by L. A. Casey
"How do you know that?" I murmured.
Alec put his arms around me and looked down at my now tear filled eyes. "I told you, I watch the Discovery Channel."
"I'm so hot for you right now," I declared making Alec laugh.
I wasn't joking.
I leaned up and kissed him.
God, I was lucky.
When our kiss broke I said, "I love you to Neptune and back, too."
Alec beamed and said, "Good, I expect nothing less from my future wife."
Wife.
"Holy fuck, we're gettin' married."
"Yep, and since it's in serious haste, I say we do everything ass backwards. How do you feel about getting knocked up tonight?"
I burst into laughter. "Slow down, Romeo, let's just deal with the knowledge that we're gettin' married. Babies can come later... much later."
Alec shrugged. "Fine by me, I get to keep you to myself for longer."
"Alec, Keela... dinner!"
Alec slapped my behind. "Come on, she gives away seconds when she is in a good mood."
I chuckled and followed Alec into the kitchen. I sat down next him and winked at Kane who was on the other side of me. Everyone was silent then and still as statues, everyone except Aideen who reached for the mashed potatoes first.
"First!" everyone shouted making me and Aideen jump with fright.
"What?" I asked.
"Aideen reached for dinner first so she has to say grace."
Oh, nice.
Aideen groaned. "That's not fair, I didn't know you lot did that!"
"Say grace, please," Nico pleaded and stared at the food on the table.
I snickered at him.
"Okay, fine."
Everyone held hands and lowered their heads.
"Hey God, it's me... Aideen Collins. I know we haven't spoken in a long time, since you took me ma away from me when I was a little girl. The Slater’s are making me pray to you so I can eat their food. I don't want to be rude so I'm doin' as asked, I hope this is good enough because I've no idea what else to say to you... Oh, I know, bless this house and everyone it in it. Thanks. Amen."
"Amen," everyone chorused.
I covered my mouth with my hand as my shoulders began to shake.
Alec and Kane were both the first to laugh out loud, and everyone quickly followed suit.
"I hope you don't lead morning prayers in your classroom, Aideen," Alec laughed.
She rolled her eyes. "I pick different kids every day to do that actually."
"Thank God," Kane murmured.
Aideen cut her eyes to him and snarled, "This is exactly why I'm such a bitch to you!"
"What is 'this'? Do you have a list of reasons or something?" Kane asked, amused.
Aideen's eyed twitched. "Yeah, I've two reasons as to why I’m a bitch to you. Number one, you're fuckin' stupid. Number two, see number one!"
I burst out laughing.
"That was just rude," Kane said and shook his head.
We all chuckled and dug into the food Branna made for us, and let me tell you it was so good. We discussed random things all through dinner, there was no mention of the previous week's events and that couldn't have made me happier.
"That was amazing, Bran. Thanks." Nico beamed and leaned back in his chair, more than stuffed from the looks of things.
Nico caught me staring at him so he winked and blew a kiss which made me laugh.
"Leave the girl alone, she doesn't want your nasty arse makin' kissy faces at her."
Nico looked at Bronagh and grinned. "Every girl wants my sexy ass making kissy faces at them."
Bronagh rolled her eyes. "Is that so?"
"It is."
"Too bad all those girls don't have to deal with your man-child arse."
Nico snorted. "They would happily deal with me if they knew that I have to deal with your phat ass all by myself."
Oh, no he didn't.
"Nico, you bastard, you don't ever say a girl has a fat arse. Are you fuckin' serious?" I snapped.
All the males looked to me and groaned.
"A phat ass is a good thing!" they stated in unison.
"On what universe is sayin' someone has a fat arse a good-"
"Alec! Sort your woman out and explain it to her. I cannot go through this again, it took me years to convince Bronagh I'm not insulting her. I’ll fucking cry if I have to go through that again."
"I'll explain later," Alec murmured as he watched the couple across from us.
Bronagh turned to Nico and glared.
"One, two, three, four, five-"
"Dominic leave the room," Ryder murmured.
Nico was already on his feet and all but ran out of the room.
"-Nine, ten." Bronagh finished counting and opened her eyes.
She blew out a big breath and said, "I'm goin' for a run on the treadmill."
When Bronagh left the kitchen, I looked at Alec to find he was rubbing his face with his hands. "What the hell was that?"
Alec removed his hands and sighed. "That was Dominic and Bronagh, kitten."
I raised my eyebrows. "They have short fuses."
"You don't know the half of it."
"Have they ever thought of anger manag-"
"Bronagh starts classes next week," Branna cut me off.
I nodded my head. "Good for her."
"Yeah, but God help that class when Hurricane Bronagh blows through," Ryder murmured.
"I heard that!"
Ryder widened his eyes and shouted, "Just kidding."
I chuckled and looked at Kane and noticed he didn't eat much. "How are you feelin'?"
Kane looked to me with tired eyes and smiled. "Good."
I gave him a frown that he chuckled over. "It's just the flu, I'll be fine."
Branna huffed. "It's been almost three weeks, it's not the fuckin' flu. You need to go to the hospital."
Wow.
He was that ill?
"Bran, it will pass-"
"You aren't a doctor so don't try pacify me, Kane."
Kane sighed. "If it will make you feel better, I'll go to the doctor during the week to get seen, okay?"
Branna stared Kane down. "I'm goin' with you."
"Oh for the love of God," Kane muttered. "Fine, okay."
Everyone lightly chuckled, but I got a sick feeling in my stomach when I looked at Kane.
I hoped he was all right and that it was just the flu.
Alec put his arm around my shoulders and grinned getting my full attention.
"Welcome to the family, kitten."
"We have to get a bigger place," Alec murmured to me as I wiped down my kitchen table.
We were both in the kitchen and bumped off each other about ten times as we cleaned.
I sighed. "It's annoyin' I know, but we can start looking after I get a new job, I still can't fucking believe I got sacked for staying out a day longer than I said I would. Why would they even want me there on the tills? I'll only scare the costumers with my face bein' so messed up."
Alec frowned. "Why don't you just focus on writing and let that be your job?"
I laughed. "Because I actually need an income to support us. That's why."
"Keela, you know I have a lot of money... right?"
I looked at Alec. "You do?"
He nodded. "We can buy own place outright tomorrow if you want too."
I widened my eyes. "That much money?"
"I earned a lot working for Marco and I'm not a huge spender. I have close to four million Euros sitting in my bank account right now."
My finger was around a cleaning spray bottle, and when Alec said that high number, my fingers automatically pulled on the spray trigger.
Holy fuck!
"Why do you live with you brothers if you have so much money?"
Alec shrugged. "We each have a lot of money... and none of us ever lived on our own before. We saw no reason to until Bronagh, Branna, and you came along. Myself and my brothers are very close, we only ha
d each other growing up."
I frowned. "I know, babe."
Alec smiled at me. "Then it's settled we can buy a house soon, preferably in Upton, and you can focus on writing as your work."
I smiled only because I didn't trust myself to speak.
"What's wrong?" Alec asked.
I shrugged.
"Tell me."
I sighed. "I've takin' care of meself all me life. I refused me uncle’s help at every turn and banned me mother's. I don't feel right lettin' you just buy a house for us-"
"My money is your money. We're engaged Keela, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine."
I sighed. "I guess... but it still feels weird."
"This all feels weird because we jumped into things very fast. We will get used to it, just give it time."
I nodded my head.
Alec smiled. "So your book... when do I get to read it?"
I gasped. "You're not readin' it."
"Why not?" Alec asked, hurt in his voice.
I flushed. "Because I don't want you to read the... dirty scenes."
Alec smirked. "Kitten, I'm sure your scenes are things I've done to you-"
"Exactly so you're not readin' them."
Alec snickered. "Don't get your panties in a twist about it."
"I'm not a violent person Alec. God knows I'm not, but I swear to him that if you call knickers 'panties' one more feckin' time, I will strangle you with a thong!"
Alec shook his head as he laughed.
"Come on, I like reading. I won't read it as your man, I'll read it as a bete reader person."
I laughed. "You mean beta reader?"
"If that's what you did for your friend Yessi and Mary on their books, then yes, that."
I groaned. "I just finished the first draft, I don't even know if I'm goin' to self-publish-"
"Why not?" Alec cut me off.
"Because what if no one approves?"
Alec arched a brow. "You mean readers or people you know i.e. your mom?"
I nodded my head. "She will slam it when she finds out about it, she doesn't like smut books."
"What is smut?"
I shrugged. "Books that have erotica in them. Sex."
"But your book has romance too, sex is a part of romance."
I laughed. "Not with my mother."
"Baby, I mean this in nicest way possible but fuck your mom. If you want to publish a book about sex and love then fucking publish a book about sex and love. Fuck everyone who has a negative opinion on it. They only hate on your ideas and dreams because they have no ideas and dreams. Do this for you, no one else. Do you understand?"
I felt my heart pounding against my chest. I loved him for having so much faith in me.
"I hear you, I really do, but what if I'm not good enough? What if this is impossible? Just writin' a book isn't enough. The fuckin' line I need to cross to actually self-publish might as well be invisible. I can see it, but can't get to it. It's so damn hard."
Alec gripped my shoulders. "Those who can see the invisible can do what seems impossible."
I leaned my head forward and rested it against his chin. "You're amazin'."
"I know."
Smartarse.
I pulled back and stared up into his eyes. "You're gettin' very deep on me."
Alec's hands gripped my behind. "I'll be getting very deep in you if you keep looking at me like that."
I couldn't help it, I giggled.
"The only person who can stand in your way is you, kitten, no one else." Alec brushed his nose against mine. "And that's not an option, right?"
I nodded my head. "Right."
Alec smiled. "So I can beta read your book?"
I sighed. "Sure, why not?"
Alec punched the air in delight and it made me laugh, but my laughter stopped when three loud bangs thudded against my hall door.
"Gird your loins, the devil is here," I murmured.
I walked over to my door, looked through the peephole and sighed when I saw my mother's less than amused face on the other side. I opened the door and let her in.
"Hello, mother."
My mother walked inside my apartment.
"Keela, Alec." She nodded.
I closed the door already wishing she was walking back out through it.
"You missed your cousin's wedding, Keela."
I sighed and turned around. "Yes mother, I did."
My mother was furious.
"I can't believe you would be so selfish."
Selfish?
"You don't know what you're talkin' about, mother."
My mother began to pace up and down. "Your uncle tried to make excuses for you. Even Micah was okay that you couldn't be there, but I wasn't. You should have been there."
"Well, I wasn't and you know somethin'? I don't care that I wasn't there. Me and Micah are not close ma, I don't think we ever will be. I can't stand Jason, he is a disgustin' person so when the opportunity came for me to leave the resort I took it. So sue me."
My mother snarled, "You always think about yourself."
I laughed. "No, ma, I don't think about meself enough."
"I can't believe I birthed such an evil cow."
Her words stung but I could do nothing but laugh.
"That is all you ever did. You gave birth to me, that's it as far as bein' a mother goes for you."
"Why you ungrateful little, bitch! I gave you everything growing up!"
I exploded.
"You gave me toys and other materialistic things! You never gave me love. You made me feel like a burden, you still make me feel like a burden and I'm fuckin' done with it. I'm done with you!"
My mother stepped back like I’d slapped her.
"What would you do without me?"
I looked at Alec and smiled. "I will be happy."
My mother looked at Alec then back at me.
"Fine, enjoy your little romance but when it goes belly up and this one leaves you for a better looking woman don't come crying to me."
The fucking nerve!
"I can assure you, you will be the last person I ever go to for help or comfort."
My mother took a step closer to me. "You're like your scumbag father, impossible to love."
I wanted to cry but I refused.
"You know what, ma? It's doesn't matter what you say or think about me. What matters is the way I feel about myself and I fuckin' love meself!" I said with my chest pushed out and my head held high.
"I love herself as well, just putting that out there."
I stood a bit taller when Alec came to my side and put his arm around my waist.
"This won't last," my mother hissed.
"Get out of me house and don't ever come back."
My mother stayed put.
Alec cleared his throat. "I believe my fiancee asked you to leave, ma'am."
My mother was so shocked at Alec's declaration that she only stared at us both.
I moved away from Alec and walked to the door, opening it wide.
"Goodbye, mother."
My mother composed herself and stuck her chin out. She left my apartment and turned to face me before she walked down the hallway. "I won't miss you."
I swallowed. "I feel sorry for you. You're a bitter woman with nobody. I have a fiancé and a new family that means a million times more to me than you ever did. Have a nice life mother, because I sure as hell will."
I closed the door in her face and froze.
Did that just happen?
"Kitten?"
I took a deep breath. "I'm fine, I'm okay."
I turned to Alec and smiled, but at the same time tears fell from my eyes.
"Baby," Alec whispered.
I moved to him and wrapped my arms around his body.
"I'm not sad, I'm relieved."
Alec kissed the crown of my head. "I'm proud of you."
I hugged him tightly. "I'm proud of me too."
We were silent for a few minutes until Alec spoke.
"You know what I think you should do now?"
"What?"
"Forgive Micah and Jason."
Excuse me?
I pulled back from Alec. "What?"
"I know it seems crazy, but you just made peace with yourself and released yourself from you mother. It's time to do the same with Micah and Jason. You don't have to like them or involve them in your life, but you should forgive them."
I widened my eyes. "You want me to forgive him for doin' me wrong and forgive her for treaten' me like dirt all me life?"
Alec nodded his head. "Yeah, I do. I care about you so much Keela, and I refuse to watch you become a hateful person because of them. You don't have to like them, but forgive them."
I felt my eyes well up. "But why? Why can't I just hate them?"
Alec stepped forward and took me in his arms. "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It eats away at you until it consumes you completely."
I frowned.
"Weak people seek revenge, strong people forgive, and intelligent people ignore. Which one are you?" Alec asked me.
I thought about it for a moment then said, "I'm all three. I'm a strong, intelligent person who sometimes has weak moments."
"You know what that makes you?"
I shook my head.
Alec smiled. "It makes you human, kitten."
I processed what he said; it took me a few minutes but I eventually nodded my head.
He was right.
I closed my eyes and thought about Micah and Jason. I thought about how horrible Micah was to me all my life, and how cruel Jason was. Even though nothing would change the past, I just thought about the three simple words that would change how I shaped my future.
I forgive you.
I wouldn't let Micah get me down anymore.
I forgive you.
I wouldn't let Jason have a hold over me anymore.
I forgive you.
I wouldn't let either of them have any impact on my life, none whatsoever.
I forgive you.
I blinked open my eyes and smiled at Alec. "I think it will take some time to be uncarin' when it comes to them, but I forgive them... Besides, Micah said at the weddin' she was workin' on not actin' like such a bitch all the time. There may be hope for her yet."
Alec kissed my forehead. "You're free, kitten."
I exhaled. "I feel it."
"Well, you're semi-free. I put a ring on it after all."