by Juanita Kees
The raised ridges of her scars itched. She rubbed them against the silk of her dress. A long time ago, she would have taken a knife to them to stop the irritation, but she was better than that now.
By the time she reached the café dining room, the guests had started to filter in and Liv was guiding them to tables with the help of the wait staff. Bella’s daughter, Janet, waved hello and Fen waved back. John Bannister held court to one side with the mayor and a councilman. Virginia Turner herded a group of children off to one side, doing what she did best.
Fen’s heart still pounded, and her mind spun, despite her efforts to refocus her thoughts. She stopped to give Liv a quick hug, ground herself in knowing her mum was okay, still untouched by the ugliness of what had to come.
‘Is Liam okay, sweetheart? I heard him crying.’
‘He’s fine, Mum. He panicked a little when he couldn’t find Kieran. We had another visitor.’
‘Oh no, Fen!’ Worry backlit her eyes as she searched Fen’s face. ‘What happened?’
‘He left quietly when Kieran and Riggs came running. We need to talk, Mum. About the nightmares and how I came to be here.’
‘Oh, honey, of course we can. I’m not sure how much I can help though. All we were told is that your behaviour was partly due to long-term trauma and repressed memory. I don’t know much more than you do. But we’ll work through it together the way we’ve always done.’
‘I love you, Mum.’
Liv touched her cheek. ‘And I love you too, Fen. We’ll get through this, I promise.’
‘While we work through it, I want you to go somewhere safe until it’s over.’
Liv’s soft blue eyes flashed. ‘I will not. We fight whatever this is together. Murray left the winery to us. You and me. Equal shares. I didn’t abandon you at your worst times, darling, and I have no intention of abandoning you now. Riggs will make sure we’re safe.’
Doubt niggled again. ‘Can we truly trust him? Can we trust anyone?’
‘I have complete faith in Riggs. Murray trusted him, the town trusts him. He doesn’t give up until he finds justice. If you need proof of that, talk to Travis Bailey or Harley Baker or even our bride, Tameka.’
She didn’t need to. She’d witnessed the cases, watched them unfold, listened to the gossip around the tables at the high teas they’d hosted. But until she could find the trigger to release the memories of what happened behind Antoinette’s bedroom door that day, she’d question everything.
Fen kissed her mum’s cheek. ‘Let’s get this reception on the go. Tameka and Harley deserve our focus today. Tomorrow, I’ll do as Riggs has asked. It’s past time to lay the ghosts to rest.’
‘You’re a brave soul, my darling girl. I wish it hadn’t come to this. But together we’ll find out why it has and fix it.’ Liv hugged her hard. ‘Take over, would you love? I need to go and check in with the chef. It was so kind of John Bannister to lend us the mine site kitchen staff.’
Fen agreed. ‘And the cleaning staff who will come in later to help. I think he has a soft spot for you, Mum.’
Liv blushed, her palms to her cheeks to cool them. ‘Don’t be silly, sweetheart. Good Lord, he’s almost twenty years older than me.’
‘Old but not dead yet.’ She hugged Liv tight. ‘And you’re gorgeous. Who doesn’t love you?’
Liv smiled and handed her the list of table numbers and guest placements. ‘Stop it.’ She pressed a kiss to Fen’s cheek. ‘You look so beautiful in that dress, Fen. I’m so proud of you. And in case you hadn’t noticed, Kieran can’t keep his eyes off you.’
If only Liv knew the real reason he stood looking at her now with his son at his side and the little boy’s hand securely in his. ‘Not me, Liv. Janet.’
Fen watched as Bella’s daughter snagged Kieran’s attention. Stunning in a red velvet dress that ended mid-thigh and complemented her long, dark hair and Italian heritage, the pre-school teacher re-introduced herself to Kieran and made her acquaintance with Liam. Fen pushed back the stab of jealousy. Janet was a lovely girl and far better suited for Kieran than she was. Stable, loved kids, single with no backstory or baggage, a great cook and an active CWA member, she’d be the perfect wife and mother.
Turning her attention back to the guests and the seating arrangements, she blocked out the peripheral scene of the two laughing together, rekindling an old acquaintance that had the potential and freedom to lead to more. If it didn’t hurt so much, Fen would cheer them on and encourage it.
‘She’s not for him, pixie face. You are.’ Harry Murchison’s gnarled hand lifted the pen from her hand and he ticked his own name off the list against table two.
‘You’re the only man for me, Harry.’
‘Bullshit. But if I was a hundred years younger …’
‘You wouldn’t be born.’ She took back her pen. ‘Behave yourself. Do I need to show you to your table?’
‘Can find it myself.’ He looked at her, his eyes watery, old and confused. ‘I know a good match when I see one. Janine and Murphy aren’t it.’
‘Janet,’ she reminded him. Sometimes it was hard to believe he had Alzheimer’s. Other times, when his look grew vacant and his thoughts muddled, she wished she’d known Harry in his youth. That she could go back and change whatever it was in his genes that brought the disease with it.
‘Janine, Janet … doesn’t matter. Only name he needs to know is yours.’
And with that, he hobbled away as the next guests stepped up to take his place, their knowing smiles proving that they’d heard every word.
Travis Bailey grinned down at her from his six-foot-plus height from under the shock of white fringe that contrasted his blond hair. ‘Never argue with Harry. The old bugger has a gift for it.’
‘He has a gift for something, that’s for sure.’ Fen met the warm brown eyes of Travis’ wife. ‘Hi, Heather. I hope you’re keeping this beast tamed.’
‘I’m giving it my shot.’ She winked.
Fen smiled. Heather Bailey was a lot nicer, warmer than her predecessor, Martha Wallace, who’d been colder than an arctic wind. ‘Good to hear.’
‘Maybe when this is all over, we can catch up for a coffee?’
‘That would be lovely, thank you. You’re on table two with Harry. Enjoy.’
As they walked away and she welcomed the next guests, Fen wished more than ever that life could be normal and hell didn’t wait in the wings to wreak havoc on the town if she couldn’t bring Luke to justice.
Chapter 9
Fen looked up from her clipboard as the last of the guests made their way to their seats. He couldn’t begin to imagine how shaken she must be after her run-in with that arsehole outside. He tried to concentrate on his conversation with Janet and not think about what might have happened if he hadn’t followed Fen out the door.
‘Thanks, Janet. I’ll bring Liam by one morning next week to see how he goes.’
Kieran shook the school teacher’s hand and hoped that kindy would be as good for Liam as she hoped. Liam’s eyes had lit up at the mention of Benji and Casey, two of the kids closest to his age. Both were here today, as Janet had pointed out, and no doubt by the end of the evening Liam would have met them at least once.
Kids could be cruel and Kieran wasn’t convinced that Liam was ready for the schoolyard just yet. He’d considered home-schooling as an option but juggling a day job and school duties would be difficult when it came to meeting departmental requirements. And sooner or later, Liam would have to learn to socialise again. He’d been doing so well at playgroups and day-care back in Sydney. Until life as they’d known it had ended up in a cold and swollen river.
How would the kids at school cope with Liam’s volatile behaviour, tantrums triggered by a fear only he could see? Who would hold him close and bring him down if he wasn’t there to do it? It wouldn’t be fair to lay that responsibility at Janet’s feet in a classroom that consisted of children of mixed ages as most small-town schools did. She’d have enough on her hands.
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Liam tugged on his hand. ‘Don’t wanna go to stupid school.’
And the quiver of his lip suggested he hadn’t recovered fully from his earlier meltdown, so Kieran searched for a distraction. ‘Would you like to see if Fen needs help with anything?’
‘K.’ Liam’s face brightened.
Together they crossed the room. This close, he could see the shadows forming under Fen’s eyes that spoke of the troubled thoughts churning behind her smile. No doubt about it, the incident outside had her unsettled. Jesus, it had him in knots. If he hadn’t spotted that idiot … Damn it, the outcome could have been very different. God only knew what the man was capable of or what exactly he’d had in mind to do with Fen.
Too many witnesses though. He’d have been an idiot to try anything more serious than deliver his message. At least the colour had come back into her face now. He couldn’t afford to think about his own reaction to seeing her manhandled like that. If he did, he’d have to admit that he still cared for her. More than he should. More than he deserved to.
Kieran stepped closer to Fen. ‘Need help with anything? Liam and I appear to be at a loose end now all the guests are seated.’
Fen placed her clipboard on the table near the door. ‘The wedding party will be coming in soon. We have a table near the kitchen where I can keep an eye on things. Why don’t you two take a seat. Liv is supervising in the kitchen and it will be chaos in there, so not a good place to be in case there are accidents.’ She looked down at Liam and then up at Kieran. A smile of understanding crossed her lips and he thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d seen all day. ‘I know what you can do for me. I’m going to be stuck here for a while before I can take a break and Lucky will be getting hungry.’
‘Who’s Lucky?’ Liam’s face lit with curiosity, all fears forgotten.
‘Lucky is my bearded dragon. Do you know what that is?’
‘Uh-huh. It’s a big lizard with spiky things on its head.’ Liam demonstrated with his hands.
‘That’s right. He’s only a baby so he needs to eat a lot while he’s growing. Do you think you could feed him some crickets for me?’
Enthusiasm had Liam hopping from foot to foot. ‘Yeah! Live crickets?’
Fen nodded. ‘You’ve got to be quick though otherwise the crickets will hop away.’
And she’d be chasing them around her room trying to recapture them all if he wasn’t. Kieran grimaced.
‘Think you can do that?’ Fen held out her hand to shake on it.
‘Yeah! How many crickets?’ Liam shook her hand with vigorous enthusiasm.
‘Can you count to ten?’
‘Of course I can!’ He held up both hands, fingers stretched out.
‘Lucky will be very happy. If you talk to him while you feed him, he might show you his beard.’
‘Does he bite?’ Uncertainty niggled at Kieran. Trusting Liam to make paper boats was one thing. Trusting him with your pet lizard was another mission entirely. He had visions of punctured fingers, a trip to Wongan Creek’s emergency department and tetanus injections.
‘No, he’s very docile.’
‘What’s docile mean?’ Liam tugged on Fen’s dress.
‘Harmless, gentle. You can give him some carrots and cabbage too. Just a little bit.’
‘Why?’
‘Because he’s only a baby and he needs more insects than veggies right now.’
‘K. Can we go now, Daddy?’
‘Sure can, mate. Are you sure about this, Fen?’ Kieran hoped he sounded convincing. How much trouble could a baby bearded dragon be?
‘Of course. His food is next to his enclosure in my room.’
‘Your bedroom?’ Jesus, the last time he’d been in that room they were fifteen and he’d been wrapping bandages around her wrists to stop the bleeding.
Fen straightened to look at him. ‘Yes. Something wrong with that?’
‘Isn’t it unhealthy?’
‘His enclosure is cleaner than most houses. It has to be that way.’
Kieran shivered. ‘What if he escapes during the night?’ Waking up to a lizard crawling across his face wasn’t his idea of fun.
Liam laughed, a sound that warmed Kieran’s heart. ‘Are you afraid of Lucky, Daddy?’
‘You know, I think your dad might be.’ Fen’s eyes twinkled with mischief and it gave his heart a whole new exercise regime. ‘You might have to hold his hand while you’re feeding Lucky, okay? I’d hate for him to scare my dragon.’
‘I’ll look after him and the dragon, Fen. I promise. Come on, Daddy. We don’t want Lucky to get too hungry.’
Kieran wasted another few moments watching Fen walk away, catching the smile before she turned her head and focused on the tasks ahead. He was about to get a whole new look into the life of the girl who’d once hidden behind bandages and over-sized black hoodies.
Liam tugged at his hand. ‘Don’t worry, Daddy. You’ll be safe with me.’
He tore his gaze away from Fen and focused on his son. ‘Of course I will, mate. Let’s go.’
Together they headed for the main house. Built on top of the gentle slope that ran up from the cellar building, the house had the advantage of a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree view. Kieran took a moment to run his hands across the hand-crafted kaolinitic sandstone with a nod to the skill of the stonemasons. No-one built houses like this anymore. The wraparound verandah cast shade around the house, shielding it from the baking heat of the sun. The old tin roof had been restored recently, providing a fresh grey backdrop for the row of three dormer windows facing the vines and the shadowy shapes of the Whispering Hills.
The middle window was Fen’s room. He remembered when they’d first arrived in town, how many times she’d escaped through that window and slipped down the roof, away and into the night. The frantic calls for help from Liv and Muzz because Kieran was the only one who could talk her out of running away again.
But all that had changed, and she’d settled down, as he had, into life in Wongan Creek. She’d no longer needed him to bandage her wrists or rub salve on the welts on her arms or rescue her in the middle of the night out on a road somewhere in the dark. Instead, Diane had needed him more. The boy from the Brabham housing project, who’d never been needed before, had been torn between the two girls he loved.
In the end, he’d been forced to make the choice and he’d chosen the weakest of the two, knowing full well Fen would survive. But it hadn’t made him love her any less, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by Diane. A flaw she’d raised at every opportunity, using Fen as an excuse to drive a wedge between them. To drive herself to the edge and over. And the blame lay squarely with him. For that he’d never forgive himself. Because if he hadn’t weakened and started that email to Fen, Diane would never have found it and she might still be alive.
‘Is it okay to go inside, Daddy?’ Liam placed a hand on the jarrah hardwood front door with the polished brass knocker and handle.
‘Of course it is, mate. We have permission from Fen, remember?’
‘Do you know which room hers is?’
‘Up the stairs in the corner, to the left and it’s the second door you come to.’
They pushed open the front door and stepped inside. The first thing that struck Kieran was that everything was the same. Nothing had changed in the years he’d been away. A vase of fresh flowers still adorned the nineteenth-century hall table. The house still smelled like vanilla and cinnamon and freshly squeezed lemons.
The warm, welcoming feel still hung in the air and no doubt, the fire in the lounge room hearth would still be burning softly, ready to be stoked up when Fen and Liv came home after a long day at work. The only one missing was Muzz, the lack of television noise and weekend football a silence that echoed down the hallway.
Kieran reflected for a moment on the twinge of regret that he’d never got to say goodbye to the man who’d been a stoic force behind his rehabilitation from troubled teen to responsible husband and father. So much yet so
little had changed here. He turned his attention back to his son.
Liam climbed the stairs cautiously, stopping to check that Kieran was right behind him. A boy heading into an unknown adventure, full of expectation and excitement. Exactly what he wanted to see more of in his son. To recapture the adventurous spirit he’d once been.
They found her room and Liam raced to the corner where Lucky lounged on a rock inside his glass enclosure next to Fen’s desk. In the plastic tub next to it, crickets chirped and leaped about, trying to escape their fate. Time to show his son how to catch a cricket.
‘Look, Daddy! His beard is out.’
True enough, Lucky’s beard spread wide, his mouth open in expectation. Or warning. Crickets he could handle. Bearded dragons? The jury was still out on that one. ‘Okay, so how did Fen say we do this again?’
‘Pick up a tube from the tub. There’ll be crickets inside.’
‘Right. And shake it into the enclosure, right?’
‘Right. Can I do it?’
‘We have to be quick or they might escape.’ The thought made Kieran shudder.
‘We’ve got this, Dad.’
And suddenly his four-year-old sounded a lot more grown-up than he did. Kieran smiled as he lifted the lid on the tub and Liam reached in for a cardboard tube filled with creatures that made his skin crawl. The transfer took place thankfully without incident and Liam watched, fascinated, as Lucky began to hunt and catch his dinner.
Kieran’s gaze fell on a folder lying on the desk next to the tub of crickets. Stapled to the front was a business card with a police case number scribbled on it, a harsh reminder of the trouble that dogged Fen. A reality that had the potential to touch them all, do damage, threaten lives. Like the woman whose body had been dumped in the fire, her identity and the reason she’d been there still a mystery.
A damn good reason for him to take his son somewhere safe and out of harm’s way. Motivation to stay and fight alongside the friend who’d been there for him over and over, long before he’d married Diane. A dilemma that would keep him awake while he watched his son sleep and tried to think of a way to help Fen and Liv without putting his child’s life and emotional recovery at risk to keep his promise to the girl who’d always owned his heart.