by DaNeo Duran
‘Calvin?’ Katherine said as the smiling lady opened the ten Franc note. She stared, surprised when a tear blurred the handwriting.
‘We have nice paper if you’d like to write to him.’
‘I’ll need it. Merci,’ she said not understanding why she felt so strongly about someone she’d only met once.
* * *
Feeling lucky, yet scared Calvin would reject her as she’d rejected him, Katherine had approached a payphone. Showered and changed to look her best for the call she wanted to ask nothing of Calvin least of all for him to accept a reverse charges call. But without enough change from the ten Francs she perversely figured, If it’s meant to be it’ll come good.
Preparing for worst case scenarios, Katherine spoke French to the operator but hadn’t considered the potential language barrier with London.
Enveloped with frustration Katherine had almost shouted over the operator to the Englishman at the other end but miraculously someone French took over saving the call.
In the moments before Calvin’s arrival Katherine bit her lip growing panicky for having asked him to accept the charges. The glass phone box reflected her fine figure but knowing beauty couldn’t travel down the phone line she decided the best defence would be a strong offense.
* * *
After the call Calvin lay in bed wondering to what extent he’d given up on Katherine. He’d almost begun feeling normal again. Ridiculously she started the call by criticising the lunacy of hiding money in her jacket; she’d nearly sent it round the wash. He recalled how after her tirade she’d drawn breath. And love returned.
Katherine had ended the silence by asking after him. He’d smiled. Apparently she liked him. But as Katherine didn’t realise how intensely she’d been missed, he didn’t realise that she’d been thinking of his blue eyes every day and hadn’t wanted their call to end.
Friday 01st July 1983
The next day Raphael rose from Amy’s bed to find an energised Calvin cleaning the flat.
‘Morning,’ Calvin said. ‘Fancy helping me find a job today?’
‘Of course.’
They trawled the sunny streets after Danny had left for his shift. They only found bar work but Calvin wanted his evenings free for when the band started gigging.
After another company turned them away Raphael said, ‘You seem less concerned about money.’
‘Something’ll come up.’
‘Very optimistic.’
‘That’s what a phone call from Katherine does for you.’
That evening the band rehearsed. Whilst setting up their gear Raphael said, ‘There’s a lot of terrible band names out there.’
‘Why is that?’ Calvin asked.
‘Maybe because one member tells the band his got them a gig and so they settle on the first name that comes to mind,’ Danny said.
Raphael nodded. ‘I imagine saying band names to cool girls in bars.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah, if I imagine she’s still into me then ze name’s good.’
Once underway sound bounced around the room as did the band. Calvin’s plectrum dug deeper into the strings as their three voices blended.
‘This is exactly what we should be aiming for,’ Calvin said when the song ended. ‘Our voices are like one.’
‘One little spirit,’ Raphael said.
‘One little spirit,’ Calvin shouted punching the air. ‘That’s it, the band name I’ve been trying to remember.’
‘One little spirit?’ Danny said. ‘I think I like it. What d’you think Raphael?’
Raphael closed his eyes a moment. ‘I’d be happy saying that to girls. Maybe drop ze one. Little Spirit might be better.’
‘Okay, let’s try it,’ Danny suggested, ‘on a few girls I mean.’
‘We can be in ze pubs before last orders.’
Saturday 02nd July 1983
Refuelling on Frosties after Saturday’s 11am rehearsal Danny said, ‘So is it Little Spirit or One Little Spirit?’
‘Little Spirit’s an awesome name,’ Calvin said.
‘Ze girls I chatted to agree.’
A bump from downstairs interrupted them. Danny turned to the living room door. ‘What’s that?’
Stopping to listen they exchanged wary looks.
‘Hello,’ a female voice called upstairs.
Calvin stepped into the landing, ‘Amy?’
‘Guess who failed her exams?’
‘Oh no,’ Calvin said. ‘Come in, sit down.’
Amy explained that her friends Alison and Joanne had exams to re-sit too. ‘I’m not surprised really,’ she said. ‘But, I’ll be going to the poly library every day.’
‘I’ll hold you to that,’ Danny said.
‘Yeah, well there’s still time for some fun,’ she said dipping into her handbag and producing an envelope which she passed to him.
‘Ha, that’s hilarious,’ Danny said looking inside.
‘Photos from the other night?’ Calvin asked.
‘Yeah, actually you look cool on this one mate.’ Danny handed him the photo.
After twenty minutes of laughter Danny asked Amy what she thought of the band name Little Spirit.
‘I love it.’
‘Better than 10,000 Faces?’ Raphael asked.
‘Infinitely.’
‘That’s it sorted then,’ Calvin said. ‘Let’s book gigs.’
Danny agreed. ‘Amy’s opinion is worth more than all of last night’s girls.’
‘There were girls last night?’ Amy asked.
She sighed wondering what she’d missed. At least failing her exams meant being closer to Danny who looking at his watch said he had to work back that sick day he’d taken when getting his amp fixed.
‘Now’s ze time to be happy,’ Raphael reminded him.
‘Be happier when we’ve got a gig. Remember, get one for the end of the month then we’ve got a few weeks to get it together.’
‘End of the month. Imagine ze gig is booked. We’ll tell you where and when it is when you get back.’
Heading for the door Danny said, ‘I’ll tell my manager Liz we’ve got a record deal too.’
‘May as well,’ Raphael called after him. ‘It’s destiny.’
* * *
Looking up from the polished bar before the night’s inevitable crush Danny saw two dejected faces approaching; one worn by Calvin the other by Raphael.
‘Finding a gig take it out of you both?’ Danny said. But despite the sarcasm he knew how arduous that task could be.
Calvin stared at the bar top. ‘It’s a thankless chore and we do not have a gig.’
Danny chewed his lip noting Raphael’s serious. ‘Problem?’
‘Nope,’ Calvin said still not looking him in the eye.
Danny flushed with anger. ‘But there’s no gig?’
‘No gig?’ Calvin looked at him before cracking into smile. ‘We have three gigs.’ He thrust a hand for Danny to shake. ‘And,’ he added before Danny could speak, ‘I’ve got a job.’
‘Congratulations mate. Where?’
‘Where what, gig or job?’
‘Either.’
‘Well we were walking back from the Dog and Parrot when we spotted the sign in Proper Printing’s window. They’re looking for a part time member of staff. I thought why not?’
‘Doing what?’
‘Printing stuff I suppose. It’s quite a physical job.’
‘They hired you on the spot?’
‘After asking a load of questions. I’m on four weeks trial starting Monday and, given the busiest time is the start of the week, I should be off Fridays.’
‘You two’ll both be off Fridays,’ Danny said looking at Raphael.
‘Convenient yes?’ Raphael said.
‘So anyway the gigs,’ Calvin said. ‘We started at The Dog and Parrot. Raphael booked an available support slot in two weeks’ time. He told the manager we’re local and better than Taboo Tortured.’
‘Two weeks doesn’
t give us long, I thought we agreed end of the month?’ Danny said.
‘Hmm,’ Calvin said pulling a face. ‘Hopefully we’ll be alright. Anyway, Raphael rang The Water Rats near Kings Cross. Normally they require a demo but he got us a support slot by convincing the promoter we have gig experience.’
‘But we don’t.’ Danny said.
‘But that gig’s in three weeks. We’ll have played Ze Dog and Parrot by then,’ Raphael said.
‘You call that experience - we’d better be cock-on by then.’
‘Hmm,’ Calvin said again.
‘What about the third gig?’
‘Ze third gig is ze first gig.’
‘Come again; not The Dog and Parrot?’
‘No, Ze Water Rats.’
‘But—’
‘I know,’ Raphael said. ‘I was hanging up when ze promoter said he had a cancelation and could we do it.’
‘What, and you said yes?’
‘Right.’
‘When for?’
‘Tomorrow.’
‘Tomorrow!’
‘Well I’d led him to believe we were experienced. It’s okay, ze promoter knows it’s short notice. All we have to do is turn up with a bit of gear and play.’
‘We’re not ready. Couldn’t you have said no?’
‘He caught me off guard. Maybe it’s what we need to be good enough for Ze Dog and Parrot. After all you said you have to gig to be good enough to gig.’
‘And there was me thinking we’d use the early Dog and Parrot gig to be good enough for The Water Rats,’ Danny said.
Calvin and Raphael left him to finish his shift. Back at the flat leafing through Think and Grow Rich Raphael asked, ‘What do you know of ze Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle?’
‘Nothing really,’ Calvin said thinking the question random. ‘Atoms’ electrons can exist in more than one place at one time?’
‘Meaning?’
‘I dunno.’
‘Infinite realities or parallel universes,’ Raphael said. ‘My dad’s a physicist. He’s explained all this. Ze principle of Think and Grow Rich is to perceive a universe in which you are rich. Reality is, after all, only perception.’
‘What do you mean – reality is perception?’
Looking from the living room to what had recently been Calvin’s tidy kitchen he asked, ‘Is ze kitchen tidy or messy?’
‘It’s messy.’
‘How do you know?’
‘It’s got dirty plates everywhere.’
‘Everywhere?’
‘Well, there’s one clean surface.’
‘And If I asked Danny about ze kitchen’s state?’
‘He’d say it’s fine.’
‘Ah, he’d disagree,’ Raphael said. ‘So who’s right?’
‘I am, the kitchen’s a disgrace.’
‘With respect when I asked you, you said there were dirty plates everywhere. You didn’t care to see ze clean surface, despite it being there.’
‘True but—’
‘My guess is Danny’s attention would go passed ze mess straight to ze clean surface. Different perceptions make for different experiences of reality – possibly different universes.’
Calvin headed to the kitchen to wash up. ‘Unbelievable.’
‘Believe it,’ Raphael said picking up the tea towel and joining him. ‘Stay with me, I’m certain success and failure hinge on this point. We all see ze same stuff but interpret it differently – sometimes to the point of accusing others of being delusional.’
‘But which person is the deluded one?’
‘Precisely. And whether you believe this principle or not plenty of history’s richest people do – even if they don’t know ze finer details of multiple universe theory.’
‘Seems to be true of the characters in Think and Grow Rich,’ Calvin admitted.
‘So,’ Raphael said drying the pot Calvin passed him, ‘if it’s true we can think our way to rock stardom.’
‘What are you suggesting?’
‘Be a rock star now. Don’t wait. When you walk, walk like you do when you wear your bass. People will respond to you differently.’
‘Is that what you do?’
‘Of course. Take ze night you saw Taboo Tortured. I was being a rock star. I visualised ze room was packed and everyone loved me, ze band and ze music. Ze fact that there wasn’t so much love didn’t stop me.’
‘And Amy?’
‘I expect to attract female attention.’
‘What about me and Danny – Little Spirit?’
‘I’d visualised a better band.’
‘And you think Little Spirit is the band?’
‘Almost sure of it. Everything happens for a reason and Taboo have had their marching orders.’
‘The truth is I’m not yet a rock star.’
‘And that belief could stop you becoming one. You’re someone wanting to be a rock star. Stop wanting and start being. Truth and reality are not ze absolutes you think they are.’
‘Are you suggesting I should simply tell myself I’m a rock star now?’
‘That’d be a start but you wouldn’t believe it. You can’t trick ze universe. You have to believe it, feel it. Spend all ze time possible visualising ze stage, ze studio, interviews, looking at your fat bank account, soak up ze adoring screaming crowd, whatever it takes.’
‘Okay.’ Calvin stopped scrubbing to think. ‘Doing dishes doesn’t help but I guess what you’re saying would feel good.’
‘Check what’s going on behind ze images. Make sure they’re happening now and not just a future wish.’
‘Did you visualise success with Taboo Tortured?’
‘Not so much. You can’t change people. It’s up to them to change. Taboo were a training vehicle to something better.’
‘Danny’ll never buy this.’
‘He already has in his own way. He sees his ultimate destiny. Today helped though when we told him a gig was booked before we’d arranged one. Then we proved it by booking not one but three. There’s determination in him; he knows he’s good for it.’
‘You’re probably right,’ Calvin said.
‘It’s you I’m concerned about.’
‘Me – why?’
‘Danny explained about your dad. I watch you. I see you wanting ze rock star dream but then I see you doubt it and I’m concerned there’s a voice in your head telling you there’s always Coventry if this doesn’t work. You’re a rock star on one hand and a graduate with a future in Coventry on ze other.’
When Calvin only nodded Raphael continued. ‘You’ve got ze print job now so your basic needs will be met. Please for me and Danny forget your dad’s advice and Coventry; give us a hundred percent at least until ze twelve months are up. Be always ze person I see the moment you wear your bass.’
Again Calvin nodded. He knew Danny could be a worrier and usually pessimism would counter the optimism he’d shown in recruiting Raphael. But Raphael had identified that the man had no interest or plan to be anything other than a rock star.
Sunday 03rd July 1983
At 10am the following morning Danny asked Raphael, ‘Got some reading to do?’
‘Ze people on ze pages are our imaginary audience. Make sure you impress them.’
He’d visited a newsagent on the way to rehearsal and now spread the pages of two newspapers around Calvin and Danny’s feet.
‘Okay,’ Danny said. ‘What’s everyone’s thought on a real audience – for tonight I mean?’
‘We haven’t got one,’ Calvin said laughing maniacally. ‘But given we don’t know how good we’ll be maybe that’s a good thing.’
‘I don’t know mate,’ Danny said. ‘We’re billed as an established band. Irrespective of what the promoter might have said about short notice he’ll judge us on door take and cash in the till more than musical talent.’
‘True,’ Calvin said. ‘We’ll get Amy and as many other people along.’
Raphael’s intro music sounded through the PA. The b
and performed to each other and the newspaper faces on the floor. Danny, lucky enough to have the bare breasted Sam Fox gazing at him, held eye contact promising to connect with whatever audience they might have as he’d seen Raphael do with Taboo Tortured.
* * *
Told to arrive before 7pm Little Spirit headed into The Water Rats with minimum gear before six. On stage the headline band soundchecked looking and sounding okay. Scanning the pub the lads guessed the second band had yet to arrive.
When the sound-guy had a moment he asked, ‘Little Spirit?’
‘That’s us,’ Danny said.
‘Nice and early. I’m Stosh. We’ll get you soundchecked once we’ve done the second band, whenever they show.’
‘Stosh, what a cool name,’ Raphael said.
Twenty minutes later Band-2 arrived. Overweight and dressed geekishly Raphael guessed they’d not go far. Their soundcheck did no more to impress him.
‘Okay you’re up guys,’ Stosh said. Unlike some gigs Stosh afforded them time to get comfortable on stage. With levels balanced Raphael noted Danny’s guitar sound.
As if reading his mind Danny said, ‘Not as good as the Vox is it? It’ll come to the next gig.’
Not long after soundchecking Amy turned up with Alison and Joanne.
‘Which band are you here for?’ a guy smoking and chewing gum asked as they crossed the threshold.
‘We’re all here for Little Spirit,’ Amy said proudly though unsure why he’d asked given the free admission.
Turning a corner Amy felt a rush of nervous excitement seeing the stage. Despite only five stage lights the drum kit sparkled. She spied Calvin and Danny’s guitars leaning against amps waiting to be played and wondered how the lads would be feeling.
‘Amy,’ Raphael called spotting her first. Greeted with a hug she knew Raphael would be eying her skimpily dressed friends over her shoulder. She hugged Danny ignoring that he too might be doing the same though less obviously than Raphael who turned on the charm without delay.
‘Stosh,’ Calvin said half an hour later when the soundman appeared at their table.
‘Ready when you are.’
‘Cheers,’ Danny said. ‘We’ll do a last tune-up.’
Amy looked around the half-filled room. Just like when they’d seen Taboo Tortured the audience largely consisted of other bands and their girlfriends. The Little Spirit’s contribution so far numbered three. Amy wished her friends luck.
Facing the front she watched Danny pick up his guitar. An acknowledgement from Raphael behind his drums signalled the jukebox to fade. A cacophony of weird noises poured from the speakers replacing AC/DC’s Big Balls. Hearing the Little Spirit intro music for the first time Amy pictured ponderous sludge evolving, until percussive rhythm picked up the tempo. Danny, standing back and right of Raphael appeared relaxed but, left of the smug looking drummer stood Calvin looking terrified. She’d seen him looking nervous before gigs in the past but seeing his skin appear ashen, feared he’d be too scared to play.