raised the tone

  Soon Her Majesty was caught up

  In the bohemian social whirl

  Our gracious teenybopper

  Everybody’s girl

  I met her at a party


  Somewhere in Norris Green

  I was just a layabout

  And she was queen of the scene

  But love knows no class barriers

  As you well rightly know

  And as I’d had a few that night

  I thought I’d have a go

  We had a couple of dances

  As a matter of fact we raved

  And when I asked ‘Can I take you home?’

  She simply smiled and waved

  And she told me next morning

  ‘I’ll never love another

  I’ve always fancied weirdos

  I appoint you Royal Lover.’

  The same day we decided

  To set the social pace

  And once we’d laced our sneakers

  There was noone in the race

  We’d go everynight to the alehouse

  Throw down a few black ’n’ tans

  She’d roll a joint in the Ladies

  And we’d crawl back home on our hands

  Our world was mad and frenzied

  The sun refused to set

  Our joy seemed neverending

  A life of fun – and yet

  Happiness is mis-shaped

  As I was soon to learn

  For now this little story

  Takes on a sadder turn

  For the Establishment was angry

  And to everyone’s surprise

  Her husband and the Prime Minister

  Were planning her demise

  They kidnapped her one morning

  While I was still in bed

  Took her to the Tower

  And chopped off her head

  now sadly i remember

  with tears for company

  how i spent summer with the monarch

  and

  the monarch

  spent summer

  with me.

 

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