Part One: Killing Hitler

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Part One: Killing Hitler Page 5

by William Dean Hamilton

treaties Germany was forced to get into at the end of the Great War. The PH balance is off though.”

  Heinz said, “You are always talking about the PH balance of everything.”

  Smit said, “Of course, I am, do you realize how important the PH balance is?”

  Heinz said, “Um, no.”

  Smit said, “It’s even important to ketchup. Ha, ha.”

  Heinz asked, “What?”

  Smit said, “Because of your name.”

  Heinz said, “Oh, yes. I am not related if you were wondering.”

  Smit said, “I didn’t figure you were, I mean if you were related to an important family like that you wouldn’t be a security guard here, I mean really.”

  Heinz said, “That’s very insulting.”

  Smit said, “Oh, come on now, you know it's not a great job.”

  Heinz frowned at the professor and crossed his arms.

  Smit said, “I know there is a brain in there somewhere, that’s why I’m showing this to you.”

  Heinz asked, “Do you think I could help in some way?”

  Smit laughed and slammed his hand down on what looked like a glass aquarium which held a multi-colored wasp.

  Heinz was about to walk away when he noticed the wasp was attached to a beetle’s head, the beetle was walking slowly forward.

  Smit said, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have laughed, but you help me? Out of the question. But I do see you have a keen eye. That is another insect which can control the mind of others.”

  Heinz asked “Now look here, I am not only a security guard, I am the head of security, and since this facility is becoming a center of research, my job is becoming more important every day. I will not be talked to this way.”

  Smit said, “Don't’ be overdramatic, don’t you see I am giving you a compliment?”

  Heinz asked, “By insulting me?”

  Smit cocked his head “Did, I do that?”

  Heinz said, “You most certainly did, you laughed at me.”

  Smit smiled, “Oh, I see. Let me explain this to you differently.”

  Heinz tucked his hands under his arms, “I’m listening.”

  Smit said, “If Professor Haber were to have said the same thing as you I would have done the same thing. It is not just a matter of being smart, but of being knowledgeable in a particular area. It would take you years to be able to be of real use to me, do not take offense.”

  Heinz frowned, “Well…”

  A man broke into the room, “Hey guys, I’m Dorsey, I just got a grant to work here, I think it's the greatest thing since ketchup.”

  Heinz looked at the man’s huge smile; his hair straggled out in all directions, like a clown with brown hair. “Don’t make fun of my name; I’m not in the mood.”

  Dorsey said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I just love ketchup.”

  Smit said, “You must be working on something very important to get assigned here, all of the top research scientists in the country are here.”

  Dorsey said, “Oh, of course it is.” He looked around like he was about to tell them one of the biggest national secrets. “I am looking to do a transplant of a dog’s voice into a cat.”

  Heinz looked at Smit, “Am I missing something?”

  Smit said, “Well there Dorsey, most of the projects here are defense related. Heinz and I are a bit puzzled how you got approved to be here.”

  Dorsey smiled even larger, “My uncle, he likes me so much and has supported me all of the way.”

  Smit nodded his head as he spoke, “And who would this uncle be?”

  Dorsey said, “Nideburg, what a great guy.”

  Smit nodded to Heinz.

  Heinz said, “He is virtually the head of the educational ministry. That explains it.”

  Dorsey said, “Yes, after all my work with cats, I know that they will only be able to truly communicate what they are feeling inside if they can bark.”

  Smit said, “It will be a glorious day for Germany.” and rolled his eyes.

  Heinz started to leave but caught a glimpse of another glass case with a kind of yellow powder growing inside of it.”What’s that?”

  Smit said, “Mold, controls bug’s minds, yada, yada, yada, I don’t feel like talking all of a sudden.”

  Heinz said, “I understand.”

  New York

  July 29th, 2015

  Later

  Bad Restaurant

  The bright florescent lights seem to dig into Martin’s eyes. “I don’t know if a burger joint is the best place to talk.”

  Burt said, “Sure it is, old people hang out for hours in the morning. We can stay here as long as we want and they have free refills.”

  Lindsey looked around nervously, “They don’t have clowns at this place do they, I hate clowns.”

  Martin looked at the restaurant, some of the paint on the red tables and chairs was chipped, the counter where you ordered was some kind of old green color that was popular in the 60s, the menu behind the counter was filled with letters and numbers that were slid into place, but a few of the numbers were askew. The crew working behind the counter wore similar beige shirts, but not matching.

  Martin said, “I don’t think this place is nice enough to have a clown.” He sipped his soda, which had an odd aftertaste to it. “Free refills huh?”

  Burt said, “YEAH, isn’t it great?”

  Martin asked, “Where was I?”

  Lindsey said, “We were all ready, we had our uniforms and money and spoke German, I wanted to take something to read in case I got bored, so I brought a copy of Cosmopolitan.”

  Burt asked, “Is that really important?”

  Lindsey said, “Yes, the whole world might be different if I hadn’t taken that copy of Cosmo with me.”

  Martin started his story

  Munich Germany

  March 12th, 1932

  Arrival

  Going further back in time means that when you arrive at your destination the impact is greater, both of us felt stunned for a few minutes. When we got our senses back, we started to walk around. The air was brisk, but not unlike March in New York, when you stood in the sun, you could almost feel warm until the wind slapped the spring away from you. Mountains were partially hidden by new and old buildings, and you could see why a painter could get world class inspiration from all of the angles and views Munich had to offer. After we had been there for only an hour night started to fall.

  We decided to go into a tavern and order some dinner. It was a large room and the bar in the middle of the place was packed with big, brusky men who wore working uniforms or suits.

  The smell of smoke was overpowering, in the modern day you forget that it used to be customary to light up cigarettes in a tavern. We ordered sausages and beer from a chubby blonde woman whose cleavage must have pumped up to about 100 PSI.

  I noticed a man in a security guard uniform approach a table a few feet away from us; he asked if he was speaking to Himmler. I was very nervous, but what did I have to be nervous about? I didn’t realize it until we had made three or four trips into the past, but this was a very important conversation.

  Our sausages were delicious, but I felt very tired from the trip, and I was nervous about sitting close to Himmler, so I got up and went up to my room, which was on and upper floor of the tavern.

  Munich Germany

  March 12th, 1932

  Later

  Tavern

  Heinz shook Himmler’s hand.

  Himmler said, “So nice to meet you, I am not sure I can help you right now, but I think we will be able to in a year or two at most.”

  Heinz said, “That is so reassuring. The Jewish scientists I work for just seem to be crazy. I think one of them is going to end up getting all of us killed.”

  Himmler said, “Oh yes with their greed, they will destroy us all.”

  Heinz said, “Well no, they are working on some things that are very dangerous, but I think some of them, perhaps all of them,
are slightly unhinged. I think at best the projects are a waste of time, but at the worst, they could end up killing many people.”

  Himmler said, “So are they trying to turn lead into gold.”

  Heinz said, “No, they are trying to contact aliens, and.”

  Himmler said, “Oh, I want that project to stay, I have some inside information about that.”

  Heinz said, “From whom, I know everyone at the college.”

  Himmler smiled and shook his head up and down, “My medium said it was a powerful life form who had the potential to change life on the planet forever.”

  Heinz paused for a moment, “Well, there is another professor who is studying bugs and things that can control the minds of other bugs, how will that be useful.”

  Himmler said, “Do you think that is how those Jews have corrupted our youth and made us surrender in the Great War?”

  Heinz said, “No, I just think they might start a plague or holocaust or something like that.”

  Himmler said, “Holocaust you say, that could be another word for the final solution.”

  Heinz said, “By all that is Holy.”

  Himmler said, “Do you have a problem with the final solution?”

  Heinz said, “Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention, I got distracted. Would you look at the size of that man’s nose?”

  Himmler glanced quickly over, “How can you look at the man’s nose when there is such a beautiful creature which sits next to him.”

  Heinz, “You are right, what is wrong with me.”

  Himmler said, “Ah, what a lucky man with the big nose.”

  Heinz said, “No, you are wrong there, they are brother and sister.”

  Himmler started to look over, but then looked down and covered the top of his eyes. “I was going to look, but I don’t want to see that man when I look at her, that would ruin everything.”

  Heinz started to laugh.

  Himmler said, “I will

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