"He told me..."
Selena straightened and looked him in the eye; "Yes, I know exactly what you say he told you. You yelled it at me in the coffee shop. Remember that? He says you made it all up. Why would you do that?" She throws a hand up, “Wait, it doesn’t even matter why. Look, you don’t owe me any explanations and I don’t want them. So what exactly do you want?” I didn’t realize how mad at him I am. But he has no right to just walk back into my life like this.
He stepped back.
“What? He.. But..Ugh..Ok. I don’t know what is going on here, but obviously, I should have talked to you instead of just angrily accusing you of things. It was wrong of me, and I should have been better.”
"You're damn right you should have. You should have known better than to think I would run around. I never did! All this time there hasn't been anyone else." She clapped a hand over her own mouth, shit! I didn't mean to tell him that!
"No one? All this time? Selena?" He started to put his hands on her shoulders but thought better of it and dropped them to his sides, "Selena, look at me please."
She raises her eyes, if he is laughing at me I am gonna zap his ass into next week.
"There hasn't been anyone for me all this time either."
Dammit. “That is not my concern, and I am so not interested. I haven’t had time to find anyone else. The single mom life is busy. Do you want to meet Kya? It will have to be quick, because I have things to do that don’t include standing here with you all day.”
"Yes please."
She walks with him over to Kya's door and unfastens her seat belt, lifting her out and settling her on her hip. "Kya I want you to meet your father."
Kya looks at him, curious. He stuck a hand toward her as if to shake her hand. Kya was having none of it, she snuggled closer to her mother. Selena set Kya back in the truck, turning to face him again.
Kya didn't even know this guy. She was not about to be shaking hands with a stranger that obviously made her mom unhappy. He watched as she buckled herself back into her seat.
"She doesn't like strangers overmuch, and I don't force her to touch people she doesn't feel comfortable touching."
His mouth tightened into a grim line.
“You don’t get to be upset that she doesn’t know you, that was your choice.”
I have got to keep myself together. Just a little bit longer, then I can be away and he will never know how much he just creeps me out now. I can freak out later when the kids have gone to bed. Was he always sloppy mayo looking? Good night, I had bad taste if he was. The fuck did I see in this guy?
Shutting Kya's door and walking round to her own she tells him, "Ok, well, call me sometime, and we can set it up so that you can visit with Kya. Here," as she hands him a card from her truck, "that has my number and my email."
With that, she got in the truck and left as fast as she could without appearing to be running from the law. Kya asks, "Mama, who is he? Why is he here? Is he going to stay and be my dad? Will I have to call him dad?"
"No baby, you don't have to call him dad if you don't want to, I don't think he has earned the right to dictate to you. I don't know that he will stay, but it is likely that you will see him again now that he knows about you. He said he was here on leave sweetling, he’s in the army. So I suppose he came to visit people he knows. He grew up here too, we were a couple a long time ago."
Kya and the two that had been avidly listening exchanged looks that said they would all be discussing this at home...
He stood there watching Selena drive away. Rethinking all the things he believed about her. Which appeared to all be completely unfounded. Had he been that much of an idiot? She had always seemed to get along well with her father? Why would he lie to both of them? It didn’t make any sense. He needed to talk to some people. He would start with Dwayne. Since they spoke yesterday and he never said anything in all this time about the existence of his daughter.
He sends Dwayne a text asking if they could meet up, but no reply. He walks slowly back to the car with his hands in his pockets.
Just as he starts the car to leave, Dwayne texts back, asking if morning would be good because Dwayne has a date. He replies, "great, your place then, in the morning."
4
The next morning Gabriel pulls into Dwayne's drive a little after 10. Dwayne opens the door shirtless in a pair of shorts and waves him in, returning to the kitchen to finish making coffee. As he walks in Dwayne is filling the pot and asks if he would like some coffee.
"Yeah man, that would be great." Gabriel sits down at the kitchen table.
"Ok, so what's up? You need cream or anything?"
"No, I like it black. I saw Selena yesterday. At the park."
Dwayne freezes in the middle of getting coffee cups from the cabinet.
He slowly sets both cups down and turns to look at him, rolling his suddenly tight shoulders. "Gabriel, you're my friend. I love you like you were my blood. But you hurt that woman again, go in and screw up her life being stupid;" shaking his head, "I can't have it man. She has a good life now, even though you ditched her like that. I told her I wouldn't say anything to you, unless you brought it up. You brought her up and man, that was so much garbage. You don't treat people like that, ever. You damn sure don't treat people like that when they are faithful and pregnant with your child. You know her dad kicked her out?"
Putting his hands out in front of him and leaning back in his chair Gabriel says, "Whoa, hey, I'm not trying to do anything, I didn't know anything..."
"He did. And she took care of herself and Kya all by herself. Her dad showed up eventually and they made up. But you, you just accuse her of cheating and run off? Don't even try talking to her? Man, that was so messed up I didn't even want to admit to knowing you for a long time. You should be thoroughly grateful that she spoke up for you back then." Dwayne pushes a hand through his chestnut hair, shoving it back and leaving it pointing straight up in all directions.
"I swear to you, I didn't know she was pregnant! I came back and her dad told me she had left out to whore around. I didn't have any reason to not believe him." Dwayne rolls his eyes and turns back to the cups saying, ”You didn't have any reason not to believe her either. In fact, you had a bunch of reasons to believe her over her father. And why the hell weren’t you using protection? She was eighteen and you weren’t any older. Dumbass.”
"You're right. I am a dumbass." Gabriel holds his hands up in surrender, " I should never have believed her father. What happened between her and her dad? Why did he lie to me?"
"She told him she was pregnant with your child and he went crazy. Told her she couldn't have the child, went on about bloodlines and yours being low, told her that she couldn't stay there, hit her in the face. She went to stay with a friend till you got back, she just knew that when you got back the two of you would handle things. She was heartbroken when you told her off like that. But she took care of everything, and the whole time, was just on it. She got herself together, started a business and is doing really well. Now she is in a great place, and she smiles. She laughs. Not just for Kya, she always did for Kya. It just seemed like the rest of the world was gray for her for a long time. I don't want to see her hurt again. None of us do. That's why we haven't said anything to you about her all this time. We didn't want to see her hurt so bad ever again."
"Kya is my daughter. My flesh. You guys could have at least told me she existed." Gabriel folds his arms across his chest and glares like a child that has been told no cookies.
"For what?" Dwayne said angrily, "So you could come and accuse her of trying to spread lies about you? No. We all did what we felt was right. And we never lied to you or withheld information. You never said another word about her after that night at the cafe. You never once asked how she was, if she was doing all right, was she really cheating on you. Nothing."
"This is all my fault." Gabriel puts his head in his hands and does his best to look miserable for his actions. Dwayne finishes prepari
ng the coffees and brings them over to the table and sitting across from Gabriel.
Sliding a cup over to him, "Here. I’m glad you know that it was all your fault and that you are taking responsibility for it. Now, what are you going to do about it?"
Gabriel looks up at Dwayne with a most sorrowful expression, "Do? What can I do? I’m going to get to know Kya and be a part of her life, but I don't know that there is more that I can do. Why would Selena even want anything to do with me? I should kiss her feet for being willing to let me know my daughter."
"Yeah, you should."
"I don't know...She could have anyone. She really hasn't dated anyone else? "
"Maybe you are too dense for Kya. You certainly aren’t pretty enough for her. You be good to Kya and don't cause Selena any more grief, she deserves better. Who she has dated is not your business. You were not part of her life, remember? You walked away and never looked back. At this point, you should be glad she is such a good person and willing to let you be part of Kya’s life. You need to worry about being a father right now. Don’t go trying to get in Selena’s business.“
"Really? She said there hadn't been anyone..."
Dwayne shakes his head in disgust, ”And? What reason would she have to lie? I swear man, you have fewer brains now than when you enlisted. Are they feeding you wrong or just knocking the sense out of you? Mind your business, which is your dating life, not hers. It doesn’t matter if she has five people she is seeing, that isn’t your business.”
"Okay, okay. I told her it had been the same for me, that I haven't been with anyone in all this time. I told her that when I looked at them I would see something that reminded me of her. So I
didn't bother. It wasn’t all true, but they did resemble her." Gabriel tries a small smile, but Dwayne just glowers at him.
“You came in accusing her of some made up nonsense and you start out lying to her? After you were such a shit back then? I don’t know that you even deserve a chance at being Kya’s father if you are this dense.”
"Yeah, yeah. You don't have to rub it in. I need to fix this." Gabriel runs his hand through his the pale hair laying flat on his scalp, "How do I get her to even consider talking to me about it? I mean, seeing her had me so strung out I was afraid I was going to say something stupid."
"Why don't you try getting to know her and your daughter. Apologize if it comes up. If she asks what you were thinking back then. But I highly suggest you don't go in there thinking that you are going to pull some line and she falls into your arms. She is smarter than that, you don't deserve her, and this isn’t some cheesy romance novel. Selena has brains, opinions, and more sense than I think you are giving her credit for having.”
Gabriel rolls his eyes, "I know, I know..."
5
Later that night as Selena tries to sleep, she can’t help but remember how it was before Gabriel left for basic training. She remembers putting up her waist length dark hair for the date. She wore a little black dress that clung to her curves and minimal make-up, just some eye shadow and lip gloss. It never mattered much what she looked like just so long as she was with him. This was their last date till he finished basic training. He wanted to make it a fancy dinner thing, so that was what they would do because she wanted to spend time with him.
The intercom buzzed, a maid letting her know that he had arrived. She grabbed a pair of heels and her purse as she waltzed out the door and down the stairs to him. He was waiting for her in the entry, smoking hot with his crew cut white-blond hair and a body that didn’t yet fill out a suit. He didn’t have so much in the way of traditional looks but he had plenty of personality, and she had felt lucky to have him.
Now, laying in her bed alone, thinking about him just made her sad for what could have been and what was destroyed and at the same time lucky that she dodged that bullet. He seemed to still be in high school. Worse yet, he had lied and worked to destroy her relationship with her father? What did he have to gain from that? Why not just break up with her? Selena groaned and rolled over in her bed, whatever the reason is it would wait until tomorrow when she spoke with Linnette.
***
The next day, Selena watches the kids play while her mind runs unchecked down paths it hasn't looked at in a long time. She thinks of the time she spent with him in the past, glimpses of what was a possible future then mingle with shades of what could be now and replays of yesterday's meeting with him. Questions float through her mind. Is he the same guy? Should I still keep him at arm's length if he isn’t? I can't keep Kya away from him. Now that he knows about her that would be wrong. She pulls a little munchkin away from the fence she was climbing and absently sets her to running back toward the other two munchkins. What if he was different now? Should I give him a chance? If he is different, is he different in a good way? If so, maybe she should chase him! Her mind strays into the dangerous territory of how nice it would be to feel a man pressed against her, with a snort she shakes that thought out of her head just as she hears a car coming down the drive.
"Come on kidlets, let's get a treat!"
All three kids run to the door, stopping just before colliding with it. Selena opens the door and steps in after the children that have run through on their way to the table and their seats. Selena tells the kids to sit there as she goes to answer the door. Brighid, faithful guardian that she is, is sitting in front of the door, waiting patiently to greet the visitor. Linnette has come to get the two kids, telling Selena that she volunteered to pick up Dwayne's little and drop him by as she comes in the house.
Selena hugs her, "Oh do I need to talk to you. HE is here. Well, not here here. He is in town and he stopped us yesterday as we were leaving the park!"
"I... I actually knew he was in town, I didn't know he was going to seek you out..." Linnette shrugs, her blond hair flowing over her shoulder as it raises.
Selena stops, ”Oh. Well, I guess you guys would keep talking to him, it just didn't occur to me. I didn't think about it..." she shakes her head, "We definitely need to talk. How long have you got before you need to scram?"
"As long as you need. I'm in no rush today and I want some things made, so lots of time. Let me just text Dwayne and Hayden that I will be later."
"Great!" Selena says, hugging her again, this time in gratitude, "I just need to fix the kids a snack and we can send them outside with Brighid to mind them."
Brighid wags her whip of a tail and wanders out to the fenced area to wait for the kids via her door.
A little while later the kids have eaten and are outside, while Selena and Linnette sit at the table facing the sliding glass door watching the kids and talking in quiet voices.
Linnette covers Selena’s hand with her own, ”How are you doing? Seeing him after all this time?"
Selena gives Linnette’s hand a little squeeze, ”Honestly? I'm so shaken up I don't know what to think about it all. He seems just like he was before, only less healthy. But I don't know how great that is, he did just come in there spouting crazy nonsense about me cheating and lying about my Dad. I mean, who does that? Why would he lie about my Dad, my only family in the whole world? Knowing how important family is to me, he did that.”
"Yeah, he did. It was the shittiest thing I have ever seen him do. And, he never even asked about you in all these years."
"Right? It was like I quit existing in his world entirely. He never asked his parents either, they have a great relationship with Kya. They know their grandchild and he didn't even know she existed." Selena frowns, "I will let him try to get to know Kya. I owe her that. If it doesn't work, we will go from there. I know for sure that I am not at all interested in another relationship with him."
"That unappealing to you?"
Selena shudders, ”Yes. His face looks like, you know how mayo looks in the jar after you have already been using it? Really white, lumpy all over and just kind of gross if you think about it too much? That is how his face looks to me. And he has this sullen child vibe to him that reall
y worries me. I will let him try to be part of Kya's life, so long as he is good to her; but my heart is not part of the deal. I will have zero problems with it if I have to cut him off from her. She is my main concern. If he can't act like an adult, she doesn't need that in her life."
Linnette nods in agreement, ”Good. He really showed a major character defect back then, maybe he has changed or ..."
"That is what I am afraid of. It doesn't ease my concern at all that his parents didn't tell him anything. If anything, that intensifies my concern. I should ask them about it. I just assumed all this time that they were telling him things and he was uninterested."
"Good point. Why wouldn't they tell him?"
***
At a house in town...
A couple stands talking over a dark mirror set into a table circled with intricate carvings of angels and demons.
"We should have told him."
"No, I stand by my decision. I wish he hadn't seen her now. You know why."
"I do."
"I am pleased that she seems to be seeing right through him. Even with the bindings upon her."
"The binding began to unravel when she got pregnant, but if Gabriel could gain control of her daughter, he might be able to keep her docile and in the dark."
"The child fears him, he will never gain her trust enough to ensnare her. Selena's father will never allow it. He is highly involved in her life, even now."
"That may be his undoing. And our freedom from this hell."
***
6
Selena's kitchen
Selena stands at the counter creating healing teas while Linnette chats, telling her the latest news around town.
"He didn't!"
"He did! And she lost her mind over it and threw all his things out on the lawn. Vehemently! It was hilarious"
"Oh, that must have been. How did she find out?"
Selena Rose: Daughter of the Moon Page 2