happened a few other times.
Oppenheim said, “Smit, with all your degrees and things you have forgotten the basics. Did your mother take samples and analyze everything? Of course not. It was trial and error all the way.”
Smit’s hair seemed to rise up as his cheeks turned red, “But if only she could have. Think of how marvelous her cakes would have been.”
“Frederick, Alvin stop it,” one of the security guards said as he pulled on Oppenheim’s lab coat.
Frederick Oppenheim stood and pointed at the guard, “How dare you refer to use by our first names. You should always refer to me as Dr. Dr. Professor Oppenheim, but him - I don’t care what you call him.”
Smit said, “I will allow Heinz to call me Alvin, the PH in my brain is perfectly balanced, unlike some professors who probably don’t even really have two doctorates.”
Heinz said, “Come on guys, cut it out, the dean wants to see you. I don’t think he’s happy about the way you two have been bickering.”
Oppenheim brushed a few crumbs of peanut butter and jelly off of his lab coat. He wondered if this was going to take long. His radio transmission had to be in an hour; otherwise he would miss his chance for another two months. He rose from his chair and waved for Smit to go in front of him.
Smit said, “I can hardly believe that you let me go first. One might even call it politeness if they didn’t know you.”
Oppenheim said, “Of course it was not politeness, I just don’t trust you behind me. The last thing I need is peanut butter smeared down my back.”
Smit said, “You shouldn’t give me ideas.”
Heinz knocked on the dean’s door.”
The dean said, “Come in.”
The three of them walked into the dean’s office. The dean stood with his hand out welcoming his guests, if his desk wasn’t so huge it would be like he was going to shake their hands. Piles of paperwork and open books filled the desk for all but a small working area directly in front of the dean. The walls were similarly adorned with disorderly bookshelves, the books practically spilling out as they were piled onto them, rather than being lined neatly. Chairs were stuck in various points of the room. A man was sitting in one of the chairs. He wore a smart suit, but his glasses were ridiculous, the handle which connected the lenses to each other protruded upwards. It reminded Oppenheim of an old fashioned bicycle.
The dean said, “No doubt you have noticed our guest, it is none other than Nobel Prize winning Fritz Haber.
Oppenheim was stunned, “I am honored to finally meet you. I think your invention is one of the most underrated of all time. Millions would have starved if not for you.”
Haber nodded uninterestedly, “I know I’m a great man and I could go on and on about it on most days, but I have just finished a speaking tour and I am for once tired of talking about myself.”
Smit sneered and said, “You haven’t done anything since the war, I’m not impressed.”
The dean said, “Actually he has been working with his friend Carl Bosch to create a synthetic fuel. This could be an even bigger revolutionary idea than ammonia production.”
Oppenheim said, “The ammonia is able to create either fertilizer or bombs, and the fuel could be used for either tanks or to ship food to the hungry. Professor Haber, you have the ability to create items useful in peace or in war.”
Haber said, “Of course my ideas are beyond petty concepts like war and peace.”
Smit said, “What point are you trying to make. Are you saying that my creation could only be used in war? So, what of it?” He glared at Oppenheim, and then at Haber “I am opposed to having another research professor here, we have at least one too many already.”
The dean said, “You don’t understand Smit, with the addition of Professor Haber to our team, we will become the most important defense research team in Germany. This will in no way decrease funding for either of your projects, in fact, we are getting a sizable grant from the government. In fact, we are going to be getting a contingent of new professors and assistants.”
Oppenheim asked, “How is my work viewed as defense related?”
The dean said, “You have surely heard of the Nazi party, one of the important members of the party, a Mr. Himmler, is somewhat of a crackpot. He has been talking to a medium who has indicated that you are close to contacting a powerful alien life form, and if this life form were to come to earth, it would change history irrevocably.”
Smit said. “This is incredible, we are all men of science, and yet we are subject to this ludicrous nonsense. As if his research is not ridiculous enough.”
Oppenheim said, “My research is not ridiculous. But if there were a race advanced enough to travel through space it surely would also be civilized. The biggest danger to us would be its inability to have any care for us at all. We would probably seem like ants to it.”
Haber said, “I can’t really say what the effect of contacting a creature from outer space would be, if there is such a creature, but it seems a bit naive that it would want to be involved in earth politics.”
Oppenheim said, “Quite, but we would be able to procure from them some fabulous technology. It would be a wonderful thing for all of earth.”
Haber said, “I don’t stand for any of this medium nonsense, but I am not so sure we could trust, or even understand what the motivations of an alien race would be. Although it would be a great boon if they were benevolent, they could cause great harm even if they were uninterested in us.”
The dean said, “It doesn’t matter what our opinions of aliens and mediums are, my opinion is to cash the checks while we still can. And for you academic types, the department will be getting larger budgets, more equipment, and lab assistants.”
Smit said, “At least there is something good that has come out of this day.”
Haber said, “I look forward to working on this team. I understand the both of you are Jewish.”
Oppenheim said, “Well yes, I am.”
Smit said, “I am not sure what you are getting at.”
Haber said, “This is why I love Germany. I don’t know of any other country in the world where a group of Jewish scientists could all work here in a higher institution of learning. Germany is so progressive and forward-thinking when it comes to Jews.”
Smit said, “Well you are probably right for the most part, but I hear those Nazi fellows aren’t crazy about us.”
Oppenheim said, “They most certainly are not.”
Haber said. “I think they will come around, I mean Germany is such a great place, and there are so many good hard working Jews here, how could they not come to love us in the end?”
The dean said, “Well, I didn’t mention to any of the Nazis that most of the scientists here were Jewish, just in case.”
Heinz stood outside thinking to himself, I think the Nazis will want to hear about this. They might even do me a favor and get me a job so I don’t have to be around any of these crazy professors anymore. I think they are going to end up killing everyone with their nonsense.
New York
July 29th, 2015
Library
Martin, Burt, and Lindsey sat around a large table on the edge of the library. The books on the shelves around them seemed old, and the smell of ancient books and coffee filled the place. The black iron and glass lighting fixture above them provided inadequate light, but this was compensated with by generous windows.
Burt said, “I don’t understand why we had to come here, we could have talked at my place or yours.”
Martin said, “Our uncle can’t find out what we’ve done, or we will be in a lot of trouble, so our house is out of the question.”
Lindsey said, “And Burt, don’t take this the wrong way, but we’ve been to your place before and it's just too small.” She paused and thought for a moment, “And dirty.”
Burt said, “Hey, don’t insult me; I’m doing you a favor.”
Martin said, “You don’t have a job anyways. I tell you w
hat, if we can get the painting back we’ll split the money with you.”
Burt asked, “What painting?”
Lindsey said, “You see Martin is very worried about what our uncle will do if he found out we used the time machine to get rich.”
Burt said, “That’s what this is about, a get rich quick scheme?”
Martin said, “Yes. Think about it, if you couldn’t go back in time and meet any famous people for fear of changing the future, then what would you do with a time machine, use it to get rich.”
Lindsey said, “If we went back and bought lottery tickets then our uncle would find out.”
Martin said, “I thought about stocks, but we would need to get money to the past to invest, we really don’t have much money, and if we went back more than a few years we wouldn’t be 18 and wouldn't have credentials.”
Burt said, “Well, I guess that makes sense, but why a painting?”
Lindsey said, “We read a news story about a man who had bought a painting at a garage sale and it ended up being worth 15 million dollars.”
Martin said, “The painter was German, and the painting was last seen at 1932 in Munich. Another thing that made this a good plan was that I knew a dealer who was trying to unload some German Reichsmarks. The notes are almost worthless. This meant we could buy the painting with almost no initial cost, and come back and sell the painting with a similar story.”
Burt asked, “Wouldn’t your uncle be a bit suspicious about you finding this painting?”
Lindsey said, “I don’t think so, I was there when he read the
Part One: Killing Hitler Page 3