by René, Dani
He’s an asshole at the best of times, but deep down, I know he’s a good guy and he’ll care for her. With my past coming back to haunt me the way it has, I can’t risk her being hurt, so I have to walk away. I don’t want her to remember me. I want her to hurt so badly tonight that she’ll walk away with hate in her heart for me.
“Are you ready to play, slut?” I grunt, not using her pet name, making her feel used like all the other women I’ve walked into this room with. I couldn’t do it at home, I needed somewhere neutral. A place where she will have someone to watch her when I walk out. Carrick and Asher know what I have planned. They both told me I’m making a mistake. And as much as I want to believe them, I don’t.
“Yes, Sir,” she murmurs beautifully, but doesn’t look at me, her eyes are downcast, yet I notice the glistening on her lashes. Tears.
I walk to the door, pulling it open and gesturing for the blonde to come inside. I hate blondes. They do nothing for me, and that’s why I’ve chosen her. She’s perfect for what I have to do. “Eva, look at me,” I command, tugging the toy I’ve brought into the room with us over to where my girl is kneeling. Her big blue eyes widen further when she sees the other woman. “This is Leonie, she’s a toy just like you,” I taunt. Humiliation. Degrading Eva isn’t as easy as it is for me to do to others. Because I allowed her to get into my heart. I fell for her and now I’m going to break us both in the process.
When she didn’t mean anything to me but being a hole to use, I found it easy to hurt her, and then pleasure her. But this time there will be no aftercare. This time, she’ll run to the arms of another man, and I won’t be angry for her doing that. Because that’s my plan.
“Are you going to be a good slut for me?” I ask her, swallowing the bile that threatens to choke me. Her eyes are glossy, but she doesn’t cry. Fuck, she doesn’t even flinch anymore. She’s steeling herself. That’s good.
“Yes, Sir.”
She’s always been perfect at playing my games better than I ever thought. I watch her school her features. Her transparency is clear to me the moment I look at her. I step behind the blonde, undoing her bra, allowing it to fall from her shoulders. Reaching around, I pull on her nipples, tweaking them until they’re pebbled peaks. “See how well she responds, slut?” Eva’s gaze is pure fury, and rage dances in the depths. Soon, she’ll hate me like I need her to.
I release the girl’s tits and rip her panties from her tiny hips. Gripping her ass, I squeeze, opening the cheeks to see her tiny holes. Leonie is slim, she’s smaller than Eva, and I know if I fucked her I’d break her in two.
“She’s got beautiful little holes for me to abuse,” I taunt the woman I love. I watch her shatter in front of me. And each time I glance her way, I convince myself that it’s the right thing to do. I’ve been greedy, needing her more than I was allowed. More than I should.
“Please, Sir,” she pleads, her gaze asking more than her lips are saying. She doesn’t want this. But I have to do it.
“I didn’t ask you to speak. Did I?” She doesn’t respond. I grip the toy’s hips, leading her over to the bench that sits to the left of where I have Eva kneeling. Her body shifts on her heels uncomfortably. Once our guest is bent over, I lean in and plant kisses on her thighs. Soft, delicate pecks.
A lone tear falls from Eva’s left eye, trickling its way down her cheek in sadness. I reach for the smooth cunt of Leonie, stroking it, making it wet with just the tips of my index and middle fingers. Her moans fall from her lips, needy and breathy. Pleasuring her, I slip both fingers into her sodden hole, feeling her walls pulse around my digits. Sucking me into her body, she whimpers when I crook my fingers. All the while, I watch Eva.
The pain is clear, written all over her face. Agony unlike anything I’ve ever seen mars her beauty. It grips my chest and breathing is difficult. My mind is in turmoil. I’ve never hurt before, I’ve never allowed myself to feel any emotion for any woman I’ve been with. And this is why, because the emotional pain bleeds into the physical. It grips me in an iron clad fist, ripping me to shreds. “You see, Eva. This life doesn’t have love in it. Emotion only breaks you, this darkness we surround ourselves in is only made for cold, dead hearts that no longer allow love in,” I inform her. Knowing how much she’s hurting doesn’t satisfy me. I didn’t think it would. I knew this would be difficult, but I didn’t realize just how much so.
“Sir,” she gasps, her cheeks now tearstained.
I pull my fingers from the pussy of Leonie and bring them to my lips. “The heart is something that has to be locked away. This,” I gesture around us, while cleaning my fingers of the sweet, yet musky juices. “Is the only way.”
I tug Blondie back up, looking her in the eyes. “Go. Thank you for offering yourself.” My command is clear. I’m done with her. Disappointment etches on her pretty young face and it’s all I need to know that she wanted more. Too bad, princess. The asshole is back.
Once I’m alone with Eva, I tug her up by her hair, and drag her to the bed. I push her down front first. Bending her over, I watch as she trembles.
“I … I didn’t mean—”
I swat her ass so hard the sting on my hand smarts painfully. Her words are halted, but her whimpers are music to my ears. “You did mean. You fucking meant it when you looked at me didn’t you, I heard you murmur it. You said those three fucking words that you knew would either break us or make us,” I growl angrily. “I told you, Eva. Never fall in love with me, but you did. Didn’t you?” I swat her again, harder this time. “Did you see me lick those sweet juices from Leonie? That’s who I am. Is that the man you want to love?” My questions are harsh, the warning tone telling her I’m no longer playing around.
“Fuck you, Nate,” she grinds out through clenched teeth. Every moment I’ve been with her she’s acted perfectly, she’s played into my hands like clay. I’ve molded her into this. It’s my fault she’s breaking, and it’s my fault she’ll be stronger for it.
“Fuck me?” Before I have time to think about it, I see red. I see the pain between us, it’s a poignant entity, a force of nature that can’t be hidden. Shoving my slacks down along with my briefs, I fist my cock, slapping her ass hard, marking it with my print. Red. Beauty.
“I hate you. I fucking hate you for doing this.” I believe her venom spat words. They’re a poison seeping directly into my veins. They meld into my blood, killing me slowly, painfully, and I deserve it.
Her words only add fury to my already angry demeanor. This is what I wanted. I grip the globes of her pert ass and slam into her hard and deep. She cries out loud and I realize she wasn’t ready for me. She’s normally wet, needy, this time… This time she’s really angry. Her body doesn’t respond, but I don’t relent. I force myself in her. A screech falls from her lips, pained and agonizing, so fucking brutal it rips my chest apart.
My anger turns to anguish. The fury turns to sadness and my black dead heart ceases to beat. My cock drives into her, I know I’m hurting her, but I don’t stop. I can’t. I grip her hair, pulling her back so my lips are at her ear. “Is this the man you love? The fucking monster who hurts you more than he cares for you?”
“This isn’t you, Nate,” she manages to choke out through the tormenting strokes of my cock in her, stealing her breath. “You want me like this? Broken and shattered?” I want to nod. I want to tell her that I want to see her in nothing but pieces for me. But I don’t.
My hips slam into her ass. The sounds of flesh, sex, and violence sound around us in the darkness, in the sinful place where I first found her. “This is the end, Eva. You feel this.” I drive into her, stilling myself while I’m ball’s deep inside her cunt. “This is the last time we’ll be connected like this.”
“Fuck you, Nate. Fuck you for hurting me. But more than that,” she murmurs with a resounding hatred lacing each word when I feel her arousal soak my dick. She likes it rough. She needs it like this. Like I do. “Fuck you for making me love you.” Her words are filled with yearning,
agony, and frustration. Her body is locked, mine is rigid. She said it. Admitting that she does indeed love me.
Love. The one word that can make a grown man fall to his knees. It can halt armies, it can shine light on the blackest of nights. But right now, I can’t let it affect me.
I don’t respond. I move again, needing to finish this. To let her go. I release her hair, and in three long strokes, I feel her body pulse, tighten, and milk my dick until I’m a heaving mess. When I pull out, I step back and watch my seed slowly drip from her pink flesh. It’s an erotic sight. Beautiful even.
That’s it. The final time I’ll see her like this. She doesn’t move. She keeps her head on the mattress, and I allow my eyes to drink her in, memorizing her in this state. This shattered girl of my making. I tuck myself back into my slacks, grab my jacket and I turn to the door. With my hand on the doorknob, I breathe, it’s not a sigh of relief, it’s an exhale of the misery that’s clouding my vision.
“Goodbye, Eva.”
16
Eva
He left me in the room last night, alone, in tears, and in pain. Not physical, but emotional. I was more than a mess and I know I’d never been hurt like that before. Even when I was younger, when my life had changed for the worst, and I was forced by the one person I trusted to do things I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Nothing could have prepared me for this, for the agony of heartbreak. For the agony of having your heart and soul ripped from you in a moment of passion, and allowing the person to walk out with it.
It was the first time I’d ever felt like nothing. Like the slut he called me. As I walk into Sins today, I make my way straight to the bar. Dylan glances up, offering me a smile and I feign one back. Nobody besides Carrick knows what happened between Nate and I, and I don’t intend to tell them. When I slip onto the stool, Dylan sets a shot glass down in front of me without saying a word, and beside it, he places a bottle of Gran Patron Platinum. A bottle going for almost two-hundred dollars. I grab it and pour a shot.
“I don’t have money,” I tell Dylan after I down the shot, wincing at the burn that follows as the liquid travels down my throat. I revel in it. The physical pain will quell the emotional shit going on in my head.
“It’s on Carrick. He told me to give you the bottle and for you to meet him in his office.” I should’ve known he’d do that. The man is a bad influence on me, he’s also my best friend. Although, getting me drunk could only mean one of two things—he’s either trying to ease the pain, or he’s going to give me pain.
I opt for the second option because right now a good harsh spanking would work wonders. I’ve been numb since last night when Nathan left. Nothing’s felt right. I haven’t cried, I haven’t even thought about being on my own. Perhaps I’m in denial. Not wanting it to be true, but deep down knowing that it’s done.
Grabbing my gift, I nod and head toward the staircase that leads to the offices of Mason and Carrick. The two owners of Seven Sins. Both handsome, both intensely charming, and both incredibly talented Dominants.
When I reach the dark wooden door, I knock once and wait.
“Come in,” his seductive tone comes from the other side a moment later. Pushing open the door, I step into the inner sanctum of sex and shut the door behind me. Carrick’s office is his playroom. With toys adorning one wall along with a dresser which hides his kinkier gems. There’s also a spanking bench in the corner which I’m sure has seen many beautiful women bound to it. A large mahogany desk faces the club downstairs, through the wall of two-sided glass. There’s a bar just across from where he’s seated with a selection of the finest wines, brandies, and whiskies. The dim lighting and amount of leather in the room would make you think you’ve walked into a BDSM lair, and I suppose to Carrick it is. This is the perfect place to get lost.
“Thank you for the drink,” I lift the bottle. His eyes, the color of honey, watch me, they roam over every inch of me, causing my blood to heat. The mix of alcohol and Carrick was always my downfall.
He doesn’t respond, merely steeples his fingers in front of his chiseled face as he regards me with curiosity. The smooth tanned skin of his face and hands match that of his hairless sculpted chest. His tattoos are hidden by a white designer button up shirt. Dark messy hair sits atop his head, and those deep golden eyes pin me to the spot.
“I didn’t think you’d try to get me drunk,” I continue, dropping my gaze from his and making my way to the counter. Once I’ve found a small shot glass behind the bar, I fill it, and down another gulp of the strong alcohol. Patron is my choice of drink, especially when I need to forget.
He rises, still silent with the air of a predator, strolling over to me. Dressed in only his shirt and a pair of dark gray slacks, he looks ever the businessman, not the Dominant I know he is. Different to Nate, I know Carrick’s needs, the control he holds onto so tightly is the only thing that I know he enjoys. He wields it like a blade, taking out his opponent—who is in this case, me—in one swoop. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, giving me a peek at the ink that adorns his left arm.
When he finally reaches me, he’s still said nothing. Instead, he grabs my glass, fills it and downs the shot in one long gulp. I watch his throat work as he swallows, his Adam’s Apple bobs up and down. He doesn’t react, doesn’t even wince at the harshness of the drink.
“I’ve always warned you never to love a man like me.” Those are the first words he ever said to me when he’d finally lost all restraint with me one night. I was sixteen. He took my virginity when I sat on the hood of his car and opened my legs for him. I was in pain, I wanted him to take it away. The thing that most girl’s hold as a prize, I gave away like it was a broken toy.
Where he found me, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. My past was ugly, still is. My future isn’t much brighter though. He’d walked into hell and stole me away. I had hearts in my eyes when he saved me. When he showed me that princes were real and they do slay the dragon, only Carrick didn’t kill, he merely set two rules down on the table. If they were to come near me again, he’d have his people take care of them. And if any were to threaten me, even if it was from afar, he’d make sure they never saw the light of day again.
Even though I don’t know much about him, about his past, I realized that night, there was something innately dangerous about the man who saved my life.
“Why, Eva?” he asks. He’s genuinely curious, tipping his head to the side, watching me. I wish I could tell him what he wants to know, but I can’t. I don’t even know why I love Nate. Loved. Past tense.
“I want to forget, Carrick. Please, don’t ask me to remember him. What we had.” He sighs at me, he’s disappointed. So am I. “There’s only so much I can take right now and having you angry with me isn’t one of those things,” I tell him honestly. My rock. My sounding board through the life in this place, in this lifestyle and world where I find that emotions can not only hurt you, but turn you into someone you don’t recognize.
“Why did you come up here, Eva? You know what I want.”
“You asked me to meet you in your office,” I sass him with my response. I’m hoping to taunt him, to make him want to spank me, but I know it will take a lot more than that. When I finally look into his honey-colored eyes, they’re swirling with desire. “I want to play.” The words fall from my lips with raw, pained honesty.
“I’m not taking you the day after the man you love walked out on you,” he bites out. He’s not angry at me, he’s angry at himself. I watch him run his hand over the stubble on his jaw. He’s the opposite of Nathan. In the dark, they both love the same world, but in the light of day, they couldn’t be more different if they tried. And I wonder how they even know each other.
“Why? Are you scared? You’re the only one who knows what I need right now.” I tell him. I am single. He doesn’t have to worry about Nate anymore. There’s always been this underlying tension between us. I’ve never been in a real scene with him. Maybe tonight he’ll help me forget.
“Eva, you don’t know what you’re asking,” he warns. As always, he wants what’s best for me. I don’t. I need the pain to stop.
“I do. Carrick,” I breathe. It’s not seductive, it’s pained. “Please just make the pain go away.” This time, the pleading in my tone makes him narrow his eyes as he regards me warily for a long while. Perhaps he’s waiting for me to change my mind. But I won’t. We’re in a stand-off. I want him, he wants me, but there’s an elephant in the room and it’s my love for Nate. He knows it, and so do I.
“Strip. Down to your heels. Nothing else,” he commands with the harshness I’ve been craving. Turning, he heads to the wall of toys that taunt me from their position.
Immediately, I slip the black dress I’m wearing down, it pools at my feet in a puddle of soft silk. Next, I step out of my panties and unclasp my bra. Once I’m naked, I pour another shot of tequila and down it immediately.
When I turn around, I’m met with the molten gaze of my knight in his Armani slacks, and a shirt that probably cost more than my damn apartment. Brutal, beautiful, and utterly enamored with me. The air is thick with lust. There’s no love here, there’s only the dark, sinful temptation of a man I shouldn’t be with.
“Sit on my desk, lean back. Get those pretty red heels on the desk and spread your legs.” The order is laden with his hunger. I stalk over to the mahogany desk that’s empty except for his laptop that sits on the far end which is now closed. No more work tonight. For the rest of the evening, he’ll have to be there for me. Allow me to cry, offer me physical release with the leather crop in his hands.
The desk is large with enough space for him to play. I settle back, leaning on my elbows. I lift my feet and set my heels on the edge. My legs spread lewdly for him. His honey-colored orbs turn to chestnut, and darker still as they roam over my curves, my smooth skin, and find my glistening core. In his hand, he grips the crop so tightly his knuckles turn white. I don’t miss the small, infinitesimal smile that lifts his full lips. They’re pink, soft, and in the shape of a Cupid’s bow.