So Many Boys

by Suzanne Young

  “And my boyfriend? Were you planning on moving on with him?” Her blue eyes were wide with rage. I hardly recognized her.

  “What? No?” But my voice squeaked, making my denial sound more like an admission of guilt. It was true: I hadn’t planned on stealing Kira’s boyfriend. I mean, yes, I had feelings for him, but I’d never planned that!

  “You’re no better than any of the cheaters we’ve ever followed,” she hissed, holding my stare. She exhaled, blinking quickly. “When you ended SOS, I supported you. I trusted you, but then I saw that you were doing it for Aiden, not for us. Not for the girls of the school. And after I met Joel, I thought I could handle it all.” She laughed self-consciously. “But I couldn’t. And then every day I had to listen to people tell me, ‘Why isn’t Tessa leading the squad?’ How do you think that felt? Then I thought, well, maybe if I let her on the squad, everyone will see how much better I am.” She leaned in toward me. “I even tried to set you up with Chris to keep you out of trouble, and instead what do you do? You try to steal my boyfriend. Stabbed in the back by my best friend.”

  “Me? Kira, you were sneaking around spying on me! You broke into my house, and that was long before me and Joel—”

  “He’s mine!” she shouted.

  “You can’t own someone, Kira! And besides, you’re not even going out anymore. He told me.”

  With an audible growl, she tackled me, her petite body crashing into mine and knocking us back and onto the floor. We landed with a thud onto the hardwood, sending a vibration up my arm as my elbow made contact.

  For a second, we both just lay there. Neither of us was really a fighter. It was way too violent. “Ow,” Kira said, rubbing at her forehead, which had smacked the ground next to me. She collapsed on the floor with a sigh, both of us breathing heavy. I turned to look sideways at her.

  “I was captain,” she groaned, sounding exhausted. “SOS was mine to fix. I was making it better.”

  “No,” I said, wincing as I sat up. I looked at my elbow to see it was skinned, little scratches of blood beginning to show. “You were making it about vengeance. It was supposed to help people, not hurt them. And it’s not your fault you were failing. SOS was a team sport, K. No one Kitten could have pulled it off alone.”

  She dropped her arms to her sides, staring up at the beams of the ceiling. “I wanted to stop cheaters. I wanted to make them pay.”

  “You were wrong,” I said. “It was never the intent of SOS to exact revenge.” But sitting here now, bruised and bloodied on the gym floor, I realized my part in this mess. I thrust the captainship on her, then abandoned her to figure it out on her own. I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, K. I was wrong.”

  I rested my chin on my bare shoulder as I looked back at her. Her eyes snapped to mine, studying me, maybe checking to see if I was sorry. She sat up with a few pained grunts.

  “You know, we still have some things to decide,” she murmured. “SOS can’t stop now. And even if you get back on the squad, they’ll never trust you like they used to.”

  I nodded. “I have some things to make up for,” I admitted. “And now that people know about SOS, they’ll never stop searching for us. Not unless we can prove we stand for good.”

  “Maybe my way is better,” she said, glancing toward me.

  “It’s not.” I watched her as she smiled a little, like she was going to challenge everything from here on out.

  “I’m still the captain of the Smitten Kittens,” she said.

  I couldn’t believe that after everything she’d done, all the lying, she was still adamant about being the captain. I felt anger course through me.

  “Oh,” I said. “You’re hereby relieved of captain duty. And possibly off the squad. I’ll let the Smitten Kittens vote on it.”

  “Go for it. Some of them will stand with me.”

  I considered this. “Not all of them.” But she was right. The squad would be split, and that was no way to cheer. I’d need to figure out a way to bring us back together. Fake friends for the sake of school spirit. At least for a little while.

  “Co-captains, then?” I asked, my elbow throbbing.

  Kira sneered. “One more thing for us to share.”

  “After a mandatory suspension, of course. Let’s say the rest of the football season. We’ll see you during basketball.” It was a harsh sentence, but really, she didn’t have room to complain. She was lucky I wasn’t calling the police.

  The gym doors opened with a metal click, and Leona came rushing in followed by Izzie and the rest of the squad. They skidded to a stop when they saw Kira and me sitting on the floor of center court.

  “You okay?” Leona called to me. I waved, letting her know I was. At least physically.

  Kira smiled, but I knew that smile. It was completely fake—totally inauthentic. It made my heart sink because right then I knew. I knew that things between Kira and me would never be the same.

  “Kira’s going to be suspended for the season,” I announced, still sitting down. “She’s admitted fault, and we hope to just move on from here. Repair the squad.”

  There was a series of murmurs and quiet patters as the team crossed the gym in their spying outfits.

  “But I’ll be back soon,” Kira said, like it wasn’t a big deal. “Co-captain for basketball. You all know I love you and I won’t abandon you.” She looked sideways at me.

  Ooh…that really peeved me, but I was trying to keep a brave face. Leona shot Kira a dirty look, then outstretched her hand to mine.

  I took it, smiling and blinking back my tears. She was choosing me. She was on my side of the foul line. When I tried to stand up, I was lopsided. I looked down at my foot, noticing that one of my shoes was missing. I glanced around quickly, but it was nowhere in sight. I’d wondered if it had flown under the bleachers when I’d been tackled.

  Kira tsked as she slowly climbed up, smoothing back her blonde hair with her hands and avoiding eye contact. “Whatever,” she mumbled.

  Izzie stood apart from all of us, looking between Kira and me. She chewed on her lip, switching from foot to foot.

  “Izzie—” I started, but she shook her head.

  “I’m sorry, Tess,” she whispered, dropping her eyes and crossing the court to stand behind Kira.

  My mouth opened, and I was wounded, betrayed. But I didn’t say anything. She’d made her choice.

  “She can’t help you get Sam back,” Leona said to her, obviously as bothered by Izzie’s lack of loyalty as I was.

  “We’ll see,” Kira answered for her. Looking back over her shoulder to Izzie. “Sam isn’t out of the picture yet.” She smiled at her, then glanced at me. “Unless Tessa wants him, of course.”

  “Oh, shove it!” Leona said, and I had to reach out to hold her back. I couldn’t believe that this was what we’d dissolved into. It was tragic. Complete Death of a Salesman tragic.

  “The fake SOS is over now,” I said to all of them, rolling back my shoulders. “Look, we all make mistakes, but we can’t hold animosity toward each other. School spirit is on the line. We have to stick this landing and get through this.”

  “I’m glad you’re back,” Leona replied, her voice crisp. Then she smiled. “Without a leader, we were just Kittens. You brought the Smitten.”

  “You had a leader,” Kira snapped, darting a glance her way.

  Leona shook her head. “I have one now.” Leona turned her back to Kira and looked at the rest of the girls. “Tessa’s right. We need to let this go. We are not rogue Kittens. None of us should do things against the squad. No matter how jealous we might get.” She smiled. “Now. Let’s get back to that homecoming dance.”

  “Yes, let’s,” Kira murmured.

  Leona spun around and tilted her head, studying Kira. “I don’t know about you, but I have to go home to change. You’re not going to wear that, are you?” Leona asked with a smirk, motioning to Kira’s black outfit that was now covered in dust.

  “No,” Kira hissed.
“My dress is in my locker.”

  “Classy.”

  I watched Kira’s jaw clench, but then she began to brush the dirt from the gymnasium floor off of her clothes. Izzie chewed on her lip, looking between Kira and me, and then she shrugged.

  “So we’re still a squad?” she asked, her voice meek.

  “Yes.” I nodded, although I wasn’t sure if that was true anymore. But for now, I’d have to pretend it was.

  “Great.” Izzie exhaled, rubbing her stomach. “I’m starving.”

  I pressed my lips together, nodding for the squad to go ahead, waiting until Kira and I were alone again. We turned to look at each other.

  “One other thing,” Kira said, focusing her big blue eyes on me. “I…” She paused, looking uncomfortable with what she was about to say. “I love him.”

  I swallowed hard and nodded.

  “I love him, Tessa. So…” She looked away and then back at me. “So leave him alone, okay?”

  My face stung. Not just because my ex-best friend had practically accused me of trying to steal her boyfriend, but also because…she was right to worry. And I knew that.

  “I’ll leave him alone.” I nodded, wishing that things could go back to the way they were. But Kira and I were like SOS. We’d have to rebuild—even if we could never get to where we’d been before.

  SOS IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

  Dear Clients,

  This is an important announcement regarding SOS and its future dealings. During the last few months, an imposter infiltrated SOS. The situation has been handled, and the proper investigators are back on duty.

  In the meantime, the real SOS has reinstated its former leader and is getting back to basics. We are a nonprofit organization and exist only on donations from our benefactors. In addition, there will be no more revenge, although matchmaking is still a possibility.

  We are also returning to our top-secret status, and you can be assured that all the information collected will remain confidential. Although we are still trying to get the previously loaded videos off of YouTube.

  SOS is looking forward to salvaging our reputations and rebuilding your trust.

  If you suspect your boyfriend in a cheat, please send a cheater request to 555-0101.

  Keep smiling,

  SOS ☺

  SOS

  Text: 555-0101 * Exposing Cheaters for Over Three Years

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  WHEN I HOBBLED INTO THE CAFETERIA (STILL minus a shoe), my emotions were completely tied in lopsided bows. I stood, looking over the student body, unsure of where to begin.

  Maybe it was the paper flowers or homecoming ribbons on the walls or the alternating red and blue lighting, but this place was romantic. And I didn’t belong here. Not without Aiden.

  I reached down to slip off my other shoe before making my way back out of the dance and down the deserted hallway. The sound of music slowly faded behind me, and I wondered where I should go. What I should do.

  But going home didn’t sound glorious, and the Smitten Kittens were all inside, enjoying their nights. And I wouldn’t bring them down. Not when we’d finally solved the copy-Kitten crisis. Only they didn’t know the real devastation. I’d have to fake it until we make it. No matter how much it hurt.

  I paused and looked through the glass window of the exit door. I could see the filled parking lot, the streamers hanging on the cars for the parade at the end of the dance. It was so peppy that I had to smile.

  I pushed hard on the heavy metal door and had made my way across the cement when I spotted the football field behind the parking lot. I laughed at myself. How obvious—where else would a cheerleader go to think?

  When I got there, I sat down on the cool metal bleacher, looking out at the pieces of confetti littering the football field to prep it for the celebration. There was a chill in the air, so I wrapped my arms around my torso and glanced up at the scoreboard. Wildcats vs. Ducks. Even though I hadn’t been a cheerleader in months, my school spirit had never faded.

  I closed my eyes as a gust of wind blew through my hair, sending it back from my face. Behind my lids, I could feel tears, hot, salty.

  Aiden was gone. He didn’t belong to me anymore, and really, maybe he never had. Maybe we just weren’t right, no matter how much we felt like we were. And even though I missed him, I didn’t miss the confusion.

  And Kira. I shook my head, not wanting to think about what she’d done, the ways she’d betrayed me. After all of our time together, she’d written me off. She wanted to hurt me.

  I put my hands over my face, trying to block out the questions. The lies. Suddenly I felt something warm wrap around me and I spun around to see Joel standing there.

  “Sorry,” he said, smiling slightly. “You just look cold.”

  “I am.” Inside and out. But it was certainly nice to see him.

  He adjusted his coat around my shoulders before stepping over the bleacher and sitting down next to me. His thigh pressed against mine, and I wondered if he realized how close he was.

  I slipped my arms into the sleeves of the jacket and used my fingertips to hold it closed. Even with company, my heart was still aching. Joel shifted next to me and I looked over at him.

  The wind blew his brown hair around, and when he smiled, warm and imperfect, I felt myself smile back. “Hi,” he whispered, like we’d just started talking.

  “Hi.”

  “You left the dance,” he said, running his glance down the length of my dress to my bare feet. “Did you lose your shoe, Cinderella?”

  I didn’t want to tell him that his girlfriend had freaked out and physically assaulted me. Instead, “I lost it in the gym.”

  Joel nodded. “That’s sort of funny,” he said. I raised my eyebrow, not quite sure what could be funny about me walking around barefoot, holding my remaining shoe.

  Joel reached over, and my heart sped up as he slipped his hand into the pocket of his coat (which just so happened to be against my body).

  “I went back to the gym to look for you and…wait,” he said, close enough that his breath was warm against my face. “It’s not midnight, is it?”

  “No,” I murmured, not sure how to move anymore. Because I was fairly certain I should pull back in some way. Instead I sat there, nearly lip to lip with Kira’s ex-boyfriend.

  “Good,” he whispered. “I wouldn’t want you turning into a pumpkin or anything.”

  Okay, if Joel was drinking, I would probably have been able to smell it on his breath at this distance. But he seemed completely lucid. Completely—

  Just then he pulled his hand out of his jacket pocket (which, again, had been against my body the entire time) and held up a shoe. My shoe.

  “I found your glass slipper,” he said with a huge smile on his face.

  I looked between Joel and my yellow size six and a half and felt my entire body tingle. He shouldn’t be here with me. He shouldn’t be rescuing my shoe.

  “Thank you.”

  “Does this mean I’m Prince Charming?” he asked, licking his lips as he glanced at mine. “I can slay a dragon if you need me to.”

  I stared into his soft hazel eyes, feeling both lost and safe. “No dragons in Cinderella,” I murmured, my breath quickening.

  “Yeah.” He smiled. “I never believed in that fairy-tale bullshit anyway.” Joel leaned over like he was about to kiss me. Then he moved his head and gently pressed his lips to my cheek, touching me so softly that for a minute, I wasn’t sure if it was real.

  I shut my eyes, aware that being this close to my ex-best friend’s ex-boyfriend in the bleachers of the football field was completely unethical, both socially and athletically. But the way Joel touched me was so right. It was exactly what I needed, maybe all along.

  With a whisper of a kiss, he pulled back only to rest his forehead against mine, his warm breath tickling my face. “I’m such a chicken,” he said with a quick laugh.

  There was another breeze and I felt the rush of air on my toes. Stra
ightening up, I glanced at my high heel, still in Joel’s hand. I smiled. “Would you mind?” I asked, crossing my legs to hold my bare foot in his direction.

  He stared at my toes for a long moment, then scrunched his nose and looked over at me. “Actually, I do.” He held out my shoe to me. “I have a weird thing with feet. They sort of gross me out.”

  I gasped, not because it was a horrible thing, but because it was a different thing.

  “Not that your feet are gross,” Joel said quickly, looking like he was worried. “I’m not saying that. They are very cute feet.” He cringed a little. “It’s just…I don’t like anyone’s feet. I…I’m just going to shut up now.” He laughed and handed me my shoe.

  Slipping it on quickly and then adding the other, I placed both feet back onto the floor of the bleachers and looked up as Joel examined them. “See, now they look cute.”

  “Oh, thanks.”

  Joel narrowed his eyes, glancing over me adorably. “You like me, don’t you?”

  I met his eyes without lifting my head. “Maybe.”

  He grinned. “ ‘Maybe’ means you’re incredibly in love with me.”

  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I said. If there was one word I wouldn’t throw around again, that was it. In fact, there was a good chance I’d never love anyone again.

  “ ‘Ahead of ourselves’ means you want to jump my bones right here in the Washington High bleachers.” He held up his hands. “But I’m sorry, Tess. I’m not that kind of boy.”

  “Stop.” I laughed. Okay, maybe “never love again” was a bit overdramatic. “You know, you’re sort of funny?” I asked, taking a strand of my hair and twisting it like I was bored. “You should really think about becoming a stand-up comedian or something.”

  Joel made a face and then smiled. “I have a better idea,” he said, standing up and extending his hand to me.

  I was scared to take it. What if my back spasmed again? What if—

  “Take my hand,” he whispered, his face becoming serious. “Be with me.”

  My stomach fluttered with anxious butterflies. He was right. I did like him. Without thinking anymore, I slid my cool palm into his, immediately comforted by his warmth. Joel pulled me to my feet and stood me up close to him. Carefully he put his hands on either side of my waist as I put my hands behind his neck.