Part One: Killing Hitler

Home > Humorous > Part One: Killing Hitler > Page 8
Part One: Killing Hitler Page 8

by William Dean Hamilton

struck his hand, “Me watching for nonscientific something something.”

  Heinz said, “It’s OK Zog, he’s a friend.”

  Zog squinted his eyes and said, “That not sound right.”

  Heinz sighed and said, “Oh brother, who would have thought that calling the Nazis would be the wrong thing to do?”

  Munich Germany

  March 13th, 1933

  Inn

  Lindsey and Martin stood outside of their hotel rooms; Martin held the painting and Lindsey crossed her arms.

  Martin said, “I know you wanted to stay here for a little while as a vacation, but I think we should get back soon.”

  Lindsey said, “You’re right,” and opened the door to her room. Two men in uniforms were rummaging through her suitcase.”What are you doing here?”

  One of the men stopped going through her things and looked over at her, “Are you Lindsey Traveler?”

  Lindsey said, “Why yes, I am, what is the meaning of this?”

  The man continued, “Were you anywhere near Adolph Hitler’s house this morning?”

  Lindsey said, “Oh, yes, that’s what this is about, the woman who shot him was…”

  The man said, “So you admit you were there.”

  Lindsey noticed Martin was standing by her side, although he had not spoken a word. She said, “Yes, I was there, the woman who shot him, I think her name was Eva. That was what Hitler said.”

  The man said, “You will have to come down to the station with us.”

  Lindsey said, “I can understand that, but why are you going through my things?”

  The man said, “This is not America miss, you don’t have the same rights here, and you are accused of murder, this is a very serious situation.”

  Martin said, “What sort of evidence do you have, she saw another woman shoot him.”

  The man said, “But that same woman claims that she was the one who shot him. Did you happen to see what happened?”

  Martin said, “Well, no, I was at the hotel. There must be something we can do to prove her innocence”

  The man said, “That is not up to us to decide, but you must come along with us now.”

  Lindsey said, “I guess we have to.”

  Munich Germany

  March 14, 1933

  Painter’s House

  The painter stood next to the naked man lying in a cage looking at him to see if he had returned to normal. There had been sheets and blankets in the cage at one time, but now they were only tatters.

  The man startled away and saw the painter looking down on him. “How long was I gone that time?”

  The painter said, “Almost a week.”

  The man said, “Maybe we should give this up, there does not seem to be any way to control it.”

  The painter said, “Hitler is dead.”

  The man said, “Well, that is good news. Do you think the other Nazis know what he sold us?”

  The painter said, “No, otherwise they would have been here by now. But if we can make this work, then they might be one of our best potential customers/”

  The man thought for a moment and shook his head, “Yes, it will be nice for one of them to owe us money, especially when it was one of their own who gave us the talisman.” The man started to dig through the torn rags at the thought.

  The painter grabbed a pile of clothes from behind him and pushed the clothes through the bars, “Here, get dressed.”

  The man looked up at him, “I have gotten used to being naked, of course when I am a wolf I have fur on me.”

  The painter asked, “Do you have a way to reverse lycanthropy, I have heard once you use the talisman too much, the transformation will occur even without it?”

  The man said, “There is a gypsy, but they are unreliable, and this one is expensive.”

  The painter said, “If you can’t control it, I don’t think we have much choice. I didn’t want to be the one to turn because I was afraid of what would happen to me, but when I see what you are like, I am afraid if you can’t learn to control it, my life will in more danger than yours.”

  The man said, “I will control it, I know so.”

  Munich Germany

  March 14th, 1933

  Later

  Police Station

  Martin was showing the guard the time machine, “See, here, it is just a little box, it's not explosive or anything.”

  The guard poked the time machine with his fingers, “It does look a little too scientific for a bomb. OK, you can go in and give her the treatment.”

  Martin said, “Oh, thank you, and, by the way, why does everyone think my sister is guilty, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  The guard smiled, “Such a nice, polite boy.” The guard bent down, “The people in this town, well, you know how people are, they don’t think that anyone from Munich could be a killer, even after that incident with Otto the impaler, so since your sister isn’t from here, they think she is guilty, even though everyone knows Eva Braun was kind of crazy and had threatened Hitler with a gun in the past.”

  Martin starred, but then shook his head, “Thank you for telling me anyway. I don’t suppose we could move the trial?”

  The guard said, “There is a slim chance, but I think she would get lynched.”

  Martin asked, “Lynched, here?”

  The guard said, “Oh yes, she would be better off here.”

  Martin said, “Thank you again and walked back to the cell where they held Lindsey.”

  Lindsey was scrunched up in a ball on the ground.

  Martin said, “Wake up sister, I’m here.”

  Lindsey looked up and him and clapped her hands, “I never thought I would see you again.”

  Martin said, “It took a while to convince the guards to let me in with this, he showed her the time machine.”

  Lindsey said, “Let's fire it up and get out of here.”

  Martin handed her the ski pole thing and she grasped it with all her strength. Martin had already set the time machine for modern-day New York, he pressed the start button, and felt weightless for a second, but not long enough, and the impact he was expecting never came, he realized his eyes were shut and he opened them again. Lindsey was still in the cage, he looked around,

  The guard was staring at him, and then rubbed his eyes.”I think my eyes are playing tricks on me, I thought you had both disappeared from the cell for five minutes. I almost called the other guards in, but I wasn’t sure what to say.”

  Martin said, “We, um, used to be in a magic act, was it good then?”

  The guard stood up, “A magic act, wow that was fantastic. If she gets out, I will see all of your shows.”

  Martin said, “Really, that’s very kind of you,” and then turned to Lindsey and whispered batteries to her.”

  The guard asked, “What was that?”

  Martin said, “Stage secret, you really don’t want to know. It would ruin the trick.”

  The guard said, “You’re right. I hate to tell you this as you gave me a free show, but you have to leave now.”

  Martin said, “Sure, but I can come back tomorrow?”

  The guard said, “Of course, hey do you know the trick with the rings?”

  Martin said, “I do, but I don’t have the equipment with us, darn it.”

  The guard looked sad as Martin walked away.”

  Munich Germany

  March 14th, 1933

  University

  Martin stood in the professor's laboratory, unsure if he had made the right move in coming here. The laboratory was not all white and clean like the other ones he had passed in the hall, engine parts partially covered in oil lay about, and the walls weren’t even the white tile he had noticed in the other, but were bare wood, with nails sticking out for tools to hang on. It was more like a garage than a laboratory.

  A black man wearing a brown jumpsuit came from around a corner, a huge metal thing in his hand, he said, “Come on now, help me.”

  Martin jumped over
to help, but as he examined the metal piece he found it difficult to determine what spot he could grab onto that would be less likely to result in an amputated finger. “Where should I grab it?”

  “There is a handle on the back.”

  Martin started to grab the thing that looked most like a handle.

  “Not there, are you crazy, down farther.”

  Martin grabbed at the next lower rung of metal, the weight of the machine dug into his fingers, but nothing felt too sharp.

  The black scientist worked the machine with Martin into a corner and they dropped it onto a wooden crate that looked like it was going to break when they set the machine onto it.

  The black man said, “Lucien,” and extended his hand.

  Martin shook the hand and said, “Martin.”

  Lucien said, “Ah yes, the young man who needs me to help him recharge his batteries. What sort of contraption is this?” And he popped the machine open.

  Martin said, “Well. It’s kind of difficult to explain…”

  Lucien said, “It's a time machine isn't it?”

  Martin said, “No, well, um, why would you say that?”

  Lucien said, “This is a flux capacitor, I would recognize it anywhere.”

  Martin asked, “So you have seen a time machine before?”

  Lucien said, “No, I never thought I would see anything this advanced, but when I saw how this was designed, I knew there was nothing else it could be, you have to be from the future to have this with you.”

  Martin blushed, “Yes.”

  Lucien said, “How did you overcome the parellax resistance?

  Martin lowered his head, “My uncle made it.”

  Lucien said, “Oh, and so that was why you didn’t know the batteries would get low.”

  Martin bowed his head, “Yes.”

  Lucien said, “You don’t have to be glum, I can help you.”

  Martin looked up, “Yes?”

  Lucien said, “Yes. I only want to borrow the time machine for a little

‹ Prev