by Daniel Gibbs
MacIntosh strode through the door into the Presidential office and brought himself to attention before the desk President Spencer sat behind. “General MacIntosh, reporting as ordered, sir.”
“Andrew, when are you going to relax with that?” Spencer asked with a smile on his face.
“Mr. President, it’s a matter of habit. Respect for the office. Even if we are old friends.”
“I understand,” Spencer said as he stood up from behind the desk and walked around, gesturing at the two chairs in front of the desk. “Please, have a seat.”
MacIntosh sat in the chair furthest from Spencer; Spencer then sat in the vacant seat. “What’s on your mind, sir?” he asked.
“I wanted to ask you about our young Colonel Cohen. I’ve heard some disturbing reports regarding his mental stability.”
MacIntosh looked away. “I can’t begin to know how he, or many other soldiers, continue to function in this war, sir. He seemed fine to me today.”
“I’ll agree that today he seemed fine, but he was clearly not fine earlier this week.”
“You realize that probably every member of the space corps that’s seen battle has some form of PTSD, sir?”
“Andrew, this is the biggest, best ship in our fleet. We can’t afford any screw-ups. Is he battle-ready?”
MacIntosh made eye contact with Spencer; the discussion forced him to confront a reality he didn’t want to face. David Cohen was the best man for the job, he was sure of it. His emotional state was another question, on the other hand. “I’m not sure, sir.”
“I want you to figure that out. Talk to him. If he is, then fine. God knows that young man has earned his stripes, and by any measure, he’s a hero. I can think of no one else I’d rather have leading us into battle with this wondrous new ship. But if he’s not emotionally stable, then we’re going to have to quietly make sure he gets the help he needs and put another CO in place. Quickly.”
“I understand, sir,” MacIntosh said, sorrow in his voice.
“Andrew, please know that’s the last thing I want.”
MacIntosh nodded in response. “Yes, sir. It’s the last thing I want either, because I don’t think we can win without Colonel Cohen commanding the Lion of Judah. What that ship did to Seville and the Destruction will inspire fear in the League, and that fear will be worth more than fifty starships as reinforcements.”
“You put a lot of stock in morale.”
“Yes, I do. I’ve seen men and women accomplish things that no flesh and blood human had any right to, simply because they had belief in their cause, and they believed they could do what needed to be done. That kind of Esprit de Corps comes from good leadership, strong morale, and an unshakeable sense of duty.”
“Then for all our sakes, I hope that Colonel Cohen is ready for the task in front of him.” Spencer sighed. “Would you care to pray with me about this?”
MacIntosh nodded and bowed his head. Sometimes, he wasn’t sure God was even listening anymore. With all the strife, bloodshed, and horror in the universe that they contended with on a daily basis, it was easy to believe that God no longer controlled what happened or the events around them. He hoped that was wrong as he closed his eyes and waited for Spencer to pray.
43
David was ordered to report to General MacIntosh’s office at 0800 for what was referred to as a meeting by his adjutant. The suddenness of the order, and what David knew had been erratic, emotional behavior on his part the last few days, had him questioning what the subject matter would be. Truly, since the dream he had that felt more like a vision, he had begun to resolve his emotions and get his head back in the fight. David knew that the road ahead would be long and difficult, but he found himself looking forward to it.
After greeting Major Roberts, David was shown back to the now-familiar office of General MacIntosh. “Colonel David Cohen, reporting as ordered, sir,” he said, bracing to attention.
MacIntosh looked up from his tablet. “Take a seat, Colonel.”
As David sat down, MacIntosh put his tablet aside and stared directly into his eyes. “I’ll cut to the chase, Colonel. I need to know your head is in the game.”
David returned the stare, keeping eye contact. “It is, sir. I’m ready to go.”
MacIntosh leaned back in his chair. “Really? Is that before or after you nearly assaulted an enlisted man for following procedures regarding repatriation of our war dead?”
David winced. I guess somebody reported that. “Sir, I wanted the contractors that perished to be treated with honor and respect. They earned it. If not for them, I wouldn’t be here, nor would my ship.”
“I see. You were also observed crying uncontrollably at Major Thompson’s funeral.”
David continued to stare straight ahead. “With respect, sir, I lost my best friend. I believe that an emotional reaction was warranted.”
MacIntosh frowned. “I didn’t say it wasn’t, Colonel. But considering these and other reports… I have reservations as to if you are in the right state of mind to get back into the war.”
“I’ve been able to put most of it behind me the last few days, sir.”
“Have you seen a counselor?” MacIntosh probed.
“No, sir.”
“Then how have you been able to put it behind you in a couple of days?”
“Sir, that is a personal matter,” David said, not wishing to discuss his dream.
“Not good enough, Colonel. If you want back into space without a full mental health workup, I want details.”
David swallowed hard and sighed. “Very well, sir.” He paused for a moment. How do I explain this without sounding insane? “Several nights ago, I had a dream that was vividly real. It felt like something that actually happened as opposed to simply being a dream.”
As David spoke, MacIntosh stared at him with an inscrutable look on his face. “In it, I had a long conversation with Sheila. She told me why she did what she did, and she assured me that there was a better place after all of this.” He decided to leave out the part about her leaving the video for him or their discussions regarding their love for each other.
“When I woke up the next morning, it was as if something dark was lifted off me. I visited Dr. Tural to discuss the matter with him.”
MacIntosh’s right eyebrow shot up. “And?”
“He told me that he found evidence in a scan of my brain that showed increased mental activity consistent with a fresh memory, but there was no scientific evidence that was conclusive either way.”
“An interesting story, Colonel. What do you think happened?”
“I think that somehow, some way, Sheila reached out to me from what we think of as heaven. I realize that sounds a bit insane, sir. But I think she wanted me to get my head screwed back on straight. I also…” David trailed off for a moment. “I also think that maybe God let her to do it to get my head screwed back on straight.” He looked at MacIntosh, waiting for a response and unsure of his fate.
“I see, Colonel,” MacIntosh replied and stood up, walking around his desk to sit in the chair next to David. “I don’t mention my faith too much. I’m a practicing Catholic.” He cracked a smile. “Which, for someone of Scottish descent, is a bit different. Causes debates at family reunions.”
MacIntosh continued with his train of thought. “When I was still a young man, I served as an engineering officer on a light cruiser called the Pericles. I’ll never forget something that happened on that ship. During a battle, one of our primary coolant lines ruptured and a damage control team tried to seal it. Radiation levels got high enough that the computer system automatically sealed the compartment. We desperately tried to get the door open to get those men out before they died, but every tool we had broke down and we couldn’t get in.”
MacIntosh paused for a moment as he relived the memory. “The chaplain on the Pericles was an old Catholic priest…Father Rafferty. He happened to be assigned to a damage control team in the engineering spaces and he came up to us
while we were swearing, banging on the door, trying to cut it with a plasma cutter, and anything else we could think of. He asked us to let him pray with us.”
David listened intently as MacIntosh continued.
“We all held hands with him, and I will never forget the feeling that washed over me as this priest asked God to help us. I heard him say that we would become calm, that our tools would begin to function, and that we would rescue those men. A feeling of peace came over me that I have never felt before or since. After he was done, we tried again. We had those men out in less than five minutes, and every last one of them survived.”
David noticed MacIntosh had become emotional as he spoke of this past memory. “I am sure that some people would tell me that it was just random chance and we got lucky. But I know with every fiber of my being that somehow, through Father Rafferty, God helped us save those men. If you believe that God helped you by letting your best friend explain something to you from beyond the grave…then I’ll back that one hundred and fifty percent.”
“Thank you, sir.”
MacIntosh put his hand on David’s shoulder. “You are a fine officer, Colonel Cohen. You have a lot left to give to this fight and I need you in it. All of you.”
“I’m in it, sir. To the end, regardless of where that takes us,” David said, his voice filled with confidence.
“Then get your ship ready to get back out there. We need to fly the flag for a few more days, but after that…you will be back on the front.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Dismissed, Colonel.”
David came to attention before leaving the room, looking at MacIntosh in an entirely different light.
David had a meeting with Dr. Hayworth in his office set for 1400 hours’ shipboard time. Looking at the clock on his tablet, he wondered if Hayworth was just one of those people that were always late or if he was doing it on purpose to spite him.
Around fifteen minutes after the hour, the door chime buzzed. “Come,” David said, annoyance in his voice.
The hatch swung open and Dr. Hayworth strode in, plopping into one of the chairs in front of David’s desk. “Greetings, Colonel. How are you today?” he asked cheerfully.
“I’m well, Doctor, thank you for asking.”
“I’m sure you’ve heard by now that Major Merriweather and I have been assigned to the Lion of Judah for the foreseeable future.”
“I have,” David said, failing to hide the annoyance in his voice. He figured that Hayworth would have been disappointed by this, but for whatever reason, the doctor seemed to relish it.
“Oh, come now, Colonel. This will be fun.”
“I don’t follow, Doctor. I don’t like being responsible for civilians that haven’t served and don’t know how to handle themselves on a military vessel. I remind you…we’re at war.”
Hayworth just smiled. “I’m what you would call a force multiplier, Colonel. I’ll ensure you get the best technology and the newest equipment.”
David suppressed the desire to roll his eyes at Hayworth. The man just got under his skin; there was no doubt about it. “Well, anything to make this ship more effective than it already is, Doctor.”
“Was that a compliment, Colonel?”
“I’ve never doubted your technical abilities, Doctor.” David forced a thin smile.
“Oh, I figured you would tell me that God provided the technology from on high.”
David took a breath. “I think that God gives us the mental abilities that we use to make the technology, Doctor.”
Hayworth leaned forward. “Let me let you in on a secret, Colonel. There is no God. I’m just a freak of nature with a high intelligence quotient, and you have me to thank for saving your ass out there.”
David stared at Hayworth, unwilling to back down. “Only a fool says there is no God, Doctor.”
“Ah yes, isn’t that line from the Psalms?” Hayworth inquired.
“Yes, it is. Have you read the Torah?”
Hayworth’s expression took on a hard stare. “I was raised an atheist by my parents, but my wife was a Christian. I’ve never had faith in anything but science, but once she asked me to read the Bible, and I agreed. Oh, she believed that God not only existed, but actually cared about her. Little good it did her when she got sick and medical science couldn’t save her. Where was that magical God then? He doesn’t exist. Do yourself a favor and accept that, Colonel. You’re a smart man. I’ve seen that. You shouldn’t concern yourself with fairy tales to keep the children behaving.”
David sucked in a breath. Perhaps the events in life the doctor had gone through had colored his views; that was somewhat easier for David to accept rather than the nonstop insults to those who believed coming from Hayworth. “Doctor, you will never shake my belief in God,” he said forcefully.
“Really…then why did your God let Major Thompson die?”
David felt Hayworth’s argument sting deep in his heart. “God didn’t let her die, Doctor. She made a choice to do what she believed in. She put another’s life ahead of her own. That’s what she believed she had to do.”
Hayworth smirked. “Ah, religious people try to have it two ways. Which is it? Do we have free will or does God have a plan and pull our strings?”
“Is it so hard to believe that HaShem has a desire for us to do certain things but chooses not to force us? From my perspective, why would a supernatural being with the power to do anything he desires force us to do his will? He wants us to choose to do right, Doctor.” David paused for a moment. “I must ask. If you dislike those of us who have faith as much as you would like to make me think...why are you here?”
Hayworth looked past him. “Tell me, Colonel, if you could, would you force me to believe what you do?”
A look of revulsion crossed David’s face. “Is that a serious question, Doctor? I would never force another to believe what I do. In fact, I would, and do, put my life on the line on a daily basis for your right to believe in anything you want, including nothing.”
Hayworth pursed his lips together in acceptance to David’s response. “And that is why I am here, Colonel. I may not agree with the stated beliefs of ninety-eight percent of the Terran Coalition’s citizens, but at least I’ve got the right to believe what I want and do what I want.”
David leaned back in his chair as Hayworth continued. “I’d like to ask you, though; do you ever question your beliefs? Do you ever consider that you may be wrong?” he asked.
“I have many times. I’ve questioned God’s existence, and why bad things happen to seemingly good people.”
“And?”
“I cannot find a more logical explanation for our existence than a creator. Are you familiar with ‘Pascal’s Wager’?” David asked, referencing the work of Blaise Pascal, who created an argument that humans bet with their lives that God either exists or does not exist.
Hayworth raised a hand. “Colonel, just as I cannot shake your belief, you cannot shake mine.”
“Fair enough, Doctor. A counter question… do you ever question your beliefs?”
Hayworth regarded David for a moment. “Every day, Colonel. Every day.” He stood to leave. “For all our sakes, Colonel, if your supernatural being does exist, I hope it’s behind you. I’ll do what I can to give you the best tools possible in the meanwhile. I trust you will use them to the best of your ability.”
“Of course, Doctor,” David grated out.
“Good day, Colonel.” Hayworth turned on his heel and walked out. Ruminating on what Hayworth had said, David thought back to how Sheila would have told him not to judge the man, but to offer him the benefit of the doubt. After understanding at least some of what drove the doctor’s beliefs, he now had some level of understanding of him and resolved to try not to let his annoyance show through. Thinking about how much he missed Sheila, he put himself back into reviewing reports.
44
David glanced around the set of the holonews program, a different channel from his last advent
ure in the media. Canaan News Network had an editorial viewpoint markedly different from his last interviewer’s take on the war, for which he was grateful. Even so, he wanted to be careful not to “spike the football,” so to speak. His emotions were still conflicted, but for the most part, he was back on a fairly even keel. More than anything, he wanted to get the public relations work out of the way and get back to what he knew had to be done; taking the war to the League.
Seated in the interview chair, David waited patiently for the interviewer, a holonet pundit by the name of Karen Byrne. As he waited, he ran over the talking points that General MacIntosh had drilled into him about the war, focusing on the entry of the Saurians and the rekindling of the Canaan Alliance.
After a few minutes, Byrne walked in, flashing an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting, Colonel. I had a last-minute change in the next guest that I had to prepare for.”
David stood and offered his hand. “No problem at all, ma’am.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, she took the offered hand and shook it with a grip that surprised David. “All ready?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Before we start, I’d like to say that, off the record, what you and your crew have done last week has given me and a lot of other people in the Terran Coalition hope that we can finally win this war.”
“That means a lot, Ms. Byrne. But the credit belongs to my crew, not me.”
“Please, call me Karen.” She smiled. “My interview notes said you were humble. That’s a nice trait, Colonel, but let me give you some advice…you’re a hero. Own it. If for no other reason than it helps our cause to have a hero, especially right now.”
“I’m not a hero,” David said, sadness lacing his voice. “The real heroes were the men and women that returned home in flag-draped caskets.”