Massoud (Massoud Chronicles Book 1)

  He looked to her, as if for an explanation. She could only speak from her own experiences.

  “I’ve had to deal with all sorts of emotions for as long as I can remember. They’re not all positive, and not all of them can be managed or reasoned away. However, when things are good, I enjoy them. This helps balance out the negative and confusing moments.” She reached over and squeezed his hand. “Until we find a more professional solution to your health issues, why don’t you enjoy what is good about this moment in time, without worrying about the future or brooding over the past. Let’s just enjoy today and deal with the rest tomorrow. It’s our wedding day and we are surrounded by well-wishers. Today is our day to be happy.”

  Teloc smiled weakly. “Are you suggesting that I should just decide to be happy?”

  “Exactly!”

  “I can try,” he said uncertainly.

  Just then, her eldest nephew, Mo, wheeled around the corner. “Come quick! Dad is teaching the Gnostians to dance. He told them it’s a custom and they have to do it. It’s hilarious. Come and see. You should do it too, Uncle Teloc!”

  Mo disappeared as quickly as he had arrived. Elizabeth looked askance at Teloc.

  “If it is customary, then perhaps I should try to dance, and try to enjoy it.”

  Elizabeth squeezed his hand again. “Please don’t let Abdul teach you to dance. Trust me in this.”

  They returned to Noor’s apartment and Teloc entered into the festivities with as much spirit as he could muster. The guests demonstrated increased tolerance of his social gaucheness, since his affection towards his bride had passed muster. At last, the group dissipated and the newly-weds found themselves wandering towards Elizabeth’s apartment laden with containers of leftover food. The clear, crisp night revealed the stars in the heavens, and the cool air was delightful to a pregnant woman’s overheated body. However, Elizabeth was footsore and Teloc took all the parcels despite her objections, reminding her that the weight was no burden to him. His words refreshed her memories of their struggles on Seven B. Just a moment before, she had taken out her slate to order a refrigerator delivered to her home. She marveled at this commonplace expression of civilization, standing in stark contrast to their perilous and primeval experiences on Seven B.

  She was uncertain, at this point, what was to happen between herself and her new husband. Their marriage was founded on his immigration needs and had been hastily arranged. They had spent inadequate time together to engage in a discussion relating to the shape and structure of their relationship. They had discussed their child’s needs; that was all. She knew that physical intimacy would not occur unless he unexpectedly regressed into the myash but wondered whether that meant all aspects of a conventional marriage were barred to them. To what degree would they share a life together?

  She had already concluded that there was one point essential to her. She would ask him to spend the night in her apartment. Otherwise, in this city, someone they knew would see him going home. She would be deeply shamed to have it known that her groom left her alone on her wedding night.

  Once in her apartment, Teloc placed the food on her counter while she went to retrieve the refrigerator from the delivery elevator. The appliance was stuck on a worn roller and she tugged ineffectively to free it. Her body froze and then turned instantly to fire at the sensation of Teloc’s hands on what used to be her waist.

  “Let me do that. You must not injure yourself,” he insisted. He worked with the recalcitrant appliance, while Elizabeth placed herself primly on the sofa, once again lecturing herself to stop reacting to his touch so intensely. She would have to get used to these humdrum interactions.

  She glanced at the table beside her seat and spied a new copy of the Koran. She immediately knew that Noor had placed it there as part of her ever-persistent efforts to pull Elizabeth back to the faith. Checking that Teloc was not watching, Elizabeth held the book over her own head a little self-consciously. It was not exactly a traditional move, but it was a reasonable approximation in the absence of an in-law to welcome her to her marital home.

  Finally, Teloc finished positioning the refrigerator and filled it with Noor’s abundance of food. He stood uneasily beside the sofa, expressing indecision with his body language. Elizabeth broke the unstable silence.

  “Teloc, we’ve never really talked about what our marriage would be like. I mean, how we are going to manage on a day to day basis. Have you had any thoughts about that?”

  Teloc appeared to be relieved at the direction of the conversation and adopted a pragmatic tone, one very familiar to his former first officer. “Indeed. I have been considering our living arrangements. Both of us have dis-assemblable apartments. However, the child will need a permanent residence. New accommodation will be required.”

  Elizabeth concurred. Like many fleet personnel, they only needed their apartments for three months of the year, so they each rented in a building with a two-hundred percent occupancy rate, earning a steep discount on rent. When they were off-world, their apartments were packed up, walls and all, and placed in storage. Changing to fulltime occupancy in their current buildings would be cost prohibitive.

  “An affordable three-bedroomed apartment would require a commute to the base,” he continued. However, permanent two-bedroom apartments, within walking distance of the base, are reasonably priced. The child could sleep in one of our rooms for the first period of her life. When she is too old for that, we can review our living arrangements again. Do you find this approach agreeable?”

  Elizabeth was awash with indecision. His suggestion was sensible, and she was frail enough to want the outward appearance of a normal marriage. Although the arrangement would be convenient for childcare, she questioned how personally painful it would be to live so closely with Teloc and yet to live so separately from him. Rationally speaking, it would be very like their living arrangements on the Constance, two cabins adjacent to each other, but they had shifted too far from the respectful, but distant, relationship they had enjoyed on board. Her face expressed her doubts, as she struggled to find an answer.

  “I can see this suggestion does not please you,” he said. “I will admit my reasoning placed significant emphasis on the financial merits of the proposal. My savings are adequate for the short term, but it may take some time for me to find employment on Denison when I am dismissed from the service. Frugality is logical in consideration of that. However, I see that you have no wish to live so closely with me. I apologize for placing you in an uncomfortable position.”

  Elizabeth laughed anxiously at the false notion that she did not wish to live closely with him. She wanted to live very closely with him, but that was something he could not offer.

  “I’ll have to think about it,” she said at last. Then drawing on her courage, she broached the topic that her own sensibilities found deeply embarrassing. “Teloc, I have a favor to ask of you. I know it’s silly and a little unreasonable, and I know I shouldn’t care so much about what other people think. But it would be really humiliating if someone saw you leaving my apartment tonight. Could I ask you to stay? You could have the bed, and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

  “I was intending to stay,” he said distractedly. “It appears we misapprehended each other’s intentions, Elizabeth Massoud.”

  “Oh.”

  “Abdul Qureshi has been advising me on the nature of Meccan marriage and the duties I must fulfill. I trust I have not misunderstood his meaning.”

  “Oh, dear,” she said. “I should have warned you about Abdul. He has a wicked sense of humor. You can’t take anything he says too literally, especially if he adopts a serious tone of voice. Perhaps you should check with me before acting on his advice. What did he tell you?”

  “Regarding this topic, both he and the imam concurred. The marriage should be consummated and…how shall I say it…re-consummated on a regular basis. Therefore, I intended to stay. I presumed you were expecting the same,” he said with some embarrassment.

 
; His unease was infectious. Elizabeth blushed deeply. “Well, legally that’s not necessary on Denison. Denison recognizes today’s wedding and the marriage contract.”

  “My belief was that we were marrying, in part, to satisfy your family’s traditions. Is that not so?”

  “Yes, but they won’t know what we do, or don’t do, in private. You...Gnostians have no interest in that kind of thing. I...we just have to deal with it. It’s what I expected,” she answered clumsily.

  “What did you expect?” he asked with a more incisive tone.

  “Well, you know, that it wasn’t going to be a typical marriage, that you wouldn’t be like a Terran husband,” she prevaricated.

  “When I stated that I could not be like a Terran husband, I was referring to the fact that I am not as companionable as a Terran, that I have a great need for solitude, and will not always want your company. What did you think I meant?”

  “I thought you were talking about... marital relations. You know, that you couldn’t participate. That you have no interest in that kind of thing.”

  “As usual, Elizabeth Massoud, you have paid inadequate attention to what I have said about my planet and my culture. The imprecision in the human memory is quite striking. I informed you, previously, that Gnostian men have little interest in sexual activity. I did not say they had none. My intent is to fulfill my duty,” he affirmed, in a most serious manner.

  Elizabeth’s heart was racing, and she could find no ready response to that statement.

  “Duty isn’t very romantic, Teloc,” she said at last.

  “I do not understand romance. It is alien to me,” he stated blandly. “However, I am stimulated by your scent, Elizabeth Massoud, and there is a reasonable probability that I could consummate the marriage and fulfill my marital obligations.” He pulled at his neckline and turned red. “Few Gnostians are married to beautiful human wives who produce such delicious pheromones. Few are exposed to such stimulation.” This compliment was delivered with extreme awkwardness.

  Elizabeth was quite certain that she was producing bountiful pheromones at that precise moment but felt a little guilty about it. Perhaps she was contributing to Teloc’s mental instability by triggering such reactions.

  “Are you sure that’s what you want? It shouldn’t be just about what I want. It could be disruptive to your health.”

  “On Delta Alpha Seven B, our intimacies were primarily dictated by my needs. A reversal would not be unreasonable.”

  “I don’t want you to do something that you feel uncomfortable with, or that is difficult for you.”

  “I have made some effort to reduce the difficulties. As part of my preparation, I have abstained from using my nasal inhibitor. In addition, I have been researching human sexuality. It is quite remarkable how little of the published material has academic merit. Although informative, only a small proportion contains objective data. Nonetheless, I am as ready as I can be. I think we should try the experiment.”

  Research. Experiment. Was this some nerdy scientist effort at seduction? Elizabeth was near to panicky giggles, and then a thought tempered her.

  “Teloc, my body has changed dramatically. It’s not just my shape, but my skin. It has all these weird changes. They are not very attractive.”

  “I do not care,” he stated honestly. He tugged at his collar again. “It is possible that I may not be able to perform. Could you forgive me, if that was the case?”

  Elizabeth smiled tenderly. Her feelings for Teloc were marked by a distinct, and perhaps unreasonable, willingness to forgive him anything. She opened her arms to him, and he sat shyly beside her on the couch. She pulled herself to her knees so that her hands could reach around his neck. He looked at her hesitantly. She nuzzled him, and his eyes darkened. She felt his heartbeat thundering under her arm.

  “Let’s go to bed,” she suggested, and he picked her up and carried her there.

  Several hours later, the persistent demands of her shrinking bladder woke Elizabeth. She lay still for a few moments with her eyes closed, savoring the memory of her wedding day which had started so poorly and ended so wonderfully. All the good things in life, at least those things she had given up on, were to be hers—husband, child, family, a sense of home and love. The love was all on her part she knew; he was all about duty. He could not deny his rational nature. Nevertheless, her love was a living, vibrant thing, giving her purpose and softening her heart.

  She opened her eyes to the grey dawn light to see a hollow spot in the bed beside her. A little pang resonated in her chest. Teloc had left without saying goodbye and, though used to some insensitivity on his part, this did hurt.

  Her bladder was insistent, so she turned over to exit the bed only to be transfixed by the image in front of her. There, on his knees, meditating, was her spectral husband, deathly pale, perfectly erect, and disconnected from everything around him. His breathing was imperceptible, and his body was disturbingly motionless.

  The lightyears between their origins were suddenly tangible. He was all that was foreign and remote, and just at that moment, his child turned within her, as if in concert with, and in response to, the father’s strangeness. The awareness of the enormous gulf between them was like a blow to her chest, leaving her breathless. Thunderstruck, Elizabeth comprehended, for the first time, what it meant to have married an alien and to have another growing within her. Her mind revolted at the truth, and unease sprawled through her gut.

  Flustered and perhaps a little frightened, she obeyed her need to visit the bathroom, carefully avoiding contact with the alien as she slipped past him. On returning, Elizabeth found him back in her bed, smiling contently. His smile only made him more of a stranger to her. She climbed into the bed with reluctance.

  “I have slept enough, but it is probable that you need more sleep?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She lay beside him rigidly, facing away.

  She closed her eyes and tried to relax, lying beside the invader who had taken over her life. She had presumed he meant to allow her to sleep once more, but he was loquacious compared to his normal self.

  “I think marriage may suit me, despite my reservations. I savor the memory of last night.” He placed a cool hand on her back, and she tried not to flinch. “May I feel your stomach?” he asked. She wanted to say no, but the habit of politeness made her say yes instead. He placed his hands over her swollen middle and the child moved, continuing the conspiracy with its father, nauseating her but triggering him to smile.

  “Your sister has three children,” he added, traipsing through his own thoughts with little intent to engage her. “We do not do that. Those who wish to have more than one child, usually wait until the first is grown before they have another. It is considered irresponsible to raise two children at once and to divide parental attention between them. However, your sister manages. I believe her older children require more discipline, but her efforts are otherwise quite worthy. I understand the human necessity to have children close together, since you are a short-lived species. You are thirty. It would not be reasonable to wait twenty-five years before reproducing again. However, human women are very fertile. I could have many children by you. No Gnostian woman could give me that.”

  With limberness she did not believe she still had, Elizabeth shot up and sat upright on the bed.

  “What in heavens are you talking about?”

  Teloc, clearly caught off guard by her abruptness, stammered, “I was talking about our marriage, and the pleasure I anticipate from it.”

  “I’m not some kind of brood animal, or artificial womb. Is that what you want from me? Some human cow to give you babies because you couldn’t find a woman on Gnost to do it. So, you settled on me—a lesser kind of animal, but the best you could do.”

  “No…”

  “Our marriage was supposed to be about the baby and getting legal residency for you on Denison. What are we doing in bed together? We weren’t meant to be together. We were born on different planets. Not jus
t born on different planets; our ancestors didn’t come from the same place. It’s not like a Denisonian marrying a Meccan or an Andrean. It’s not just about culture. We’re physically different. Not just skin tone. Our biology is different too. We are different species. We have no business making babies together. It’s just unnatural. You are an alien.”

  After the torrent of words, Teloc stared at her. Whether he was collecting his thoughts, or merely stunned by the change in her attitude was unclear.

  “You are an alien to me too, Elizabeth. We are not the first of our two races to have a child together.” He observed her closely.

  “If our races were supposed to interbreed, then maybe the baby girls would fare better. Allah put our ancestors on the opposite ends of the galaxy for a reason. He didn’t mean to have us mingle and make love. We are going against what He wanted. We are going against nature. This is just wrong,” she wailed.

  Massoud, stressed by the panicky truth she had revealed in these words, was trembling, and Teloc’s efforts to place an arm around her did not help. She brushed him away, rejected him. His physical proximity could not bridge the chasm that nature had placed between them. Teloc’s face had lost all signs of expression; he was in deep thought, preparing to respond. After several minutes, he spoke.

  “If your God did create us, He imbued both our races with a desire to explore. Both our peoples are spacefarers. It is in our nature to reach out into the universe and discover what is there. If this trait was a divine intent, then it might be inferred that your God expected us to find each other eventually. We are also capable of reproducing with each other, so this must also be a consequence of divine intent, presuming you accept theist beliefs. More specifically, Constance is healthy. This simple fact must indicate that our mating is permissible in accordance with the natural order, or, if you prefer, the divine order.”