His eyes lit up, but he played it cool.
“We might,” he mused. “You play?”
I winked and said, “I win.”
That definitely won him over.
Charlie squealed in happiness. Dozer quietly stole his soda back from Charlie while she was distracted. Cash had his eyes back on his guitar, and was keeping himself busy tuning it.
Glitch stood and stretched. He threw his arms out and said, “Alright! This is great! Now that we have everything settled, I'm starving. We got any food in here?"
"We have stuff for personal pizzas," Charlie chimed in.
"Let's do this thing!" Glitch howled and we all piled into the kitchen area, where Charlie and Dozer set up all the ingredients. Dozer grated a huge pile of mozzarella, Charlie and I cut up the veggies while Glitch and Headset sauced the pre-made pizza crusts. Cash rolled open the barn doors and turned on the outdoor lights so we could eat and look out at the beach. It was a perfect night for it. I was glad they didn't want to head back to the main town. I was feeling pretty run down by that point, and I didn't want to fend off anyone else's emotions.
Headset took it upon himself to help me create my pizza, but Charlie made sure that Headset and Glitch stayed clear of the oven. It appeared she knew Glitch as well as I did.
They asked a lot of questions about me. There were some questions that I had perfectly normal answers for. Then there were a few I needed to gloss over quickly. For the most part, they understood that I didn't want to talk about my power or my family. However, when it came to Glitch stories, I was not permitted to hold back. I was just about to tell them about the time Lexa and I hid Glitch's clothes while he was in the shower. He was forced to search for them wearing a pair of Lexa's sleep shorts with the word juicy stamped across the butt.
"No, no, no, no! You don't get to tell that story, Liv!" Glitch's face flushed bright red. He playfully jammed his fist on the bar and pointed at me. "So help me, I will tell them about your boy band phase."
"My lips are sealed." I made the motion of zipping up my mouth and went back to my pizza.
"Can Liv be a Nomad, too?" Headset asked as he pulled a long string of cheese from his slice and lowered it into his mouth.
Glitch lit up like a beacon. I could practically see the light bulb turn on in his brain.
“I think that sounds like a wonderful idea,” Charlie agreed sagely, reaching out to ruffle Headset's hair.
“She’s got my vote,” Dozer joined in, although it was said with a mouth full.
Cash looked to me, then. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I could feel him sizing me up, considering me.
“What do you mean, a Nomad?” I asked, shifting in my seat.
“It's what we call ourselves. We are always on the move. Nomads,” Cash nodded to everyone around the table. The pride that resonated from them warmed my chest.
“We all have our Nomad mark, except for Headset. That’ll have to wait till he’s old enough.” Charlie said, pulling down the collar of her shirt and revealing the compass on the back of her right shoulder.
“Ah, so that’s what the compass is all about,” I said, smirking.
“You don’t need to get the ink to join. It’s just a fun bonding thing we did,” Charlie said, squeezing my hand reassuringly. Then she raised her glass of water to the middle of the table and asked, “all in favor?”
Around the table, everyone raised their glasses and clinked them to hers. Charlie smiled at me brilliantly, her eyes turning to crescent moons as she smiled, radiating affection and love.
“I don’t know how long I’ll be around,” I said quietly then, feeling my throat close up a little. I was touched by their gesture and their acceptance, but I didn't know if I could or should stay. I knew Jason would never stop looking for me.
Cash interrupted the feverish racing of my mind. I was extremely thankful for it. My thoughts were beginning to spiral to a place I didn’t want them to go.
“Liv, we understand that. You have your own life. But for as long as you want to…as long as you need to, we’re here for you. I know I speak for everyone when I say, welcome to the Nomads.” He offered me a warm, earnest smile and I felt nervousness jump around in him, pushing his adrenaline a little faster. The only outward sign of it was the way his eyes locked on mine and didn’t let go.
I nodded and managed to thank them despite my emotions having a choke hold on my throat.
“Does that mean you’ll stay awhile?” Charlie prodded, hopeful.
I smiled as I raised my glass. “Yes. To the Nomads.”
A round of cheers circled the bar and glasses were clinked again.
“Well, you know what this means now, don’t you?” Glitch asked me. I shook my head. “We need a name for you.”
“I have a name,” I countered.
“Yeah, a boring one.”
I scowled, but let it slide.
“You know what I mean, Liv. You need a cool name like we all have. Dozer, Bubbles, Headset, Glitch…” He trailed off as he peered at me, carefully sizing me up. I arched a brow at him challenging.
"Oh, this is going to be good." Cash leaned backward and folded his arms behind his head.
“I’ve got it.” Glitch snapped his fingers and then pointed to me knowingly. “Mindfreak.”
Cash shook his head and said, “sorry to break it to you, but that magician guy already has Mindfreak.”
“Okay, well...how about The Feeeeeeler?” Glitch drew the word out, wiggling his fingers in the air.
“Ew. No,” I said, cringing.
“Why The Feeler?” Charlie asked curiously.
“It’s complicated,” I answered quickly. I wasn’t sure I wanted them to know that part about me yet.
“Oh! I’ve got it!” Glitch bounced in his seat, almost knocking down his glass of soda. “Kinetica!”
“Oh, I like that one,” Charlie gushed.
“It’s kinda cool,” Dozer agreed.
“Why can’t I just be Liv?” I asked.
“Um, hello? Because it’s boring. We've already been over this,” Glitch restated, earning a tiny glare from me.
“Okay, all I’m saying is a nickname shouldn’t be forced.”
“I agree,” Dozer spoke up, surprising me. It was one of the few times he’d done so on his own. Charlie gave him another warm, covert look, and he blushed.
Everyone agreed and Glitch was forced to give up the pursuit.
“Fine,” he grumbled. “But you can’t stop it forever.”
I nudged him playfully and he flicked my arm, just like old times.
I was starting to get a good feel for the dynamic of the Nomads. Cash was obviously the provider and the closest thing that any of them had to a father figure, although he was only twenty-five. Charlie mothered all the boys with loving dedication. She and Dozer had feelings for each other, but neither of them would admit to it. Glitch was like the fun uncle you had to watch out for, because sometimes he provoked bad behavior instead of discouraging it. Headset was protected and nurtured; the beloved baby of the family.
I loved watching them interact and bicker, with no spite between them, no animosity. They all looked out for one another, took care of each other, and after only a few hours of being around them, I already felt like one of them. I was wrapped up in the warmth of their bond, and for those moments we were together, my heart didn’t ache as much.
Chapter Three
I woke up to the sound of my phone buzzing again. It was a little after two in the morning. Charlie was snoring softly in her bed across the room, and I didn't want to wake her. I looked down at the phone and saw Jason's picture lit up on the screen. My thumb hovered over the screen before I finally decided to answer. I held the phone to my ear but didn't say a word.
"Liv?" Jason's voice came through, hopeful and desperate.
I still didn't speak.
"Liv?" he repeated, but something in his tone sounded like he knew I was there. "Please? Just talk to me."
I pulled in a deep shaking breath.
"I'm so sorry, Liv."
I felt the heat of tears welling in my eyes and my hands began to shake. I pictured the needle entering Tony’s head, and brushed my fingers over the bruises on my wrist, cringing as the pain grounded me again.
I hung up and turned off my phone.
I got up and leaned over my knees, taking deep, slow breaths to steady my racing heart. I couldn't go back to sleep. On top of my mind racing, my head was throbbing. I needed to get up and walk around. I needed to think...or stop thinking entirely.
I made my way down to the kitchen for a glass of water. It took some careful navigation to get through the toy-littered maze of the boys’ room. I somehow made it to the cold metal staircase and headed downstairs, immediately regretting my bare feet. The living room was silent and shadows danced along the walls. I felt uneasy standing there, amongst the dark silhouettes of their furniture. I could hear the wind blowing furiously outside. The Lair creaked and groaned like it was alive and experiencing a headache on par with my own.
I heard the gentle strum of a guitar and a voice that pulled me toward the little room off the kitchen.
As I suspected, it had definitely been a pantry at some point. There was an entire wall of shelving, and the floor was made up of large ceramic tiles for easy cleanup. There were tiny windows that ran along the top of the back wall, but it didn't let much light in.
My eyes zeroed in on a touch of something familiar, a touch of comfort. A string of lights was draped over the back wall, bathing the space in a soft green glow.
The rest of the room was cozy. There were three guitars pegged to the walls with care. There were a few abstract paintings, and the shelves were filled with little trinkets that reminded me of the sculptures in the Perch. My heart gave a painful little kick and I tore my eyes away from the shelves, and my mind away from the memories.
Off in the far corner, a queen-sized bed was covered in a lumpy white comforter. A beam hanging down from the ceiling held sets of clothes on hangers and a record player was balanced next to the bed, with a box of old vinyl records stacked beneath it.
I didn’t even realize I was at the bottom of the steps until Cash’s voice broke my trance.
“Sorry.” Cash’s eyes lifted to mine. He sat up a little straighter. He’d been sitting on the bed strumming an acoustic guitar. He set the guitar to the side and said, "I didn't realize anyone was still awake."
"Please, don't apologize. I'm pretty sure your song is the only reason I don't have a splitting headache anymore." I laughed nervously and shifted my weight from foot to foot.
Cash only nodded and exhaled, looking relieved.
"Anyway, I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't realize this was your room."
"Don't be,” he said. “I practically called you down here. I’ll try to be quieter.”
“I was already awake. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really. I mean, it’s complicated,” I added quickly, not wanting him to think I was brushing him off.
“So you keep saying. Everything’s really complicated with you, it seems.” Cash smirked.
“I don’t mean to be rude, it’s just—”
He raised a hand, cutting me off. “It’s cool. Don’t worry.” Cash smiled and motioned for me to sit.
I took a seat next to him and noticed he’d been writing music. He had papers with lyrics and notes spread out over the comforter.
“I stay down here so I can have my own space and play without Charlie having to worry about my power.”
"How does it feel?" I asked. "Your power, that is."
Cash scrunched up his brow and tilted his head to the side. "It's lonely."
I hadn’t expected that. I didn’t really have a response and Cash could sense my confusion. He straightened and cleared his throat.
“I used to be in a band. I was the front man.” Cash grinned and I could see his eyes drift into memory and a slow smile pulled at his lips. “My ability was just gaining traction and I hadn’t realized yet the effect I had on people. I just thought we were really good.” He laughed.
“Oh, I see.”
“Needless to say, we got pretty big. I was surrounded by people, but none of them really knew me or cared about me. So, yeah. It’s really lonely. Even my band mates pulled away and started treating me like a commodity.
“I bet your girlfriends used to get so jealous.”
“I dated here and there but nothing serious, and once I figured out that it wasn’t me, but my power they were attracted to, I stopped completely. I couldn’t morally be with someone who I knew had no choice but to be infatuated with me. That would be depraved and gross. Even if I didn’t have this specific ability, we all have pretty big secrets to keep. You can't have a relationship with someone if you can't share everything with them.”
I knew exactly what he meant. The entire time I'd been living in Riverside, waiting for my life to start, I kept to myself for that exact reason.
“So, I have to ask. What is with you and the ocean thing?”
Cash squinted, and tilted his head to the side. “What ocean thing?”
“Well, when you sing, I can hear the waves crashing and it feels like a summer day at the beach.”
Cash cracked a smile and dared to look at me for a moment before looking back at his guitar. “That's actually less about me, and more about you. When I use my power, I become that person's ideal. A reminder of when they were happiest. You may not be able to remember your past, but I guarantee your happiest day was on the beach.”
I smiled at the thought and wrapped my arms around my legs, happy to know that maybe some part of me held on to those lost memories. “That's pretty cool, actually.”
“This one girl used to swear I smelled like bacon and waffles. She was always sniffing me and then would get an immediate craving and made me take her to the pancake castle by her apartment at three in the morning.”
“Sounds like a terrible hardship.” I laughed.
“I gained twenty pounds with that one.” Cash widened his eyes and looked back at me with a huge grin. “Twenty!”
We laughed together and I caught the scent of coconut oil again. The waves crashed louder and a warm breeze rolled over my skin. Cash’s lips formed words, but I couldn’t hear them anymore. I reached out to feel the sunlight emanating from his tanned, glowing skin.
“Liv.” Cash’s gaze pulled violently from mine. My head spun and I had to close my eyes for a moment. When I opened them again, Cash’s cheeks were flushed red and I could feel the heat rising in my own.
“What?” I asked.
“It’s fine.” Cash stood suddenly and backed away from me.
I realized that I’d fallen under his pull and my hands found their way onto his thighs.
“I'm so sorry.” My heart fell into my stomach and I buried my face in my hands. The heat of blush made my cheeks uncomfortably hot. I dared peek back at Cash through my fingers. His body was turned away from mine, and he clammed up again. He just shook his head and tried to tell me not to worry in as few words as possible.
“Cash, I’m so sorry.” I tried to salvage the moment.
“Liv, I’m fine. It happens. I’m sorry I did that to you. I know its uncomfortable.”
Uncomfortable is the opposite of what it felt like under his sway, but I didn’t want to admit that. I was already embarrassed enough and Cash seemed on edge again.
“You were never at ACT, right?” I wanted to change the subject, but regretted the new topic almost instantly. Luckily, Cash was better at transitioning from awkward conversation points than I was.
“Nah. I sweet talked my way out of every situation they threw at me.” A small smirk pierced his cheek and I felt the mood lighten. “Did you do anything for yourself when you were there? Anything enjoyable?”
“Not really. ACT wasn’t big on extra curricular activities.”
<
br /> “Jeez, even prisoners get yard time.” Cash let out a grunt of a laugh and I followed suit, settling back comfortably now that we were back to normal.
“Well, I did listen to music. After my day of testing or classes I'd usually get an hour to myself when I could zone out and escape for a while.”
“Oh yeah, what do you like?” Cash perked up, and I realized we had something else in common.
“Depends on my mood. Some days you need a good cry and some days you need to be able to thrash around or dance it all out.” I let out a sigh. I left behind a pretty decent collection of tunes.
Cash pulled open the drawer of his end table. I caught a glimpse of a huge roll of money before he found what he was looking for. I saw how much he pulled in when we met, but I didn’t realize just how lucrative his power could be. His band must have been raking it in.
“I’ve got hundreds of songs on here.” Cash handed me an iPod and a pair of headphones. “That should hold you over until you can start reassembling your collection.”
“Thank you.” I scrolled through the playlist and recognized a lot from my own. “Wow, these are great. Some nights the headaches were so bad, music was the only way I could get to sleep.”
“Glad to help.” Cash smiled and stared down at his feet. “I think I’d better try and get some shut eye now.”
“Oh, yeah. Of course.” I pressed the iPod to my chest. “This means a lot. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Cash moved slowly toward me, guiding me to the door. “Sleep well, Liv.”
I gave him a smile and a nod, and then made my way out.
When I stepped out of Cash’s room, I heard something move in the kitchen and was startled by a figure standing at the refrigerator. A scream caught in my throat and I swallowed it down when I saw Glitch’s face illuminated by the fridge light.
“Cash got you, huh?” Glitch grinned wide. He stood over the stove, warming some milk. The makings of peanut butter sandwich were spread over the countertop.
“What?” I said, suddenly feeling like I’d been caught in a walk of shame.
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